"Be yourself, everyone else is already taken"
-Oscar Wilde
************
-Emma-He screams towards me but I ignore him, I am a changed woman with different ideas that I had back then when I was 19 years old.
-Emma-His strong voice reaches my ears one more time but I continue walking front but then sadly without I notice, he puts a and on my shoulder and realizing that I had no escape possible I decided to face him, I decided to face him, I decided to face a ghost-You look different-He looks at my entire body without blinking.
-What do you want?
-We have to talk.
-No.
-Please, Emma, I can't lose you
I look at him furiously and stupidly I have the accuracy to make a mistake, a serious one, I look into his green eyes and at that moment I completely lost. My stupid heart was beating an inconvenient speed and ironically my legs start to shake at that precise moment.
-Fine.
"Boston,2003 Day 23/12
I open my eyes with laziness, I rub them right after. I get out of bed with difficulty, in doing so I tumble the book "Romeo and Juliet" to the ground.
I'm still sleepy and I take the book from the ground, then with a sudden move, I throw it up to the bed still to do.
I scratch my head with my left hand and yawn. I move into the kitchen, make myself stir to be more correct, and I'll get a glass to fill it with water. I raise the glass in my mouth, and I didn't even have the option to touch my lips on the glass because someone was knocking on the door. Slothful I move again slowly step by step. I shake the blue silk shorts and the white sweater and I go with my feet to the door, I open it.
-Right on time dear, we have to leave immediately-exclaims Paul of despair and enthusiasm, behind him was Max with the same sleepy expression as me.
-Please come in-I say with sympathy.
-You are very kind my friend-Paul smiles with compassion and enters the apartment, while I hold the door I could see Max, going through me, right after Paul, seriously with his eyes ahead nailed to the ground ignoring me.
-I'm going to get ready -I move back into my room.
I decide to wear a black sweater and sweatpants of the same color, I shim the adidas and I tighten the hair on the top of my head on a cute ponytail. After the look is ready I'll get my purse and put in there a book, a lighter charger, and a normal charger for the phone, my precious airpods, a portable battery, and a travel cushion, which by the way was my favorite thing.
I close the purse, take it on my shoulder and return to the kitchen.
-I just need to eat something I haven't eaten yet-I say with a yawn.
-Takes as long as you need, it's still early-Paul smiles, I look slightly sideways, Max still hasn't looked at me at once.
I breathe deeply.
-Do you guys want anything?-I ask.
-No, we're fine, aren't we, Max?
Still sleepy, he looks at me, my legs start shaking, damn stupid habit.
-Yes, we're-he looks into my eyes, but for a little while. I open the door of my fridge and I get a yogurt, like it in seconds.
-We can go-I say with a mouthful of strawberry yogurt.
-Let's Go! Paul smiled at me. Paul was always smiling and I didn't know how he could. I remember being quite small, but not so much because the memories were still fresh in my mind, from Eleanor's funeral. Eleanor was Paul's wife, and the two of them were inseparable, these days, I'm sad just to mention her name. And Paul since I've known him never broke his smile on his lips, ever.
I threw the yogurt package in the trash and went to the door. I was the first to leave, then Max and then Paul, being everybody out, I take the keys and I close the apartment. I walk quietly behind the two, following their path, we took the elevator and after a while, we arrived at the parking lot. We've been around for about ten minutes, and then we stopped suddenly and I watch that shiny black Peugeot waiting for us.
-Come on!-Paul says still with his normal unbreakable smile on his face, then opens the driver's door and sits on the driver's seat.
With my legs shaking and my breathing getting even weaker, I go to the back of the car, I see, by the glass of the car, that Max was already seated. I opened the door and sat in my place behind the place where Paul remained, and I remained quiet. I put the purse on my feet and I opened it and I take out my airpods, and my cell phone, that's when I noticed that I was being watched, I ignored it, I just didn't have the will or the strength to face him again. I turned on the phone and I put the movie "Bohemian Rhapsody" that reported the phenomenal story of Queen, my favorite band, the voice of vocalist Freddie Mercury had the power to transport me to another dimension. I see half an hour of the film and I notice the car has stopped, I take an airpod out from my ear.
-I need to put gas in the car, I'll be right back.
I turn off my phone and I stay quiet.
-I think you should have this.
I'm surprised, words were coming out of Max's mouth and they were for me.
-What's that? I wonder.
-This-he lifts a silver bundle of keys in the air, keys that were very similar to my apartment grey keys.
-Yes, those are keys and- I shrug my shoulders in confusion.
-I made a copy of the keys to your apartment.
Okay, I think this is the part where you have to rewind the film backwards to better hear the audio.
-You did what you!?? -I ask angry, that's why he came into my apartment yesterday, he had the keys, I'm so stupid, I hit with my hand on my forehead.
So stupid...
-Sorry.
-That's why you got into my apartment, you had the fucking keys! -I'm so angry that my thoughts and ideas are all confused in my mind.
-I don't know why I did it, but...
I interrupt him immediately:-Listen, do you think it's right to enter other people's houses without permission!!! -I scream loudly.-How could you!!
