I fucking love this song and mamamoo so much but can I say Wheein makes me so much gayer I fucking love herrrr ahhhhh! Also yesterday got to hang out with my girlfriend and it was amazing I love her so much! I hope you all love this chapter!
*Trigger warning* Intense chapter ahead
*Jisungs POV*
I woke up and I couldnt get out of bed. It was as if I was just stuck and I couldnt move at all. It was almost like sleep paralysis but instead I knew I wasnt hallucinating anything.
As I began to get more aware and not so sleepy anymore I felt this dull throb everywhere in my body becoming more and more painful every moment. In a few minutes it felt as if I have walked in lava. My clock kept ringing and ringing for me to get up, I barely had enough energy to turn it off. 'No school for me today' I think before my mind had enough of this pain and put me out of the misery by allowing me to sleep for once.
*Minho POV*
I physically couldnt have gotten out of my bed. All my limbs felt of lead and I felt as if I was half frozen. I wasnt physically, emotionally, or mentally ready for school.
My mind flashed of images and memories of the past that brought a feeling of nostalgia to me. Minutes turned to hours and all I did was sit there as my thoughts slowly became darker. I saw my last moments with the Woman and Man before all hell broke loose. I felt tears slowly at first falling down my face. I couldnt stop my train of my thoughts all i can do is watch it play again and again showing me that maybe if i wasnt a burden to them at the time and begged them to come to the park they may be alive..... Everything about that incident connected back to me, I was the one who ineviatbly led them to their death.
Those thoughts were swirling around my mind making me feel guiltier and the tears came in faster and faster streams. I choke on my sobs barely able to breath. All the sobs and tears shook through my body, my hands trembling I tried wiping the tears away but more replaced in there spots.
I could have stopped everything from happening I could have done anything but running away..... I was a wimp and my mistakes costed people their lives..... I am a pathetic person but why me and my family..... It was selfish of me but I wished it upon any other family but mine I am tired of these thoughts.... I am tired of this life.... Even after 10 years I can feel better the pain hasnt left me.... I prefer any pain but this.... But I promised Chan I would never do it again... Its the only thing that will help me right now give me another pain that is more comforting in a sense....
I had enough energy to pull a certain black box from under my bed and walk to the bathroom and close the door. Sitting on the toilet I marvel at the box that was in my hands. It doesnt look like much but you could say we have quite a bit of history together. I took a deep breath and tears still running down my face so fast that my vision was blurry. As I opened the box I thought, 'This promise was meant to be broken....' I marveled at the small silver object that may look like nothing but its something so destructive it kills thousands and thousands. At this point I considered myself an artist, one who can wield this tool. I look down at my thighs seeing the fading lines of my past drawings.
Delicatly with artist presision I grab the silver tool and lightly apply pressure and mindlessly painted my thighs once again. Thin lines spread out across my thighs, they turned a light red colour and not satisfied with it all barely feeling an pain, I applied more and more pressure. The lines that I made turned a darker colour and dripped down my thigh hitting the floor with a light tap. More and more I couldnt stop myself and it did its job, it distracted myself from my thoughts and gave me a familiar almost comforting pain.
My vision started blurring along the sides and I knew i should stop but I couldnt, i only released some of the pressure and gradually the lines were thinner and the flow of blood was slowing down. I didnt know how much time passed but I grew weaker every second and I fell off the toilet dropping into my own puddle of blood that was growing around me. I became distant with the world I couldnt even hear the loud thumping coming up the stairs, nor did I care. I was numb and my throat began itching I was thirsty for water and my brain was spinning I was dizzy. Slowly I fell into unconciousness and I collapsed, 'maybe I can meet the man and woman again, maybe we can be the family we always planned to be.' with that as my last concious thought i smiled as I closed my eyes blacking out.
Hope yall like this chapter and give me advise to fix it.
Happy one year with stray kids!!!