*From Rowan's perspective*
Water started to soak into my shoes. The tiny current flowed over my fingers as I ran them along the river bed. Something shiny had caught my eye and when I looked closer I found that the whole area was covered in beautiful rocks. I was looking for something specific though. Finally, I found it. I held it up to the sun to make sure I was right. There was a hole that ran right down the middle. I was going to give it to Brisa to put on her bracelet. The shiny gray would go well with the other abstract and decorated colors of her charms. I slipped my new found treasure into the pocket of my pants.
It had been a few minutes since I left to go to the bathroom and I didn't want Brisa to worry so I started walking back. That's when a death-rattling screech shook through the trees.
No, what if it is Brisa?
Another scream, then another. I bolted into a run.
I shouldn't have left her alone. She was already feeling weak. I left her vulnerable. I am an idiot. They could have overpowered her easily. Two against one, that wasn't fair. I knew I couldn't trust them, and now it might be my fault she's dead.
I was close to the place where we had picked the berries when I saw her. Misty, she stood with a panicked expression and pure fear in her eyes.
"Where is she?!" I yelled. A flash of guilt crossed her face before it changed to something like anger.
"Where is she?!" I yelled again. She opened her mouth to say something but before she could a cannon sounded.
A death, a tribute, Brisa.
"Dart!" She screamed and scrambled into a sprint. I followed quickly behind her hoping and praying that Brisa wasn't the one that died. She couldn't be gone. Misty thought the cannon was for Dart and deep inside I hoped she was right.
She ran down the mountain and everything clicked in my mind. He fell off the ledge. From the time of the screams then to the cannon it was too fast, he had to have fallen into the waters. Maybe it is just him that is hurt and Brisa is fine. I tried to reassure myself, but the more I thought I realized that if Brisa was okay she would be here.
No, no, please.
Misty suddenly stopped and turned her head. Her face was a reaction of pure horror. I looked.
A body laid lifeless. A huge rock had punctured through him. Blood covered the stone.
My mouth dropped. That was Dart. The body that was alive and active only minutes ago now laid still and gone. Death was still a mystery to me. It was like it stole away their souls. Or did it gently take them from the pain?
I scanned the area for any sign of Brisa. I didn't see her on the rocks or in the water. I didn't know if that was a good or bad sign.
I called out her name.
Misty charged towards me before I had time to react. She grabbed ahold of my jacket pulled it aggressively. The way she screamed almost made me pity her.
"She is fine you idiot! Look!" She pointed at the side of the huge cliff. At first, I couldn't see what she was talking about but then I finally did. Brisa hung limply in a tangle of vines. Was she breathing? She had to be since only one cannon went off.
"But Dart, He's gone! He's gone! And you are worried about her?!" The louder she yelled the more tears streamed from her face.
"I lost him because your stupid girlfriend tripped and started to fall off, and Dart, Dart, he is saved her!"
"Then how did they end up like that?" I yelled back. I found my pulse seizing as I spoke. My finger led to Dart's dead body, reminding her once more that he was gone.
"Because!" Her voice faltered for a moment. "Because she pulled him down with him when she fell!"
I knew she was leaving out part of the story. It didn't make sense.
"And now because of her! Because of her, he is gone!"
"It's not her fault."
"Are you blaming Dart?"
"He's the one that fell also. So I guess I am."
Her face contorted into and I pulled out the knife in my belt. I had stashed it before we left the cave that morning just in case. I hadn't trusted them from the beginning but I did trust Brisa so I had agreed to the alliance, but that didn't stop me from arming myself.
She jumped towards me with a pickaxe of her own. How had I not seen that?
I dodged her swing and she fell over before pulling back up. Holding out my hands in a defensive position, I prepared for her next move. She dove for my legs sending us both to the ground. Her whole body weight fell on top of me knocking out my air. I sucked in trying to breathe.
Misty was yelling things but I couldn't make out exactly what she was saying. She slammed her fists into my face a few times before I got ahold of her shoulders and threw her aside. A short yelp escaped her mouth.
