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Chapter Twenty Five
“Rose?” I stared into his green eyes. They were full of concern, full of warmth that it hurt to look in them. I didn’t want to see it. I couldn’t take it. I knew this would happen, I knew that if I got close, if I let my barriers down he would sneak his way into my heart. Intentionally or unintentionally, it didn’t matter. What did matter was that I knew I was going to lose somebody and I just couldn’t and wouldn’t let that happen.
This was my mess and I was going to clean it up without the help of the rest. I didn’t need them to get involved. I love the guys too much to ever risk them from getting any serious injury or worse. I shuddered at the thought of ever losing one of my boys.
I shook my head and smiled up at Drake. It was forced and it killed me to be fake with my emotions but I had no other option. If something was to ever happen to him because of me, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself…ever.
“I’m going to head home now, thank you for having us over,” I rushed out, getting up quickly from his lap and speed walking around the table and towards the door to the living room. He hadn’t even blinked his eyes before he seemed to understand what I said.
“Come on Tommy, it’s time to go,” I grabbed his hand before he could even nod, pulling him up and practically dragging him to the front door, not before giving a hurried kiss on the cheek to Ana. I knew Cathy had gone out to overlook the coffee shop so I didn’t have to worry about saying goodbye to her since she would be back late.
I saw Tommy open his mouth, most probably to protest about my shoving but I gave him one of my severe stern look and he knew to keep his mouth shut. I never use that look, ever but desperate times call for desperate measures. If I stayed here any longer, Drake will get it out of me. I couldn’t tell him, there were eyes on us, they could hear us and I knew now, I had no choice but to be careful around him.
My hand was on the door handle, halfway down to fully pushing it downwards to open it until I saw Drake’s hand wrap around my wrist. His grip was tight but not hurtful when he saw I didn’t move my hand away from the handle.
“What’s going on Rose?” his voice was… worried.
“Nothing, I just really need to get home and yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe or like some other time if you want, like its not necessary to see each other everyday now is it? I mean I might get sick of you and like who hangs around together all the time and…” I stopped when Drake’s hand pulled away from my wrist as if I had electrocuted him. I bit down on my tongue as I lied through my teeth. I was rambling and a lot of bull crap was coming out of my mouth.
“What?” his voice was barely above a whisper. It was so hollow and empty that something ached in my heart. I was being stupid, I was acting like one of those girls who don’t say anything yet end up ruining it in the end till the guy saves the day but that’s the thing, I always work my way out of these things… alone.
That’s how I lived my life now, solo.
“Drak-“
“Your asking if I want to see you? Your sick of me?” he looked at me as if I was a stranger, as if he didn’t know me.
I looked up at him while Tommy stayed silent, looking down at his shoes.
“No Drak-“
“Fuck. I’m such a twat,” he slammed his fist to the side of the wall and I flinched, looking down at Tommy to see his eyes still downcast. I put my hand on his shoulder and gave him a look that told him to get in the living room. He didn’t waste any time before speed walking his way back to Ana.
“Wha-“
“I’m so fucking stupid. Shit, I should have seen it coming,” he shook his head roughly and I then noticed the blood on his knuckles. He never looked at me, avoiding eye contact with me.
“Do you know what’s so fucking hilarious? He asked. I didn’t have the chance to reply before he explained anyway. “I’ll tell you, its so fucking funny how I actually thought that maybe, just maybe you could have possibly liked me back as much as I liked you. Shit Rose, you really know how to play the role don’t you? Why the fuck would you want to be with a poor person who’s in a fucking gang? I questioned that everyday and now here I find out that it really was too good to be true. If only you could have done this sooner, if only you didn’t walk into my life.”
My bottom lip trembled as I tried to control the tears that had gathered in my eyes. I could hardly see him but it wasn’t a bad thing, the coldness in his eyes had me freeze to ice.
“Shut up Drake,” I mumbled.
“What?” his voice was just incredulous.
“I said shut the fuck up!” I screamed as I walked straight up to him, slamming him into the wall by the shirt. He looked down at me in shock before his eyes emptied, once again blocking me out.
I had a handful of his shirt in each hand making sure I pressed my body flush against his. My face was now mere inches away from his as our noses touched as I made him look right into my eyes. I watched as he narrowed his eyes, opening his mouth to no doubt shout at me but he didn’t get a chance to utter a word before I smashed my lips to his.
He didn’t respond for a few seconds but as I pressed my lips harder to his, he ran his hand down the side of my body hurriedly to lift me. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he rested his hands on my lower back. His arms were strong and secure, caging around me protectively. He turned us around, our lips not once parting for a breaths air as he pushed me against the wall.
I had so many words to say, so many explanations to give him but it wouldn’t convey as much as this kiss would so I gave it my all. Tilting my head to the side, I ran my tongue along the bottom of his lip. He easily gave me entrance as we fought for dominance. I wouldn’t give up so he groaned, a sexy throaty moan mixing with it as I took control of the kiss. I wanted to prove that he wasn’t just any guy to me. I wanted to show to him that he was the guy.
