Faye was running late, she should have been out the door five minutes previous. She had a feeling it was going to be one of those days. She grabbed her keys and backpack from the kitchen chair and charged down the steps. She hated to be late. She was never late.
As she reached the bottom of the steps, she dropped her keys in the bushes at the base of the stairs and she said a little curse as she bent down on her hands and knees to search for them. She was halfway under the bush, her hands feeling around in the dirt when she heard the apartment door open and she froze.
Silas was back, she didn't know he was back. It had been three long weeks since he had kissed her, three long weeks since she had seen him. Her heart started to beat erratically. What would she say, how should she act?
Then she heard voices. It sounded like Chloe's voice. They were talking softly, almost whispering and Faye couldn't hear what they were saying. Her hands landed on the keys and she jumped up, she didn't want them to think she was spying on them. She walked towards the gate quickly but darted a look over her shoulder at them as she did. Silas was holding Chloe in his arms and when Faye's eyes met his he didn't let go of Chloe or step back. He let his eyes take in Faye's appearance, not calling out to her or stopping her as she unlocked the gate and closed it softly behind her.
Faye had no clue if Chloe had seen her or not, but she didn't think that she had.
She would refuse to think about the situation. She would act as if none if it happened, including the kiss three weeks previous. It had obviously meant nothing and something that had filled her with such joy and hope now filled her with terrible guilt.
Of course, she did think about it all the way to work. Perhaps Chloe's father was ill and Silas was comforting her, maybe it was an innocent embrace, one of a friend. She shouldn't jump to conclusions.
Chloe was due in at eleven o'clock and Faye did her best to keep her hands and mind occupied with work until she arrived. Lia went to lunch first and as she left the ER, head downbent, Faye realized that she had been acting odd all week, perhaps something serious was going on with Ben. She should pull her head out of the clouds and start to be the friend that she had always prided herself on being, and not wrapped up in some imaginary world where stolen kisses mattered.
When Chloe arrived, Faye spent half an hour going over everything that was happening in the department, and when Chloe didn't bring up her early morning visit to Silas, Faye guessed that she hadn't seen her witnessing the embrace. Faye didn't have the nerve to ask about her father for fear that she might say he was fine and the little bit of hope she had tucked away would vanish.
Faye knew it was only a matter of time before Silas showed up and she hoped she could buy herself another hour, so she asked Chloe if she was good and then excused herself for her lunch. She might be able to catch up with Lia for the last half of hers and see what had been troubling her.
As Faye walked to the cafeteria, she heard a massive boom from the thunderstorm that was raging overhead. She hadn't heard it in the ER, but now she took a moment to stop at one of the windows as she passed and watch the downpour. It suited her mood.
Part of her wished the storm had happened earlier that morning, then she would have missed the scene between Silas and Chloe and she would still be in her little dream-filled world. With a heavy sigh, she pushed away from the window and entered the cafeteria. Her eyes immediately landed on Lia and with her was Silas. So much for delaying having to see him.
They looked as if they were having a serious discussion, and since neither one of them noticed her she would buy her lunch and then take it back to the break room. She picked out something small since she didn't have much of an appetite and moved hurriedly to the cashier, but as she was finishing paying Lia looked up, spotted Faye, and waved.
Faye saw her and was forced to wave back, shooting Dr. DeGraff a quick look before moving in their direction. She knew she didn't have a choice in the matter. Lia would wonder what was up if she didn't join them.
"Hey, I only have a few minutes, so I have to eat quick," she said as she sat next to Lia, she could at least limit the time she spent in his presence. She darted a quick look at him and the look he shot her was piercing. Faye didn't realize that the hurt she felt was evident in her return stare, she thought she was playing it cool.
When he rose quickly from his seat it caught her off guard. Perhaps the thought of staying was too uncomfortable. Although, she didn't think there was much that he would ever feel uncomfortable about.
"I too only had a few minutes. Miss Haven, Miss Brantley," he said, before turning to leave.
"A quarter till eight at Moon River you won't forget?" Lia asked as he stepped away.
Faye felt her hand clench around her water bottle as she looked out the window and away from them. Now she really was hurt, he had seen Chloe, who had known he had returned when she hadn't, and now he and Lia had a date.
"I'll be there," he assured her then walked away, his long stride making quick work of the cafeteria.
Faye got up and moved across from Lia, looking at her between bites of food that she forced herself to eat.
"You look worried," she noted. "Anything I can help with?" Faye hoped the question wasn't coming too late to be included on what was going on.
"No, Dr. DeGraff is going to help me," Lia said absentmindedly.
She and Faye finished their meal in silence, with Lia's mind on something else, and when she was done, she got up and left Faye with a few distracted words of farewell.
Faye sat at the table and tried her best not to cry. She had lost the hope of romance, if there ever had been such a thing, and now she felt as if she was losing her friends too.
She rubbed her aching head, wishing she could rewind time and tell Chloe no when she had asked if Silas could stay, but what would have been the use, she still would have met him, and she still would have fallen in love with him, because that must be what the ache in her chest was all about.
She loved him and he would rather spend more time with her friends than with her, at least that was how it felt because every time he saw her he walked away or he let her walk away. Even after the kiss, he had let her walk away without a word.
Faye couldn't bring herself to move from where she sat at the table, staring vacantly out at the storm and as she watched lightning streak the sky, she picked up her trash crumpling it in her hand, it was her only allowance to the frustration that was overwhelming her.
