(I started writing this while having had a panic attack for over 10 hours and in a state of extreme exhaustion after intense overworking because I'm working on making an entire UA class of ocs for fun, I'm so fucking stupid, so sorry if this chapter is shitty. Mwah.)
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NAME KEY:
Aoyama: ~Shishtar Shparkles~
Mina: Norbert
Tsu: Licker (RE2)
Iida: TheAndroidSentByTensei
Uraraka: Gravity Don't Mean Too Much To Me
Ojirou: -lmao he dead-
Kaminari: Leon "The S stands for Sexy" Skennedy
Kirishima: RockHard™️
Kouda: Purity uwu
Satou: Candyman
Shouji: In the Arms of an Angel
Jirou: O.K. KYO
Sero: Ada Wong
Tokoyami: Fucknugget
Todoroki: Icy T H O T
Hagakure: Where'd ya come from Where'd ya go
Bakugou: Lemon Boy
Midoriya: Bone hurty juice
Shinsou: TheseEyebagsAreGucci
Yaoyorozu: Engineer
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-(1 week after 'the incident')-
"Class 1-A"
Candyman: Guys
Candyman: Does everybody know if Shinsou's eaten yet?
Where'd ya come from Where'd ya go: I just brought his food up to him and he's eating for once... slowly but he's eating.
Candyman: Has he drank anything?
Norbert: I gave him a bottle of water not too long ago. It was full.
Where'd ya come from Where'd ya go: I can see it and it's half empty.
Candyman: Good
Candyman: Now, how does he look?
Where'd ya come from Where'd ya go: He looks the same as always.. actually maybe a bit worse.
Candyman: Greeeat
Lemon Boy: Why the fuck can't he just get over him??
Candyman: Bakugou....
Candyman: Think of if Kirishima died instead. That's how he feels. Maybe even worse since he never even confessed his feelings.
Lemon Boy:
Lemon Boy: Shit
Candyman: Yeah, well, anyways...
Candyman: We really need to help him somehow... should we book him a session?
Norbert: Only if he's ok with it.
Icy T H O T: I can ask him. I'm arguably the closest with him.
Candyman: Please Do. We're all really worried. He hasn't left his room or even his bed since You-know-who passed.
Icy T H O T: Of course. As his friend, I worry. I'll do whatever I can.
Candyman: Thank you so much
Icy T H O T: My pleasure
(A/N: Broke: Iida and Momo are the parents of 1-A
Woke: Satou and Kouda are the gay dads of 1-A with Satou as the overprotective one.)
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Todoroki's POV
I'm making my way quickly down the hallway to Shinsou's dorm. He ended up getting Mineta's old room (which was disinfected, don't worry) so it was a bit far.
Once I reached his dorm room, I knocked lightly and walked in immediately. Ever since Ojirou... passed... he's been in a constant depressive state. All the lights in his room were off, he was facing the opposite direction of the door in his bed, and put both Dear Evan Hansen and Sad Boy With a Laptop on repeat continuously. It could barely be seen, but the faint glow of light from the crack in the door illuminated his tear-stained face and pillow. He was pale and thin, barely eating and drinking. I know he wanted to die. He wants to die so he can maybe just see Ojirou again.
"Shinsou, I need to talk to you."
"Hn....?" He grunted weakly, not even facing me.
"We've been talking...and... we think you could do with some therapy." I walk over quietly and sit slowly at the foot of his bed. For a split second, his face twisted into one of disdain.
"I... mean....
Ok."
I'm completely shocked. I was really expecting more of a fight, or at least a simple 'no'.
"Really? Just like that?"
"Yeah.... I don't care." He said in a raspy voice.
"Um...ok then. When would you like to go." I say and a little bit of movement happened under his covers, probably a shrug.
"Tomorrow I guess." He wipes his eyes and nose with a tissue, making an odd effort to hold his blanket over his forearms...
"Shinsou, May I see your arms?"
"No." His immediate response was.
"Shinsou."
"I said no." He said more urgently. His voice was breaking, he was probably going to breakdown and cry again.
"Shinsou, please.." I move closer to him
"No!" He scooted further up his bed.
I sigh quietly and rip the covers off of him, he shivers and presses both of his forearms into his shirt. I stand up and walk over to lean over him.
"Let me see." I say as gently as possible and kneel down to look at him.
Although still reluctant, he slowly takes his arms off of his chest. They stick to his shirt for a moment before peeling off, making him visibly wince.
I grab his arms by the wrists gently and pull them down to see the insides. They're littered with self arm scars. But they weren't clean cuts from a razor. They were jagged, messy, bloody, and raw. I look down at both of his hands. His nails and the tips of his fingers are caked with blood. I trace my fingers gently along each mark, careful to not hurt him too bad.
