Hey guys, I just wanna warn you that there will be some rough sex scene, a rape, if you will. There's a warning sign so if you don't wanna read it, then don't.
*****
I don't know what to feel anymore...
I should be happy since I'm now with Josh. Plus he's been nothing but a great boyfriend. So why do I keep finding myself sad because of Vic? Why all I do is think about his soft kisses? We were together for maybe a month or so, therefore I shouldn't have that strong feelings towards him, yet here I am.
I guess it just kind of confuses me because I fucking hate that guy for breaking up with me without a fucking reason or explanation. But on the other hand I still wonder if he's sad just like me or if he's also found some boyfriend. Even though I don't want him to date anyone else but me. When you form it that way, it sounds pretty selfish, but it's true, I do not want him to date any other guy.
And yes, I am aware of my relationship with Josh as well. I don't think it's fair towards Josh that all I think about is Vic. But maybe Josh knew that I won't be able to fully focus on just himself when he kissed me those two weeks ago. Told ya he was a great boyfriend. Except for the hiding so we didn't get caught, we actually had a lot of fun these past days. He'd taken me on couple of dates, I've been to his house once as well and don't even get me started on the hot make out sessions in his office.
This all would be like a dream come true if it weren't for Vic who was on my mind 24/7.
Oh, and speaking of the devil...
"Hey." I heard a quiet voice say next to me. I could recognise that voice everywhere.
"Hi, Vic." I greeted him back as he sat next to me. There was enough empty chairs in the class, why the hell did he have to sit next to me? "Not to be rude, but what the fuck are you doing here?" I shot him an annoyed look. He's not even in this class.
(A/N: Oh my god, this reminded me so much of "She doesn't even go here" from Mean Girls.)
He seemed hesitant at first, but answered eventually. "I just wanted to, I don't know, talk?" Oh, so he ignores me for two weeks and then he wants to talk. Nice.
"And why do you think I want to talk to you, huh?" I questioned. I know I was making him uncomfortable, but I couldn't help it.
"I-I, uhm, I don't...look, I just wanted you to know that we can still be friends and stuff so you can call me anytime you want or if you need help, like a normal friend." He said with a sad smile. Why in the hell did he seem so distressful? As far as I know, he broke up with me.
"As if." I muttered under my breath, not sure if he'd heard it.
"My fuckin' god, stop it!" He yelled at me in frustration. I nearly jumped from my seat as he raised his voice. I looked at him questioningly. "Why are you so mean towards me?"
"Are you fucking serious? Oh, let me think about it, maybe because you broke my fucking heart?! Twice in one day?!" I yelled back at him. He then looked down at his lap regretfully.
"M'sorry." He nearly whispered. "It wasn't my choice." He said, got up from his seat and exited the class, leaving me more confused than ever. How does he mean that? It wasn't his choice? Then whose?
*****
I've been thinking about Vic's words for the whole period, I mean, who else's choice should that be? And more importantly, why did Vic let them tell him what to do? It's his life for Christ's sake. Maybe I could ask him.
After the period ended, I grabbed my bag and jacket and made my way out of the classroom, walking towards Vic's class. I took a look inside the class as I arrived in there, but it was already empty. I decided to check the parking lot since it was his last period. I started making my way towards the exit and right when I was about to walk outside, I saw Vic. In his car. Already leaving. God damn it. I'll just ask him at Monday then.
With that, I turned around and made my way over to Josh's office. His door was opened and he was sitting at his desk, reading a book. I smiled to myself and knocked on the door lightly, just to get his attention. His head shot up and he smiled as he saw me.
"Hey you." He greeted me. I closed and locked the door behind me as I stepped inside, walking over to him.
"Hi." I smiled and kissed him softly. He didn't hesitate with deepening the kiss. He pulled me onto his lap and I locked my arms around his neck. I really tried to enjoy it, but my head was filled with thoughts like 'Vic has much softer lips than Josh' or 'What would Vic think if he saw me?'. I then pulled away and smiled at him slightly before I realised why I came there in the first place.
"Can we go or you still have a work?" I asked him, standing up again and leaning against his table.
"We can go." He smiled. I nodded and he began picking up his stuff. I was actually pretty excited, he told me that we can hang out at his house today and watch movies or do whatever. "Alright, I'm ready." He said and we both made our way out of his office. We took the exit that led to the teachers' parking lot, walking over to his car. We got in and he started the engine.
