Almost felt like a dream.
I twirled around in my floral white gown giggling all the way. I was sure it was a dream and not a nightmare, I was in the middle of sunflower field. I looked up at the bright beautiful sun in the crystal blue sky and grinned from ear to ear. It was a huge field of sunflowers and I looked like a butterfly. But I loved roses, why am I in a sunflower garden ?
"Sapphire"
I turned around and came face to face with Zee. He was wearing a white button up shirt and black pants and looked handsome. His hair was neatly combed, not like how it used to be all messy and his green eyes shone brightly. I couldn't stare at him like that so I blushed looking away and he chuckled at my behaviour.
"You look beautiful" He said for the first time and these things happen only in dreams but I didn't care. I smiled at him and said,
"You don't look so bad either".
That earned a chuckle from him and he stretched his hands in front of me to take it. My heart started beating frantically. Last time when I hadn't taken his hand I was drowned. But do I need his hand ? But this was just a silly crush and I know for sure that he doesn't feel the same. I don't want to get my heart broken in the end.
"You are still confused" he sighed.
The sunflowers one by one tilted. Black clouds started emerging out of nowhere. Then I felt his filthy hands wrap around my waist and pull me hardly on to his chest. I could feel his breath on my ears as he whispered.
"Hey baby. I'm back". When I looked up at Zee, he was glaring at the person behind. His hard eyes turned to me and said,
"This is your dream, your world and I can't do anything to stop this. You have to fight him. Only you can do this".
I nodded my head but then I winced with pain when I felt him biting on my ear. He started dragging me and then I did it. I swing my legs backwards and hit him where the sun doesn't shine. He groans in pain and falls on the ground. I ran away from him as fast as I can. I could hear his laugh.
"You can't run away from me princess".
I hit a stone and fell on the ground. My legs hurts badly and sure enough there was huge wound. I was clutching on my leg when I saw his boots right in front of me. I didn't dare to look up and then he slapped right on my face.
"Fight him sapphire !"
I pulled myself together and bite his hands. He winced with pain and at that moment I took the rod that I found lying over there. Thunder strikes and lightning fells on to the earth. I swing the rod upwards and hit him hard on to his face. The traitor was gone and there wasn't a single trace of him.
I heard someone clapping and when I turned around I saw Zee smiling and he was the one who was clapping his hands. But his soul was slowly fading away. I started walking towards him but he was far away and I want to hold his hands. I wanted to say to him that I'm no longer confused.
"You've done it Sapphire. You don't need me anymore".
Then all together his soul was gone.
"Zee !"
I shrieked and wake up with a gasp clutching onto the arm rest tightly. When I sat there I realised that I wasn't in a sunflower garden but on a couch in the hospital room. I was panting, so very slowly I rubbed my chest to calm down my beating heart. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, then slowly let it out. Again I did it for a few more times.
Oh my god.
I swiftly turned to my left and sure enough she was awake and was staring at me with a curious expression on her face. Her knees were pulled towards her chest and she had rest her chin on them, studying me overall. She was wrapped in her comforter and was waiting for me to calm down.
After school I had come down here as usual and I don't know when I started sleeping on this couch. Since Mom, Dad, my siblings, Hilma and Yahya weren't here so I thought of taking rest. When I had come here Yussa was sleeping and I thought she wouldn't know if I had a nightmare. But she did and I know that look, it means she had clearly heard what I said.
The sun was going to set soon. We could watch sunset from the window here. The room was now having an orange colour and Yussa's face was glowing in it. I ignored her and just sat there but not for long.
"Zee ?"
Here goes nothing. I looked at her innocently and gave her a questioning look.
"Who is Zee ?" She asked again and I gulped. I got up from the couch and went towards the window pretending to enjoy the view. I ignored her completely.
"Izza, I'm asking you something".
"Did you say something ? Oh you need water ? I'll get them straight away" I said in a rush and was about to open the door when she said,
"Water is right under my nose. You may sit".
The disney land.
I turned around smiling at her and quickly sat on the couch looking down.
"So-
"Don't !" I said looking down. I don't want her to ask me about him.
"Well too bad I'm gonna ask. Who is Zee ?"
I glanced at the view outside through the window. Suddenly the nightmare flashed in my mind. The way he said, 'You don't need me anymore'. I wanted him but I was so confused. What if all this, is just another stupid nightmare of mine ? Zee would never like a girl who is a total mess. He would always want a girl who is beautiful and I'm not. I have this stupid black wavy hair and I also use specs. I don't wear makeup like how Jennifer used to and I don't have a fashion sense at all. I walk like a tomboy, Zee might like girls who are like model. We both have temper problems so we don't match at all. Thats it, I'm not at all his type. He would never like me.
"Izza ?"
She called, I slowly got up from the couch and went towards her. She quickly took me in her arms bringing my back to her chest. I know I can't keep it for long and this is Yusra Khalid we are talking about and she never leaves without an answer. I took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in my throat.
