"Falling down is an accident. Staying down is a choice."
MAYA
The silent and restless crowd became overly noisy when my body collided with the surface of the deep blue water. However, amongst the cheering, my ears also captured a scream. A terrified scream. It was faint, no match to the chaotic cheering, but I heard it just before my body went underwater.
It took me a few seconds before I actually felt the freezing cold water prickle against my skin. I held my breath underwater as my hair floated around my shoulders and my clothes swayed on my body.
I was about to push myself up and throw my head over water, but my stiffened cold bones protested when another tall and heavy figure jumped inside the pool. The next thing I knew, Cayden and I were staring at each other underwater.
Cayden's eyes were so wide that I almost feared his pupils would blow up, his hair was sticking out in all sorts of directions and his expression was a mix of furious and shocked.
I almost laughed, but slapped a hand over my mouth to contain it. Instead, I threw my hands up, doing a small victory dance to signalize that I won.
Cayden looked at me like my brain had once again, been hijacked, and I had completely lost it.
I swam over to him, but when I outstretched my hand out, Cayden smacked it away, pushing me away from him. His eyes gleaming with anger awakened sudden confusion within me. I tried to reach for him again, but Cayden kept pushing me away. This kept happening so many times that we basically ended up looking like we were wrestling underwater.
And then there was a moment when our bodies were so close that I felt his forehead touch mine. So close that I saw my reflection in his dull gray eyes. So close that I could barely understand what happened next. Our lips were against each other.
The kiss didn't even last for a mere second. It probably wasn't even a kiss. Just a brief brushing of my lips against his. But it felt more real than all those lustful kisses I shared with Nathan. Way more real. Way more.
Maybe it was the way the touch of his lips against mine left a tingling sensation bolting through my whole body from head to toe as if something lit up in me. Maybe it was the warmth that lingered within me during our brief lip-lock even though the water we were in was freezing cold.
I didn't get the chance to see Cayden's reaction to what just happened, because within a heartbeat, he had already pulled his face out of the water.
After I pushed my upper body over the surface of the water, I noticed three things. Firstly, everyone had gathered around the swimming pool and was cheering for me. Secondly, Cayden looked at me with shock painted across his whole wet face. Thirdly, I could still feel the soft sensation of his lips on my own.
"Cay-" he cut me off by climbing out of the pool in his soaked clothes before pushing through the drunk and cheerful crowd as he made his way inside the house.
I frowned as I saw Cayden's broad frame disappear out of my sight. It took me a minute to actually move my frozen muscles before I climbed out of the pool as well and started trembling like a petite monkey in the snow when Bree approached me with a huge grin on her face.
"That was...AMAZING!" She exclaimed, jumping to my side as she wrapped a blanket around my shoulders.
Cayden's angered expression still lingering in the back of my mind, I returned the grin. "Thanks. It was really nice actually. I was so warm, but now I'm super cold, but feel kind of fresh and cooled down at the same time," I admitted, my thoughts spread out in all corners of my mind.
I had no idea what I was blabbering.
"You're definitely a bit drunk, missy." She laughed. "Oh, and don't worry about making this memorable. I got it all on camera. I'm sure many others did too."
When we made our way inside the house, it was then it suddenly hit me. All those people who watched me jumped, one of them might've read my diary. It had to be someone from EverGreen High. It had to be. I wanted to find out who, but if the person wanted me to know, they would've made it pretty clear or at least confessed to me about it.
I know it probably didn't matter much anymore, but deep down I really wanted to know who read my story, how they felt and how they managed to wrap their head around all my words inked to those once blank pages.
Suddenly, the music was back on and it didn't take long before the atmosphere became hot and sweaty again. Before everyone started filling up the living room again, I left Bree with a few cheerleaders to look for Cayden.
After I climbed up the stairs and headed through the hallway that led back to Bree's bedroom, I spotted Cayden a few feet ahead of me.
"Cayden, wait!" I yelled as I jogged after him into Bree's room.
When I found him pacing back and forth across her room, I closed the door behind me and furrowed my brows. Cayden looked up and our eyes met. That's when I saw it clear under the fluorescent stroking a lightness across his hair as dark as the night. The specs of fear dancing across the dullness of his eyes, the panic painted across his face and the deep frown stitched on his lips, which brushed against mine for a flicker of a moment, left me confused.
