"We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
🔸🔹
*Next Day*
I got ready for college and walked downstairs. Last night I had a dream that was so.... I don't even have words to say what I actually felt when I woke up.
"Stop avoiding me." Anger flashing from his eyes. I looked in his eyes that were pleading. It was like, he was trying to convince the both of us.
"Then, you fucking stop taking decisions of my life. "
He pushed me against the wall and placed back his hands on the either side of my face. He blocked my way, so that I couldn't move.
"I can take the bloody decision of your life." He whispered sending shivers down my body. I was scared, worried, what was going on in his mind.
"Why?" I asked afraid of him. My heartbeats started running fast. His breathe was tickling my neck, but also sending shivers down my body. I couldn't stand strong, I couldn't think straight. His gaze in me, burnt my skin tearing down the walls that I created around my soul. I knew he was trying to sneak in, to understand me, but I cannot let him do that. He cannot make me weak.
"Because I.." He paused, words not escaping from his mouth. For the first time, I saw him so helpless, so mute. I wanted to slap him right away, but something inside me stopped me.
"Because what Zayn?" I asked facing him now. I want to know the answer. I wanted to know why was he acting so weird, so strange that bothered us both.
He didn't speak anything but instead crashed his lips on mine. I wanted to push him away but I couldn't. I tried, but I was failing myself. I let him win, he was strong. He slipped down his hands under my waist and started deepening the kiss.
I angrily pushed him and ran away from there.
That was when I woke up. What the fuck was that! Zayn kissed me? I couldn't even understand what the hell was going on. My heart pounding, mind empty.
This dream, of course, it meant something.
Dreaming about someone, reflects either the happiness or pain they caused you to feel.
Zayn has always managed to give me pain as well as happiness. Maybe that is why I dreamt about him. But thank God that was just a dream.
"Nightmare?" Liam asked, as I placed my head on the table.
"No." I replied. Was it a nightmare? No, I mean, he wasn't a monster or a cruel person who tried to kill me, but he was Zayn.
"The tension on your face says otherwise." Why does Liam know me so well!
"It's nothing, Liam." I mumbled. He nodded. We left the house and once we got in the car, he started driving. We reached to the college after fifteen minutes and that's when I felt like I saw Chris. That was an imagination. Why will Chris be here? He doesn't have to be here.
But wait...
How can that be possible. No this is not happening. I couldn't move, It felt like I was about to choke water.
"What happened Soph?" Liam asked shaking my shoulder. "Nothing, I just zoned out for a second." I lied. That can't be happening. It's my imagination and I'm sure about that.
"Okay, Let's go. Classes will be starting." I nodded and we walked inside the building. I walked to my locker while Liam went in his first class which he had with Harry and Louis.
I have art class. So I took my sketch book and walked in the class. I saw professor was already saying something to the students. Guess, i'm late. I share this class with Zayn but as we don't talk, I don't have any friend in this class and yes, it will be awkward after what I dreamt.
"May I come in?" I asked the professor. "Oh, Sophia. We were talking about you. Get in." Professor said. I entered and sat next to a girl I don't know. What do they have to talk about me? Am I Kim Kardashian?
"Sophia and Zayn, please stand up." He called our names. We both stood up and Zayn gave me a confused look. I know nothing, man!
"The others continue with their work. I want to have a word with you two." He said pointing at us. All the others nodded and we both walked out with the professor.
I didn't even think of talking to Zayn. Awkward, awkward, awkward.
In my dream, he was someone else, I know he'd never kiss me in real life. We both don't want that. Then why did I have that dream? Why am I feeling all these emotions when he is around me? It was just a dream, just an image of him in my head. It could've been any other guy in his place. This should not matter, not at all.
"What is the matter, Mr. Johnson?" Zayn asked following him. "You both have to work together for a project."
As soon as the words escaped from his mouth,our eyes went wide. Even God knows, how much we dislike each other, then why on earth has the professor to give us a project together?
"WHAT?" Again we both asked in union. "Yes. We have to submit an article from college as other colleges also have to and you both are selected for the the same. Because you both are great artists."
