Aries: In a wrestling match, no one bites like Gaston.
Taurus: Uses antlers in all of his decorating
Gemini: No one matches wits like Gaston
Cancer: No one souses lights like Gaston
Leo: Just... the entire song
Virgo: Eats four dozen eggs every morning to help him get large
Libra: Especially good at expectorating
Scorpio: Has five-hangers on
Sagittarius: In a spitting match, no one spits like Gaston
Capricorn: Gies tromping around wearing boots
Aquarius: Every last inch of Jim's covered in hair
Pisces: Ask any, Tom, Dick, Or Stanley, and they'll tell you who's team they'd prefer to be on