The whole ride, I couldn't get Vic out of my mind. He just seemed so vulnerable earlier that day which was uncommon. I wonder who could possibly make Vic break up with me. Maybe it was h...
"We're here." Josh smiled as we pulled over in front of his two storey house. Last time I was there, it seemed kind of odd to me that he could afford house like that. He was a teacher after all so he didn't make much money, but he told me that it used to be his parents' house before they moved to Florida.
The house was quite nice and surprisingly clean as well. He had two bedrooms, each with its own bathroom, kitchen and living room with a big black couch for like eight people. I would totally feel a bit lonely in a house like that, but Josh seemed okay with the size of his home.
"Make yourself at home, I'll find something to eat and then we can watch a movie, is that alright?" He asked as we entered his living room. I just nodded in response and sat on the couch. I kinda felt like a small child, like I wasn't privileged to touch anything. Luckily, Josh quickly returned with a bag of chips and lemonade. I knew he wouldn't give me any alcohol since I'm still underage.
"Let's go upstairs, shall we?" He asked in his thick British accent.
"Sure." I smiled at him and got up from the couch, following Josh into his bedroom. I actually haven't been there yet. We stepped inside and I was greeted by a king-sized bed right in front of me with a bedside table on each side. There also was a TV on the wall next to the door, a dresser and some clothes on the floor.
I laid on the bed and waited for Josh to join me. He put some movie in the DVD player and laid next to me. I rested my head on his chest and began eating the chips that he placed between us.
I'm not gonna lie, the movie was pretty boring if you ask me. I, of course, haven't told him so, but I was fucking bored...it's been like ten minutes since the movie started...what do I do for next hour and half?
"Hey Josh?" I tried to get his attention.
"Yea?" He asked, still focusing on the film. I gave him a small peck on his cheek and he smiled, looking at me. "What was that for?" He asked.
WARNING
I just shrugged and kissed him again, this time on his lips. He cupped my cheek and kissed me back. I climbed on top of him and straddled him while he held my hips. He then brushed his tongue along my bottom lip, asking for entrance and I parted my lips slightly so his tongue could slip in. Catching me off guard, he flipped us over so he was on the top and he began rolling his lips into mine which caused me to moan into his mouth. His hand then travelled onto the front of my jeans, palming me through my jeans. I quickly pulled away from him.
"Wait, I-I don't want to, you know." I said, feeling embarassed.
"Don't be afraid, babe, it will hurt only for a while, you'll enjoy it." He went to kiss me again, but I stopped him.
"Josh, I really don't want to do this just yet." I admitted.
"Don't worry, it will feel good." He attacked my lips again, I didn't kiss back though, I was more focused on what to do. I didn't want to have sex with him, yet here he was, unbuckling my jeans. He pulled them down along with my boxers and I immediately felt much more vulnerable. Then he pulled away so he could take his own clothes off.
"Please, Josh, don't do this. I'm not ready." I pleaded as the first tears began rolling down my cheek. He ignored me and reached out for something in his bedside table. I just watched through my tearful eyes as he pulled out a condom and lube. He then put the condom on and poured some of the liquid on his member, stroking himself a little.
I couldn't do anything else but whimper quietly underneath him as he held my hips. He then positioned himself and without a warning, he thrusted into me roughly. I cried out in pain and tried to pull him off of me, but it was useless because he just grabbed my wrists and pinned then above my head as he kept pushing inside of me.
"Oh m-my, Kells, you're s-so tight." He moaned into my ear which sent shivers down my spine. I was just praying for the torture to end already.
A couple of moans, thrusts and shitload of tears later, he finally pulled out of me, taking off the condom and stroking himself until he came. He then got up and put his clothes on again. I felt like I couldn't move, I just laid there in shock. How could he do this? I clearly told him that I didn't want to have sex with him.
END OF WARNING
He went to give me a kiss, but I pushed him away, putting on my own clothes, grabbing my bag and running out of that place. As I ran, not even knowing where, the tears appeared once again. He's my boyfriend, he should have stopped when I told him I wasn't ready...I can't believe him.
Soon enough I reached a familiar street, the only problem was that it wasn't exactly my street. Well, is it too late to pay my 'friend' a visit?
*****
Hey people, how ya doing? Sorry for not updating for a while, I just, school started and stuff, so... :/
Well, what can I do, right? I hope you enjoyed this chapter.