A/N: Hello beautiful people!! :) going to update two chapters today cause even though this chapter isn't really that short (it's not that long either) it's still kind of a filler chapter even though stuff happens I guess. But you're going to like the next chapter I think hehe ;)
I love you all more than life <3 <3 <3
Don't forget to please vote and comment on both of the chapters I update today please :) I love you :)
Oh and if you guys haven't read the review of Save Me by _DreamCetcher_ then you should cause it's awesome :)
-Em xo
Chapter 58:
The room spins and I clutch onto the edge of my bed as I stand next to it. Four days without my medication and things haven't exactly been great. I keep dreaming about different nights and hellish events of my past.
I look around me, my vision going in and out. Dark crimson blood flows down the walls, my heart beating a million miles an hour.
No, please god, make it stop.
My head starts to ache, like someone is stabbing me in my temple every few seconds. My stomach churns as the blood on the walls, and everything else in my room, turns dark and cold. The whole area twisting into an unwanted memory.
A dark living room, no longer my simple bedroom. The air cold, almost as if I'm outside and the ground beneath my feet, freezing me to my core.
And that's when I remember why I know this scene. And all of the fear and anxiety washes over me in a giant wave that I cannot move out of. I get pushed down to my knees by an invisible force, and every person from that night becomes clear. As if it hasn't happened yet, and I'm living it over and over.
"I swear to god, I will happily blow out her brains." He screams, pushing the cold barrel to my right temple even harder.
"No, please. We won't tell anyone. Please, just let her go, Daniel. Let her go." My mother sobs, tears streaming down her face as my grandfather holds her.
"Shut up! She deserved everything I did to her. She's a little slut; I'm surprised you haven't figured that out yet. You'll never keep your mouths shut. Neither will she." I can almost hear the smirk on his face.
I hear the safety guard being flicked off as he gets ready to end my life.
"Please, take me instead. Please, not Darcy. Please." My mum begs over and over again.
"Shut it Lilliana!" he screams at her, and she closes her mouth. But a few broken sobs escape her lips.
I'm too scared to speak. Too terrified to even breathe right now. I'm going to die tonight. I can almost feel my blood escaping my body as I pray to God to let me into heaven.
I lost my Abuela to cancer a year ago. I lost my Abuelo to a similar fate two years ago. My other Abuela is on her death bed, deteriorating from Schizophrenia and dementia. I have two people left, and now I'll never see them again.
"Let her go, Daniel. She hasn't done anything wrong." My grandfather says calmly as he walks forwards.
"Stay away from me!" He says loudly.
"Ok, ok. If you let her go, they can't charge you with anything. The police are on their way. Do you really want to go to jail for the rest of your life?" he tries to persuade, holding up his hands in defence as the gun is yanked to point towards him.
"She deserved everything she got." He spits back.
"We both know that's not true. She's just a little girl. Her life has been ruined because of you. She doesn't deserve to die as well." His anger gets the best of him, but he still manages to stay calmer than I ever could.
"Put down the gun." He continues, taking another step towards us.
"No." and the bullet soars through the air. A short distance, hitting skin and ripping it open so it can enter and kill. The blood sprays all over the front of me, and I scream as I watch him fall to the ground.
"No, no. Please, no." I crawl to my grandfather, pressing down on the bullet wound to try and stop the bleeding. Straight into his heart. A perfect and deadly shot.
"You monster!" my mother screams, crying uncontrollably as she kneels next to her dying father.
The front door breaks off its hinges as a swat team files in.
"Put your hands where I can see them!" the lead guy screams at Daniel. And surprisingly, he drops the gun and surrenders.
Everything else is a blur. Paramedics are called and take away my Abuelo. Daniel gets put in handcuffs. My mum sits there, crying. She eventually holds me to her chest as she silently rocks back and forth. But it's like I'm not there. Like I'm numb, and time is both slow and fast at the same time.
Sauli's POV:
I race upstairs, screams being heard from Darcy's room.
"Darcy? Darc?" I push open her door and see her on her knees, clutching at her head with her eyes closed. She lets out non-stop blood curdling screams.
I kneel down in front of her and unsuccessfully try to pry her hands away from her head. Her nails digging so deep that she starts to cut into flesh.
She continues to scream, no matter what I say or do.
"Darcy, calm down sweetie. Come on, Darc. Open your eyes, I'm right here." I shake her lightly, but she still screams.
I finally pull her hands away from her head and pull her to my chest. I hold her tight as she screams into my shirt, the muffled sound still reaching my ears.
"Darciarna, open your eyes. Come on baby girl, stop screaming. You're safe." I repeat a few times, trying to get her to calm down.
And after a good five or six minutes, she does. She stops screaming, and her eyes flutter open. But when they do, she pushes me away and looks down at her clothes as if they were covered in something. She inspects her hands as well and looks up at me with wide and terrified eyes. I don't think I've ever seen her this scared, and that's really saying something.
"What is it?" I ask her curiously.
