None of what happened was my fault.
Well, that's what I tell myself anyways.
In my mind, it wasn't my fault that I'd gone and "borrowed" the worst possible getaway car, and it certainly wasn't my fault that I was currently driving that very same car down a small, windy, dangerous country road after dark – that was just a matter of bad navigational skills. It also wasn't my fault that I was heading outbound of Melbourne, still rather confused at my exact whereabouts as I glanced over at the green numbers illuminating the dashboard.
"Half-past twelve," I muttered. That meant I was still roughly an hour ahead of the police, and to be honest, I didn't know how much longer this damned truck would hold up for. The air that flowed in through the gap in the window was cold and harsh, reaffirming the apprehensive feeling knotting my stomach into a rope.
I glanced at the passenger seat and its lonely occupant. I'd much rather prefer if it was a dead rat, but no. My stupid ass had gotten myself in deep trouble when I pulled off this stunt. I pushed my glasses further up my nose and sighed, gritting my teeth.
"Stupid yellow file," I slithered through them, observing the crunched papers next to me. "Never trust your gut, I tell you. You hear that, God? I promise this wasn't intentional!"
I shook my head. I really was screwed. My philosophy of stealing the right information, my information, would theoretically get me out of trouble. But apparently that wasn't the case when you put Butch Green in charge of his own escape heist. Sometimes mistakes aren't worth a second thought, but when those mistakes lead to your demise, you definitely know it shouldn't be worth it.
I sighed, biting my lip.
"You and I are like two peas in a pod," I said to the file. "Both too dangerous for our own good. Well, perhaps not me, I couldn't hurt an orange if I tried, it'd just end up taking revenge on me and somehow, it'd squirt me in the face with citrus juice. But you, oh you, well...you're well and truly fucked my friend."
I patted it reassuringly as it sat there staring blankly back at me from the cosy bubble of its own freedom. It certainly was tasting freedom by this point - and my terrible driving skills. I only wanted to return the damned bugger, but now I feared that if I got caught my scrawny arse would be sent straight to jail. Or worse - if the other guys tailgating me on the highway found me.
I shivered, hoping anyone currently passing me on the road would just assume I was some teenage boy, newly licensed, going out for a joyride in his dad's banged-up Ute. They'd be stupid to think that at all. First off, let's get one thing straight; I don't have a license. Hell, I didn't even pass the computerized learner's test after five tries! Waste of a hundred bucks if you ask me.
But that didn't matter. My driving skills didn't matter. Keeping from getting shot mattered and every second I managed to drive the car on the right side of the road was an achievement in itself. The road was covered in black ice which made it impeccably hard to steer as I slipped and slid across the roads' frosty surface. I have so far managed to avoid crashing the car, and I hope it stays that way, but the possibility of that ever happening is slim.
I can't see much more than a meter in front of me, and I leaned over the steering wheel with a certain squinting twitch in the hopes that it would make it easier for me to see the ground spontaneously appearing below the car. But I think the point of genius runaway kid ends there.
I bit my lip, looking up at the frost beginning to crack at the edges of the windshield and then at the mist that danced across the broken beam of light from the only working headlight. A beaded necklace with a silver cross hung from the rear-view mirror, banging against the windscreen with each pothole in the most irritating way. I eyed it off; a flash in the mirror catching the silver of the cross and reflecting straight into my pupil.
"Fuck!" I murmured angrily, rubbing my poor eye with my spare hand.
An anxious pit deep inside my stomach slowly grew as I realized it could be them. The agents. The one's from the highway that I knew were trailing me. I had their stolen file - not my own - and they wanted the retched thing back. Well, not tonight fuckers! Almost automatically, my foot pressed down harder on the gas until a little figure in my peripheral vision snapped at my attention span.
A Hawaiian hula girl sat perched on the dashboard, her head bouncing around with every jolt, and her glossy, fat stomach swinging in the opposite direction. It was the single most disturbing bobble-head I've ever seen; worse than the one of Sco-Mo in a pink dress. Her face smiled rosily at me, but her eyes scrutinized every move I made.
"What?" I said aggressively to her, narrowing my eyes.
She continued to bobble her little happy face rudely with every jolt.
"Right. That's it! If you're not going to comply with my request and deal with my driving capabilities, which by the way are excellent, then I guess you're going to go out the window," I said, plucking her from her perch and tossing her out the ajar glass.
I was wrong to do that, however, because the moment I did, the truck lurched into a particularly large pothole. The yellow file that had been sitting quietly on the seat beside me bounced off the red leather cushioning, letting all of its contents spew out onto the car's floor.
I looked down at it, my eye catching on a piece of paper. It was the most terrifying one. A pear-shaped face peeked back at me. She was hidden behind the most hideous scribbled green crayon monster. I frowned.
"When on earth did I draw that one?"
I sighed knowing I was too tired to remember ever getting a little creative with some dangerous information.
A jolt of the car turned my attention back to the expanding road. It flowed out like a never-ending piece of ribbon, winding in and out of the dense woodland trees. The number of houses decreased into a sparse scattering and coupled with the eeriness of the tall Australian eucalyptus trees, I felt like I was heading straight down into Hell. The lonesome beam of light caught the reflection of two beady red eyes, reminding me of the Creepypasta involving a deranged cat. I shuddered as the animal stared me down from its perch on the tree branch. I passed by underneath; a large dollop of possum faeces landing on the windshield.