I know. I'm good in drawing and sketches.
"What is the article about?" Zayn asked not protesting against working with me. Hello, are you the same Zayn?
"You have to work on a masterpiece, an epic love story, like Romeo Juliet or any other legendary story about two people falling in love."
"Seriously?" I asked rolling my eyes. This is bullshit. Who decides the topics? Like seriously, what year are we in?
"Love story? How many times do we have to kill Romeo and Juliet just to re-live their epic failure in romance?" I huffed.
"Their romance wasn't a failure. C'mon Sophia. Romeo ans Juliet's love story was a tragedy. Where do you find that kind of love in today's world? Lovers dying for each other, just to be together?" Mr. Johnson, therefore is the greatest fan of the overrated story.
I rolled my eyes. "If to be together, you die everyday, what is the point of that love?" I asked him. Zayn watched us argue.
"But not only Romeo and Juliet, take any love story from the history, lovers died in the end. The story was tragic, their love was epic. Be it Anna Karenina, Isolde, Cleopatra or Layla, their deaths brought deaths to their lovers as well."
Oh god, he has fallen in love with those stupid tragic stories. He talks bullshit, why do people die in love? What do they have to prove?
"Okay, Okay. Maybe some other day, we can arrange a debate on this topic, but please, can you both stop this?" Annoyed, Zayn asked. Why does he give that look to me? I'm right at my place. Mr. Johnson is wrong, he knows nothing about love.
Mr. Johnson huffed, giving me an eye. I know, after today, I'll officially be on his list of most hated student.
Ignoring me, he turned to Zayn. "Okay, so there is a twist, you have to show the story in a form of cartoon or drawings as you must have already figured that out."
I hate you, professor.
I don't know but I have a strange feeling like this can be a start of a new friendship. But again he will act all in vain and we will end up fighting. Can fuel and fire be together? NO! How many times do I have to tag it as new friendship?
What if after the friendship, our feelings change again? What if we start feeling something? What if, only I feel something while he is left with no emotion? I don't want to suffer in love. Not like those ladies from the history, because I know, I won't have someone to die for me or promise to live with me for eternity.
"And when will we have to submit that?"
"After a month. Work together as we all know about your friendship issues, but don't forget you're doing this for college and this can help you to increase your grades."
Who wants grades? Well I do. So I have to work with him against my will. Do people even read that shit nowadays? Instead, there could've been better options in genre, sure I'd love to explain the feeling of love, but not in this way.
"You both may leave now." He declared, again giving me an eye. I'll throw punch on his face, now. We both stood there like we saw an Alien. "Leave." He said again and we walked away.
I walked to the cafeteria as our group will be having a free time. Zayn followed me. I still am angry at him.
"This is probably your worst nightmare, right?" He asked. I stopepd walking and turned to face him. Don't flatter yourself, Zayn. I thought to myself. Nightmare? This?
Nightmare was what I saw this morning. I and Zayn, in a heated conversation, everything complicated between us. We were a disaster.
"It's fine." I mumbled. I know he heard that, because apparently anything I speak, he has the power of hearing my words.
"You don't have to be okay with this, yunno." He defined the situation through his hand gesture. He seemed confused about his own words.
"You're right. I'm not okay with this, with anything related to you. But I'll manage." I hissed. He sighed. "Marie..."
"Can you get over with this?" I asked him, crossing my arm against my chest. "Stop bothering me."
He grabbed my arm and dragged me on the side of the hallway, so that no one could see us argue. But who cared. Everyone loved a scene of Zayn and Sophia fighting over any stupid thing.
"What the actual fuck is wrong with you?" He tried not to yell at me.
"The only wrong right now is you, Zayn." I snorted. I tried to pull away from his grip, but he just won't let me go.
"What did I do?" He asked. Oh, as if he doesn't know.
"Nothing, you did nothing." I rolled my eyes. I didn't wanted him to know that the dream bothered me, the gossip the girls had about me and him bothered me, the fact that he thought he could rule over me, bothered me.
"Tell me Marie. Why are you giving me this silent treatment? Why are you behaving like this?" He asked, finally letting go off the grip and I rubbed my arm. His eyes landed on my arm and back at me.
