Zarah's POV
If I was hurt before, then it was nothing compared to how I was feeling now. I felt completely indifferent. Numb. The perfect word to describe me and my emotions.
They say betrayal only comes from someone you love. Or for me, someone I really care about, someone I thought cared for me too. I can be really ignorant at times.
It was time to let go, I told myself. No matter how painful it would be for me. He had clearly shown me my place and what he thought of me.
Staring at my packed clothes I couldn't believe how my life turned upside down in a few months. The once cheerful Zarah was no where, this was the broken Zarah.
I ignored the continuous knocking coming from the door. It had been going on since I locked the door. I was completely tired of everything now. I give up.
His words were consistently ringing in my ear. Breaking my heart over and over again.
Run away, like the coward you are.
I decided to do exactly what he had said: run away. Isn't that what I was supposedly good at? So I'm gonna show him how it's done.
Coward.
The tears came rushing down again, they had stopped for a while. I wondered where they came from, I thought my tear ducts will dry up, unfortunately they didn't. Not to mention the fact that my head was hurting like hell.
But nothing compared to how I felt when his words kept echoing in my head. I was slowly losing control of reality. I deeply cared for him.
Stop being weak.
I had to agree, I was weak. Trying to prove that I wasn't but failing was what made me angry, more at myself than him. I knew he was stating the obvious yet it still hurt; when it shouldn't.
The knocking was still going on. I refused to open up but I have nothing to hide anymore. My clothes were packed, sooner or later they'll know I'm leaving. Why not now.
Opening the door, I was engulfed in a warm hug. I immediately knew who it was. "I'm so sorry sweetheart," It was Maryam.
"Thank you. It's not your fault, y'know," I managed to croak out. She gave me a reassuring smile then answered, "I know."
I soon realized she wasn't alone. Aysha, Rukayya and Hauwa were there too. They were giving me sympathetic looks, I hated the look. It made me look weak, the one thing I was running away from.
"Please don't go," Aysha pleaded when she spotted my luggage. That was my undoing; the tears came back with a force that I didn't know I was capable of.
Aysha kept rubbing my back, "Shh. Let it all out. It will hurt less I promise." And that was what I did until my tear ducts dried out completely. Leaving me hollow and empty with a horrible ache in my heart.
But I had to leave, I needed to leave. What Ayyan did was unacceptable and certainly not right. Though he's my husband and all, but that certainly does not give him the right to insult me and my pride.
"Momma wouldn't be happy if you leave. Ayyan too wouldn't like that," I scoffed when I heard his name. Who cares what he thinks? Certainly not me. He can go to hell for all I care. But you do care.
"Please don't leave. Please." Aysha begged, she was full of hope that I would agree. Can I really crush her heart?
"I need to be alone for some time." I couldn't look them in the eye. They were certainly disappointed but nevertheless they knew it was coming.
I looked up with bloodshot eyes and stared at the people who cared for me leave the room. They were begging me with their eyes yet they didn't say anything anymore. I guess they knew what it felt like to be lied to.
They wanted me to stay, but could I really stay with someone who doesn't trust me? The foundation of any relationship was trust yet ours lacked that. Meaning that there was no basis for any relationship. At least, not anymore.
Why did he do this? Why? When everything was going so well. We had finally become close, but he had to ruin it. There was no going back. What's lost can never be found again.
It can still be found, a voice whispered. The more reasonable part of me. But I ignored it, I didn't need any advices. I'm gonna leave, I've made up my mind already.
He certainly didn't care. He showed no remorse for his actions neither did he try to apologize for lying to me. I couldn't live with him anymore.
I accepted him, I tried to make the marriage work yet all he did was try to hurt me. I was the one who tried all this time but not anymore. Yet a part of me wanted to forgive him.
His face popped up in my head. The way his multicolored eyes shine when he smiled, his dimple showing with that chiseled jaw. It amazed me how he looked a greek god. He was too handsome for his own good but I wasn't gonna fall for his charms anymore.
I was conflicted, hurt, angry yet confused at the same time. A part of me wanted to forgive him but a stronger part of me wanted to let go. Forget about everything and start over.
I can never fit into his life anyway. He's a prince and I'm a commoner. He came from the royal family while I was from an average family. He's super rich and I barely have a penny to my name. He's devilishly handsome while I have average looks. He goes out with convoys while I take the bus. He's bodyguards to protect him, I have my dad. He can have anything he wants with a snap of his fingers while I had nothing. He doesn't care about anything and I care too much about unnecessary things.
Our differences were too much. They were staring at me right in the face. We can never be together, not anymore. But opposite attracts, I remembered. Is this really fate? Are we really destined to be together? Or is leaving him my fate?
What about the promise you made to his sister, the promise you made to your parents, the promise you made to yourself? A small voice at the back of my mind whispered yet again.
'Be merciful to others and you will receive mercy. Forgive others and Allah will forgive you.'
The more forgiving part of me quoted my favorite Qur'an verse. It was that voice. The voice that I wanted to ignore so bad yet I couldn't — I chose not to.
***
It's Friday morning. Five days since I learnt the truth. Five days of torture. I decided to stay. But I wasn't gonna forgive him that easily, even if I did, I would never forget.
To forgive someone for something they had done is hard, but to forget is even harder. I possess no strength to forget anything at the moment. Heck, I don't even know if I can even forgive him talk less of forgetting.
I had successfully avoided him for the past five days except for the regular meals. It was hard but I tried. I wake up extra early and sleep early. I spend most of my time exploring the castle or chatting with my sisters in-law.
Today was no exception. I woke up extra early and got myself ready. Upon reaching outside, I smiled. It was my escape. I slowly found myself going to my favorite place. The gazebo.
It was in the middle of nowhere. The place was enchanting. With trees everywhere and flowers of all kinds, it was a dream come true for a girl who loves nature.