"Oh, come on!" I yelled in frustration as the turd created a streak down my line of vision. I intently stared at the road, trying to see through the brown mess, but I only scowled, letting it take my vision down the windscreen and to a flicker of light. My eyes slowly wandered over to the one lonely beam of radiance as it flickered more profusely from the car.
"No! No! No! Come on girl! Hold in there! You can do it!" I shouted out over the steering wheel.
The light appeared to stabilize itself for a second, before flickering rapidly again as if it were thinking of a response.
"Oh, come on boy! I believe in you!"
I shook my head watching as the light stabilized again.
"What am I doing?" I whispered under my breath, conscious this time not to damage the truck's feelings and misplace its gender title.
Flickering one last time, the light went off, leaving me driving blindly in the dark.
"Fuck!" I hit the car's steering wheel, stamping down hard on the brakes. The wheels screeched and moaned, begging for me to stop. The strain was taking its toll as I skidded along, smoke billowing from beneath me for several feet. The black ice tried to maintain traction with the tyres, before I came to an abrupt halt in the middle of the road.
Slowly, I let out a breath of air and slumped back into the chair a little too hard. It bounced, as if on springs, before it gave way, and I was lying at an awkward angle facing the ceiling.
I sighed.
"You stupid piece of shit," I cursed, reaching up to the roof to find the little cabin light and its switch. I flicked it back and forth waiting for something to happen. Nothing. Closing my eyes, I leaned over and felt my way over to the glove box.
"You couldn't have picked a worse car!" I mused as I found and tugged on the glove box lever. My attempts became more rapid and frenzied until the lock gave way and the hatch dropped open, limp. It wasn't an ideal situation. Anything could be in that glove box.
I was on the verge of throwing up, but I needed light. I needed to man up and stick my hand in there.
"One...two...three..."
Squeezing my eyes closed and grimacing, I grabbed my wrist and gingerly forced my hand into the gaping black hole. I padded around and was somewhat relieved to only find a few bits of paper and the familiar feel of a torch. Whoever owned this truck was smart.
Relieved at the discovery, I clambered out of the vehicle and almost fell over on the ice. Steadying myself against the side of the car, I lifted my knee and carefully placed it back down a short distance away; much like a child does on creaky floorboards. It was an effort to trudge around to the left beam without face planting into the ground. I crouched in front of it, before reaching out and tinkering around with the globe, but there was still no sign of life.
"Come on you useless piece of crap!" I urged, becoming increasingly more annoyed at the truck. "This is no time to have feelings!"
Still, it refused to spring to life. I took a side sweep around the side of the car, gazing out through the trees and spotted a series of blinking lights reflecting back at me in the dead cold air. My stomach turned. They were closer than I thought.
"Fuck it!" I said, giving up at the truck's reluctance. It was then, in that split-second, I swear to God I thought I'd made the best decision of my entire life as I slid over to the right beam. Swiftly, I punched the rear-end of the torch handle through the glass of the headlight and left it cradled snugly there.
Stepping back, I smiled. This was a job well done.
But my smile quickly faded as I became aware of the loud thrum of another car slowly getting closer. Crap! I'd stopped for too long trying to fix this goddamn dodgy piece of shit!
As fast as the ice would allow me to travel, I climbed back into the rustic Ute and pushed down on the accelerator. The engine roared in protest and the wheels squealed against my will. This beast wasn't going anywhere.
"What now?" I groaned at the car.
I tried again, this time more desperately as I turned the key and pushed down on the accelerator. A faint pair of beams blinked in and out of the trees through the reflection in the rear-view mirror, getting closer. There were no decorative lights and the string of vehicles were coming on too fast for them to be regular commuters. I gulped – this wasn't the Police.
Making a last-ditch effort, I left the keys where they were, not bothering to turn off the engine, and grabbed my backpack, stuffing the spilled all-too-important file into it.
This wasn't going to fall into their hands. I wouldn't allow it. I'd run across the continent if it meant stopping them. If I had to be James Bond in real life, then I'd do it. This was my mistake and I wasn't going to let them release whatever it was they were working on into the world. I didn't have a choice - I had to be Bond in one of his live-action movies. I was going to be the hero and the criminals were going down at all costs.
They knew how dangerous this file could be, and they wanted it. I'd simply done them the favour of getting to it first. A young, somewhat handsome, teenage boy had gotten to it before they could utter 'Beef Jerky', and they weren't happy their bargaining tool was missing.
I glimpsed over my shoulder at the entourage of slick black vans screeching towards the abandoned ute like giant black panthers. My heart skipped a beat as my eyes registered that this threat was real. They weren't just tailing me anymore - they were here, and they were ready to kill me.
-----------------------------------------------
Hey lovely Wattpadians! This is the first, and newly edited chapter in my story Being Butch Green! I hope you're curious enough to continue reading and that you liked Butch's character so far. Don't forget to hit that vote button and follow me to get new notifications on chapter posts!
I also really love feedback on my stories, so if you have any suggestions, please comment away! I really do love hearing from you guys! ~H.W.