Chapter Eighteen

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So I was supposed to upload this earlier but my internet crashed down. So thanks for waiting patiently :)

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 Chapter Eighteen

I sat still, my ears disbelieving as her voice echoed through the house.

I waited, thinking maybe my mind was playing tricks on me but then I heard a clatter from the kitchen and I didn’t hesitate to jump out of my room and run down the stairs, my hands pushing open the kitchen door with a bang, my breathing coming and going fast.

“Not...so...loud,” my mother’s back was facing towards me and her voice was slurred.

My eyebrows furrowed into a frown as she opened the draws in the kitchen, looking through each of them until she turned around gave me a drowsy grin and popped two tablets into her mouth, washing it down with water. Then she dragged her feet past me, into the living room, her body swaying from side to side as if she was going to fall any second and then she slumped down onto the sofa, resting her feet on the table after struggling to take her shoes off.

I stared at my mother’s slim figure, tall and slender, laid across the couch. Her grey eyes reminding me where I inherited mine from but they were glazed over. Her dark brown hair was set in a loose bun, a few loose strands framing her small face messily. Her thin lips, turned down in a grimace as I stared at the woman I thought I knew. “You’re drunk.”

My voice was hard.

She narrowed her eyes at me in distaste. “Is that a problem?”

I looked at the woman before me. No love to share whatsoever, just a cold, disgusted look directed at me. The way she looked at me, as if she would rather bury herself in mud and stay there. Her drunken state made it worse. She didn’t care; she didn’t know how much I’ve been through. She had no idea how I’ve just been surviving on bread, how the money I’ve saved for university has been lessening each day. How everyday I come up for excuses to both Nana and Tommy just for her.

I was losing grip. I couldn’t hold this family together if she didn’t want to be a family. I stared into her dark and emotionless grey eyes, wondering where the warm light vanished to, when her always smiling lips turned into a scowl. Yet, I already knew.

Everything carefree, everything full of love died...Died alongside with my Father.

“Yes mother, it is a problem,” I didn’t recognize my own voice, it was so empty.

“Oh?” she raised an eyebrow, mocking.

“You have a son remember? Yes his names Tommy, he’s five,” my voice, void of any emotion, yet it seemed to anger her more.

“You think I don’t know that Rosaline?” No one called me that. My full first name, it sounded too formal, someone you wouldn’t know to call you that.

Is that what I am to my mother, a stranger?

“You could have fooled me mother. I mean there’s been no contact for weeks, you’d think that you’re a woman with no responsibilities,” I smirked, disgusted that I had to do her job.

Why had I been given all these responsibilities? Why did I have to be the mother for Tommy? I just wanted to be his sister. A normal sister, who get’s annoyed with her little brother. A sister who doesn’t have to give him my food because I feel he’s a growing boy. I shouldn’t be doing that; I should be taking his food to irritate him. I’m not supposed to be the one who scares the monsters away for him; I shouldn’t be the one taking care of him like I am.

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