(Cassandra Santiago)
A/n: double update!!!
Does anybody ever imagine themselves living in fictional books? I'm going through a hell of undeserving shit right now in real life, and really, all I want is to dive into a sweet, romantic wattpad book and hope I wake up feeling okay again.
• • •
The rest of January goes by in a blur. I've had a couple of tests I had to study for. Wayne had a boxing tornament. Drew had a few soccer games. Zac had a band camp. Ally, well, was working her ass off as usual. We were all busy with our individual routine and life had slowly became mundane. We still tried to keep our weekends free though, although it was never really a full attendance anymore.
Zac and I had sort of gone public with our 'thing'. I still didn't know what we are since we haven't put up a label yet. But ever since he kissed me in front of everyone that day, he haven't stopped showing me off. He'd still fetch me to and fro school as much as he can. The only thing Wayne asked of us was not to have sex in the same house when he's around; which we agreed to, other than the times when we discreetly do it while everyone's asleep in the middle of the nights. However, it felt good that he no longer had to sneak in and out of my bedroom now.
It's a certain Thursday when I finally get to see Zac after an entire week. He went away for his band camp, hence, we didn't get to see nor talk to each other much other than the occasional texts and FaceTime.
"God, I missed you." He opens up his arms to me as he leans against the hood of his car. I walk up to him and let him crush me to his chest, smelling him.
"I miss you too." I glance up at him, feeling his clean-shaven jaw with my fingertip.
He had come to see me as soon as he ended his band practice today and it made me happy that I was his priority. "How's your test?"
"I survived." I sigh. Today was P.E, and as much as we hope we would only have a written test, we ended up having a physical one too. "I passed the 1.5 miles run with a time of 12 minutes."
"Wow. You used to clock fifteen? Damn, that's a big improvement. So proud of you." He bends down to peck both my cheeks then my forehead.
Before we can discuss about our after-school plans, I hear someone call out his name from behind.
"Zax!"
He spins around, acknowledging her with a smile. "Hey Bex."
Becca's eyes momentarily flickers to me before they focus back on Zac. "Can I speak to you?" She pauses. "In private?"
Zac turns to me with an 'is-that-okay?' look, while I simply shrug in response. No reason to be jealous. I'm not a paranoid girl. I've learnt to trust. He's not like J. Nope.
"Sure." He answers her. "Baby, I'll be back in a sec, okay? Wait for me." He winks at me and I nod, watching him catch up to her as they chat about god knows what. Probably their band related stuff, I hope.
Sadly, an hour passed and he still isn't back. I'm not sure if what they were talking about was so urgent that he had to leave and settle it. He didn't leave me a message. I waited by his car playing games on my phone, smoked a cigeratte or two but he was still nowhere in sight. Dejected, I decide to ring up Cass to see if Carson's with her. Carson had been fetched me for a couple times this week, but today he was supposed to be hanging out with Cass and I didn't want to ruin their date.
"Hello?"
"Hi Owens. How can I help you?"
"Are you busy right now?" I ask, hoping she's not in the middle of a make-out session with him.
"Nope. We're in the car going to a drive-thru. Why? Aren't you with Zacson?"
"Oh. Um, about that..."
"Wait. You need a ride? We can come get you."
"Is-is that really okay? I mean, if you two have plans I wouldn't want to-"
"Shut up. I'm coming to get you. Where are you?"
"Still in the school parking lot. You sure it's fine?"
"Yes, dumbass. We were just planning to netflix and chill, if you know what I mean. But it's okay. Neither of us are in the mood yet. Hey, you want food? We're going through McDonald's."
———
Carson's Mercedes pulls up into the lot next to me, rolling their windows down. It's already been 1.5 hours now and Zac is still nowhere to be seen. Funny. I should've sent him a text to remind him I'm still here but I didn't. I keep telling myself that he wouldn't just ditch me for something unimportant, so he must be busy right now. He'd have a good reason. He always has.
"Need a ride?" Carson smiles at me, eating his french fries with one hand.
"Yeah. So sorry." I get up and walk towards his car. "Mind dropping me home?"
"Of course not. But then, where's my brother? His car is here?"
"Did the two of you had a fight?" Cass speaks up from the passenger seat.
"Nah. He went off with Becca." I say as I get into the back. Cass passes me the burger and fries I asked for.
"Ooooh, Becca."
"What? What are you trying to say?" Cass nudges Carson.
"Nothing." He grins widely, revealing his perfect set of teeth.
"Don't do that. You know I hate it when you say 'nothing' when there's obviously something." Cass reprimands him.
"I mean. It's just... she used to come over, that's all." He looks like he regrets telling me that. But I already knew it when their mother, Dion, told me about her impressive cheesecake.
"So you know her." Cass sits up and turns slightly towards him, ready to grill him on my behalf. I silently thank her inside, grateful that I don't have to be the one probing. "Who is she? Are they close? Have they fucked?"
