I sat there for a second and didn't really answer.
"Uh..Nessa?"
"Huh?"
"Did you hear me?"
"Uh.. yea.. I did."
"So?"
"Uh..Sorry, yes. Of course, I'll do it."
"Really?"
"Yea."
"Great, the guys will be really happy."
I gave a slight smile, and we finished eating and I kind of stayed quiet the rest of the night. We finished up and then headed back to my apartment. We got out of the car and he walked me to the door.
"Thank you for taking me out."
"Thank you for letting me, and thanks for agreeing to be in the visual."
"Of course."
"We're gonna start shooting tomorrow at 1 so I'll text you the address in the morning."
"Okay."
He leaned in and kissed me.
"You sure you okay?"
"Yea."
"Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow."
He gave me another kiss then turned around and walked to the car and drove off. I walked inside and sat down on my couch. I let out a deep breath. I was happy to help the guys with their visual, but I didn't know how I felt about dancing anymore. It just didn't feel the same since the night before the audition. I just had this weird feeling. I tried to forget about it so I went to bed.
NEXT MORNING
I woke up and looked over at my phone to see the address Z texted me. I got up and took a shower and put on some shorts and a t-shirt, and put my hair in a bun. I grabbed some breakfast, and headed over to the location they were shooting at. I parked and got out of my car and walked inside. I walked into the room and saw the boys talking around a man. I saw a group of people near the snack table talking then I saw the boys stop talking to the man and start walking toward me.
"Hey, Nessa."-Edwin
"Hey."
"How you feeling?"-Austin
"Good, a little nervous."
"Don't be."-Brandon
"Yea, you'll do great, Nessa."-Nick
"Thank you."
"Thanks for helping us out and being in the visual by the way."-Brandon
"You're welcome. I know you guys worked really hard on this song and I'm glad I can be apart of it."
"We appreciate it."-Edwin
"Dancers to wardrobe!"
"I guess that's me. I'll see you guys later."
"See you."-Nick
I walked over and then a lady walked all of us into a big rehearsing room. She showed us our choreographer, Ian, and we learned the moves the boys did in the music video that they created and then 7 8-counts that we would perform while the boys were singing the rest of the song.
"Okay, good job everybody. Now, I'm gonna show the girls parts for their dance solos in the song."
Ian showed us a combo for the second bridge and part of the chorus. We finished up learning the routine and practiced it a few times until everyone got it. Then the lady walked us out of the room and separated the guys and girls into different dressing rooms. We walked in the room and there were like four women at different stations to let us try on outfits and do hair and makeup. They wanted to keep the theme black and white like how the music video was so I tried on a couple outfits and then decided on one then went to hair and makeup.
MY OUTFIT
I finished getting my touch ups for hair and makeup and then the lady form before walked us out of the room back to the place we were shooting with the rest of the dancers. The boys were standing near the corner talking to the director. They finished talking and the guys and director walked over to us.
"Okay, everybody thank you for coming today. We're gonna make this a great shoot, okay?"-Director
Everyone clapped and agreed.
"Thank you guys for helping us out and shooting this dance visual with us. We really appreciate it."-Brandon
"Let's get started then."-Director
"Okay, everybody so we're gonna start off by shooting the bridge into the chorus."-Lady
We started off at the bridge, and then flowed into the chorus. We reshot some of the chorus a couple times, and then the boys did their parts by themselves in the first and second verse.
"Okay, cut! Great job everybody. We're gonna start the solos with some of our female dancers for the second bridge and we're gonna alternate between dance solos and the boys in the last chorus. How about we have Lani go first."
The went through the female dance solos until I was the last one.
"Alright, Vanessa you're up."
I walked over to my spot.
"Okay, we're gonna start at Edwin's part in the bridge and then stop after Nick's high note in the chorus."
"Okay."
I felt myself start to get nervous especially since I was dancing in front of the entire crew and the boys. Then I realized the boys hadn't seen me dance.. like ever.. and I grew even more nervous. I took deep breath.
"Nessa, you good?"
"Yea. I'm good."
"Alright."
They started playing the song, and at first I felt awkward, but then I just let myself move to the music and it felt right. As soon as it started it was over.
"That was good, Nessa, but I wanna you to do the first part again so we can get a different angle."
"Okay."
They restarted the track and I redid the combo and then they stopped it.