I got up and jumped pinning her down.
"You murderer!" She screamed.
"I didn't kill him! You just can't accept the fact that you couldn't save him."
She screamed again and twisted out from my grasp. She lurched her axe at me. I dodged it. My knife was aimed at her throat daring her to try that again.
"Misty, I don't necessarily want to kill you."
She ignored what I said and lunged towards me. With one quick motion, I plunged my knife into her stomach. She let out a long gargled yell. While she held her wound, blood poured through her fingers and into the grass.
At least when she died she would be with him. Death wouldn't have separated them anymore.
"Thank you." Her gasping voice whispered as the lights slowly drained from her eyes.
Through the guilt, she thought she deserved death, and now she had it.
Bang!
She had slumped to the ground. I ran towards the river's edge right when the hovercraft finished picking up her body. Both Dart and Misty, gone within ten minutes of each other. I let the dead mourn for themselves and climbed up the rocks to get Brisa. The caves ledge was tall enough. She was still out of my reach. Her eyes were closed and her limbs laid limp.
I had to get her down before the vines fell.
"Brisa!" I called up. There was no reply. Not even movement. How could I get her down? I could try to climb the rocks or get a rope and lower it down. What would be the safest and most effective method?
I called her name again. No answer. I decided to climb the cliff. Slowly I found footholds and places I could grab. Inch by inch I found my way towards her.
I was finally there. I was going to get her down. I set my feet on a sturdy rock and grabbed another vine. After tying it around my waist I reached for her. I grabbed her arm then her shoulder until I had a grip around her waist. She was still tangled in the vines but now if they snapped I had her secure.
"Brisa."
I needed her awake to get her down.
I shook her again and again until she started to stir. Her head hung out over the vines and when she saw the rushing water below she panicked.
"Brisa" I whispered.
"Rowan." Her voice was relieved.
"I need your help to get you down."
"Okay." She croaked.
"Tie a vine around your waist, and keep it on until you get out of the vines and onto the rock."
She did, but that's when a cracking sound bounced off the rocks. It was as if Brisa knew what was happening.
"Oh no." She whispered under her breath.
She swung forward and my arm slipped from under her.
The vines were breaking. It was caused by her movement. The shift in weight upset the balance that held her in place over the ravine.
She instinctively reached for my hand. With everything in me I longed to grasp hers but that's when the strongest vines snapped.
We both yelled, but to our surprise, she didn't fall. She hung suspended in midair by the one vine that held her.
No, no, no....
I reached for her but she pushed me away.
"No! It's too late. When I fall it will take you wi-" When she talked it was quick and desperate.
Before I knew what was happening it did. The vine snapped. I yelled her name as she screamed on the long fall down. Her arms flailed until she hit the rock filled water with a crash.
She had saved me.
She could be dead. She could be gone. It's all my fault. It happened too quickly. If I could have caught her this wouldn't have happened. I'm horrible. What did I do?
I would have stumbled down the rocks if I hadn't caught myself. Once I finally got down I darted into the water. My eyes scanned back and forth begging for any sign or her. If she was gone I would never forgive myself.
Without hesitation, I walked into the water. My feet being planted helped me stand firm.
From memory, I spotted the area where she had landed. Running was had to do in water but I tried all the more. I let my hands search the water. The flow was strong. Was she washed downstream?
A hand. That's all it took for me to find her. She must have raised it in a last attempt before her mind shut completely off.
I picked up her water-soaked body and cradling her head in my hands. Her face was covered in blood. A huge gash ran across the side of her face through her eyebrow and barely stopped at her eyelid.
The journey out of the water was full of my worry, stress, and questions.
Is she dead? Will she recover? If she is okay, how will she heal? Has she lost too much blood? Is it too late?
