Warning: References to rape and abuse. I apologize to anyone that gets offended by this.
~~~~~~
Nurse Jenson let me sleep longer. I have no idea if that's even allowed... but it happened. Maybe she forgot I was there. I actually managed to sleep. I had to. Thinking about what James said is making me very confused. And I can't even mention it to him because.... IM NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW!
I didn't get anything for lunch today. I'm waiting for Kayla to walk in. I have to talk to someone. His sister isn't my best bet but it's the only real friend I have. The only friend I'm allowed to speak to. She knows about him and I. Might as well fill her in on everything else.
"Lea." Someone speaks. "Cristian is asking for you."
That snaps me out of my thoughts. I totally forgot Cristian was in this lunch. He must have obsession problems. Hopefully, there isn't another scene today. It's bad enough, already.
"Tell him to go fuck himself." I lift my head up to look at the person speaking to me. "Is there a problem?"
"You're my problem. I told you to stay away from James and you didn't listen. Maybe this time you'll get the hint." She threatens. "Don't speak to him or I'll make your year a living hell."
I slowly stand up and face Brittany. If I have to hit her, I will. She looks too flimsy to even beat me. She doesn't know who I am. I can just as easily give her a free nose job. Although, I don't think she'd want to come back for more.
Who the hell does she think she is, anyway? She's been through a lot of years being "queen bee." She's not used to being threatened. Well, I'm here now. She's going to learn how to respect me.
"Listen, bitch. I don't care who you are. I don't care what you think you'll do to me. If you threaten me one more time," I step closer so she can read my lips. "I'll fucking kill you."
Her face falls, afraid. I smirk. She knows I'm not joking. She doesn't have to know me in order to not believe my words. She tries to quickly cover it up but I already saw her first reaction. I scared her enough. She won't want to come back and taunt me.
Brittany raises an eyebrow and looks at me up and down. She's testing my patience. Maybe she does want to see how far I can go until I pop her.
"We'll see about that." She says, then she goes back to her table.
Once Brittany gets back, Amber and Destiny start to speak to her. I'm sure Brittany is filling them in on everything that happened. I'm not afraid. I can make her year a living hell, too.
"What was that about?"
I turn around and see who it is. Kayla. I roll my eyes and sit back at my empty table.
"Drama. Petty, stupid, annoying... drama." I sigh. "I have so much to tell you."
"Spill." She smirks.
~~~~~~~
"Wow." Her eyes grow big.
"Yup. And now I have to be sneaky about my whereabouts." I shrug. "and I have to live with the fact that James might actually like me but he doesn't want anything more than what we have now."
"You know what? You should invite me to your house like we talked about. I can meet your mom!" She smiles. "I'm great with parents."
Kayla is very devious. I like it. I'm glad I have a partner in crime. I smile, agreeing.
"Definitely—-" I pause. "Wait. Not today. I need a ride back home. My mom will be at work for awhile."
"Even better! I'll ask my mom to give you a ride back home! I can text James and ask if he'd like to ride with us." Kayla nods. "Then, we can figure out whether he wants more or not."
"Wouldn't it be awkward? You know... with your mom..." I tilt my head.
I wouldn't be able to talk about what I want to talk about without her mom being there. And Kayla! That's too weird. The bell rings for next period. I'm surprised James didn't come and visit my period. It would've been the perfect time.
"It won't be. Plus, I'm your only option. Unless you want to walk home." Kayla looks over at Cristian. "Did you know that Cristian walks home everyday?"
"Fine! You're taking me home!" I answer.
I grab my bag and place it on my right shoulder.
"Good. I'll see you at the front of the school. See ya!" She smiles and walks off.
~~~~~~
The rest of my classes were a bummer but I forced myself to pay attention and do my work. I can't afford to be held back. Now that I think about it, I'm surprised that Brittany didn't say or do anything this morning in first period. Actually, maybe she did. I was just too busy putting my head down and not doing any work. I guess I'll never know.
They finally gave me my locker and combination. Thankfully, they offer locks. As of now, I'm on my way to that locker. I keep looking down at my paper and then up to the locker numbers. I think I'm close.
"Hey, busybody."
I quickly look up.
"Hey, stranger." I smile.
Play cool. Act natural. Be normal!
"It's like you became too busy to see me." He smirks.
Wait... he's acting way too normal. I thought he'd want to talk about what happened. And also, where has he been? I thought he'd be at detention but he wasn't there. I should know. I was there.
"Are... are we pretending like nothing ever happened——"
"What's this?"
He quickly takes my paper before I could finish my sentence. Should I ask again?
"Oh! This is just around the corner." He walks.
I try to keep up with him. He's walking pretty fast. I wonder what's up with him. I haven't seen him act weird yet. Is this it?
Wait... Shit! Kayla must be waiting for me.
"Here it is." He smiles.
"Ok great. I have to go. Someone... is giving me a ride." I say, awkwardly.
Should I tell him that Kayla is giving me a ride?
"Yeah, sure. I'll uh—— I'll catch you later." He stutters. "I have a ride, too."