I look up and he looks away in shame, millions of tears silently falling from his face and further dampening his already soaked pillow.
Truthfully, I was overflowing with emotions and despair on the inside. I was worried sick about him, and this didn't help at all. He should've talked with me about this...or to someone at least. But, I managed to keep my cool composure. I remember when I used to self harm and when I told my dad about it, he scolded me and was very aggressive with his response. I couldn't be the same way with him. He's too fragile in this moment. Too vulnerable. I can't take advantage of that. I need to tell him what I wished my dad would have told me.
"Shinsou, I know you don't want to talk about this, or bring too much attention to it, but whenever you have the urge to do... this..." I look down at his arms and hold his hands in mine (no homo, all platonic). "I can tell just talking about it makes you even more uncomfortable, which makes this even worse, so just try to find a way to cope with this. You don't need to talk about it if you get scared, just find a healthy way that keeps you from doing it that still makes you happy." He looks at me with a shocked face, I only respond with a warm and understanding smile. I spilled nearly my whole heart into that, even if it was unnoticeable.
"I'll bandage them for you." I get up and grab a spool of nearby bandages, quickly unwrapping it and curling it around his arms. I softly wrap it around his arms, careful to not press too deep into his wounds, and finish quickly.
"Todoroki... I... thank you so much." He stares awestruck down at his arms. Hopefully my words actually got to him?
"Of course... now get dressed. We're going to set up an appointment for today. Put on some long sleeves if you'd like but when we get outside, roll them down so your bandages can breathe." I say while slowly walking out of his room and eventually closing the door behind me, waiting outside for him.
He comes out a little over 10 minutes later. He wore some simple black slip-ons and ripped jeans, and a sweater it was...
Sad but soft.
"Hey, would you mind helping me walk a bit? My legs are kinda.... bleh." He says while leaning against the while, smiling softly.
"Yeah, yeah. Fine." I roll my eyes but smile and drape one of his arms over my shoulder. He smells like vanilla for some reason.
While walking, we're stopped shortly by Satou.
"Kouda overheard you two so I got you some things." He smiled at us and handed us a plastic bag, I looked inside. It had bananas, oranges, 2 bottles of Poweraid... basically things to replenish Shinsou's strength.
"Thanks, Satou." I smile at him and he nods, walking off and over to where Kouda was. I quickly grab a banana and hand it to Shinsou.
"You'll need the practice."
He proceeds to hit me with said banana, I just laugh.
"Hey don't waste it!" I laugh at him and eat a slice of my newly peeled orange. He grumbles and takes a bite.
"I 'm just messing with you" I smile at him and we finally walk out of the dorm building and quickly off campus. Shinsou's eyes squint.
"Ew. Sunlight." He smiles and takes another bite of his banana.
"Wow you're so edgy."
"You are too! Shut up!"
We laugh together and I forget how much I missed seeing him smile. We walk together for an extended 20 minutes, making some banter along the way and Shinsou regained his ability to walk about 10 minutes in.
I'm checking my phone while we walk, and it turns out we've already arrived to the building. I see Shinsou tense up just slightly from the corner of my eye. I bop him on the shoulder.
"It'll be alright." I nod with a straight face and he nods back. We talk our first couple steps in.
"You can go ahead and sit down. I'll register you." I say and he nods. "Okay mom." He smirks and walks off. I only face palm momentarily before making my way up to the receptionist's desk.
"Good evening sir, how can I help you?" She looks up at me with a sweet smile.
"Hello, I'm here to make an appointment for Shinsou Hitoshi." I motion quickly to Shinsou, who was nervously tapping his feet and picking at his nails anxiously (I'm good at reading body language).
"I am aware this is short notice, but I was wondering if you had somebody who was open today that could speak with him?" I peer over to her, and as soon as I finish speaking, she begins to rapidly click clack away at her keyboard.
"As it turns out, yes, we do. One of our workers was scheduled an appointment today but it was cancelled since her client has moved. If you hurry and catch her in her office you may be able to talk her into working with you." She said everything incredibly quickly while writing down on a slip of paper just as fast. She passed me the note as soon as she finished speaking. I read it as it was passed to me.
'Dr. Sero Hanako, Room 728."
Wait... Sero? Is that Sero's mom???
"Right, thank you so much." I bow respectfully to the receptionist before speeding off towards Shinsou.
"Shinsou! You'll never guess who your therapist is." I say and place the note in his hand. He reads it quickly and his eyebrows raise just a slightly. "Well I'll be damned." Is all he says.
"Well, let's hurry and get to her before she has a chance to leave." He says and stands up, grabbing my hand and speeding down the bland hallways of the building. I look past every room and see some sort of person in the vast majority, some of the posterboards also have children's drawings as well as crayon markings on the floor. This place is odd.