He had kissed her, she didn't think he was a man to kiss a woman lightly. In fact, most everything he did regarding women was to warn them off, his aloofness to the point of rudeness, his lack of friendly conversation and polite smiles, it was all meant to keep people away, so why on earth would he kiss her? Unless he was interested in her, but if he was, then why didn't he tell her he was interested or that had returned to town for that matter?
It was all so confusing and hurtful, she swallowed hard as she fought back tears once more.
She didn't know how long she sat alone, but the dining area of the cafeteria had emptied significantly and there were only a handful of people left. She should get back, her lunchtime was almost up if it wasn't already.
"I thought you only had a few minutes," Silas's voice said softly behind her.
"I lied," she said, and her voice came out roughly from all the unshed tears.
"How have you been Faye?" he asked as he sat across from her. She refused to look at him, keeping her gaze trained out the window. She knew she had to look at him, otherwise, he would know how upset she was, and she had a feeling that she needed to guard her heart now more than ever.
"I'm fine Dr. DeGraff, how was your trip? Were the twins glad to be back home?" she asked as she put on her best game face, forced a smile to her lips, and made herself meet his eyes.
He regarded her silently for a moment and Faye met his gaze without flinching.
"You're upset," he said softly.
She wanted to scream duh at him, tell him he was a jackass, hit him, but she couldn't because It wasn't in her nature to do any of those things.
"No, I'm fine," she insisted, pushing up and out of her chair, not caring if he followed her or not. She waved to a friend who waved to her and threw her trash away as she passed the trashcan on her way out the door.
"Can't you admit when you're upset Faye?" he asked as he followed her lead.
"What could I possibly have to be upset about?" Faye questioned as she pushed through the door to the stairwell.
"I kissed you and then left, I didn't speak to you for three weeks, then when you finally did see me again, I was consoling Chloe, and then again setting up drinks with Lia."
Faye frowned at the consoling Chloe part of his statement, what did Chloe need to be consoled about? Had she been right about that?
"And after all that I have said, you are now more worried about Chloe than yourself, aren't you?"
Faye stopped short and turned, causing him to bump into her and when he did, he didn't step out of her space, instead, he did some quick maneuvering and had her on the step above him as he spun her and put his hand in the small of her back, pulling her close.
"It was just a kiss she mumbled, it was nothing special." But she couldn't meet his eyes as she said it because they both knew she was only trying to save face.
"It was special to me Faye," he said softly, "and I would kiss you right now if we were somewhere a little more private. I wanted to kiss you this morning, but Chloe needed help at that moment, and earlier in the cafeteria, I wanted to comfort you, explain, tell you it was all alright, but I couldn't in front of Lia. That's why I left so quickly, so I wouldn't."
She looked up at him with eyes that were rounded with awed shock. He took a deep breath and then mumbled a word she didn't recognize but sounded a little bit like an oath as he pulled her even closer and kissed her hard.
It only lasted a moment and ended before Faye could reciprocate.
"Be mad at me Faye, it's alright, you're allowed to be hurt and mad and confused. Lord knows I am confused, but don't ignore me or pretend that it all isn't happening." His plea was passionate and once again unlike him as he gave her arms a squeeze. She swore he wanted to shake her a little.
"You once accused me of feeling deeply, but you feel just as deeply, don't you?" she asked softly, looking into his heated grey eyes.
"For a long time I didn't, Faye, but I'm starting to remember how, and like you accepting that someone can be interested in you and desire you, there is a bit of a learning curve for me as well." He gave a lopsided smile that went right to her heart.
She swallowed and licked her lips as she looked at his shirt front. "Does that mean you're interested in me and that you desire me?" she asked shyly.
"Yes Faye, that's what I mean. I find you sweet and funny, charming and kind, and lovely to look at, is that so hard to believe?"
"Yes," she said simply. "No one has ever found to me to be so before, so why would you?"
"Because I'm smarter than most people," he said, completely seriously.
Faye couldn't help herself as she laughed aloud just as she heard the door below them open and someone come hurrying up the steps. It was Chloe who rounded the corner, stopping suddenly when she saw them, a little out of breath.
"There you are Faye, we're slammed, can you come back we have an MVC with serious injuries and a possible fatality. Can you stay Silas?" she asked.
"I can stay, but I don't know how much help I'll be since I can't treat patients." He stood aside for Faye to proceed him and he placed his hand in the small of her back causing a little thrill to shoot up her spine at the hidden intimacy in it. To anyone else, it would have looked like a polite gesture, but to Faye, there was an undertone of caring or possessiveness, but she wasn't sure which of the two was more prominent.
She had to keep herself from second-guessing her thoughts as she replayed his words in her head. He was interested in her and he desired her. They weren't words of love, but they were something.
Although, he still hadn't fully explained what had happened with Chloe and Lia.
Once they arrived in the ER she didn't have a chance to think about anything. They were too busy, and it stayed that way for the rest of her shift, and she watched as Lia left the ER later with a quick word to Silas.
He was still having drinks with Lia, and he had said nothing about them going out again. Perhaps he didn't want people to know that he was interested in her, but if that was the case then why was he being open about his outings with Lia and Chloe?
And just like that doubt reared its ugly head once more.
As Silas looked away from Lia, he looked right at Faye and caught her watching him, but Faye looked away so quickly that she missed his frown.