The sun was barely up yet I was. Staring into the flowers but not focusing on one, I couldn't help but wonder why I find it so peaceful here.
Maybe it was the feel of the morning breeze on my face or the way the sun rose up or the smell of the lovely flowers or the sound of the birds chirping in the early hours of the day. Whatever it was I knew that nature was my solace.
My knight in shining rainbows.
It helped me think a lot. It cleared my mind. Helped me find peace within myself. I would no longer allow myself to be weak. When the pain is too much, I'll leave. That, I promised myself.
Time had passed since I came here. The sun has completely risen and was shining brightly; time to go back. As much as I didn't want to go back, I had to. Mustering all the courage I could get, I stood up and stretched.
It still amazes me that I'm married to a prince. There's still so much I don't know about him. We know less to nothing about each other yet we are married. How ironical, I snorted.
I entered the main palace and asked a guard for directions to the dining area. He asked me to follow him and I did. The place was just too big, too elegant and filled with unnecessary stuff. But that's how palaces should be, right?
I met Papi there. He's feeling a lot better now. I was usually the second person to arrive, Papi's always the first.
"Good morning your majesty." I greeted him with a slight bow before sitting down.
"Good Morning Zarah. Please call me Papi like the rest do." I blushed but nodded nonetheless. It happens every time but I can't seem to stop.
"How are you feeling?" I asked him. "I'm fine, thank you for asking." I smiled. We both kept quiet, I didn't know what to say anymore. I still can't believe I'm sitting alone with a king.
At 9 o'clock sharp, everyone was present. Except Ayyan. He was the last person to enter the room. I glanced at him. He was still as handsome as ever. Dressed in sweats and a tee, he looking breathtakingly gorgeous with the shirt clinging to his perfectly sculpted body. I avoided looking at his face.
He sat down directly opposite me. I looked up and our eyes met. I found myself lost in those orbs. They were cold and blank yet were swirling. More blue than green. He was staring at me like he could see exactly what I was thinking. Slowly, I pulled away and found myself. Everyone was staring. I bet they could see the growing tension between us.
I blushed then poured myself a cup of tea and grabbed a few slices of french toast. I quietly ate my breakfast but I could feel his cold eyes on me. Looking up I glared at him. What the hell does he want? He kept glancing at me as time went by.
I had enough, "Excuse me please," I stood up and left the place. So much for having a peaceful breakfast. I wanted to go back to the one place that I've come to love in Runaria; the garden. Going inside, I grabbed my sunglasses then left again.
I found Papi on a bench outside enjoying the weather. "Your majesty," I bowed slightly. He nodded and I proceeded to my destination.
"Zarah," His voice stopped me. I turned around. "Take a walk with me." He said. His voice had so much authority and power laced to it that I could only nod. The guards behind him immediately followed him when he stood up and approached me. They were 6 of them excluding the ones placed at random places in the yard.
He dismissed them with a gesture of his hands. They all went back to their previous posts except one. He followed us but kept his distance. I guess he was the most trusted one.
"How do you find Runaria so far?"
"I-It's r-really nice here, I love it." I was quite nervous, but who wouldn't be? He's the king and my in-law. Oh God, don't let me say anything stupid. I prayed fervently.
"I'm glad then." I gave him a nervous smile. We kept walking in silence. Occasionally I glanced at him, but he was lost in thought with a gentle smile on his face.
"You know, this was my wife's favorite place too," No wonder he was smiling, he must really love his wife.
"I never knew. If I may ask your majesty, where is she? I've never seen her around," I was curious.
"She died a few years ago," Oh my God. I shouldn't have asked and now he's gonna punish me or worse hate me. I don't want my husband's grandfather to hate me. That would be a complete disaster.
"I'm so sorry for your loss your majesty, I shouldn't have asked. Please forgive me." He was still smiling, "Don't worry about it." I gave him a grateful smile then thanked him.
"You're a lot like her Zarah, she would've loved you a great deal." He was really nice. I thought kings were ruthless but he proved me wrong. "Thank you your majesty." He waved it off.
"What's your favorite flower?" This was unexpected but I answered anyways, not that I had a choice. "Foxglove." It was my favorite flower. So beautiful.
"What a unique choice. Why foxglove?" I was expecting this, people often wonder why I like foxgloves. "To me, it represents us humans. The foxglove wants to be seen, to be noticed and to be appreciated. Just like humans. It shows that you don't have to hide your beauty because you're scared or afraid. Instead you should rise and show your worth."
"You're quite in love with nature," He pointed out. "I am your majesty, nature is truly magical." By now, we had reached a place filled with flowers more than trees. I could see lilies, sunflowers, daffodils and a thousand more.
"You see, the foxglove is a special flower. It is said to both heal and hurt. A most unlikely combination. A lot of people don't admire the beauty of the foxglove because of its highly toxic nature. But let me tell you a secret Zarah, the foxglove heals more than it hurts." He's truly a wise man.
I was in deep thought when his voice brought me back, "I'll take my leave now." I looked up and realized he brought me to a place filled with foxgloves. "Thank you Papi. For everything." He smiled then nodded before leaving with his guard close by.
I looked at the beautiful arrays of foxgloves admiring their beauty before realization hit me. It wasn't about the foxglove, it was never about the foxglove. He knows I tried to leave.
***
Hey guys. I'm so sorry for the late update. Here is an extra long chapter to make up for it. 2560 words (longest chapter so far) Thank you for waiting this long.
What do you think Papi was referring to? Do you think Zarah is overreacting a bit or not? Why did she decide to stay? Comment your opinion.
This chapter is dedicated to khalifaamj Thank you for always making me smile ❤️
I hope you like the chapter. If you do, then please vote and comment.
~R❤️