"Why do you care?" I asked him. "You should be happy that my silent treatment won't bother you anymore."
"I care and I wanna know, what the fuck did I do." He raised his voice.
"You can't take the decisions of my life, you can't ask me to do whatever fuck you believe is right." I hissed at him. "You have no right to tell me anything."
"So, this is about Nathan." He snorted. "About that night."
"I don't want to talk about it. I really don't." I stated. "I've made it clear, you are no one to tell me, what to do, who to talk to and stop...just stop fucking with my life decisions." I declared and walked out of the conversation. I don't want to talk to him, about this or anything. He can do whatever he wants, but just not fuck with my life.
"There they come." I heard Lily announcing. I passed on a smile and sat next to Niall who was busy eating his sandwich. I took a sip from his drink and he gave me a glare so I had to put that back. Niall loves his food and doesn't share it, never forget that. He is the Joey Tribbiani of our group. He shared his food with me in the beginning, because he wanted to be my best friend, now that he knows I love him the most, he is back at not sharing his food.
"Why are you so quite, Zayn?" Liam asked. He was occupied in his own thoughts so he didn't reply to Liam.
"Zayn?" Liam waved a hand in front of his eyes. "Oh. Sorry, what?" He asked.
"Are you even here or somewhere else?" Harry joked. "I'm here." Smiling, he stated.
I took a glance at him. Why has he to be like this? If he was not an asshole to me, we would be having a great friendship. Because I know we have so much in common. But no, he has to work around like he owns everything, he can't own me or my decisions of life. Everytime we argue, we never come to a conclusion. It always leads to more misunderstanding. After that dream, it'd be good for me to stay away from him for a while. I need to clear my thoughts, my mind.
"Sophia and Zayn got a project and they have to work together on it." Lauren walked announcing and sat next to Jasmine who was smiling at Harry.
They didn't go on date yet. I think they can have a double date with Liam and Lauren.
"Who tod yah?" Niall asked his mouth full of food. So the words came out to be different.
"I heard two girls talking about the same in the restroom." She said. "It's like the trending topic. #themsavingeachother."
"A hastag what?" Jasmine asked. "That this time, to save each other's arses in academic, they've got to be with each other."
"How on earth do you both end up in the same mess?" Lily joked. All eyes were on us now.
"Maybe because they are meant to be the other's rescuer." Louis answered. I just sat there rolling my eyes mentally.
"They ain't in danger. Why would they rescue one another?" Niall asked.
"You so dumb, Nilly." Lily hit his head. She calls him Nilly, just because she says she adores him the most in the group. "When in love, you've got to face the challenges to be back to the one." She dramatically exclaimed. Maybe Lily should stop reading romance stories, or maybe she should just die.
"Woah..Woah..there is no the one." I hissed. Zayn being my The one, how? He can't be. "No one is in love. Stop with the bullshit."
"You only deny when you feel the exact way." Jasmine stated. "Oh my Jasmine, you're not a bitch." I faked a smile. She rolled her eyes.
"They should listen to their hearts. They are totally made for each other. Can't they see?" I heard Lily whisper in Louis's ear.
"Babe, it takes time to understand your feelings. Emotions might be complicated in this two's case, but I'm sure they'll find their way back." Louis whispered back in her ear.
"Exactly, they are made to be together because only they can handle one another like nobody else."
"You guys realize we are right here and you whisper, tittle-tattle about us?" Zayn stated. Their eyes shifted on us. "C'mon, these facts are a hundred percent true." Louis argued back. "Ten pounds on their love." He dig the bet.
"I wouldn't cross bet on this." Niall stated. "Because we know, they'll confess it soon." Then he winked at us. Damn, how bad I want them all to die. Why the fuck are they making this even more complicated than it already is.
"Guys, please." I snapped at them. "Stop it. We are just working together on a College project. This ain't some fucking love project."
"But it can be. Make it your prior project. Falling for the badboi Malik." Lauren laughed. She as well? Woah! I gave her a glare.
