(Picture of Zacson Gray)
A/n: I'm not very pleased with how I wrote this chapter, so I might come back and edit when this block disappears.
Regardless, enjoy it for now. And please, don't kill me.
• • •
"I'm pregnant."
...
She can't be serious.
"I'm serious." Becca rolls her eyes. "I'm really pregnant. Here's the proof." She shows me a couple of her ultrasound pictures which clearly states the clinic she goes to, her name and age etc.
Well, what am I to do with this information?
"And it's Zacson's baby. Now you know why he's been coming to me whenever I call?" She smirks. "Oh, have I ruined your movie, your lunch and your Valentines Day?"
"Fuck off."
"Look. I'm not trying to be rude. But you should be the one to back off. Shouldn't women be helping women? I'm a pregnant woman for god's sake. Just leave him and I won't even bother looking at you anymore."
It can't be true. It can't be true. Look at her damn cocky face. "I won't. Not until Zac come clean to me about it. Maybe you should tell him to leave me if you really want him to."
"You're a real stubborn one." She sighs. "Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you then."
With that, she turns around and struts away from me, leaving me to wonder what exactly has my life turned into.
I walk to my dearly missed MINI Countryman. Yep, I've had enough of getting rides from others. It's much easier being independent instead of having to wait around for Wayne's classes and trainings to end. Even though I still have a slight fear of driving, it's not enough to make me wake up two hours early just to catch his ride.
Have I really mistrusted Zac? He was there when I was drunk. He never took advantage of me. He never tried to force me into anything. He was sweet to me. He took care of me during the days I couldn't function. He always made me breakfast. He'd occasionally surprise me with grape fruit gum in my pockets. Heck, he even switched the air freshener in his car to smell like grapes.
But then again. That was how it was like with J too, isn't it? It always starts sweet in the beginning. Men always likes the chase. But after they got you? There's no excitement anymore. They know you won't leave them anymore. And that's when they start looking for someone else.
———
The same night, Zac comes back at 7 in the evening. I didn't know how to face him. In fact, I still felt dubious about what Becca told me.
"Is that your car outside I see?" He asks me, coming to kiss me on my forehead.
"Yep."
"Since when did you get your car back?"
"Over the weekend."
"Are you okay, baby? Is something wrong?" He pulls me in towards him.
"Nah. I just didn't want to take rides anymore. Figured it's easier to have my own car back. I miss it anyway." I put up a faint smile.
"I'm sorry... you sound like you're mad."
How do you put it? This isn't even at the mad stage anymore. I felt... betrayed. "I don't know how to say this. But I'm not happy."
He sighs. "I know. It's me. I've been neglecting you so much. And right now, seeing you like that? It hurts me to hurt you."
But you won't do anything about it. "Maybe, maybe this just isn't working out anymore."
"What? No, baby, don't say that." He crushes me tightly in his arms.
"I-I just..."
"Shhh. Give me some time. I'll make things right. I will."
———
I can no longer sleep with him on the same bed without feeling disgusted anymore. Sure, I didn't even know if Becca was telling the truth; but that little bit of possibility that it could be real irked me. Top it up with his shady behavior for weeks, what else was I supposed to think?
People always cheat on me. It's nothing new.
I choose to occupy all my time with something to do so to stop myself from overthinking. It's becoming unhealthy that I keep wondering to myself if he's with Becca whenever he's not with me, and I hated it.
I never told Cass and Ally about what Becca told me. I couldn't do that. They are already pretty pissed at him for ditching me the past few times. I couldn't ruin their impression of him even more when I didn't even know the truth myself. But, god, it's exhausting to bottle things up.
"This is new." Drew enters the house and sees me hanging upside down over the couch, my legs dangling over the headrest while my head almost touches the floor.
I didn't want to coop myself up in the bedroom where Zac and I spent plenty of time in, so I choose to lounge around in the living room. I just didn't expect anyone to come home this early to catch me in this awkward position.
"Hey there." I smile, seeing the upside down version of him.
"Is this a new yoga pose?" He shoots me a crooked smile, coming to take a seat next to me.
I reach my arms out, needing his help to pull me up. "Why are you home so early?"
"Finished my tests quick. No trainings today. Figured I'll come annoy you instead." He grins.
"So how did you come back? Isn't Wayne at the ring today?" I ask him.
"I ran."
"Seriously?" I gape at him.
"Can't you see my armpit sweat?" He raises both arms high in the air and I quickly scoot to the end of the couch. Lord knows this guy's sweat is nothing you'd want to go near to.
"Go away!" I shriek.
He goes to take a shower while I prepare us some cup noodles and chips. The best thing about hanging out with Drew is that he eats anything. Give him junk food, crappy food, instant food and he'll take it anyway.
"I'm not going to beat around the bush." He says while he slurps his noodles. "I know chu bin beeling upshack."
"What?" I raise a brow at him.
"I said, I know you've been feeling upset."
"Is that so?"
"Mm hmm. I think seeing Becca get into his car is evidence enough something is up."
Man, he really had to bring this up.
"Oops. My bad." He grins sheepishly. "But seriously, what's up? You know you can speak to me, right?"