She runs into her bathroom and grabs a cloth, wetting it and starts to scrub at every inch of her body that isn't covered in clothing. Her arms and hands become red and raw.
"Darcy, Darcy. Hey, what are you doing?" I pull the material away from her hands and throw it in the sink.
"I have to get the blood off. It's everywhere. It's everywhere." She starts to scratch at her skin, trying to get it off that way. But she's clean. Nothing is on her.
"There's nothing there." I try to explain, holding her hands in mine so she doesn't hurt herself any more than she already has.
"It's everywhere. It's everywhere." She continues to repeat. It's like she's had a mental break. Like her mind has snapped completely.
"No it's not." I try to calm her down.
"Everywhere. It's everywhere. He's dead. It's everywhere." She stares into space, looking at everything and nothing.
"Who? Who's dead, Darcy?" I try to get her to look at me, but she seems to look straight through me.
"He's dead. He's dead." I pick her up bridal style and sit her down on her bed.
"Dead....dead." She repeats, hardly ever blinking, staring into space.
I sit next to her for about an hour or maybe even longer. She repeats things like He's dead. It's everywhere. The gun shots so loud. Dead, dead, dead.
What gun shot? Is she talking about what happened to Adam? But he's not dead. Is this about the dreams she's been having lately?
Adam told me a while ago that he remembers some of the things she said at the café, on one of her first days in L.A. She said 'I'd never leave this fandom even if someone held a gun to my head, though that's already happened so no point in repeating it'. It never clicked until now. It never registered that maybe she wasn't just joking around.
Maybe something happened in her past that we don't know about. Something that triggered her 'Dark Moments'. Maybe that's why she had an even harder time understanding that Adam wasn't going to die. That the surgery worked and he was going to live. It was almost like she knew he was already dead. That she had already decided his funeral. Didn't even give anyone a chance to say he was okay.
Something happened in her past that we don't know about. Something evil and torturous. And I want her back. I want the happy Darcy back. I want my daughter to be okay again. And I'll do anything.
Darcy's POV:
"Oh look. You actually turned up today." I roll my eyes at Tara as I walk into the studio.
"You say that every time I walk in, Tara. And you always will, because I'm not leaving for anyone." I smirk, which causes an angry look to mask her face as she turns on her heel and stomps off.
"Bitch." I mumble under my breath as I turn and walk to the wall, putting my bag down and getting ready for another pointe class.
"Ok girls, it has been 6 months, and I've decided on a list. The parts of Odile, Odette the lead and the Princess. There will be 6 parts all together because of their understudies. The rest of you will be swans." She lifts up her clipboard as we walk into the centre of the room and watch her intently.
"The role of the Princess will be danced by...Brittany. Her understudy will be Lizzy. The role of Odile will be danced by...Claire. Her understudy is Rachael. And the lead, Odette, will be danced by..." time seems to stop as I pray and wish for her to hurry up and say the name.
But she pauses, almost smirking at how antsy we are to find out. Tara looks almost too sure of herself. And I just wish I had landed the Princess or Odile role. Something besides just another swan. Not that there's anything wrong with being a swan. And the other girls are amazing dancers. But there aren't many roles. There is just too much competition in a dancer's life.
"...Darcy." She says happily. My eyes widen and so does my smile.
I...I'm playing the lead?!
"What?!" Tara bursts.
"Tara, you will be her understudy." Miss says and walks away to start figuring out today's choreography routines.
"Congratulations, Darcy. Hope nothing happens." And I swear, an evil cackle erupted from her as a dark storm cloud let out a bellow of lightning and thunder.
Okay maybe it didn't happen exactly like that. But to me she looked like an evil bitch. And no, not an evil witch. She's a lot worse than that.
But if she is the evil witch, I am not going to be Dorothy.
***
"Tell me everything! Did you get the lead? Who's your understudy? What does your costume look like? Have you met the male lead yet? When's the performance? Where is-"I quickly cut a rambling Sauli off as he rushes into the lounge room and bombards me with questions.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa." I say quickly, getting a little overwhelmed at the whole thing.
"Yes, a bitch called Tara, I don't know yet, no we haven't, not sure yet, and if your question is 'where is the performance?' it's at the Chicago House of Ballet." I laugh at him as I stand up and walk into the kitchen to finish dinner.
"You got the lead?!" he says loudly and quite happily.
"...yes?" I slightly question.
He runs up to me and picks me up, slinging me over his shoulder and spinning a couple times.
"I'm going to take a wild guess and say you're happy about that." I laugh, hitting him on the back playfully so he'll put me down. And eventually, he does.
"I am so proud of you, Darcy." He says with a tear in his eye.
"Are you crying?" I tease, poking him in the ribs. He swats my hands away and shakes his head.
"No. I just...have dust in my eye." He laughs.
"Go set the table so I can serve dinner." I instruct, shaking my head at him.