"Fuck you all." I stood up and was about to leave, when Liam called me. "C'mon Sophia. Don't mind these crazy heads."
Oh, my brother. He is with me.
"One more word and I'll show you guys who the real bad boy Malik is." Zayn warned them all. I guess he was just as angry as me.
"But how ironic is this, Zayn and Sophia have to write about Love together." Harry joked. "It's like they ask a blind man if he wants to watch a porn movie."
"Shuddup dickhead." I groaned. Harry is bad at giving examples. Liam asked them all not to bother us anymore. Then they asked what exactly happened and what did Mr. Johnson say. I explained them all.
"Princess, Work hard and don't fight with him, not this time. I think you both should start it from today. This is for our college." Liam strictly said. I nodded. At last, keeping all the grudges aside, I have to work with him, no matter what.
"Who's place?" I asked Zayn. I don't want my friends to know what is bothering me. I just want to be done with the project and move on.
"Maybe we can work at my place." He replied.
I nodded. I have no problem with that. I just would want to complete the work as early as possible.
-----
I know I shouldn't say this but I kinda felt happy when professor asked me and Marie to work together on the article.
She has been avoiding me from two days. I know I shouldn't have acted that way but Nathan would try to hurt her and I don't want her to be hurt.
YES, you heard me right. This could be sick of me to say but I think I'm starting to care for her like I never cared for any other girl.
After that forest incident, I decided to start a new friendship with her. She even came to our place with Liam. When she left with Saffa, Liam told me and mom that she came here to say thanks, but again, I showed my attitude and she left. I said that she shouldn't be in our group, which I didn't even mean to speak. I wasn't all by myself that day.
I can apologise now when she comes to my place. Zayn Malik never apologizes but I feel like I own her one apology. After what happened today in the hallway, I just can't seem to understand her. She is acting weird. I was just concerned because I know who the real Nathan is. She knows nothing about him and that is why, he will trick her into his mess. Right now, she believes I'm the bad one here, she asked me to stay away from her life, not to bother her about anything. But she doesn't know that I actually am worried about her friendship with Nathan.
To work on a love story with the one you hate, is weird. Well, now I don't hate her and I know that. All the million fights with her, made me hate her but that night in forest changed everything.
Whatever these guys said back and in the cafeteria still bothered me. Why are they so sure that I might fall for her? And what if I do, she won't ever feel the same. She said, there is no place for love in her life, she would never let me be the one.
She was the one to define love, that day on the beach, but today, when she argued with Mr. Johnson on how those epic love stories were bullshit, I thought she lost faith from love. But what would make her lose faith from the emotion that she considers to be one of the purest?
She quoted that phrase on beach that day, losing in love is okay, then not to fall in love at all. Did Romeo and Juliet lose something, living their love for each other? Yes, their lives.
Louis said our emotions might be complicated and that we will figure it out soon. But I know, my feelings aren't complicated, it's just that the situation is. Whenever she is around, I can't think straight. We started on the wrong path, but now, this journey with her is a new turn everyday, a beautiful turn.
"Hey." She walked to me and waved. "Hello." I greeted with a smile. I hope we forget about the argument and move on. "Do you have any classes now?" She asked looking in the ground with her hand on her hips.
"No. Do you have?"
"No. So I was thinking we can start with the basic?" She asked. "Sure. Why not. But we cannot leave college."
"Is Zayn Malik saying that?" She joked. I let out a chuckle. "Maybe."
"Then we can talk about this near that tree where I sit." I know where she spends her time, near the football ground. That place is just awesome, filled with nature. I understand why she loves the place.
"Okay, let's go." I said and she followed. We sat on the grass side by side and she took out her small diary.
"What is this for?" I asked. "We can write the basic on this and then fill it up in the book that we design and use as the final product."
I nodded. I never knew she could be a dedicated person. Before an hour, she hated the idea of the story.
"I'm sorry about earlier." She stated. "I had a rough morning and so I lashed out at you. I was frustrated and couldn't think rational." She apologized. She had her eyes on me and I knew, she was genuinely sorry about it.