Did it even happen?
No, it did. I felt it. It was real.
The voices in my head were giving me a headache.
"Cayden," I said as I walked up to him and gently placed my hand on his arm. However, Cayden immediately flinched and ran his fingers roughly through his raven black locks. I felt my stomach twist when I saw his fingers trembling.
"I can with a hundred percent guarantee confirm that some of the screws in your brain have loosened ever since your attempt," he snapped, harshly.
I blinked. "What?"
Cayden groaned exasperatedly before bursting. "I was kidding! I wasn't serious about daring you to jump from a 10 meters height. You got out of the hospital five days ago!"
I was confused. "What does that have to do with me going for a swim?"
"Seriously?!" He snapped at me, eyes burning with anger as it attempted to conceal the immense fear.
I took a small step back and slowly held my hands up in defense before whispering, "Cayden, I'm fine."
He brushed past me while murmuring, "Whatever. Fuck this."
"Cayden!" I rapidly grabbed his arm and pulled him back so we were facing each other "Hey! Look at me. I'm completely fine."
Cayden didn't look convinced. Belief battled with doubt across his face and he bit his bottom lip as he scanned my whole posture, looking for any signs of injuries.
Weirdly, I found myself smiling and placed my hands in his bigger palms. Cayden's gaze dropped to our hands entwined as I gave them a small squeeze. A reassuring squeeze.
"I'm okay. I really am," I assured, wholeheartedly.
After staring at me for a moment, Cayden sighed and his tensed muscles relaxed. The pool of immense worry slowly swept away in the gray abyss of his eyes before relief took its place.
"You're a little drunk," he mumbled, stroking my cheek with his cold hand. I pretended to ignore my heart skipping a beat.
"So are you," I shot back, amusedly.
"Bummer."
I grinned. "Yeah. Bummer."
Suddenly, Cayden pulled my petite frame compared to his broader frame, against his chest, my face buried against his soaked shirt. He wrapped his strong arms around me and rested his chin on top of my head. Stunned by the cozy gesture, I stood still in his embrace but eventually found myself smiling all over again as I wrapped my arms around his back. Just like that, we stood in Bree's bedroom in soaked clothes, clinging to each other.
"Don't even think about it!" Cayden and I jumped away from each other when Bree's yelling reached drummed in our ears. I glanced behind my shoulder and found Bree standing in the doorway with a deadly expression.
"Don't you dare go near my bed all soaked and sticky," she threatened.
"I'm sleepy," I blurted out my thoughts without thinking twice.
Cayden looked pretty exhausted as well.
Bree groaned. "Take some new clothes from my closet."
And then she moved her gaze to Cayden. "Cay-Cay, give me a minute. I'll go find some of dad's old clothes."
After she was gone, Cayden and I glanced at each other with surprised faces.
I guess we were staying the night.
~
After getting out of my soaked and sticky skirt and top, I put on a pair of Bree's pajamas, consisting of gray shorts and a white t-shirt with a pink Adidas logo. I was still cold, but it was way better than being all wet and sticky.
When I entered Bree's bedroom again, I found Cayden dressed in black sweatpants and a gray t-shirt as he climbed onto Bree's bed and curled up underneath her big blanket. I smiled and shut the door before turning off the lights. Afterwards, I joined him on the bed and then under the blanket. Warmth immediately reached my cold skin and stiffened bones, and I sighed in content when my cheek fell against a soft pillow.
Cayden opened his tired eyes and his lips curled upwards when he found me curled up into a ball next to him. He reached his hand out to place it on my cheek again, his touch leaving goosebumps to spring up on my skin.
"You're so cold," he murmured.
"I'm okay," I assured, softly.
"Stop that."
"Stop what?"
"Saying you're okay. Neglecting your feelings. It's so fucking wrong," he replied, quietly.
I didn't say anything. I couldn't. How was I suppose to respond to that?
So instead, I made a good confession. "You're a good person, Cayden."
Eyes closed, Cayden almost scoffed, jaw briefly clenching. "I'm not. I'm selfish and I always ruin everything. I don't want to ruin you."