He must be talking about Kayla. She actually asked him to ride with us! Great!
No... this is more important than a ride. I can easily walk home. James is my friend and he's acting strange. I quickly stand in front of him and raise my right eyebrow.
"What's up?" I ask.
"The sky." He chuckles.
"James, I'm serious. Where did you go? I thought you were at detention but you weren't there." I cross my arms.
He sighs as he leans against the lockers. What is he hiding from me? Whatever it is, I'd much rather have him tell the truth than lie. At least I know what's happening.
"I—— I went home." He shrugs.
"That can't be all if you're acting so weird. What happened when you went home?" I dig deeper.
"Why do you even care?" He turns to me.
Are you kidding me? I tilt my head, confused. Are we not friends? Did that one incident stop him from speaking to me? That wouldn't make sense anyway because he's the one who approached me not too long ago. If he really thought that, there's no point in trying to speak to me. If I didn't even care, up until now, he should know that I wouldn't even waste my time on him.
"Because you're one of the two friends I have in this school. I actually care and appreciate you and your feelings. Excuse me for checking if you were ok." I respond.
"I didn't mean it like that. I'm just surprised. I've brought so much shit onto you in just a matter of a week. I thought you'd stop being my friend." He says.
"I live with four brothers. Little petty drama doesn't stop me from being friends with someone." I smile. "And... rumors are rumors. As long as I know what really happened, I don't care."
We stand there for a moment, looking at eachother. You know, being something more than friends wouldn't be so bad. He defends me and he's funny. We understand eachother. He lost his mom and I lost my dad. We have something we have in common. But that's not the only thing. We each have something unique. We always have something to bring to the table. Friends or a couple, I wouldn't mind.
For a second, I swear James looks at my lips. He wants to kiss me. I shouldn't lean in. This isn't the time. If what he said at the nurse was true, this would just confuse him. He should really think about what he wants. He can't get caught up in the moment. That's all it would be. A moment. The excuse would be him apologizing and saying "sorry... I just got caught in the moment." I don't know about him, but I want this moment to be more than just a moment. I want it to be the beginning of something beautiful.
"Uh... thanks for helping me with my locker. I'll try opening it tomorrow. Like I said, my ride must be waiting." I smile, nervously. "you better fill me in on what happened tomorrow, then."
I hope he doesn't take it the wrong way. I do want to kiss him. Just not now. And... I think it would be better if we had more time to talk about this. If he hasn't mentioned what happened, it must be serious.
"Right! Yeah—— sure. I won't keep you waiting." He stands up, away from the locker. "Don't forget about me, busybody."
"I definitely won't. Don't be a stranger... stranger." I smile.
"I won't." He winks.
I uncontrollably smile as we walk our separate ways. I know my feelings. I like him. However, maybe he's just confused. I know he's still hung up on Brittany. Even if it's hard to admit, he still has feelings for her. I should wait until he's completely available.
I open the doors to get outside. I look around and see the whole front of the school completely empty. The smile quickly fades. Oh jeez, I feel horrible. I shouldn't have kept her waiting for so long. She's going to kill me tomorrow. Thankfully, it's a Friday. I'll have the whole weekend to myself. I mean, Jessica is still at the house but if I get to go outside, I'm fine.
"You." Someone catches my attention.
I turn my head and hate what I see. It's the evil triplets. I'm surprised that she's actually testing me, seeing if I'll actually hit her. I can take down these three.
"Do you really think I'm joking?" I ask. "I will end you."
"I don't need to do my dirty work. That's why I have my minions." She smirks.
She refers to them as minions? What a horrible friend.
"Amber and Destiny really shouldn't be your friend if you call them names like that." I look at them both.
"Oh, no. Not them. These are my friends. I'm talking about the guys. Specifically Cristian." She turns her head to the right and out he comes.
It's almost like they rehearsed it. I can feel my face flush. Why did they send him here? Why can't she just fight dirty and deal with her own problems?
"I wonder how you got all the boys to obey a bitch like you." I ignore Cristian.
"I give them what they want." She flips her hair.
"Something you can't even do." Amber adds.
Wow. She's selling her body for this? She's really dedicated.
"I'd rather continue what I'm doing than become the school's whore." I answer.
"According to the rumors, you already are." Destiny forces a smile.
I can tell she really didn't want to say that. I can't believe she's even trying that hard to fit in. That's not the point. What is he doing here? What do they want me to do with him? What did they tell him?
"Alright ladies, the reason why Cristian is here is because I filled him in on what you wanted to do with him. You're very scandalous, Lea." Brittany smirks. "That kind of role play is very kinky."
"What are you talking about?" I clutch the straps of my bag. "What the hell did you tell him?"
"Don't feel embarrassed. It's expected from a horny bitch.... like you." Amber says.
"Just like you asking the nurse for painkillers? But wait, it's expected from a crackhead like you." I tilt my head.
Cristian has been surprisingly quite. However, he's been looking at me the whole time. It's more of a stare. Not like Dylan. More of a predator kind of way. Please don't tell me he's planning on...
"Cristian, do it." Brittany orders.