"It's all right. We all have our rough days." I stated. What else could I say? She nodded.
"So, which story to do we write about?" I asked. "I don't know." She replied.
"I thought you liked love stories." I let out a chuckle, teasing her.
"Zayn, you saw what happened out there. I do like love stories, but not the kind where everything falls apart in the end." She looked me in the eye and said. Everything falls apart in the end? Isn't that the reason why many love stories end in tragedy?
"Can we not write about more realistic couples like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie or Tom and Katie." She laughed. "Not the legendary Romeo and Juliet or the Arab couple Layla and Majnu. They are way too overrated." She air quoted legendry and laughed.
Her laugh, just so PERFECT.
Zayn, back to earth.
"Both these couples are divorced now." I reminded her. "At least they are alive." She rolled her eyes. Yeah, point. "So they can fall in love again." She stated.
Fall in love again?
Will she ever fall again? In love? Will she consider someone else her beautiful half, for a second time?
"Then about who?" I asked. "Maybe we can make a whole new story?" She suggested. "Without a twist of tragedy, but filled with adventure?"
She hates tragedy, not love.
"That's a good idea."
"And what will be the names of the character?"
"Maybe Liam and Lauren?" I suggested. She laughed so hard that she tilted a little and our shoulders touched.
Am I really the one for her? Who can be the one in her story? She has been through a lot, her life is basically a lie right now, she is living in a parallel world, not knowing about her past but yet, she is cheerful all the time. But I know, I always ruin her mood. I always am a dickhead to her. I don't intend to be mean, but I can't just let all these emotions, these feelings change me. I can't feel this, love is a mistake.
When she'll know, her life is a tragedy, will she hate it as well?
"Never mind, their love is at initial stage. We want something dramatic." I stated.
"Dramatic?" She was deep into thinking "How about Harry and Jasmine?" She suggested laughing. "Don't you think you'll be the Villain then?"
"Oh yeah, about that." Then she laughed again. "I intend to be a hero, not a villain, so NO."
Hero. She really is a hero. She has all the qualities of a hero. She is courageous, she stands for what is right and what is wrong. Her selfleshness is beyond beauty. She cares for everyone, including me. She has been through a lot of drama, trauma, but yet, every new day, she is the old Marie everyone knows, the cheerful girl. All this really makes her a hero.
"But you know, you can be an outstanding Villain. I suggest we should write about Zayn and Clarissa. People would love that story. You can be the hero as well as the bad man. There will be romance, action and drama."
What about you and me?
I thought to myself.
"What?" She asked, surprised. Did I speak that out loud? "Oh, nothing. We can think about that later."
"And story?"
"You work on it. I will do the drawing and you can write then?" She nodded agreeing with my idea. She looked back and her face expression changed from soft to hard.
"What happened?" I asked, concerned. "Nothing. Um, what were you saying?"
What happened all of the sudden? I felt like someone was watching us. Maybe she felt the same.
"Nothing. Let's go now. College will be ending. The others might be looking for us." I stated and stood up.
She stood up too and cleaned the dust from her Jeans. I smiled the way her face was, she made a pout while cleaning her jeans. I could capture that face in my Phone.
------
I was getting ready to go to Zayn's place for our work. Mom laughed when she came to know that we both will be working together.
Our first talk about the story was not bad. But when I asked him whose name to write, I felt like he spoke you and me, indicating the words for us.
But why would he say that?
My imaginations.
I wore my sandals and walked down. Liam was at Harry's place planning on how to ask Lauren out. He didn't involve me in this as he said I was Lauren's friend.
No worries, brother. I'm happy for you.
"Mom. I'm going to Zayn's place." I shouted. "Have fun sweety. Say me hello to Tricia." She shouted back from the kitchen. "Will do." I said and walked out of my house. I was walking towards their house when I saw a cute little puppy barking.
It was so cute, all white and soft and very small. Maybe he is new born. But why is he alone? Aren't these puppies meant to be with their parent dog?
I decided to pick him up. He was ticklish. I took it to Tricia's place and knocked at the door. The puppy was lost, I suppose.