My thoughts are cut short however as we reach room 728. Shinsou nervously grips his paper and shoves it into his pocket.
"I can introduce you, but you need to be in there alone." I say and he nods. I hear a sharp intake of breath come from him as his hand hovers over the door handle of the room. He almost touched it before his hand recoils and he slaps it against his chest.
"Eeeeehhhhh.... I'm nervous." He shifts around in his spot, beads of sweat already collecting on the side of his head.
"Oh come on..." I say and grip his arm carefully, immediately opening the door and pulling him inside, thankfully, we see that Dr. Sero is in the room. I look down at her as she's cleaning up her desk area.
"Uh, hello mam. This is Shinsou Hitoshi. He's here to see you because we just made an appointment today." I say and he waves stiffly at her.
"Ah. Good evening! Sorry that this place is a bit of a mess right now." She laughs quietly at herself and then looks directly to Shinsou. "Would you mind sitting down just there? also you can keep your food if you need it." She says and points to an armchair across from a coffee table and another, more comfy looking chair. Shinsou nods quickly and goes to sit, taking whatever was left in the bag with him.
"Thank you, I'll see you in a bit Shinsou." I say before beginning to walk out, only to be stopped short by Dr. Sero.
"Wait, I feel like I know you from somewhere, what's your name?" She looks over at me and says while sitting down in the chair across from Shinsou, I see now that she has the same elbows as Sero, but the gaps underneath are more like holes than the slits he has.
"I'm Todoroki Shouto. I'm in the same class as your son, and so is he." I motion over again to Shinsou and he nods. She smiles warmly at the two of us.
"Ah, I see. Well, have a nice day." She says and dismisses me. I wave slightly to her and walk out, closing the door behind me.
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Shinsou's POV
As soon as Todoroki leaves, I look up to Dr. Sero.
"So, before we get started, tell me." She folds her hands and looks me head on. "How's Sero doing?" She says with a warm expression. It makes me happy seeing the love she obviously has for him, but it's all internal.
"He's doing better in class. But he's kind of... sad right now. But I'm in no place to talk about it, so you should talk to him about it yourself." I say quietly with a somewhat pained expression on my face while biting into a banana, I see that the same sad face has now made it's way on Dr. Sero's.
"I...see. I'll talk to him about it. I didn't study child psychology for nothing." She laughed painfully.
"Now, to actually get started." She says and pulls a clipboard onto her lap, clicking a pen.
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I walk out of her room after about an hour or 2. It wasn't really productive, my secluded and quiet ass barely gave so much as a one-word answer, so we didn't get anywhere, but she was really nice and patient. Needless to say, I'm not really scared to come back. In fact maybe even a bit happy. She said she would get some special tea for me next time and a speaker so I could play whatever music I liked.
She looked back at past medical records of mine. My diagnosis was still the same as always; depression, anxiety, insomnia and ADD. But she was the first therapist to not immediately hate me and give up on me. I'm not a total lost cause, at least not to her. It made me happy and warm inside. She decided as a way to help me that I should write down all the thoughts that come to me and what happens throughout the day, so she gave me a special pen and a pretty cute notebook that had galaxy covers.
While making my way through the winding halls of of the building to the waiting area to get to Todoroki (poor thing waited the whole time in there just for me) with the journal to my side, I bump into someone. A sort of familiar someone.
While I was looking down and walking past, our shoulders bumped a little painfully. I look up and see the high school intern from the hospital. She looks at me and her face lights up.
"Oh, Hitoshi!"
"It's just Shinsou." I try to diffuse the situation. I didn't want to get her hopes up.
"Uhm... right, Shinsou. Why are you here?" She bounces on the balls of her feet. Whether she's nervous or excited I can't really tell.
"That's personal. Why are you here?" I look back to her.
"Oh, just another internship!" Geez, how many internships did this girl have?
"Ah...well I need to go so-"
"Where are you going??"
"The waiting room...to get picked up..."
"Ok! Mind if I walk with you?" She says, hope sparkling in her eyes. I didn't want to hurt her feelings.
"I guess..." I say and begin to walk with her. After a couple seconds, I take out my phone and text Todoroki.
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Private messages between
TheseEyebagsAreGucci and Icy T H OT
TheseEyebagsAreGucci: CODE RAINBOW
Icy T H O T: The hell's Code Rainbow???