Stupidly I thought the "appearance of him in my room" had been a dream, which makes me even stupider.
He looks at the floor.
-And I here with a crush on you, I really thought you were different...
Shit...
I cover my mouth with my hand and I look at Max, and by my surprise, he was smiling.
-I don't blame you, everybody likes me-Max says with a bastard smile on his face.
-You heard me wrong, I didn't say I liked you--I cross my arms and I try to make the most serious face I could. I don't like him, and I have to believe that, but simply I can't do that, is it possible that I really like him?
-Oh, yes? So what did you say?-Max is approaching me.
-Don't change the subject, asshole, why did you do that....-I didn't finish the sentence, Max was still smiling, and suddenly he puts a hand on my leg.
-So you have a crush on me?
-No, I don't, and I never will, a boy like you disgusts me.
-Like me? -he raises an eyebrow.
-Yes, guys who just want fun and who treat girls like objects-I responded aggressively.
The smile withers from Max's face, he takes his hand off my leg.
-Why do you think that?
-I don't know-I shrug my shoulders-just... You... You're always teasing me and I don't like it. And... UH-I shut up.
-I never thought I was offending you all of that was a joke, a simple joke. Maybe I treated you kind of bad...
-I... You... No.. Yes
-I'm not denying I thought you were pretty when I first saw you.
What?
-.....
-And I'm sorry I threw water upon you-he gives me a kind smile-and for coming into your house, how about being friends?
There were still questions that had no answer, such as "why he told me those words when he" came "to my house" "and why he almost kissed me," I decided to ignore these questions and I simply stared at him.
-Friends?
-Yes-Max beckons in agreement.
Friends? Why not ..
-Yes, fine.
-Cool-In a slight move Max slides to his place and keeps quiet. He was a weird guy, and he knew how to use the words, but he didn't convince me, he made a pretty weird face when he said "joke." But it made me wonder, is that I was actually offended by his jokes, yes I was. I don't like to feel abandoned and humiliated and Max does that to me.
I press the play button on the phone with my hands shaking, and I load the movie one more time. Suddenly the car starts to move again and I see the rest of the film comfortable on my seat. The journey becomes silent, I remained only with an airpod in the ear, Max is with his eyes on the landscape outside and Paul was singing a song by Michael Jackson "Thriller". After a while, the credits appear, and the film ends.
-Are we almost there?-I ask by removing the airpod from the ear.
Paul nods and looks me in the mirror. I smile at him.
-We have to stop at a hotel because we have to wait for a person that we have to bring with us and belongs to the family.
-Whom?
-Charles is Max's adoptive brother, also my nephew.
-You're too crowded, Paul, you've got a lot of nephews-I give a slight laugh.
-Yes, darling, you're right-Paul laughs too-look we've reached the hotel.
I look out, the hotel was called "The Rose" and it looked pretty cozy. It was a white building that had a translucent glass door with a big red rose right in the middle. I see that the car door is open and Max gets out of the car, I with a simple slide I leave the car too. Paul opens the trunk of the car and takes our bags. The weather was weird, it was rotten ice with a variety of breezes and suddenly hits me. I didn't have any warm clothes, I only had summer clothes. I took my suitcase and entered the hotel, I look to the left and I see a lady who belonged to the reception, she had a black vest and in the upper right corner was a red rose that reamed with the light transmitted by the lamp that remained on the table who belonged to the reception. I look to the right and see what I want, a souvenir shop.
-I'll be back -I say to Max and Paul, and then I'll go to the souvenir shop.
The store was gigantic and for my relief, there was a clothing area. I put my wallet back on my shoulders and I'm heading towards the area. I see all the clothes and I pick a warm coat, two pairs of black leggings and two furry sweaters, black military-style boots, and I still buy two black sets of underwear. I go to the box and put the clothes in the box, then I take the wallet and pay the nice gentleman from the box and then he gives me a big black bag that had rose petals, then I go out of the store to Max and Paul.
-Take Emma's your key, apparently, there's been a problem with the rooms and then you're going to have to sleep in my room.
I don't drop the bag, but I scream loudly inside my mind so no one hears, I swear that in the last few days there has been a person conspiring against me.
-Ok-I take the key and I forget I was holding the bag and then I let it fall on Max's feet, and to improve the situation my lingerie falls out of the bag.
-This is yours-Max picks up the lingerie and gives it to me, he stretched out his arm and looked down. I'm sincere, I appreciate the gesture.
I feel my cheeks blusher slightly. I pack everything back in the bag and I pick up the key. The room was number 4 on floor 6. I move to the elevator without waiting for Max and when the doors close I breathe relief and I hope he gets to the 4th floor, then I go out and I rush to my room, I was tired and besides Max would be in the same room as me and wanted to have time to myself. I open the door of my room and I come across to another surprise there was only one bed.
-I need to sleep so I decided to let that surprise go. I'll take my clothes and I'll pack my suitcase and my bag in the corner of the room. I get my black bra, I pull the sheets back and I close my eyes asleep.