The door was recieved and I met with familiar brown eyes. It shined brighter like I've never seen before. He seems to be different today.
"Woah, I ordered a Tarantula, what species is this?" He declared, surprised.
"Why the fuck would you order a Tarantula?" I asked. "They are dangerous and creepy. You should never pet someone poisonous."
"Oh c'mon, they are cute." He said.
"Nothing with eight legs is ever cute." I rolled my eyes. "So you're saying scorpions aren't cute?" He asked, giving me an eye.
"Oh god Zayn. Who the hell keeps these insects as pets?"
"Well, I do." He protested. "No wonder why are you such a creep man." I let out a chuckle.
"Okay Okay, Muffin, Where did you find that?" He asked, indicating to the puppy. Back to being called Muffin.
"First promise me one thing." I asked in a serious tone. He raised his brow at me. "You'll never pet a tarantula or a scorpion." I stated. He let out a chuckle. "Why though?"
"Because two poisonous and creepy species can never stay together under one roof. You and that tarantula or the scorpion will never be able to have a good friendship." I laughed.
"Is that why you and I are still not good friends, because we both are poisonous and dangerous?" He asked in a serious tone. I went silent. He is right though,we can be poisonous to each other. After a good silence, he let out a laugh and shook his head. "Oh god Marie, ease up. It was supposed to be a joke." I sighed.
"You're a joke." I rolled my eyes.
"C'mon, now tell me, where did you get this puppy from?"
"Just outside your house. Isn't he cute?" I asked running my hand on his head. "He is." His eyes were on the little white puppy. "Just like a tarantula." He laughed. I gave him an eye.
"You say tarantula one more time and this pup will bite you." I declared.
"So now this pup is dangerous too. Why do you have him then?" He asked. "Do you always ask so many stupid questions or today is some special torturesophia day?"
"Isn't everyday a tortureyou day for me?" He laughed.
"Yeah, you love me for that." I stated. His face went still, all the expressions were gone. He had a straight face. Love. He can never love me for anything. He doesn't love, he cannot love.
"Zayn, who's at the door?" I heard Tricia shout from the kitchen. Thank god, she asked. This silence bothered me already.
"Mom, it's Marie."
I'm now used to the way he calls me Marie and honestly saying I like it now. No one else calls me that because everyone knows that he owns it to call me with the name.
"Won't you ask me to get in? Bradford's weather is killing me." I joked to lighten the awkwardness in the air.
"Oh yeah. Get in. I don't want any virus in air because of you." He laughed digging his hands in his jeans pocket. Phew, at least he still can make stupid comments on me.
"I take that as a joke."
"That was a joke."
"Good then or else I was thinking to throw a shade as a come back."
"You both fighting again?" Tricia asked shouting. "No, mom. Marie is having fun with the weather."
I chuckled.
"What should we do with this?" I asked pointing to the puppy. "Oh, that is so cute." Tricia saw the puppy in my hand and walked to me.
"Just like a tarantula." Zayn interrupted. I rolled my eyes. He just wouldn't stop.
"Since when do you find tarantulas cute?" Tricia turned to him and asked. "You always said they creeped you out." Then she turned to me. "Zayn was never a fan of tarantulas. They scared him." She whispered like it was supposed to be a secret of her and me. I laughed loudly. It was supposed to be a loud laugh. I made fun of him. He rolled his eyes and pouted.
"He has always wanted dogs as pets." She then declared. "Look at this, he is so fluffy and so white." The way she looked at the puppy, I knew she was already in love with him.
"I know. I found it on the streets and brought it here. I think he is lost, I tried to find someone who might be looking for him, but there was no one. I hope you have no problem with that?"
"Not at all, Zayn loves dogs."
"Then I can gift this puppy to you." I said placing the small body of the animal in his hand.
"No. You keep him because you found him." He protested. "But I want to give it to you. Do you have a problem with that?" I asked placing my hands on my waist trying to threaten him.
"Should I be intimidated?" He asked raising his brows. "Yes. Now keep him. But don't you dare misbehave with him." I strictly ordered.