"Wow wow wow." Carson puts up a single index finger. "Hold up. You're not hearing anything from me."
"Really? I'm not?" Cass taunts him. "Fine. Drop me back at dorm, then. Make an u-turn, right now!" We are already halfway to Wayne's house at this point.
"Babe..." Carson lets out a breath. "Okay, okay. Ask me. Ask me." He relents and Cass turns around to shoot me her signature grin.
"Are they exes?"
"I guess."
"What do you mean you guess?" Cass furrows her brows.
"Um. They were more like, friends with benefits."
"So they fucked."
"Mm hmm." My heart kind of dropped a little, but I block it out in time. Why am I feeling anything at all? That's in the past. Heck, I slept with other people too.
"How long? How did it start? When did it stop? Why did it stop?" Cass machine-guns a whole load of questions at him.
"One at a time." I see him roll his eyes from the rearview mirror. "It was a long time ago. They're in the same band. Zac plays the drums, Becca plays the clarinet. I don't know how it started. I swear I really don't. But he began to bring her home somewhere around end of freshman year."
"To fuck? To live?"
"I'm getting to it." He sighs, probably not that pleased to be gossiping with two girls. "They insisted they were just friends, but obviously everyone could see they were fucking friends. She did stayover sometimes and had a pretty good relationship with my mother. The whole thing really only stopped around... a year ago? Zac didn't say much, neither did I ask. We just heard that she started seeing someone, so they stopped their intimate friendship. She stopped coming over too and we no longer really brought her up."
I was trying to absorb all the information. So basically, she could sure as hell qualify as an ex-girlfriend of some sort. There's no way two people can fuck for almost three years and have no feelings for each other. The fact that they still have pet names for each other says that much.
Cass then turns back to me with a sympathetic smile. "Do you need any more?"
I shake my head. "It's fine. I've heard enough."
That night, I go home feeling a little upset. I don't even know. Maybe it's the fact that I always thought they were just platonic friends. I haven't ever asked Zac about it, but now that I know of their sexual background, it'd be weird if he were to tell me he sees her as a sister.
———
"I was thinking, let's watch a movie today." Zac suggests. It's Saturday and we are cuddling on my bed. He had sent me a text on Thursday evening saying he was sorry to ditch me. He was caught up with something, was all he said.
"Okay." I reach for my laptop that's on the desk.
"No, baby. I mean, a real movie. At the cinema."
"Really?" I grin. We haven't ever went out much. The last time the both of us went out was that time when we shopped for the Halloween party. "Like a date?"
"Like a date." He smiles. "If I knew you'd be this happy, I'd have asked you a long time ago."
I went on to take a shower, put on make-ups and choose a nice dress. God, I haven't been to the cinema in a long time and I wanted to look good for our real first date.
"What do you feel like watching today?" The both of us check out the screen that shows all the available movies and time-slots.
"Surprise me," I tell him. He goes to the ticket counter to buy the tickets while I head to the snack bar to get us drinks and popcorns.
"Ta-dah!" He waves the two tickets in front of me. "Gold class tickets. We'll get plush cushion seats." He winks. Man, this guy really spoils me.
"Your root beer." I pass him his drink, knowing that's his favourite.
"And you have Fanta grape?" He asks knowingly, smirking. "Knew it. You and your grape obsession." He leans down to kiss me on the lips.
We stroll towards the ticketing guy even though there's still fifteen minutes till the show starts. There's nothing much to do around anyway, and we already have our snacks. Might as well go try out the seats first.
Just as we settle down, his phone begins to ring. He quickly whips it out, wanting to silent it until he sees the caller ID. I sneak a peek, seeing the contact name. Becca, again.
"Hello?" Nobody's in the threatre yet, so he speaks as per normal. "Right now?" He glances at me and sighs. "Alright, alright. I'll come over."
My heart dropped. He's going to ditch me again?
"Baby," he hangs up the call and turns to me. "I'm so sorry. Becca needs my help with some stuff. I'm really, really sorry." He looks at me with eyes full of guilt and hesitation.
Well. What am I going to do now? I can make a fuss and demand that he stays, but that's not going to make me look mature about it. Besides, it isn't really his fault if it's a real emergency. It's not as if he mixed up his schedules or fucked up somewhere. No, it's not.
So I do the only thing I should do. I nod and smile at him. "It's fine. Run along."
"Are you sure? Look, I can drop you home first." He offers me.
But what's the point? We already bought tickets and snacks. Heck, we're already seated on the luxurious leather reclinable seats. Why waste it?
"No. I'll stay."
Zac sighs again, as if not knowing if he should go. "If I can make it back, I'll come back for you, okay? Call me if you need a ride." He plants a kiss on my forehead before exiting the cinema.
The movie ends two hours, two popcorn boxes later. He didn't come back. He didn't pick up my call.
I guess I'm going to get used to this.