42. Buried In Guilt

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"I've always liked quiet people

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"I've always liked quiet people. You never know if they're dancing in a daydream or if they're carrying the weight of the world."
-John Green


The next day, I spent the whole school day in my bedroom, seated lazily cross-legged on the floor with gray sweatpants and a white tank top while my hair was a supremely messy donut on top of my head. I had invested myself in opening my shoebox filled with my quotes collection. I had laid them all out on the floor in front of me and searching for more on Pinterest while shoving Oreos and licorice into my mouth.

This was what I called a "buried in guilt" day.

My biology books were pushed safely behind me under the bed, so the guilt of not studying for the final test I had next week would stop bothering me. How to not feel bad about not studying? Push the books out of your sight. If you don't look at them, you won't feel guilty.

I was munching on two Oreos while scrolling down on my Pinterest account page on my laptop when there was a small knock on the door.

In my head, I said, "Come in!"

It came out more like, "mmin!"

Cayden opened the door slightly and poked his head inside, his eyes scanning my room till they landed on me seated on the floor with chipmunk cheeks. His lips curved into a smile. "Hey."

I was about to open my mouth to greet him back, but when I realized my mouth was full of crunched Oreo, I offered him a smile and a small wave.

He slipped inside and closed the door behind him. I took him in as he made his way over to me. His backpack was slung over his shoulders and he wore dark jeans and the maroon red hoodie that Bree once commented on that it made his eyes pop. His hood was over his head as always, concealing the hair cut that made him look younger and cuter.

He dropped his backpack on the bed and sat down next to me. After eyeing all the quotes displayed before him on the floor and the empty pink shoebox, realization slowly stroked him and his head snapped to me. His widened eyes met mine. "Holy shit. It's the secret shoebox."

After I swallowed the munched Oreos in my mouth, I couldn't help but laugh a little by the sight of his stunned face. "Yep. This is it."

"Can I...?" He looked at me, at the shoebox, then back at me.

I nodded. "Sure."

He grabbed the shoebox and clutched it again his chest, almost starstruck. He breathed in its smell. "I've always wondered what it would be like to hold it."

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