"Great job, Nessa."
I walked off and we finished shooting the rest of the visual and finally wrapped for the day. I grabbed my stuff from the dressing room and walked back out to the main studio. I heard my name and turned around and saw Nick.
"Hey, Nessa."-Nick
"Yea?"
"Good job today. I didn't know you could dance like that."
"Thank you."
"No problem. I gotta go find Brandon, but just wanted to say good job today."
"Thanks, Nick."
He walked away and then I turned and saw Z grabbing his charger, and I walked over.
"Hey."
"Hey. How are you feeling?"
"I feel.. good. I actually feel really good. I was a little nervous, but I feel like it went well."
"I'm glad, you did really good. I'm proud of you."
"Thank you."
"So what are you getting ready to do?"
"I'm actually about to head home. I'm pretty tired."
"Okay, call me if you need anything, okay?"
"I will."
I gave him a quick kiss.
"I'll see you later."
"Okay."
I turned around and walked out to my car. I got in my car and was about to pull out when my phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey."
"Hey, Cade. What's up?"
"I just figured out some lyrics for the second verse so I didn't know if you want to meet me at the studio."
"Oh."
"If you're busy we can do it another time. I just had been working on it and I changed part of the beat and wanted to see if you-"
"It's fine, Cade. Uhm.. actually yea, I can meet you there."
"You sure?"
"Yea, I'm on my way."
"Okay, I'll see you then."
"Okay, bye."
"Bye."
I looked back up at the studio and remembered what I told Z. I mean I would just swing by the studio and then go home so it wouldn't be that big of a deal. I pulled out of the parking space and drove over to the studio. I got out and walked inside to find Cade.
"Hey."
"Hey... is it gonna become a thing where you come dressed up for our studio sessions?"
"Oh.. no, I was just at a shoot for the boy's dance visual."
"Dance visual?"
"Yea, it was to promote their promo tour for their song BliND. Z asked me if I could be in it."
"Oh..."
"What's wrong?"
"It's just..I know that dance is your first love, and Zion asked you to be in it and everything, but you gotta draw the line somewhere, Nessa. You made the jump from dance to music so if peoples see that you are still doing events and promotional opportunities for your dancing it starts to blur the lines a little. If you truly are serious about this you gotta choose which one gets your priority and put that first. Always."
"Yea.. you're right."
"Speaking of putting things first, come look at these lyrics."
I walked over and grabbed the notebook Cade had beside him.
"I wish I could say you were my first love. I wish I could say I wouldn't hurt you. Cause baby I want it better or worse. You could have my love forever you earned it... Cade, this is amazing."
"You like it?"
"Yes! Those lyrics are amazing. How did you come up with those?"
"You know what they say, crazy things happen when you're inspired by something."
We both kind of looked at each other for a little bit.
"I love them, thank you."
"Good. I changed the opening beat to add something. I want to see if you like it."
"Okay."
Cade turned around in his chair and played the track. The original underlying beat was still there but a swelling beat played over it that gave it a really R&B and chill vibe, then the bass beat started, and then he cut the track off."
"So, what do you think?"
"That's so dope."
"I'm glad you like it. Now how about we record it."
"Let's do it."
I walked in the booth and grabbed the headphones.
"Okay, all the way through the first, second, and third verse and the chorus."
"Okay."
Cade started the track and I sang the first half of the song. The beat kept going and I kind of just kept singing and freestyle some lyrics.
"You just dropped out the sky. You just fell in my lap, you just crashed in my life. Run that shit run it back. Baby, baby. Drive me crazy, know that I want you. Got me like da da da da."
I sang that verse into the chorus again, and then Cade cut the track off.
"Where the hell did that come from?"
I kind of smiled.
"I don't know. I guess I felt inspired."
He looked at me and smiled.
"Well, whatever that was you need to do it again."
We kept working on the bridge and rewrote some of the chorus and third verse.
"Hey, can you play the third verse and the chorus back?"
"Yea."
We listened back on the third verse into the chorus.
"I feel like I want a male voice for the background vocals."
"That would be dope."
"Do you think Mav would be willing to hop in and do it?"
"Only way to find out is to ask."
"True."
I got up from the couch to go pick up my phone and it started ringing.
"Hello?"
"Hey."
"Oh hey, babe."