Just like that, his hand dropped from my cheek, leaving a sudden shiver to crawl down my spine. I shuddered.
I don't want to ruin you.
His words echoed in my head and I felt my stomach clench.
"You can't ruin what's already ruined," I confessed, quietly.
After those words left my mouth, the smother of silence fell between us. The upbeat music had stopped. People had left a while ago. Now, there was only silence, but I couldn't ignore the beat of the music still ringing in my ears like an everlasting melody. Side effects of loud parties.
But I guess that's what music was for. Something to drown in and forget. Not everything, but enough.
"What was it like...to jump?" Cayden's sudden question caused me to rip my eyes open. However, his eyes were still closed and his large palm was still resting on my cheek. His touch was different from Nathan and John's. So different. It was gentler, softer and comfier. Subconsciously, I found myself snuggling closer against his palm.
The only light in the room was the dim moonlight streaming in from the small space between the curtains on Bree's large window, illuminating our skin.
Apart from that, the outside world was getting less colder and the howling wind didn't freeze your ears anymore. Instead, it left a blossoming and fresh sensation against my skin. A reminder of spring heading our way.
Knowing Cayden, he would probably still address it as "So fucking cold."
"Which time?" I asked, my voice a quiet whisper, putting my focus back on his question.
Cayden's reply was easy and quick. "Both."
"That night, I was numb. Tonight, I was scared and excited. That night, I felt free. Tonight, I felt alive," I confessed, genuinely.
Slightly troubled expression, Cayden nodded.
This was different. I couldn't compare this - sleeping close to Cayden with sleeping close to Nathan and John. This wasn't painful, numbing or an attempt to feel loved. This was...solacing.
"Can't believe I'm sharing a bed with The Cayden Bloom," I mumbled.
"Can't believe I'm sharing a bed with The ex-queen bee," he retorted before after a moment of pause, adding, "Everyone would freak out if someone saw us like this."
"Let them. I'm learning to not care what others think, and," I paused.
"And?"
"You know what I think?"
"Mmhm?" He nodded, yawning like a kitten. An adorable kitten.
I genuinely smiled before whispering, "You're not a bad boy. You just try so hard to be one."
Eyes still shut, a smile crawled upon Cayden's soft lips. I got him on that one. I chuckled and closed my eyes.
"Night, Cayden."
"Night, Maya."
As I slowly drifted off to blissful oblivion, I knew that if I could sleep in this position for the rest of my life, I wouldn't mind an infinite number of cold nights like these.
~
I woke up in the morning with a mild headache, probably signalizing that I had a mild hangover. No biggie right?
How many cups of beer did I drink?
How did I get home?
Where did this big soft pillow come from?
Curled up against the soft and comfy pillow, I opened my eyes and squinted at the bright sunlight streaming in from the large window. After immediately rubbing my eyes to adjust to the light, I blinked several times and eventually managed to keep them open.
However, the second I felt myself snuggled against a familiar chest, noticed an arm was draped over my waist, and that my ear was listening to a rhythm tune sounding like a heartbeat, my eyes blew wide open and my own heart did a few thousand backflips in my chest.
Dare.
Jump.
Cayden.
Kiss under the water.
Bree's bed.
Sleeping together.
When my mind put all the pieces of yesterday's events together, the blurred picture in my head became clearer, leaving my heart as a wild beast in my chest.
"Holy fu-" I clamped a hand over my mouth the second I heard it. Soft and steady breaths blowing against my scalp and his hard chest rising and falling against my body. He was still asleep.
I stilled and seconds passed by while he continued to peacefully sleep. Instead of attempting to untangle myself from him, my limbs eventually relaxed and my body melted against his as I felt at ease with his arm around my waist and his hand resting on my small back. My cheeks brushed against the soft material of his t-shirt, and his warmth radiated through me and placed itself over my bones, leaving a fuzzy feeling tingling through me.
Very gently, I slightly drew back and took in Cayden's fast asleep face. His raven black locks were tousled and some strands fell over his closed eyes as long dark lashes cast shadows on his skin. Those soft lips that briefly brushed against mine yesterday, were slightly parted and all in all, he looked...peaceful.
Ever stared at someone's morning glowing skin while they're asleep and wondered what they're dreaming about?
