45. Moving On

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"Maybe life isn't about the bruises

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"Maybe life isn't about the bruises. Maybe it's about collecting the scars to prove we showed up for it."


The next day, I was restlessly sitting on my bay window, trying to spot Cayden's car as he was going to drive me and be my moral support before I said goodbye and apologized to Heaven for the last time before she left.

Let's just say anxiety was choking me at the moment.

I was almost knocked down on the floor when I heard a soft knock on the door. With a shaky voice, I said, "Come in!"

The door gently swung open and there stood dad in the doorway with a coffee paper cup in his hand and a warm smile on his face. "I was just wondering if you wanted some tomato soup with extra macaroni and salt?"

"You put it in a coffee cup?" I asked as he stepped inside and walked over to me.

"I thought you could maybe drink it on the way to Heaven's. Help you stay calm."

I smiled and accepted it. "Thanks, dad."

"You look so nervous and scared," he said, frowning.

I inhaled a shaky breath. "I am nervous and scared. I just...I guess I just wanted to fix everything between us, but I just made it worse. Clearly, she suffered the most-"

"-Hey," dad cut me off by putting his hand on my knee. "You were given this second chance at life to make everything right. And you have made everything right by doing your best and putting in so much effort. What you did to Heaven had terrible consequences, but so did what she did to you. But it's not about who suffered the most here. It's about putting it behind us and moving on. Heaven is on her way to get better. You are going to get better. It's all going to be okay."

It's all going to be okay.

Why was my mind having such a hard time believing this?

"Bullying is a scar on someone. Both on the victim and the bully," he added.

He was right. I scarred her when I destroyed her and while doing so, I scarred myself.

"But that doesn't mean me we can't let those scars remain on us, learn from them, but the past behind us and move on. It's good that you feel guilty and regret what you did. I'll always regret leaving you too, but we can't let that guilt and regret bring us down and stop us from moving forward to live the life we always wanted to live. Life's too short for that. Alright?"

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