-Three and a half weeks later-
Two-hundred and six missed calls. One-hundred and sixty-eight text messages. Fifty-four voice mails.
People think I don't see their calls or texts. I see them though. I watch my phone ring, I view every notification. I count the voice mails and imagine what they say.
Hey Dakota, just checking up on you. Haven't seen or heard from you in a while. Call me.
I knew they were all along the lines of those exact words. I've never been this unmotivated in my life. I've gotten out of bed to use the bathroom and grab water every once in a while. I haven't been to school. I've talked to Charlie, my dad and mom maybe a few times after I got the news. I've talked to my mom more than anybody, though.
I've never felt my heart sink and shatter. I've never felt like a hole in my chest this huge. I've never felt more miserable and upset. I've had to turn my pillow over once a day because it would be soaked with my salty ocean tears.
I've got the worst breakout on my skin, from staying in this room and not taking care of myself. My hair is knotted and my breath reeks. I smell. But I don't care. At all. Not even one bit of me cares enough to get up and shower.
I looked at my phone again for the time and date.
It's Friday, 2:30 PM.
I decided that I need to pee and got up, lifting my stinky sheets off of my body. I took my time getting to the bathroom, if I hurried I felt as if I was going to pass out.
My face was covered in pimples and zits, I didn't even realize my hair was this bad. I look like a mess. I know I do. But oh well.
A knock on the bathroom door interrupted my thoughts, "Dakota? Sweetheart?" It was my mom.
It took a lot for me to get out a simple, "yeah?"
"Somebody is here to check on you," she told me.
I opened the door and saw my mom standing there, a smile on her face. I assumed Shelly was here.
I walked downstairs and didn't see Shelly. Instead it was...Austin? How..? What did he say to have permission in the house?
I looked at him dead in the eye, I've never seen him so shocked. His eyes fell down my body and he covered his mouth with his hand. "Dakota..how could you.. Why aren't you at school?"
I have so many questions myself for him.
"I'm going to go drop off Charlie at Luke's house, I'll see you two when I come home. I love you," my mom kisses my forehead and hugged my tightly. I couldn't hug back any tighter, my strength has suddenly disappeared.
"Where's..dad?"
She grabbed her purse before speaking. "He's working. I'll see you in fifteen," that was all she told me before shutting the front door. I heard her car engine roar and she zoomed off.
"What did you tell my mom to be able to get in here?" I asked Austin.
He sat down on the living rooms couch and took my hand with him. "I told her I was your teacher. And that I was very concerned, that it would be very appreciated if I could talk to you about your missing assignments. And catch you up, all of that type of stuff."
I stared blankly. "And she was okay with that?"
"I mean..I'm here with you alone aren't I? She didn't seem to really care too much, Dakota. At this point she probably doesn't care who talks to you, as long as somebody's getting you to talk to them. Dakota, whats going on?" He asked.
I dropped my head, and stared at our hands that were in my lap. "My mom has five to nine months left. Now probably around four to eight months left..."
Fuck. More tears. More salty tears.
He wrapped his strong arms around me and I was brought into his warm chest. This is what I needed. This is exactly it.
"Oh my... Dakota I'm so sorry to hear. This is why you've been absent for so long? Even Shelly asked me where you were at and if I had heard from you. Which was weird," he explained. Fuck. Shelly really asked him? That's an obvious hint to him that she knows. For fucks sake. She doesn't actually know, I never confirmed it for her. But she assumes. She assumes right though...
"Yeah I just don't feel like interacting with other people. Needed some me time to think and process things. What did you say when she asked you..."
"I said that I hadn't heard from you. No emails about assignments or anything. She just nodded her head and continued on with her days," he told me. He kissed my forehead before speaking again. "Please come back. Come back to school. Everybody knows you're not there and they're worried. I'm worried. Don't isolate yourself in your bedroom anymore, Dakota. Look at yourself. You've lost weight."
I wiped some tears off, "I know. I know. I'll come back. I will."
"And answer all of your calls. Text Shelly. Let her know you're okay. Please?"
I nodded my head in agreement. My moms car was quick to pull up and I heard the door being unlocked. When she came in we moved apart a bit and my mom sat across from us in the couch chair.
"So...that truck out there is yours?" She asked Austin.
"Yes ma'am, it is," he replied politely.
My mom hummed. Oh no.. "Well. Huh. I saw that same exact truck pull out of our drive way one day. Was that you?"
"Uh. Umm- yes. Yes that was me. I was just-" he was cut off.
"You two need to listen up. If you guys have something going on, tell me. I'm not going to be mad. I just want the truth. I'm not going to force you guys to not be together, but if you are together I need to know. Id rather you tell me than me find out by adding missing pieces to the puzzle I've already got going," she said. She was right. Her voice was kind when she spoke. She wasn't angry at all, she was calm.
"Mom...what about dad?"
I glanced at Austin and he looked even more shocked than he did when he saw me.
"Dad won't care. He just wants truth as do I. Just tell me. And I'll talk to dad," she reassured me.
"Yeah we have a thing. Going on. Sorta," I said in a cracked voice.
Austin stepped in. "We've been seeing each other for a little while now. I've dropped her off after school when her car was being fixed. That's when you saw me leave."
My mom had a huge grin on her face. "I'm happy. That's all I needed to hear. Dakota, why didn't you just tell me?"
"Because he's my teacher. You guys would flip the hell out!"
"Come on, you know I would never. I want happiness for you. For the both of you. Whatever makes you guys happy is fine by me. Love is love," she said. She stood up, "I'm going to go get some rest. It was nice meeting you..."
"Austin. Call me Austin. Please," he gave my mom a hug and she patted his back lightly.
"Come over for dinner some time, don't be shy. I'll talk to your father, Dakota. Don't worry. He'll be accepting," once again reassuring me. She headed for her bedroom and I turned to Austin.
"That was fucking crazy. I would never expect that from her," I said.
"Honestly, I didn't think today was going to be the day for that to happen. Hey at least she's okay with it. You know?"
"Yeah," I sighed.