Cristian quickly grabs my arm, tightly, and drags me around the school. I try to scream for help but he covers my mouth. My heart starts to beat quicker when the girl's laughs start to fade. That means I'm being dragged farther and farther from the school. Behind the school, there's some trees. Please don't tell me he's taking me there. What is he going to do to me? I start to kick and scream some more. He stops in his tracks, only to hit me across the face and scoop me up.
"You really get into character, don't you? Brittany told me everything. You like when guys are abusive. You like it when they touch you, aggressively. Luckily, I'm aggressive. I'm happy you chose me." He says.
I pause. He must be sick! She's filling lies into his head! Oh my god... he's going to rape me. Why would that be anyone's kink!? Why would he believe that? Adrenaline kicks in. I keep moving and kicking my legs. This can't be happening. He can't possibly be this stupid. Why would any girl ever want to get abused? This isn't right. I don't even blame him for this. I blame Brittany. I can't believe she'd do this to another female. No matter how much I hate her, I would never do this.
What kind of school is this? I refuse to believe it. I have to be in a nightmare. Wake up, Lea. WAKE UP! WHY THE HELL WONT HE DROP ME?!
"Alright, I'm going to need you to stop acting that much. It seems like I'm actually raping you." He says. "Not a turn on."
"LET ME GO! IM NOT ACTING!" I begin to cry.
He places me on the floor and quickly gets on top of me. No. He can't. I try to push him off but he easily overpowers me.
"Please, Cristian. Stop." I gasp for air.
He needs to see that I don't like this. I guess it doesn't work. He smacks me again. I'm sure that one is going to leave a mark. I start to scream for help. He's mental. He isn't okay.
"Shut up." He orders.
His voice booms into my ears. At this point, I can feel my heart beating out of my chest. This is real. My mind goes back to my dad for some reason. I remember him teaching me self defense. I specifically remember him telling me that if I'm completely trapped, look for things around me to hit the attacker. There's always something to use. I just have to think outside the box.
"Think fast. Use rocks, sticks, dirt." I can practically hear his voice.
I frantically move my hands around for rocks and sticks to shove into his face. Nothing. I scream, frustrated. He was wrong! There's nothing else I can use. My heartbeat speeds up. This is it...
"Dirt." The voice reminds me.
My eyes grow big. I dig my fingers into the soil and grab a handful. Its my only option. With both of my hands, I push the soil into his mouth.
"Lea!" He manages to say.
That makes him get off me and dig all the dirt out of his mouth. I get up with my book bag still on me. I need to hit him. He's going to try and grab me again. Once his eyes are closed, I swing my fist and connect it with his face as hard as I can. I scream in pain. I think I punched him the wrong way. I probably sprained it.
That's better than what was about to happen.
"Shit!" He screams.
That should keep him down for a solid 10 seconds. I need to use those seconds to my advantage. I make a run for it. As I run for my life, I can hear footsteps behind me. He recovered that fast? I hold my wrist close to my chest. The pain isn't really there. Probably because of all the adrenaline kicking in.
"Shit... no no.." I whine. "HELP! RAPE! HES GOING TO RAPE ME!"
I can feel my throat closing up at how scared and out of breath I am. I didn't realize how far into the woods he carried me. The footsteps grow louder. Oh my god. Oh my god. He's going to catch me. He's going to rape me.
I run faster.
"Get back here!" I can hear him yell.
Tears start streaming down. It makes my vision blurry. I try to wipe them away with my good hand but it doesn't work. The thought of what might happen is burned into my head.
Thankfully, I make it infront of the school. I stop in my tracks. I'm safe. I have to be. I'm so out of breath. I can't run anymore. Suddenly, I feel arms wrap around my body. I scream bloody murder. Partly because he touches my wrist. But also because... he caught me. He's going to drag me back.
He wraps his free hands around my throat.
"You're mine. You'll do what I say. Isn't this what you like?" He whispers in my ear.
More tears fall down my cheeks. How can he not see it? I don't want this! I fight against him. I try hitting him with all I've got. I elbow him, I kick him, I scratch him. Nothing.
"Help me!" I scream. "For god sake, please."
I can feel myself growing tired. I know he notices, too. Then, he forces his lips against mine. I cringe. He's sick. Oh my god. With both of my hands, ignoring the horrible pain in my wrist, I try pushing him away but he tries to deepen the kiss. Everytime he separated his lips to steal another kiss, I try to turn my head. His hand is perfectly fixed in the back of my neck so I can't move.
I start to realize more pain in my wrist. How hard did I hit him? I open my eyes and realize he's bleeding. Does he not care? He leans in for another one. I cringe harder as I taste some of the blood on my lips.
"HEY!" Someone's voice screams.
My heart flusters, happily. Someone is still here. They heard my screams. We both look at the figure. I can't tell who it is because of how blurry my vision is from all the tears. Cristian quickly throws me to the floor and makes a run for it. I didn't expect that. It's too late to catch my fall. Even if I tried, I'd land on my bad hand. I'd probably break it. Suddenly, the side of my head connects to the concrete floor.
I close my eyes, unconscious.