"His name is Zeeshan Harris. You can call him Zedd or Zeeshan but not Zee. Okay ? Only I call him Zee" She nods her head and I know she is widely grinning at this even though I can't see her.
"So what made Zedd come into your nightmare and protect you ?"
"He didn't !" I said quickly.
"I was the one who protected myself. He just made me strong with his words" I said smiling a bit at my achievement.
"You like him. Don't you ?" I nod my head. It wasn't a question but a fact she already knows. I know by the way I called his name loudly with passion she knew I liked him.
"What are you thinking ?" she whispers into my ears, her chin on my head.
"He would never like me".
"That's what you think" she says tightening her hold on me.
"No its the truth. Like why would Zeeshan Harris, son of the great Harris, the captain of football team and the handsome guy that make girls melt down, ever like me ? That'd be like Prince Eric falling in love with the Urusula" That earns a chuckle from her. I could feel her chest vibrate in soft rhythms.
"Okay that was the worst comparison. Seriously, Prince Eric and Urusula ?" She laughs again and I joined with her.
"Its that what you think ?. That you're the Urusula ?" I kept quiet and she sighed.
"Look at me Izza" I slowly turned around in her arms and she brought her forefinger under my chin and held it up. I was met with a sad expression on her face. She looked at me as her eyes met mine.
"You are actually more beautiful than Urusula. The hell, I would say even more beautiful than Ariel".
"You're-
Of course she would cut me off abruptly. She kept both of her hands on my cheeks cupping them and said,
"Do you think I call you barbie doll for fun ? I call you barbie doll because I mean it. You see these eyes ?" She pointed at my eyes with a small smile.
"Anyone would die to get these colour of your eyes. They aren't just blue. In the middle its slightly light blue surrounded with dark blue and specs of grey. You would never know that, you're too busy to notice. And when we look into your eyes its like we are drowning in them, like drowning in the sea. Its so beautiful that you cannot resist looking at it. There are so many emotions in it. Your skin is so fair and glowing like that of vampire's, okay maybe a little bit of pimples here and there. But its so soft".
Taking my hand in hers she brought it to her cheek and felt it. I looked at her through my tear stained face chuckling a bit when she mentioned my skin as vampire's.
"Even when you wear your specs one could always notice that your eyes are special. And your hair, its wavy but soft with curls and when you dyed blue I actually liked it more. You don't need a mirror, you are beautiful. Allah has made you this much beautiful and still you say 'You aren't'. How could you ? Think of people born with acne or attacked by acid or scars on face or blind or anything that people would make sure not to look them twice. So never ever say you aren't beautiful" I nodded my head taking all her words in my brain slowly.
"And see for yourself, you are stronger than you believe. You fight your nightmare and always beat them by waking up. Even when you get bullied you never show it. You keep all these pain, sadness all bottled up so that nobody worries about it and you always care about others. You don't care what others think about you and you ignore those who talk behind your back. God ! Izza I would love to be you". She half screamed and hugged me and my lips tugged upwards. Then she looked at me and pointed a finger on my forehead and said,
"You are cool. You are beautiful. You are strong. So get that straight inside your brain".
And I did. But still I wasn't sure.
•••••••••
I was in a cafe across the hospital with hot chocolate in my hands. There were so many people inside the cafe but there was silence and that's all I need. I sipped the hot chocolate and enjoyed as I tasted the chocolate.
How can hot chocolate be so Yum ?
I was so into my hot chocolate that I didn't notice someone dragging the chair in front of me and sitting on to it. I looked up and saw Yahya with a sandwich and that too a tuna fish sandwich. Gross.
"How could you eat that ?" I asked with disgust written all over my face. He looked at me from taking a bite and grinned.
"Its tasty" he said after having a bite.
"Its gross" I said and his eyes narrowed at my drink.
"Well yours too".
"How can hot chocolate be gross ?".
"Its like drinking melted chocolate" he said.
"So ?"
"Then why do you need to drink it ? You can easily get a bar of chocolate and eat it. Why the risk of drinking melted one, then ?" He said shrugging his shoulders and I calmed my nerves at his lame reply.
"You are weird, just like my brother" I said sipping my drink.
"Duh. We are called best friends for a reason".
We were silent for sometime with him eating his gross sandwich and me sipping my tasty hot chocolate.
"Is she awake ?" He asked and I looked up to notice that he was still looking at his sandwich and I nod my head. I was sure he was asking about Yussa.
"She knows right ?" He asked again and I nod my head slowly. He sighs.
"She is confused" I replied honestly and he sighs again bringing his head to his hands.
"Why now ?" I asked the question I wanted to ask for a long time. I wanted to know whether it was out of pity. If it wasn't, then why now ? He looked up and straightens then took my hot chocolate to have a sip. Not that I mind.