"That can be a pet of you both." Tricia said clapping her hands. Sharing a pet with Zayn? A cute little puppy. Good Idea. I mean, I love dogs and so does he and he has wanted dogs as pet.
"What should we name him?" I asked. "You suggest." He said his eyes sparkling observing the puppy.
He is happy.
"What about Zophia?" Tricia asked. "Is that even a name?" I asked.
"Yes, it's a name of your both's name. Zayn and Sophia makes Zophia."
Zayn let out a small chuckle. I just stood there, looking at her. How can she even come up with that idea! My god!
"You are......I don't have words mom" He laughed. "Yes, I know I'm smart." She said flipping her hair.
"Are you sure, you're mother of four kids?" I asked. "Today I shall share a secret with you. I'm not a mother of Zayn and Doniya, they are my cousins."
I laughed and Zayn shook his head playing with the puppy.
"Yeah, I thought so. You're so young."
"Now name it already." She said excitedly. "Bruno?" I asked. "Yes. Bruno, that is." She happily stated. I smiled. Bruno let out a small bark. He loved the name.
"Hand Bruno to me and go upstairs and work on your article." Tricia said. Zayn handed Bruno to her and guided me upstairs.
"Remember, main rule, no fighting." She shouted from downstairs.
We both nodded. This is the first time I will be entering in Zayn's room. I have saw half wall of the room from my room's window,coloured white.
He opened the door for me and I entered. His room's walls are white and grey with his painting hanging on the wall and many photos of him with his family and friends, the same way, I've decorated mine, but instead, the wall had graffiti on it. That wall looked great.
"Who designed it?" I asked scanning the photos. "I did." He said running his hands through his messy hairs.
"It's beautiful. Wait, is that me?" I asked.
A photo of our group, clicked during the camping. I still remember how we had a silly fight about something and then the coach clicked this picture.
"Yes. That photo in which we had a conversational fight." He stated laughing. I hit his shoulder lightly. "This wall is so damn beautiful." I fell in love with the way he designed everything.
"I know."
I sat on his bed that was king sized and very comfy covered under white sheets. It's pretty clean and tidy for a guy to keep his room.
"So have you decided the names?" He asked taking a seat next to me. I shook my head as a no. Should we really write our story? Like, there is no story of us, but what Lily said still is on my head. They should listen to their hearts.
No, this time, I can't. I don't want to. Last time when I listened to my heart, it was shattered into pieces, now my heart doesn't respond to the feeling called love.
And I know, what I feel for Zayn is not love, definitely not it. Despite everything, I do adore him, I respect him, because he has been there always, he has respected my choices, helped me in various stages of my fears, my troubles.
"What about Bella and her twilight love?" He suggested. I was brought back to reality when he called my name. I really should stop daydreaming and talking to my subconscious.
"Zayn, are you a fan of Twilight?" I asked pinching his cheek. "Nope. Saffa and Walihya are though. They were watching that movie today and so these names came in my mind."
"That sounds cool. Edward was my favorite character when I watched twilight with Sarah. I've got to admit, he is so damn hot. After watching him, I once wished I was a vampire too."
"They don't even exist in real life and he is not hot. Vampires are cold." Haha, he has a good sense of humour. "And I meant Bella and Jacob, not the cold vampire."
"Whatever, you've got to admit it Malik. That guy is literally so hot. Oh my god." I drooled over his beauty.
"Jacob is far better. He has got the body, the strength as well. He adored Bella." He argued. "But wolves smell bad. They stink." I argued.
"Bella didn't mind that. She was attracted to him as well." He just won't agree on Edward been the best. Ugh!
"Attraction is okay, but she was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Edward." I was about to yell, but I kept calm.
"Edward left him. But Jacob has always been there for her, with her. He loved her."
"That was an unrequited love." I rolled my eyes.
Isn't your love for him the same?
My subconscious asked.
Wait..what the fuck!
I said I adore him, this isn't love.
So did Jacob, he adored her, infact he was in love with her.
Fuck you, Mr. Mind.
I don't fucking care about what the wolf felt, what I feel is I am sure about.
I could stab my mind, but that would kill me, so yeah...dropped the thought.
