Big Brothers

Better

"Okay, when I said I'd help with homework, I didn't mean I'd do it for you." Jason says.

To not worry my family anymore, I went back home. Kayla and I never got to talk alone and honestly, I think she needs her space.

James and I agreed to keep what we have lowkey. Too much is happening all at once. News like this would just make things complicated.

After a bit of talking with my brothers, I was able to calm them down for at least the night. Jason chose to help out with school work and watch over me tonight. Make sure I actually sleep...

"Fine, fine." I roll my eyes and sit on my bedroom floor with him.

He hands me some sheets of paper and I grab an extra pencil from my bag. We've been at it for an hour and a half. Or at least he has.

"You scared us today." He says as he answers my science questions.

I'm sure I did...

"I know. I was scared, too." I push my hair behind my ear.

"Mom still doesn't know. We're debating whether or not to tell her." Jason says.

I can't keep secrets from her anymore. She's probably still processing the main reason we're in this situation. I can't put her through that again. She doesn't deserve it.

"I'll tell her." I nod my head. "I don't know when, but I'll tell her."

I set down my half written work and move on to something else. It's crazy how we even got to this point. How fast life fell apart. I wish we could rewind just for a moment. Go back to the beginning.

"How are you?" Jason asks.

"Very... frustrated." I try to sum it up.

"We're gonna fix this. I promise." He nods.

"I won't do anything reckless anymore. Kayla was right." I sigh.

I can't keep making choices out of no where and expect people to come along with me. Soon enough, I'll be alone. People will end up leaving because of my poor choices. I have to be better than that.

"Good." He chuckles.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
School bell rings

I'm at lunch now. Jason helped with a lot of my work. He also stayed a bit in my room to make sure I slept. It helped. It gave me a sense of security. Anyway, most of the work I completed was turned in today. All the other ones, I asked for a bit more time. They understood.

Today I chose to eat a small bowl of Mac & Cheese with a bottle of water. I'm slowly losing my appetite in school which is fine. I eat better food at home anyway. Now, I'm sitting in the same place I sat in when I talked to Kayla and James. Where I cried...

I'm surprised they've stayed this long. They've only known me for some months. Can't believe I got lucky with them. I just noticed, too, that all we talk about is me. I never took the time to ask about them... they never complained but still. I should ask.

"Hey." She sits next to me.

"Are you serious? Hey?" I tilt my head towards her. "We're not friends, Destiny."

"I- I know." She says.

"So what makes you think you can just sit next to me?" I snap.

Even if I feel like I'm in a never ending loop, I can't let her or any of her friends see I'm completely losing it.   I have to keep my guard up and never give them even the slightest bit of satisfaction.

"I wanted to see if you were... okay." She says.

"Okay? OKAY? Your—" I lower my voice. "Your friends sent some mentally disturbed... person... to me because I wouldn't stop talking to a boy. Which by the way, doesn't like either of you."

"Yeah... I got that." She sighs. "I'm so sorry."

"Stop with your apologies. You still hang out with them. You're literally their puppet." I scoff. "And I don't have time for it."

She curls her hair to the back of her right ear. I almost feel bad for her. But I'd only listen to her if she was being genuine. By her still talking to them... still letting them control her. I can only imagine that this is one of Brittany's many plans for my hell year.

"Cristian is dangerous." She says.

"Ohhh really??" I sarcastically respond.

Why is she still sitting here? There's no way she came here just to tell me that.

"He did the same to me." She says. "It's why I hang out with them."

My face instantly drops. "What?"

"You're lucky you made it out." I can see her eyes water.

Is this why she acted like that with James? Did they blackmail her?

"Oh my gosh." I slowly turn to her.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She snaps back to reality, noticing we're in lunch. "I have to go."

"Wait- I um... I'd like to hear your story.." I quickly say.

I can't be left with my own conclusions.

"Maybe another time."

And with that, she rushes towards her main spot in the lunch table. No ones there yet. She came earlier than the rest of them. Right now, I'd be sharing this with Kayla but from the looks of it, she didn't come to school today. Luckily, it's Friday.

Maybe after school I can have James take me to see her.

"Hey, busybody." He sits beside me, perfect timing.

"Hi, stranger." I smile.

Right now, I'd kiss him.

We can't.

That's the hard part about being together during this time. I warned him so I hope it doesn't bother him in the long run...

"How you feeling?" He pops a nugget in his mouth.

"I'm..." I can't tell him what Destiny just said. "Good."

This time... saying "I'm good"... I'm actually being genuine. Being with him makes me feel good. We continue for the next 10 minutes just talking about anything but me. I finally feel like we're getting to know eachother on a different level. I think it's time I should tell him more about myself. About dad, more about my brothers, my mom, my life before Miami.

"We should do something this weekend." He offers.

"Is it a date?" I raise an eyebrow.

"That's a very good question." He smirks.

I playfully shove him and laugh. If it's a date, I definitely need mom to help me out.

"Yes, it's a date." He says.

I smile, instantly. A chance to be alone with James and away from my house? Sign me up!

"What do I wear?" I ask.

"Something casual." He answers as he pops an apple slice in his mouth.