Climbing up to the cave was harder than I thought it would be. My shoes were wet and slippery and carrying her made it harder. I laid Brisa on the cold hard rock floor.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered to her. The only thing that kept me from crying was knowing that if I did Panem would see and so would the Capitol officials. What would they be thinking? I hoped that they thought I was putting on a show. The Capitol citizens loved romance, especially in the games. Except usually tributes fake it to get sponsors but what Brisa and I had was real. Realer than anything I'd felt before.
I didn't want to touch her wound in case it could get infected but I had to stop the bleeding. She didn't have enough blood in her body as it was.
I quickly got gauze-like fabric from one of Dart's bags and carefully wrapped it around her head.
How did I let this happen? I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have let her pick the berries. If I would have just left her in the cave.....
Luckily she was breathing but it was raspy and struggled. Her chest barely rose and fell which concerned me.
I picked her up in my arms cradling her as a child. I would stay right with her until she woke up. I leaned back against the cave wall praying for her recovery.
I stared at her, making sure she kept breathing. Her skin was pale and cold from the water, and her hair was stuck to her face. I brushed her hair back and changed the bandage on her head.
She is going to wake up. She has to. She is a fighter.
I reminded myself.
The coldness of her body made me pull her closer. Slowly her eyes flicked open and she met mine. I was ecstatic with joy, but it was shattered when her expression was more pained than relieved to see me.
"What....What are you doing here?....no...No!" The more she talked the more scared she got. "No, no, Rowan."
"What are you talking about? I saved you."
"I'm not dead?" Tears lined her eyes.
"No-"
"I thought I was in Heaven, I got scared when I saw you...which would mean you had died....I always wanted you to win if I died."
"Oh Brisa," I pulled her close to me again. I couldn't hold in my emotions. While thinking she was dead the only thing she cared about was me living.
Slowly I placed my lips on her forehead making sure not to hit her gash. She reached up touching the fabric curiously.
"You hit your head on a rock when you fell-"
"Oh," She looked off thoughtfully.
I pulled her close again.
"How did you get in those vines?"As if the painful memory was coming back her eyebrows furrowed.
"Uh...I..they, she pushed after he helped then...he fell and..." She was trying so hard to think but I knew she couldn't. I didn't expect her to after falling more than 50 feet into rock-filled rapids and suffering more than two concussions within four days.
"Birdie, it's okay, you should get some rest."
"You sure?" Her voice was weak and sad. Was she giving up?
"Yes."
She settled back into my shoulder and I held my arm under her knees. Her breaths were raspy and quick. I was losing her slowly. Why hadn't they sent medicine? She was so close to dying. One more cough and there goes the blood keeping her alive. As if someone read my mind there was a voice followed by the anthem.
"Today at 2:00 the anthem will play signaling The Feast, this is no ordinary meal, it will be accompanied by something that each person needs desperately. Everyone will meet at the Cornucopia after the anthem. This is something you won't want to miss." Then it left.
Something that each person needs desperately
Brisa's medicine? It had to be. Could I get to the cornucopia first? Even if so she would never let me go. If the sponsors could send it they would have. This "Feast" was my only option.
I looked down to make sure she hadn't heard the announcement. She hadn't, she was deep asleep. Part of that concerned me.
I would wait a few hours until it was close to time then hopefully, she would still be asleep. I would gather some weapons and go. She would be safe in the cave. Although I didn't feel like leaving her, I had to go.
In case something happened to go wrong I cherished the time I had with her.
I slid my hand into hers and kissed each of her fingertips.
My mind started to wonder. It ventured to places and things that I could usually shove away, but now, at that moment they were uncontrollable. My thoughts speed-rolled down and the further it got the worse I felt.
Will my plan to save her even work? Will the Capitol believe it? Will they kill her on the spot? Or would will they find out that I had double-crossed them and kill me and Brisa and her family? What will happen if she dies? I would be Victor like the Capitol always promised and planned. Maybe I would get that special job that the Capitol always told me was mine. I would be famous. Everyone would love me. But would I be alone like I was all my childhood? Would I break if she dies? Would I be able to ever love again? Would I be forced into a relationship with someone I never loved?