"When I first saw her in high school, she was arguing with a group of boys who made fun of a hijabi girl calling her a terrorist. I saw how she clenched her fist and punched the guy's face. I realised she was a lioness. Then when I met Yousuf and was talking with him, she barged into the boys locker room and told him about her morning fight. Thats when I realised they were twins and best friends.
I was the silent one in the trio. I always thought it was just a stupid crush which will fade away. She made sure I participated in every activities cause she was that extrovert. She made me talk to every guy and girl in the school. Then slowly, slowly I changed from introvert. I won first place in debate just because of her. I would get so jealous when she talk and hug boys. That nasty morons tries to take advantage. But me and Yousuf never fights in front of her with guys, because she says 'they are friends'. Like the hell ! ". I flinched as he cursed. He noticed then recovered and sheepishly smiled.
"After she leaves we'd never forget to punch that guy. When we three got accepted into the same university we couldn't be happier and Yussa said 'We will be best friends for the rest of our life'. So I made myself sure that 'Yes its just a friendship, nothing else'. Even when we had different classes we always had time for each other. When Yussa becomes absent for days, I always missed her. During nights in my bed I think about her and it all messed up my brain. That's when I understood my crush on her was still there.
Everyday when I wake up, I would take a pledge 'Okay today I will say to her that I like her'. And everyday when she sits in front of me without Yousuf, I try to tell my feelings, but every time we would be interrupted either by Yousuf coming back or someone taking her away or she will say something else and I'll have to sit like that. This is what happens every time. But now she was sitting there and no one could take her away, so I said what I had been keeping in my heart for years".
He finishes and looks outside through the glass window. I watched the cars, the children running, girls talking and some in their phone. He sighs and looks at me.
"I'm gonna propose her".
I gulped and then nodded my head. He gets up with his unfinished gross tuna sandwich and he sheepishly smiles when he shows my finished hotchocolate. I shook my head smiling and then said,
"Just don't break her heart".
His honey brown eyes bored into mine and then he nods. He tosses his sandwich towards me and then leaves. I reluctantly took the sandwich and first smelled it. I took a bite and swallowed.
Okay maybe tuna fish sandwich is not so bad.
•••••••
I was walking through the hospital garden. I smiled at the view in front of me. A grandfather wheeled his granddaughter in a wheel chair and the little girl was laughing at something he said. She was so happy and there weren't any tears. But she didn't have legs, and if anyone see them they will frown and feel sorry for them. But I didn't, as long as they were happy I was also happy.
"Izzyyyyy !!"
I swiftly turned around and smiled widely at the little bundle coming towards me. I bent down and stretched my arms widely for him to hug. When he was in my arms I took him up and twirled him around. He was giggling all the way with me. I missed him so much.
Adam comes here often and does his routine with medicines and all. He actually survived cancer and the little boy is happy to go back to school. His mother is due for pregnancy and Adam is all jumping up and down. His mother told he can name her any name he want. Adam Frost was from a catholic family. His dad Isaac Frost had quit smoking and drinking. His mother's name was Clara and she was a music teacher and she sings so beautifully. We've all have become a family now.
Adam had his last minute checkups left after the surgery and I won't be able to see him often. He lives at the far end of Bloom Woods and I might have to travel a bit. He was just eight year old and he's already so mature. Whenever he comes after checkup he would drag me to the garden to play football. I taught him so much and he's already a master in it.
"Football ?" I asked him as he was still in my arms smiling with his eyes closed. He shook his head and said,
"Nah. Not today. Let me just hug you, its my last day".
I hugged him even harder. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a deep breath. Adam was leaving and I'm gonna miss him so much. Some days when I'm late, Yousi and Ahsan will make sure to play with him. Ahsan loved him so much. Ahsan had said, bending his back and looking down at him with adoration,
'I'm your God brother. Okay Adam ? We are God brothers'
I slowly put him down and loosened my arms on him. He opened his eyes and the blue eyes twinkled. I took his hands in mine and slowly rubbed them.
"Have you decided your sister's name ?" He grinned widely and nods his head.
"Hope. I'm gonna name her Hope Frost".
If it was just another person they would have laugh at him. But I didn't, because this eight year old boy was beyond my imagination. I smiled at him widely and hugged him harder.
Because all we need in life is a little bit hope. We always hope and hope is feeling of trust. When Adam had went through the surgery he hoped, his family hoped and even I hoped that Adam would come out with flying colours. And all because of this 'hope', he is here and smiling at me.
"Thats a wonderful name" I said while hugging him. He smiles and says,
"We are not gonna say bye, okay Izzy ? Let's just say 'see you later' ".
After hugs and kisses Adam left my hand and ran towards the car which was waiting for him. The window rolled down and he waved at me. The car pulled out from the streets and was driving to a distant. But Adam still waved his hand with tears in his eyes.
And I hoped that I will see him again.
_______________________
Greetings ladies.
I'm gonna post as fast as i can before Ramadan. Because when Ramadan starts I'll be offline and whole heartedly immersed in it. So maybe there will be one more chapter. Let's hope.
Vote and comment.