"I will. But first, let's Skype Adam." He bounds into the lounge room and pulls out his laptop, putting it on the kitchen bench and sitting on one of the chairs along the island. I sit next to him and playfully role my eyes at his childish behaviour. How did I become the mature one in this house?
"Okay. But I get to tell him." I reason.
"Fine, fine." He waves me off as he presses the call button on Skype.
"Ugh! Hurry up, Lambert." He groans after a few minutes.
And finally, Adam answers.
"Guys shut up or get out." He jokes as I hear TJ, Ashley and Isaac all mucking around in the background. He comes onto the screen and a smile brightens up my features.
"Hey baby." Sauli says giddily.
"Hey dad." I wave slightly.
"Hey guys. God, I miss you both so much." He groans.
"Just five months to go." I sigh.
"Hey Sauli! Hey Darcy!" Ash jumps in front of the screen, smiling and waving happily.
"Hey Ash." We say at the same time.
"Ashley, move your fat head." Adam pushes her out of the way and she mumbles something under her breath.
"Hey, you're not the only one that misses them." Isaac says as he walks up behind Adam, eating a green apple as he does so.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He waves him off.
Sauli starts to sniff the air, and I look at him like he's crazy.
"Is something burning?" he asks as he looks at me.
"That will be the roast in the oven. It's just about done. Since you pulled me away to Skype your fiancé, you can go get it." I say matter-of-factly.
"Ugh, fine. Bossy." He mumbles the last part, not so secretly I might add, and gets up to get dinner ready.
I move the laptop so I can see them all fully.
"How have you been?" I ask. I miss them so much. Especially Adam.
"Good, I guess. The tour bus is bigger than I thought, and hotel rooms have become my best friends again. But I wish I was home. How's school going? And dance." He asks.
"They're pretty good. Swan Lake rehearsals are underway, and I'm acing my exams." I say happily, trying to hide just how much of a hell it's been.
It's been a month since the doctor's visit. He didn't put me on a lower dosage. In fact, he was close to increasing it. But decided against it in the end. I'm not having as many bad dreams or visions. But that day I remembered the shooting, it was...it was hell. I couldn't get over it for a while. But I'm okay again. I'm...okay.
"That's great! I'm so proud of you, Darcy. What role did you get in Swan Lake? Lead, I'm guessing." He smiles.
"Uh...actually I didn't. I'm just another swan." I lie.
He hated that he couldn't be there for the performance in November. Why would I make him feel even guiltier and tell him I got the lead? I rather him be touring and doing what he loves. I'm not going to be the one to ruin that.
"What? That's ridiculous. You're the best dancer there. You're a champion!" TJ inputs. I almost forgot the others were even there.
"The others have been with the studio a lot longer, and learnt most of the choreography last year. I might be good, but they know it better." I shrug. I don't let it show that it bothers me, because it doesn't. I did get the lead. I did live up to expectations. But I'll never tell him that. All I have to do is make sure that him and Sauli don't talk about it.
"Well I know you'll be the most amazing swan ever. I'm sure you'll even pull attention from the lead." He laughs.
"Yeah, whatever. So where are you guys now?" I ask.
"Just finishing up the Asian part of the tour. Next we're onto places like Sweden, Finland, and all around that area. Then the rest of Europe, South America, and then tour America before coming home. The fans absolutely love this 3rd album. Especially the 2nd song." He laughs.
"I still can't believe you made me feature on the album." I groan.
"You actually thought I wouldn't?" he jokes.
"Dinners ready." Sauli says as he walks in.
"Better go." I say sadly.
"We love you so much Darcy." Tommy says, and the other two say the same things.
"I love you guys too. And I miss you all. I love you dad." I grin.
"I love you too, blue eyes." I leave them to talk alone for a while as I set the table.
It's been affecting Sauli as well. Him being gone isn't good for any of us. A family should never be broken up for this long. I'm just so grateful I can talk to him most days. I'm grateful that I have my other dad to help me cope with one of them being on the other side of the world.
But we've been getting through it. He's been gone three months. Five to go. Only five months, right? It's not that long...
Oh who am I kidding? I'm dying without him. I never had a dad. I never got the chance. And now, even though I have two, I'm not ready to live without even 1 of them.
"Sweetie, are you okay?" Sauli asks as I whip back into reality. I look down and realise I'm just standing there in front of the table, a knife in my hands.
"Uh, yeah. Zoned out I guess. Come on, I'm starving." I laugh, and he slowly nods his head, still looking at me a little suspiciously.
"So was Adam happy that you got the lead?" Sauli asks after we sit down and start eating.
"Uh, yeah. The others kind of bombarded before I got to see his full reaction. But yeah, he was happy." I lie again. I hate not being truthful with either of them. We reached the point of never lying to each other. But now...I've broken that promise. I've disappointed both of them and they don't even know it yet.
"I wish he could go to the performance." He sighs.
"Yeah, me too, I guess. But I'm glad he's out there doing what he loves for the people he cares about." I say truthfully.
I rather him be on tour and happy, then at home and miserable.