It's been days and Addison hasn't been responding to my texts and I'm starting to worry.
I try to call him but it's straight to voicemail.
"Hey! It's me Zabdiel... I just want you to know I Love You So Much"
I smile as I hang up the phone.
I get inside the school. And students are smiling at me.
It's been a rough week but I made it through.
My mom's okay.
And my mom told my dad and they're starting to handle things very well.
I stop on Addison's locker hoping to catch him.
I stand for so long waiting for him to come. But he didn't.
The bell rings and I have no choice but to go to my class.
I check my phone in case Addison respond to all my messages.
But he didn't.
~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~
The bell rings and class is over.
I walk directly to Addison's class hoping we can go together to our English class.
Students walk outside the room but there is no Addison.
Suddenly I see Jade walking along the hallway.
I smile and walk towards her.
"Have you seen Addison??" I ask.
"Oh he's absent. He's not feeling well" Jade smile.
"wait he talked to you but he can't even bother to respond to my messages??" I frown.
"No he didn't. His mom called the school. My mom told me he can't come. He won't respond to my messages either" Jade sigh.
And now I feel nervous.
What if he's self-harming again??
What if he's back to being suicidal??
"don't worry maybe he's just sick. You should go and check on him" Jade smile.
"I will... I definitely will" I smile.
I walk outside the school and directly go to my car.
I get inside and start my engine.
I'm gonna miss a class today but I don't care. I need to know if Addison is okay.
I start to drive on my way to Addison's house.
The light turns red and I have to stop.
I look right and see a flower shop.
Should I buy Addison a flower??
Of course! He needs it.
I park my car in front of the flower shop and get inside the shop.
I look around and there's a flower that catches my eyes.
This flower is pink and looks like a cherry blossom.
I grab the bouquet and walk towards the counter.
"Hi" The girl smile.
I smile back and she chuckles.
"Is this for your girlfriend?? Almond Blossom is just so perfect" She smile.
"It's for my Boyfriend" I smile.
"Oh. I'm so so sorry... But still this flower is perfect" She smile.
"How much??" I ask.
"oh! Ten dollars" She smile.
"okay" I smile at her as I hand the ten-dollar bill.
"god you're so hot. Your boyfriend must be very lucky" She smile.
"No he's not. I'm the one who's lucky" I smile.
"Really??" She smiles.
"you think I'm hot?? Wait till you meet my boyfriend" I smile as I take the bouquet and walk outside towards my car.
I get inside and put the flower on the passenger seat and start to drive.
I arrive at Addison's house and I stop right in front of his house.
I take the bouquet and get outside my car and walk towards his house.
I take a deep breath and knock the door and ring the doorbell.
There's no response at first but I ring it again the door opens.
Addison's mom is smiling at me.
"Hi Mrs. Montgomery! is Addison here??" I ask.
"yeah. But he's not feeling well. I don't know why but he won't get out of his room" Mrs. Montgomery sigh.
"Can I please talk to him??" I smile.
"yes of course dear! He's upstairs" She smile as I get inside the house.
I walk towards Addison's room and knock on the door.
"Addison?? It's me Zabdiel. Can I come in??" I sigh.
Suddenly I can hear him breathing heavily as if he's panicking.
And I hear movements from inside the room.
"Uhm. Please don't. Please uhm I'm sick"
I can't see his reaction but I can tell he's panicking. His voice is shaky like he's scared and crack of his voice is making him sound like he's going to cry.
"Addison are you okay??" I ask.
"Uhm. Y-yes uhm I'm fine"
And I may not see him but I know he's crying.
"Do you want to talk about it??" I sigh.
"leave me alone please" He continues to cry.
"Addison I just want you to know. That I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going now not ever" I sigh.
"I want to be alone" He continues to sob.
"okay if that's what you want. But I want you to know that you're not alone" I smile as I sit on the floor with my back against the door.
Suddenly I can feel the door pushing slightly as if someone is also sitting on the floor with his back against the door.
Then I can hear Addison breathing heavily. He's crying so hard.
"you know when my brother died?? I never thought I get to smile again. Everything around me is dark. It feels like I'm trap inside a dark place and I can't get out and the worst is I don't wanna get out. Until you" I smile dreamily.
"I Love You Addison. Whatever your problem is. We'll deal it together okay?? I'm here I won't go anywhere. Together we'll get through this. I promise" I smile and suddenly I can feel the door slowly open.
I dust myself up and pick up the flowers.
The door opens and Addison is standing in front of me.
He looks so stress.
I walk towards him and hug him tight.
And he continues to cry in my arms.
We pull apart and I give him the flowers.
~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~
It's already dark and we're at my favorite place.
We're at the cliff.
The city view and the city lights are as beautiful as Addison.
He stares at the city admiring the view while I admire my view staring at Addison.