Sweat collected on my face. No. I had to pull it together. I wouldn't let that happen. I couldn't. But I also couldn't control what the Capitol did. I couldn't stop them. They were stronger than me. I couldn't win. Will I ever? Will she live? What will happen to her? Will she be forced into a life of torture?
No, no, no STOP!
It was like I was hyperventilating. How could I be so wrong? How could I let myself get this attached? How could I be so stupid?
I had one job. One simple task. Kill her, but instead, I fell in love with her. I should have been opening the door to death but I was closing and locking it instead.
Was it my need for someone to love? Someone to love me? Would I be broken in the end? Would it shatter at my feet leaving more than me hurting? Why was love so reckless? Why was love so dangerous? Why couldn't it be simple? Because the Capitol has me and her trapped in a cage to die. They had done it to me. They had sent me here. They would have caused my hurt. They were the enemy, not myself, my choices, or love. It was always them.
I wanted to give up. Right then let everything died in front of me, but that wasn't who I was, and even if it was, I wouldn't let the Capitol have that satisfaction. Even if everything ended in flames at least I would have gone out fighting.
I would go get her medicine, I would get her out of the arena, I would do everything that I could to save her even if it meant giving my life. I had one last goal, and I would complete it no matter what happened. I needed something to keep me pushing and moving and I chose her and the One that sent me there.
I gently laid her on the ground and kissed her cheek. I grabbed a pack with extra weapons and some cloth just in case.
I looked over at Brisa before I left. She looked so beautiful when she slept. Her face calmed. I rarely saw her in a state of peace. It was refreshing. Almost made me believe I could have that too.
While telling myself I was doing the right thing I walked towards the entrance of the cave. As I got closer the water became louder as it hit the walls. But even through the chaos I could hear something different. I turned around to find Brisa looking at me. I froze as if I was caught doing a crime, even though I was doing the right thing, or at least I hoped.
Her eyes suspiciously gazed over my bag.
"...Where are you going?"
"Uhh," I needed something fast. If I told her the truth she would try to stop me. "I was going to the bathroom."
"With a bag?" Her look shone of disappointment.
"Brisa I-"
"Rowan don't lie to me, where were you going?"
I had to tell the truth now. I gave in and explained about the announcement.
"I know they will have the cure for you, and I have to go get it. Have you looked at yourself lately? Your life's on the line."
As I walked closer her stare softened.
"So is yours if you go. Rowan, you can't die." She put her hand to her head and closed her eyes in frustration. "You have to win... I will die and I don't want you to risk your life, think about it, they might not even have the cure there."
Why did she have such little faith in me? I didn't need to be protected, and I knew in my gut that the cure was there.
"Brisa your not thinking correctly, this is a game, every choice we make has consequences. We are nothing more than pawns on a chess board." My voice was rising. "Based on what you have told me about yourself, you have something to go home to. Maybe you should play your moves right so you can live." I signed and lowered my voice feeling guilty. "Brisa, just remember I'm doing this for you."
"And that's why you can't. I just.." She put her hand to her head again but this time looking tired. "you cannot leave, you can't die."
"I won't die, I know how to take care of myself and I won't let that happen-"
"I know, but you can't-"
"I will be back, don't leave the cave." My voice was firm as I walked out of the cave.
I put my hands on my forehead. What had I done? I don't know what made me snap at her. Maybe it was because I was on edge. The more I walked the guiltier I felt. I shouldn't have left her like that.
I started walking back to the cave. Brisa hadn't done anything, I shouldn't have gotten mad at her. She was trying to protect me and I appreciate that, but I could protect myself. It wasn't her fault though, she didn't know the Capitol favored me.
I felt even guiltier when I walked into the cave. "Brisa, I-"
I turned the corner and there she was. Covered in blood. Her mouth was open like she had choked and worse of all I didn't see her breathing.