My hands tangled themselves into his soft hair, tugging gently as I moaned. I felt a blush creep its way to my cheeks as I realised how loud I was and when I felt his smirk against my lips I knew he was thinking the same. I untangled my hands from his hair, running them down his toned chest and then holding onto his shoulders.
We both breathed in a lungful of air and if it wasn’t for Drakes hold on me, I knew I would have buckled from the knees from the passion that had my lips swollen. But even after the longest kiss that would have made the world record, I couldn’t stop myself from pressing small butterfly kisses across his chiselled jaw. He set me back on the ground gently but never moved away as I kissed down the side of his neck. I looked at him biting down on his lip as if holding himself back. I smirked against his skin just as he did. Then as I placed my lips softly onto his Adams apple, he groaned deeply and I smiled pulling back.
His eyes were dark from lust and looking at his swollen lips, I knew he was trying to get his thoughts back just as I was. I frowned when I saw his face fall as if reality was crashing back so before he could say anything I spoke up, “I didn’t mean it.”
I had to stand on my tiptoes and whisper it in his ear. He shook his head as if not believing me but I wasn’t done. So I placed my hand on his shoulders and looked him straight in the eye sternly. I let all the barriers fall, I let him see the real me fully. My usual emotionless eyes showed the honesty and fear both.
“You need to understand this Drake,” I rushed, looking around at the windows. The blinds were shut and the curtains were drawn but I was still apprehensive. He saw me staring around his house in confusion.
“What? Your not making any sense Rose. I thought you didn’t want to be with me,” he couldn’t help the growl that left his lips at the end but I didn’t mind. It just showed that he didn’t want that to happen and with that thought, I felt more confident in our relationship.
“They’re here Drake, they’re watching us now,” I was so close to him, my voice quieter than a whisper as I stared into his eyes that looked wary. “He called Drake, he called me and he threatened to kill Tommy. Please Drake, what I said, I freaked. I don’t want you getting hurt too. I can’t let that happen okay? I can’t lose anyone else. I just can’t go through that again. I cant and right now they’re outside. They know were here together but I cant let them do anything to you. I don’t want things happening to you because of me. I’m sorry Drake but every word I said before was such bullshit that I’m actually surprised you didn’t say your line.”
“What line?” he whispered back, his eyes more alert on everything.
“You can’t lie to me Rosie, you’re awful at it,” I smiled, remembering all the times he said that to me when I lied. Surprisingly, he was the only one who knew when I wasn’t speaking the truth.
He smiled but his eyes were sad.
“A part of me knew you were lying but Rose, you’re amazing. So when you said you didn’t want to be with me, I was just waiting for the day you would leave me, I was expecting it because it was too good to be true so I chose to ignore my guts feeling and instead thought with my head. I’m sorry for what I said, it’s just…” he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous habit.
“Just what?” I asked curiously.
“It’s just that I’ve never had a girlfriend and with you being my first, I thought I screwed it up and I guess I just didn’t expect it to hurt as much as it did,” his voice was so quiet and soft. My face fell as the guilt slowly started to consume me. A small lump formed in my throat making it difficult to speak as I held back the tears.
“I-“
“No. Don’t say sorry Rosie. It’s okay, I understand, you did that to protect the ones you love,” his hand cupped my cheek lightly and then let it drop to his side as quick as it came.
“Love?” I whispered.
“Yeah, your brother,” he quickly rushed. I blinked at his sudden explanation and then frowned. When would I tell him? Could he possibly at some point ever love me back?
I shook my head from my thoughts and shrugged.
“Oh, yeah Tommy…” I trailed off, looking at him blankly. I saw something flicker in his eyes, a little indecision in his expression before he sighed and looked back into my grey ones.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
“I-“
“You were going to do it on your own wasn’t you?” he growled out loud.
“That’s none of your business,” I crossed my arms defensively.
“The hell it is! You will not be getting into this shit by yourself Rosie. Don’t even fucking think for a second your alone in this alright?” he scowled at me.
I rolled my eyes and walked away, ready to get Tommy because it really was getting late. He had school tomorrow and so did I. I told him to get his things and meet me at the front door. I waved at Annabelle and walked back to Drake who had an unimpressed look written across his features.
“Look don’t worry about me alright? Everything will be okay,” I reassured him. His eyes widened in disbelief, looking at me as if I was crazy.
“Have you gone mad? Did I kiss you that hard that you lost your brain cells?” he gave me an incredulous look.
“Well that kiss was pretty damn hot…” I trailed of with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood. He cracked a smile and nodded in agreement but then frowned at me accusingly as if he realised I was changing the subject.