"will you still love me if I hurt you??" Addison ask.
"Always" I smile.
"will you still love me even if I'm not enough" He sigh.
"Always" I smile.
I touch his cheek and smile at him.
He leans closer and I kiss him passionately.
"God how can I resist your kiss??" I smile.
"I'm sorry" He try to smile.
But then He starts to cry and it breaks my heart.
I move closer to him and wrap my arms around his shoulder pulling him closer to me.
I look at the city view and I take a deep breath.
He's not okay.
He needs me.
And no matter what I'm gonna be there for him.
He continues to cry while I keep my arms around him.
I don't know what's wrong.
And he won't tell me.
But I can't force him too.
"it's gonna be okay Addison" I sigh.
"I'm so sorry. I want to tell you. But" He takes a deep breath.
"it's okay Addison. Just tell me when you're ready okay??" I smile at him.
He falls asleep in my arms.
I rest my chin on top of his head.
"I'm here Addison. I won't go" I sigh.
~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~
He's still sleeping and I don't want him to wake up especially because he's exhausted from all the stress and the crying.
I carry him towards the house and unto his room.
I slowly and gently lay him on his bed.
I smile as I stare at him.
"How was the trip??" Mr. Montgomery smile as he's standing at the door.
"it was fine" I sigh.
"He's precious you know. Addison" He smile.
"Yeah he is" I chuckle.
I walk towards Addison's table.
I know it's wrong but I look through his things.
And I see a letter from his teachers saying that he failed Math, Science and History and that the only way to pass it is to make a 20 pages essay each subject.
"what is it??" Mr. Montgomery ask.
"Nothing" I smile.
"okay. I'll be downstairs call me you need something" He smile as he walks downstairs.
Maybe that's the reason he's so stressed out and that he feels like the world is already ending.
Failing a subject is hard. But failing three can be devastating.
I need to do something. I need to help him.
I close the door and grab all his books and paper.
And I start writing an essay.
It really breaks my heart seeing people I love hurting or struggling.
Especially Addison. Especially because he was suicidal. And he should not go through this.
My boyfriend is fragile and so precious that I want to protect him. At all cost.
I don't want him to end up like my brother.
I'm not losing another important person anymore.
I stare at Addison and now I'm inspired to do his essay.
I write and write until it's already Three in the morning.
I stop for a while and I smile as I stare at Addison and then continue writing.
I hear him snoring which is kinda cute that I chuckle.
The sun comes out and I'm already on the third subject.
I finish the essay and it's already six in the morning.
I leave the essays on the table and walk towards Addison who is still sleeping.
I smile as I stare at him.
I can't believe I just did that for him.
I hope when he reads the essay it will make him feel better.
Addison doesn't deserve any of this.
I lean forward and kiss him on the forehead.
"Te Quiero Tanto Addison Montgomery" I smile as I whisper.
I walk outside his room smiling.
I'm sleepy yes, but it's worth it.
I drive slowly and carefully because I don't want to crash on my way home.
I know I'm not supposed to drive sleepy. But I need to go home.
My parents are probably gonna kill me right now
~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~
I arrive home and slowly walk inside.
"where have you been??"
I freeze when I hear my dad's voice.
"uhm I'm at Addison's" I take a deep breath and I feel like I'm trembling.
"what are you doing there??" He asks.
"uhm Study??" I smile awkwardly.
"And do you really have to sleep there??" Dad ask.
Sleep?? Who told you I slept?? I wanna laugh so hard but I'm too nervous.
"Zabdiel??" He frowns.
"Uhm" I stare at him.
"and you didn't even tell us?? Why Addison??" He stares at me.
"because I'm scared" I insist.
"why?? He's your friend Zabdiel! I would've just allow you" He frowns.
"No he's not" I argue.
"huh??" He stares at me confused.
"He's my Boyfriend" I sigh.
"HAHA I KNEW IT!! Why wouldn't you tell me???!!" He chuckles.
"because I'm scared" I sigh.
"and what?? Deal things on your own?? Look at what happen to Samuel! I'm your dad Zabdiel! I'm supposed to be there for you. To guide you. To protect you! And how can I do that if you keep on pushing me aside?? You think I'd disown you?? Never Zabdiel!! You are my son!! And If I can turn back the time. I would have asked Samuel. But I didn't... And I don't want the same thing to happen to you" He sigh.
He walks closer to me and hug me tight.
"I can't believe you guys are scared of me when you should not be" He sigh.
"I'm sorry dad" I begin to cry.
"I Love you, son... And I'm always proud of you. I wouldn't change a thing about you. Don't go through this again without telling me okay?" Dad smile as we pull apart.
I smile and nod as I wipe my tears.
"I Love you too dad" I smile.
He smiles at me and begin to cry.
"No more secrets Dad. I promise" I smile.
He smiles and hug me back.