I wonder what Cayden was dreaming about.
Admittedly, I thought I wouldn't be ready to share a bed with a different guy, let alone fall asleep in his arms after what I had been through with John and Nathan for so long. However, this - us two together in bed didn't freak me out. Honestly, I could stay here with him, like this, for the rest of the day.
Despite John and Nathan's touch giving me the warmth that I've always desired, the warmth that made me feel loved even just for a mere second, Cayden's warmth was different. Because when I slowly slid out of his gentle grip around me and sat up before getting off the bed, I still felt his warmth. It didn't linger on my skin. Instead, the warmth became a permanent part of me.
I was about to leave the room to look for Bree but froze in a heartbeat when an idea popped in my head. More precisely, literally fell from the sky and hit my head.
Grinning, I grabbed the empty glass from the nightstand next to Cayden's side of the bed and silently jogged into the bathroom and filled the glass with icy cold water. I was already doing my quiet evil laugh as I made my way back to the bed and stood next to where Cayden was fast asleep. And just like that, I poured the water on his face.
Cayden reacted immediately when this eyes ripped open and he jumped up as if burned. Breathing heavily, his gaze snapped to me and he stared at me with shock dominating his whole face. Eventually, the state turned into a hard glare and the shock transformed into boiling anger, his strong jawline ticking. As his eyes followed the empty glass in my head, his eyes became a pool of rage and before I even realized, I sprinted out of the room as he chased after me.
"YOU'RE SO DEAD, MAYA!"
I laughed in response and sprinted through the silent, neat corridors of Bree's house and down the stairs that welcomed me to her drunk teens free living room. However, the smell of alcohol combined with hot sweat still lingered between the four walls and empty cups of beer, decorations, and traces of food like chips and other snacks were lying all over the place. The place looked like an aftermath of a party explosion, which it was. Literally.
Clearly, Cayden seemed to ignore it as he continued to pace after me as if his life depended on it. I, on the other hand, laughed and screamed of amusement as I ran and ran till my legs would give out.
"I swear I'll throw you in the fucking pool!" Cayden yelled as we continued to run laps round and round the living room.
"What the hell?" I stopped dead in my tracks behind one of the couches when Bree's confused voice reached my ears. Cayden, who had stopped across from the couch, glanced at Bree standing a few feet away behind him with brows furrowed and jaw dropped.
Her champagne blonde hair was a mix of a blob and a birds nest on top of her head while she stood lazily in a gray t-shirt, pink sweatpants and a white bathrobe dusted with pink stars. She was holding a glass of orange juice in her hand while her tired eyes had dark circles under them.
"So you just went from cuddling in my bed to playing tag around the house like 6-year-olds," she claimed more than she assumed as she plopped down on an empty couch.
Drops of cold water still dripping from his face, Cayden ignored her and transferred his gaze back to me. His eyes narrowed and he scowled, threateningly.
"I'm a mischief. A secret trait, I guess. Spilling cold water on your face was only the prank of the year," I said in defense.
Whilst sipping her juice, Bree coughed as her widened eyes snapped to me, gleaming of shock. "You pranked The Cayden Bloom?!"
I nodded, proudly.
Bree sighed and leaned back in the couch before she nodded at Cayden and casually said, "Grab her. She deserves it."
I gasped. "Bree!"
"You. Dead. Now," Cayden's murderous words forced my legs back on a wild run.
It pretty much ended up being a wild goose chase around the messy living room while Bree ignored us and pushed the terrace door open, letting late winter air dance inside and swallow the stench of beer, chips and sweaty bodies with the outdoor snowy scent.
While Cayden continued to chase me, I caught a glimpse of a genuine smile stitched on Bree's face as she stood by the terrace door. The morning sun gleaming against her skin, I noticed she was happy. Happy that Cayden and my laugh filled the voids of the empty walls of her house with real joy.
****
livadao that kiss scene was fully dedicated to you!
I hope you all liked this chapter!
We've had sixteen slightly peaceful chapters where Maya has built herself up and into the person she always wanted to be and has perhaps even found happiness. But the drama is yet to begin. Look out for the upcoming chapters with tons of plot twists and shocking reveals.
What do you guys think will happen?
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