I was sitting on the unmade bed, staring at the cream wall in front of me. The colour would have been beautiful in the beginning with rays of sunshine shining through the window above but now the cream was dull and its edges peeled away giving rise to the dirty grey beneath.
The real wall was ugly and eventually all the paint in the world would not be able to cover its ugliness. In the end the paint would fade and the undesirable grey would rear its true face for the world to see.
I focused on the splotches of faded stains and ink marks that would have been someone's scribbles before it was covered with the cream.
It was dirty and stained and yet it was strangely more captivating than the cream paint covering it. The grey had a story to tell, the grey had been through more than the cream ever will.
Which begged the question; did time make everything uglier?
Would I have made the same choices as Zayn if I was a vampire, made to live forever and feed on human blood?
There was a part of me that screamed blasphemy at him for making me go through what I did for the past few months. But there was also the part of me who tried to understand him, who sympathized with the pain in his eyes and the longing in his voice.
It was definitely the stupider part of me but it was there, puncturing my heart with a needle and hanging it by a thread.
It was never just me. He has tortured and killed so many others.
But he saved me. He risked his life, his existence for me. That had to mean something, right?
My head throbbed as I held it in my hands, unable to look at the wall anymore.
I heard the bathroom door shut and turned around to see Harry walking out in nothing but his jeans. His short hair was wet and he shook it out, letting water droplets fall over his bare chest.
It was the first time I'd seen this much of him. His cheeks reddened slightly and he pretended not to notice as I took in his firm chest and chiseled stomach but really all I was thinking about was the grey paint with its scribbles.
Harry's tattoo's reminded me of them. They told a story only he would ever really know about.
I wanted to know what made Zayn do something so horrible. I wanted to know what scarred him to make such a decision. If he was just plain evil, why would he be here with us, running away from a council who wanted him to join them?
I lay down for a while feeling my head swim with questions that were making me dizzy.
The bed dipped beside me and I turned around to see Harry watching me.
"How are you feeling?" He asked carefully in a soft voice as if he were afraid speaking any louder would break me.
"I don't know," I replied honestly, feeling slightly numb. "I'd always wanted to prove that I wasn't crazy but I didn't expect the truth to hurt so much."
"I know it's scary to realize you have been right all along. Just like I was with my father," Harry said but his eyes were clouded and I couldn't gauge how he really felt.
"At least you know he didn't leave for you and your mother for someone else," I offered in solace.
"Yeah, I guess. But it isn't really a happy ending, is it? I mean he's still out there somewhere. I don't even know if I will ever see him again," His voice broke and I wanted to reach out to him but I was too numb to move.
We remained silent, both of us too preoccupied with our own thoughts until he spoke again.
"Do you have feelings for him?" Harry asked.
"For Zayn?" I felt a bubble growing in my chest, stealing all the air from my lungs and threatening to implode. All I had to do was say his name and his smile filled my vision, his voice filled my ears and I felt his fingers on my skin.
"How could you ask me that? After everything we just heard? After everything he did," I defended angrily.
Harry's eye's widened in shock at my reaction and he lifted his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, it's just I thought you would be happier realizing you weren't crazy."
"I am happy," I lied. "I'm just in shock and I don't know what's going to happen. Are we going to survive or get killed by a bunch of assholes who think they have the right to play with our lives?"
"You're right," He muttered. "It would be great if they were exposed and everyone found out that they've been screwing up our lives and feeding on us the whole time."
I nodded my head thinking that might not be such a bad idea after all. If we could expose them then it would make it so much harder for them to kill us quietly.
"You know he's probably listening in on us right now," Harry mumbled sleepily.
"I don't care," I lied again. I scooted closer to Harry and gave him a small smile. I didn't move away when I felt his arms circle me and hug me tightly. I then closed my eyes and listened to the sound of his beating heart.
It was fast paced, loud and very much alive.
I closed my eyes and forced away all thoughts of what was going to happen tomorrow and eventually fell asleep in Harry's arms.
I woke with a start, thankful that the thousand vampires biting my whole body was a nightmare.
A bead of sweat ran down my cheek and I sat up and wiped it away with the back of my hand. That was when I saw the outline of a human shadow by the wall next to me.
My eyes widened in fear, wondering if we had been caught already but then I saw the signature black jacket lying beside the unmoving figure. I sat up to face Zayn, placing my feet on the floor a few feet away from his.
"Please tell me you're not watching us sleep?" I tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes as I whispered at him. I cast a wary glance behind to check if Harry was asleep. He lay on his front and soft snores escaped his mouth.
"I tried to give you your space but I couldn't relax knowing you were in another room where I couldn't see you. I'm sorry, it's a habit I developed when I started watching you," Zayn sighed.
"You mean when you started hunting me," I bit back angrily.
"Rosalie, I know no amount of apologies will ever suffice for what I've done to you. But you must know that I am sorry and I would rather die than hurt you again," He whispered in a voice thick with emotion.
"I'm trying to understand your actions but I just can't," I admitted after a few seconds of us staring at each other in silence. "Why are you helping us now? Why the sudden change of heart?"
"I always thought the vampires who got attached to humans and were punished had inflicted their circumstances upon themselves." He chuckled softly but the pain in his voice made me think he was crying.
I got up and sat down next to him, eager to hear the words that were coming out of his mouth softly.
"I've never had the chance to experience the love they claimed to feel. Maybe in a way my judgement of them was in fact a mask to hide my jealousy. I have only ever entertained the thought of love with someone I knew a long time ago but death took her away from me. For years I searched for something or someone who could replicate the feeling I had for her but I never could. It made me angry, desperate, and depressed and after years of pain, I became devoid of all emotion. I was a shell, living day to day with no expectations aside from drinking blood so that I wouldn't starve to death painfully."
I felt a lump form in my throat. It reminded me of the first time I'd ever seen him vulnerable. He was drunk and he had rambled on about three girls who had fed him milk when he was starving. I wondered if he was talking about one of them.
"I guess the hatred never really went away. Even though I thought I felt nothing, there was always this bitter aftertaste in my mouth every time I saw two people happily in love, especially humans. Your time is fleeting and it makes you feel things like love more than we do. I think it's what draws us vampires to humans more than blood. We feed of your abundance of feelings because we have none of our own," Zayn's eyes were down cast, focusing on the floor in front of us.
"You were an unexpected surprise, Rosalie. You made me feel things I've never felt before, not even with her. I know I put you through hell, but I want you to know, every moment spent with you felt like heaven to me. You made me feel like I deserved the emotions flooding through my veins. You made me feel like I deserved happiness and even though I knew it wouldn't last, a foolish part of me wanted more. Risking my life and exposure, abandoning the council, saving Harry, I would do it a hundred times over if it meant keeping you alive."
"Zayn," I gasped, unsure of what to say in response but he cut me off.
He took my hand in his and I felt a million tingles shoot up my arm making me shiver.
"I know I hurt you but I will spend the rest of my days making it up to you by keeping you safe."
Awww a Hasalie and Zasalie moment in one chapter. I wonder who you guys ship more? I myself can't decide :) :) Anyway hope you enjoyed the chapter!