I was so confused right now. Why did this all have to happen? Why does Ben love me and Drew like me? What the hell did I do? And I don't exactly know what I feel about the two either, and not to mention, I hate love triangles. Hell, I'm not even inlove.
I slumped into my bed and thought of what to do. Man, I should have told Drew that my stalker is not a human being but a ghost, but no, I didn't tell him. Why didn't I tell him?Was it because I originally never believed in ghosts? I don't have time for that shit. I have to tell him tomorrow. I should think of how to explain to him my current situations.
I don't get it. My deceased childhood friend is inlove with me and a popular guy wants to my boyfriend? What on earth is that all about? What was so special about me? Just because I play video games? Nonsense.
I decided to play in order to clear my mind as well as to distract myself. It was a Friday and I should have fun. As I was about to play, Cleverbot opened.
"Why did you bring him here?"
"It's my house, what the hell do you care?" Seriously, what's his problem?
"If I hadn't displayed your gay porn pics to creep him out God knows what you two would have done in your room."
"What the hell? That's wasn't necessary! We were never even planning that!"
"Oh? How would you know? Do you already trust him, (n)? Would you know what he would do to you?
"Seriously, what is your problem! He is just my friend!"
"I'm the only friend you ever need."
I'm sorry you have to be lonely... but please don't replace me
I shook my head to get rid of the voice inside my head. It was as if Ben was already inside my head, whispering creepy yet romantic stuff. But mostly creepy.
"You see, (n), I am part of you as you are part of me. We belong together... and he is in the way."
I took a deep breath. If Ben wasn't my childhood friend, I would have called the police or an exorcist. I had a day that was weird enough and I didn't want to completely ruin the mood.
"I will talk to him, ok? Let's start a fight over this. Wanna play Resident Evil?" I typed. Now I know why I feel so comfortable playing with him: it was because we always played together before so our gaming capability matches. A mutual bond between us.
We played and after a short while I felt myself relax. Playing with Ben helped me relieve a lot of stress and playing with him was simply comforting.
We played until early morning and I found myself exhausted. I told Ben I would go to sleep.
"Good night, (n). I'm sorry if you're pressured but I only want you for myself. Sleep well."
That's just what I need in a text to sleep. Genius, Ben. I chuckled. Something must be really wrong with me. Why am I feeling so thrilled when texts me stuff like this? Seriously, I'm probably going insane as well. I shrugged the feeling off and fell asleep.
I woke around late afternoon, feeling all drowsy. Drew was going to pick me up for the party. Am I really going? I'm scared of crowds... Should I really go?
I decided to browse the web for a bit and shake off my anxiety. I hope Ben is not going to do anything creepy when I'm at the party. And for fucks sake, I don't even know what to wear.
Time went by really fast and it was already evening. Ben suddenly messaged me.
"Are you going with him?"
"Well, yeah, to a party that is."
"....Please don't do anything funny with him or else I'll kill him."
"Woah, easy there Ben. Nothing is gonna happen."
Wow. Have I really been childhood friends with a psychopath? That is really scary. And above all, he's acting like we're a thing now or something. The hell?
The doorbell rang and awakened me from my comfort zone. I'm pretty sure that was Drew. I would go to a party... Oh god.... I'm really doing this, huh? I ran downstairs to greet Drew at the doorstep.
"Oh... hi..." He looked so different. He was wearing nice clothes and his hair was neatly styled with gel.
"Hey... Are you gonna wear that?"
"Uhh, no, I was just about to change." I gave him a shaky smile. In all honesty, I felt pretty insecure right now. This dude wants me to be his girlfriend? I don't mean to be offensive or anything but he might need glasses. "I'll be right back!"
I ran back to my room and searched through my clothes. I really don't have anything suitable for a party! Everything I had was way too casual. I didn't want to let Drew wait for long so I just decided to wear (some outfit you wanna wear) and rushed to the bathroom. I tried to keep my hair neat like Drew's but in kept sticking out. Sheesh, even a guy can groom himself better than me. This is is embarrassing. I wasted way too much time already... guess I'll just leave it like that. For fuck's sake, why do things always go wrong?
I went down and told him that I was more or less ready to go.
"Don't forget to use protection!" I heard Daryl called out behind me.
"What the fuck, bro?" I yelled back at him. Drew only snickered.
People were giving us weird looks as we made our way to the clubhouse. I can completely understand why, seeing us together was like placing a butterfly and a cockroach in the same jar. We did absolutely not look good together. I still don't understand him.
"Are you okay?"
"Uhh, yeah..." I guess my anxiety was obvious. I still don't understand why I'm going. Am I only going because of Drew? Is that it?
Drew only smiled widely and placed his arm around me, which made people look at us even weirder. I wanted to warn him about Ben but no sound came out of my mouth. I was feeling really scared. It was too late for me to run back to my house.
We finally arrived at the clubhouse which was full of people and deafening loud music. Colorful lights were blinding my eyes and I followed Drew as he made his way through the crowd, keeping my head down. I don't want to be seen and be judged by what I'm wearing or how my hair is all messy. I don't wanna hear it.
Why did I come here? What did I expect in the first place? Did I even have any expectations? I am so stupid. I always do things without thinking them through. I could have just stayed at home.
"Happy Birthday, Catherine!" Drew greeted the brunette beauty who was the birthday celebrant. She first smiled at Drew but it faded away as she spotted me.
"Umm... Why did you bring her?" She looked rather skeptic. I knew it, I shouldn't have come here.
"She's a really nice person, trust me."
"Err., Happy birthday..." I said shyly, trying to look as apologetic as possible.
She proceeded to say something to him but I couldn't hear what they were talking about since the music was way too loud. Catherine just shook her head and turned away from us.
"Umm... Should I perhaps leave?" I can understand her not liking party-crashers.
"No, no, it's fine." He was clearly lying.
"If she isn't ok with me being here then I'll leave-"
"No, it's fine, really. Don't go." He pulled me closer to him.
I shouldn't be here. Someone like me has no place in a party like this. I should really leave...
I hate parties. I don't even know why I came along. I am so stupid. The music prevented me from hearing anything else, the colorful lights were irritating, people were dancing and grinding each other, and drinks were passed around. Typical college parties.
I really wanted to be alone right now. There was too much going on, I should have stayed home. Drew took a glass and drank about half of it.
"Try it, it tastes good. It will help you relax." He held the glass out to me. I don't know why, I'm panicking so I just took it. Maybe it will help me get better. It tasted sweet at first but upon swallowing it, I could feel it burn my throat.
"Hey, are you okay?" I heard Drew call me. I just stood there frozen, feeling completely out of place. Everything around me felt so slow. My eyes adverted themselves to the only peaceful place which was the exit. I moved through the massive crowd, hoping to reach the exit but everything was so painfully slow. It was as if I was barely moving at all. Was I drunk? Was it the alcohol? Or was there something else in the drink?
As I tried to move farther, the other people turned to me, their eyes looking suspicious. Suspicious of what a loser like me is doing here.
"Is she a guest or something? She doens't look like it."
"Yeah, she doesn't look like someone Catherine would invite."
The music was loud but i could hear the whispers dreading themselves into my skull. Please, let me disappear, please let me be be somewhere else, I don't want to be here! Someone, please help... I'm scared. I can't take it anymore.
I want to scream but I can't. I can't breathe. Hopelessly, I fell on my knees in the middle of the crowd.
"Ben... please help me!"