"Where are you? I went by your apartment to drop off a shirt you left at the house, and you weren't there."
"I went to hang out with Raelynn."
"Oh okay, well you guys can come over. The boy's and and I are hanging out with some friends."
"Uh.. yea. I'll check with Raelynn and see if we can stop by later."
"Okay, I'll see you later then. Love you."
"Love you too."
"Bye."
"Bye."
I hung up the phone and set it back down.
"So my name is Raelynn now?"
"Cade."
"I'm just joking."
I walked over and sat down on the couch and let out a deep breath.
"Why didn't you just tell him the truth?"
"I don't feel like getting in another argument about you."
"About me?"
"Just.. never mind."
"No, what are you talking about?"
"It's just Zion was upset about me spending so much time with you, and him seeing us hugging the other night didn't really help."
"Oh, damn. Sorry, I didn't mean to mess anything up."
"No, it's not your fault. It's just a lot has been going on with us, and I told him I couldn't hang out cause I was tired."
"Why didn't you just tell him you changed your mind?"
"Oh yea, because hey, Z I told you I was tired that's why I didn't want to hang out after, but Cade called so I'm going to meet him at the studio would have been so much better."
"Oh yea..I see the problem now."
"Exactly."
He kind of paused and sat there for a second.
"So what changed?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why did you decided to come here."
"We had work to do, Cade. I wanted to keep working on the song."
"Right,.. of course."
"I think I'm just gonna head home. We can finish this up tomorrow."
"I didn't mean to make things wor-"
"It's fine, Cade. I'm just tired."
"Nessa, wait."
I grabbed my phone and walked to the door, but I felt Cade stop me and grab my arm.
"Look, I'm sorry. Can we just keep working on this? I promise I won't pry with anymore questions."
I paused for a second.
"It's fine. I promise, but I should go. I'll call you tomorrow."
I looked down and I saw that Cade and I were still holding hands. We both looked at each other and let go.
"Uh.. yea. I'll umm see you tomorrow.."
"Yea.."
I walked out and went to my car. I got in and drove back to my apartment and walked in. I thought about what happened between me and Cade and looked at my phone. I opened messages and texted Z.
Me
Rae and Mav are going through something, she really needs me tonight. I'll call you tomorrow.🖤
Z💛
okay, love you
Me
love you too.
I felt horrible lying to him, but I was hoping I was doing the right thing by trying to avoid an argument and just not tell him. My head was a mess so I went to bed.
2 DAYS LATER
I got up and took a shower. Today was the day the boy's left for the BliND promo tour, and I was gonna meet Z at the airport. I hadn't spoken to Cade since what happened in the studio, but I also couldn't stop thinking about it at the same time. I got out of the shower and got ready.
MY OUTFIT
I grabbed some breakfast and then headed for the airport. I pulled up and parked and walked inside to the lobby and saw the boys talking to some fans. I saw Z and he looked at me. I mouthed to him that I was going to wait at the Internet Cafe until they were done. I walked over to the the cafe and sat down until I saw the group of fans walk away and then I walked back over there.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"How's Raelynn?"
"What?"
"Is Raelynn okay?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You said her and Mav were going through something."
"Oh yea, yea. She's doing better. They had to just talk through some stuff."
"That's good."
"Yea."
I looked down at the floor.
"You okay?"
"Huh?"
"You seem like something's bothering you."
"Oh, I'm fine. I'm just gonna miss you."
"I'll miss you too."
"FLIGHT 673 ROW B BOARDING NOW. FLIGHT 673 ROW B BOARDING NOW."
"That's us."
"Oh, okay."
"I'll see you when I get back."
"Okay, be safe."
I pulled him in and kissed him, and then hugged him. I let go and felt a tear kind of roll down my face.
"Nessa, what's wrong?"
"I'm.. I'm just really gonna miss you."
He pulled me in and kiss me again and then pulled away.
"I'll be back soon. I love you."
"I love you too."
He gave me another quick kiss and then picked up his stuff and walked away. I let out a deep breath and then I turned around to walk to my car. I hated that I kept lying to him. I hated not being able to tell him things because we'd start arguing about them. I hated that I kept thinking about what happened between me and Cade in the studio. Most of all I hated the fact that I felt like I had to lie to Z in the first place. I walked all the way to my car and got in and I felt the tears start to roll down my face.