I sigh. It isn't because I don't trust him or anyone for that matter. I just didn't want to talk about something I'm unsure about. "Let's just drop this."
"Fine. But I'll keep bothering you until you say it." He winks.
———
Later that week, I receive a text from Zac out of the blue.
Zacson: Can you come over?
Weird. He hadn't showed up for school the entire day. Why would he all of a sudden want me over? For the past few days, Zac had mostly went back to his own house to sleep now ever since the night I told him I couldn't carry on this way with him anymore. He asked me for time to make things right.
Maybe this is it. He's going to tell me everything's gonna go back to normal.
I don't reply, instead heading straight for my car. My heart keeps beating faster and faster as I get nearer to his mansion. This is the first time I'm showing up at his doorstep alone.
It's okay to be nervous. Everything's going to be fine.
I ring the doorbell.
"Kelsey?" Dion opens up for me, looking at me with a bizarre expression.
"Dion." I muster up a smile.
"H-how may I help you?" Translation: what are you doing here?
"Um, Zac asked me to come over."
"He did?" She raises a brow, looking skeptical.
"Yeah. I can show you the text if you want." I try to reach for my phone that's in my backpack. Maybe she's just afraid that I'm showing up without permission. That's fair.
"No, no. If you say he asked you, then come on in. He's in his room." She smiles faintly at me.
I make my way up the flight of stairs. I haven't been here in a month. And being here without Zac by my side is pretty intimidating. Additionally, something about Dion made me feel uncertain about this. Something feels... wrong. But, isn't it supposed to feel right?
When I reach his grey double door, I lightly tap on it three times.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
No response.
I do it again, this time coupled with calling out his name. He's probably just fallen asleep, I tell myself. My hand moves to the door handle and creak it open as soft as I can manage. The room is eerily silent, which only seems to project the loud thumping of my heart even more.
I feel like I'm in a thriller movie.
And boy, was I unprepared for the scene that's about to unfold right in front of my eyes.
Great. Just great. This again.
Right there on his king sized bed is a naked Zac lying on his side, his eyes closed. The lower part of his body is covered under his blanket so I can't say for sure if he's naked down there. But what's so shocking about this? He usually likes sleeping half-naked.
What made my heart sink is the sight of long golden hair sleeping behind him. Her arm is draped over his waist, basically spooning him from behind. Her clothes are scattered all over the floor, the loveseat and her bra dangling on his desk chair.
There's nothing left to the imagination. This is it. This is what they wanted me to witness for myself.
How foolish of me to think he's any different.
Like the coward I am, I turn my back around and choose to walk out the door where I came from.
I don't deserve this.
———
"Going out again, Kel?" My brother asks me when I emerge from my bedroom at 9PM.
It's been three consecutive nights I've been going out alone in the night, just so I can distract myself from the recurring image that keeps haunting me when I try to sleep on that bed at night.
"Yeah. Just going to Cass' as usual." I lie. I've been telling him that I was spending time at Cass' dorm. In order to make it believable, I even go ahead to drive my car to the school's parking lot to leave it there before I take a cab to the bar myself. The previous car accident taught me never to attempt drunk-driving anymore—not even when you're heartbroken.
"Is she okay?" He inquires.
"Oh, yeah, she's fine. Just some stuff with Paige. Girls stuff, y'know." I try to convince him, knowing he'll never try to fact-check with Cass about something personal like that.
"Alright. Stay safe then. Call me for anything, and I mean anything." He emphasizes.
"Even for tampons?" I smirk at him, putting on my platform wedges. I've been wearing simple shorts and sneakers for the last two nights; but it's Friday today and I no longer want to dress down.
Wayne rolls his eyes. "Don't misuse my hotline. Just stay safe."
I arrive at the bar a short while later, noticing a distinct increase of crowd. "Give me the usual," I call out to the bartender whom I recognize. He has been serving me for the past two nights.
"Damn. If I wasn't a married man, I'd think you might be coming here for me." He jokes.
I ignore him as he tries to grill me about what my reasons here are for again. He has been doing that the whole of yesterday.
I look out into the crowd, spotting various couples canoodling, laughing and having the time of their life. I can't help but my feel my heart sinking again. Once upon a time, this was Zac and I. We used to be happy. He used to make me this happy. But tell me, why is this time so different?
My mind happens to be a cruel place—coming up with several different scenes of what him and Becca might be doing right now as I wash my throat down with alcohol.
I honestly used to think I'll be able to get through this. I mean, I've already been through this once. It really shouldn't be all that hard. Yet here I am, finding myself go down the same dark road.
Maybe, maybe I'm just not meant to be loved.
The bar closes at 3AM in the night. I take a cab back to the campus and head back to my car, resting to let the smell of liquor reduce before I head home; in case Wayne is still awake and catches me in this state.
My phone begins to vibrate and I finally check it, seeing a bunch of texts. There's a few from Zac which I haven't been opening and at least ten from Cass.
Cassandra: Yooooo
Cassandra: Talk to me I'm bored
Cassandra: Do you wanna come over?
Cassandra: Are you okay?
Cassandra: REPLY ME
Cassandra: bitch
Cassandra: Okay. Is it the time of the month?
Cassandra: text me when you feel better <3
The time of the month... well, shit.