“We’re discussing this tomorrow. Actually, we’re going out tomorrow. You, and me it’ll be a date,” he finalised.
“Um…” I started unsure. I had to figure out a plan. There was no way I could waste anymore time. Like the bastard said, time was ticking. I looked into Drake’s hopeful eyes and I just knew that tomorrow was going to start a whole new drama.
Of course life didn’t think me losing my dad was enough, alongside losing my mum.
Fate could be cruel but it gave me Drake so I smiled up at him.
“Sure, clean your hand up too, its cut up,” I reached out and gave him a brief hug, pecking him on the cheek as he nodded his head.
I grabbed Tommy’s hand once Drake gave him one of those fist pump things. My heart warmed when he ruffled my little brothers hair saying, “See you later little man.”
Tommy’s laugh was still ringing in my ears as I started the engine. I reversed out Drakes driveway and didn’t stop. Even when I saw a pair of dark blue eyes stare into my own, before walking with other men flanking his side.
I was safe for now.
Drake and Tommy?
Not so much.
I was still going to go in this solo. I was going to protect them and I’m going to kick some ass even if I die hard trying. I promised myself that I’m going to make it clear that these people were messing with the wrong girl.
My brain was working faster than a computer as I turned the lock to my house and let Tommy and myself inside, I smiled down at his half closed eyes. He was yawning cutely and suddenly my heart hardened, my walls were back up and I knew if something happened to him, I’d never forgive myself. I walked up the stairs towards his room and made sure to tuck him in with a little bedtime story. He knocked out in seconds and as I gently pulled the covers over him, I kissed him softly on the forehead.
He was so innocent. He couldn’t get involved in this mess. Not my little baby brother. I was going to make sure he grew up without ever feeling the loss of his parents; I was going to make his childhood as normal as it can be.
I rushed to my bedroom and walked towards the window. I opened the blinds slightly and sighed deeply. Nothing but darkness stared back at me. It consumed me as I forgot to switch my bedroom light on. Yet I didn’t feel bothered, I didn’t care about what could be in the dark.
Everything apart of me was going hard. I was locking my emotions up and the walls around my heart were back up. I stood there, by the window for what felt like hours as I made myself understand that satisfaction is not what I was going to give my father’s murderer.
My feet dragged across the carpet as I collapsed down onto my bed in exhaustion. Tomorrow I was going on a date, a date where the start of my plan was going to occur because I knew they would all be there.
Watching.
Hearing.
But would they be watching an act? Would they be hearing wrong?
I smirked as a plan formed in my head.
Then as I was about to fall asleep my phone beeped. I picked it up with a frown, my eyes adjusting to the brightly lit screen before opening the text.
‘I’m sorry again Rosie.’
A soft smile spread across my lips as I read the text Drake sent me.
‘Don’t be. I’ll see you tomorrow Bad Boy, I believe we have a date xx’ I quickly sent the text and waited like an impatient love struck girl for his reply.
Not even a minute had passed before he replied back. I pressed the button to read it so hard I’m surprised it didn’t break all together.
‘We need to talk about this whole nickname thing, I mean seriously, bad boy? I thought you would have been more original. Baby, you believe correctly but I’ll be seeing you in school too xx’
I bit the inside of my cheeks to stop from squealing. I liked it when he called me baby, it was more intimate then babe. The fact that he made it clear that he wanted to see me in school had me warming up.
‘Shush, you like it when I call you that. Can’t get enough of me hey? If I must, I’ll see you in school! Now go to sleep Bad Boy, your Rosie is tired xx’
I hovered over the send button, I kept rethinking for a whole minute whether to change the ‘your Rosie’ bit but it sounded so right, so before I could chicken out I pressed the send button with one eye open.
‘Sent’ flashed on the screen before disappearing.
Five whole minutes. Five whole freaking minutes had passed before he had texted back. I was freaking out that whole time, thinking I’ve finally ruined it.
‘You caught me. You know I could never get enough of you, I worry one day you’ll get tired of me. But I’ll let you get your sleep for one thing, I want you to say that to me, face to face tomorrow xx’
My heart was going to jump out of my chest. I just know it, the beating of my heart increased to a level that should resort to death as I read his text. Did he know how he was making me feel? Did he know how much his words meant?
‘I’ll never get tired of you Drake. And say what? Xx’
I paused, looking into the darkness before opening the text which came a few seconds later.
‘The ‘your Rosie’ bit. Sweet dreams baby xx’
I blushed.
I knew I shouldn’t have written that. Now he wanted me to say it to him tomorrow. Great, how was I supposed to say it and go ahead with my plan?
‘Don’t let the bed bugs bite xx’
I finished off the sentence and sent it. Closing my eyes, I sighed, knowing tomorrow was going to be a very eventful day. There were so many things to do, such little time.
Tick Tock.
They were two words that kept ringing in my ears continuously since the phone call.
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