TheseEyebagsAreGucci: Straight-girl-that-likes-me-and-I'm-an-awkward-gay-so-I-can't-outwardly-reject-her-so-I-need-you-to-pretend-to-be-my-boyfriend-PLEASE
Icy T H O T: Really??? Fine. You're lucky Ily
TheseEyebagsAreGucci: Ily2 no homo tho
TheseEyebagsAreGucci:
TheseEyebagsAreGucci: Todoroki you need to say no homo or else it's homo
TheseEyebagsAreGucci:
TheseEyebagsAreGucci: tODOROKI
Icy T H O T: kek
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I nearly laugh at my screen but hold it in just in time before putting away my phone both intern girl and I walk into the waiting room.
I wave quickly over to Todoroki and we walks over to us.
"Oh, is that your friend???" The girl smiles at me and I smile back nervously.
"Well, actually-"
"I'm his boyfriend." Todoroki strides up like the absolute chad he is and wraps his arm around my waist. But to top it all off, he quickly pecks my cheek which makes my cheeks heat up just slightly.
"...yep." Is all I say while I wrap my arm around his neck. The girl's face is in complete shock and I want to say sadness, but it's too masked over by how udderly dumbstruck she was.
"...ew." Is all she says before walking off in the other direction."
..
B I T C H.
As soon as she leaves, Todoroki and I's arms unwrap from around eachother and we turn around to walk out, talking about what the hell just happened.
"I can't believe a homophobe was into you!"
"That explains how she couldn't tell I was the biggest gay to walk the Earth. Also, did you really have to kiss me???"
"Hey you wanted me to pretend and I pretended." Todoroki said with an unbelievably straight face.
"Fair enough but... I'm really drained... we should head back." I say and smile tiredly at him.
"Hold on. Not yet. I want to take you to some places first. You haven't left your room in weeks and I'm going to take you out on a 'friend date'. That's a thing, right?" He looks at me curiously. I just laugh and punch his shoulder.
"Yeah, guess so. But don't be surprised if I end up passing out."
"Sure, sure."
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The day had actually been pretty....fun. We went shopping first, we had to keep our faces hidden though so people wouldn't be constantly screaming "hey it's those kids from UA!" at us. We had a pretty filling lunch at one of the small food courts. It was pretty simple but I'll be damned if I don't love me some good peasant food. Oh yeah, and while we were out we got some pretty basic stuff. Black nail polish, matching flower crowns (mine was light blue and his was red), two really cheesy matching bracelets that said "bitch" and "jerk". I wore the one that said bitch. And he got me a lavender flower pin to put in my hair when I tie it up eventually while I got him a stylish ass kimono like what Tyler Joseph wears. He may have also gotten something for Midoriya but I didn't see.
(We're gonna be the prettiest fucking kid's in school hell yeah)
...okay maybe these things weren't so basic, and we did do all of our shopping at Claire's, but shut up.
Now we're were walking back to the dorms, wearing our crowns and matching bracelets and drinking milkshakes together. We smiled and talked to eachother but... honestly, no matter how much fun we had, I was just really fuckin' tired and wanted to go home to sleep.
We slid our way back onto campus and quietly walked into the dorms. We saw Kirishima stare at us, confused and holding in a laugh. "Shhhhh. You never saw us." Todoroki whispers and we sneak past him Solid Snake style and go into our respective rooms.
As I walk into my room and lay my stuff gently down on my bedside table, I see the journal that Dr. Sero gave. I mean.... now that she gave it to me, now would be a good time to use it right?
I pick up the journal and flip to the first page and write down the entry.
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'September 1st, 1989
Dear Diary....'
(Lol jk.)
'April 7th, 2018
So I guess this is my first chapter. Should I call these chapters? It's easier so I guess so? Meh I'll call them chapters. Today was the day I got this journal so it seemed appropriate to write something today since... a lot happened. I had a complete meltdown for a week and, honestly I'm nowhere near over it, I still feel exactly the same about everything, I just compressed it for today and I honestly really want to cry right now but.. I think I'll just sleep. But at least today wasn't completely awful. Dr. Sero was really nice (unlike my other therapists for a change) and patient with me. I think I'll talk to Sero about her. I also went on a friend date with Todoroki, it cheered me up pretty good. He's a nice friend.
Okay I think I'll leave this chapter? Entry? Whatevathefuck here. Goodnight.
Sincerely,
Me
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I finish the last word all in one, messy stroke and completely black out.
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Kaminari's POV
Finally.... FINALLY! After over 2 fucking weeks of wandering aimlessly around Japan, getting money and scavenging food, I found it.
The villains had a new base that I never knew about, it was a lot farther than their last one. It took me ages to escape it... but I did... and I was homeless, disowned, and had no idea how to get back here...
But I did. And I'm so fucking happy...
But so fucking scared.
They're going to hate me...
I know it...
Just know I'll always love you, Hanta.
These are my last thoughts as I take sluggish steps onto the campus of UA.
(A/N: Todoroki and Shinsou have such best friend potential and I just-)/