"She was in denial. She was destined to be with Jacob. But she chose speed over strength and that is the worst decision ever taken in history of romances."
"Okay, now I get this. You're the leader of 'Hate Club of the Vampires.' You could see her with anybody but not Edward. You're such an arse, Zayn. Can't you see, she loved him, what they had was actually epic. There were sparks, emotions, sentiments. Edward gave her a new life. He changed her to good." I could cry at any moment for my Bedward love. They were so pure. "So stubborn pant, just accept the fact that Bedward is better than Jella and Edward is the hottest guy."
"Bedward itself means a bad word. And Edward fucking Vampire isn't the hottest guy."
"He is."
"I said no." He replied stubbornly.
"Edward Cullen is the hottest guy on earth." I shouted jumping on his bed. I hate it when someone tries to prove themselves right even if they are the one's with the wrong information. I might not love the pale skinned fiction character now, but it's fun to tease Zayn.
"Get down Marie. You might fall." He asked me, standing on the floor. "First agree with what I said." I demanded.
"Would never."
"Your wish, pretty boy." I declared and started jumping high. That was until my leg twitched and my body started to fall.
"Marie." Shocked, Zayn tried to hold me but I fell on him on the bed. My eyes were closed and I could smell his cologne. The strong one mixed with smell of cigarette. The Smell of his perfume was strong enough to make me weak.
I was on top of him and my hands were on his stomach, I could feel his abs in the piece of his shirt.
I opened my eyes and met with the hazel eyes, that was staring me back. His breathes were fast. I was also staring in his eyes and for the first time, all I saw in them was love and care. The hatred, the anger for me that once all that he felt for me, was gone. He stared deep in my eyes and then his eyes landed on my lips.
He started leaning in and at some point, I leaned in too. We both were aware with what was going to happen next. He tugged the ringlet of my loose hairs behind my ears. It felt like the dream I saw, was going to come true.
"I'm sorry." I said breaking my contact with his eyes and stood up. I let him stand and we both awkwardly stared at the wall. I didn't know what to speak. It was like that football match incident, when he tried to lean in. But that was a different time, we hated each other. Right now, we're trying to get to know each other. He even challenged me that he'll get that kiss someday. But I won't let him win over a challenge. I can't let him do that.
I was trying to understand the incident that took place just a second ago. I shifted me eyes at him and found him already looking at me. I shouldn't have jumped on his bed.
But the thing that is revolving in my mind is that we both leaned in to kiss each other when we know that we don't even like each other and there's no place for us to fall for each other.
"You smoked a cigarette?" I asked him breaking the awkward silence. He nodded. I know that he smokes but didn't see him smoking in these days so I thought he quit.
"Why?"
"To release all the stress." This is the useless answer. Every one who smokes, gives the same damn answer. "You're just twenty one. What stress do you have at this age?" I asked demanding. "I thought you quitted."
"You smoke as well and you knew I smoked in the past. So why are you asking now?" He snapped at me. "I used to smoke because I felt relaxed."
"Relaxed of what? Trying to forget about your boyfriend. Admit it, you smoked because you were depressed of your break up."
I didn't give you right to speak of my life. Where did all that come from? There was no logic to the argument.
"I um..."
"See, you have no answer."
"I used to smoke but I quit. That's what matters."
"Just because you're afraid that Liam and Aunt Katherine might find out and get angry about it."
"No. Not because of that. Okay? I quitted it because now I'm happy, now that I came here, I enjoy my time in Bradford. Maybe Bradford was the reason of me quitting."
"And it's the reason of me smoking."
"What?" I asked, confused.
"Nothing. You smoked because, back then in the past you had problems."
"I had no problems."
"Why don't you admit Marie, you want to smoke right now, right here. You want it so bad. You still do have problems in your life. Why are you accusing me of being the bad man, just because I smoke?"
"The only problem in my life is you." I hissed. "Then go away Marie. Just leave. Why do you come back to me, always?"
"Excuse me?" I gave him an eye. "I come back? To you? Who are you? What are we? Why would I come back to you?"
"What are we?" He asked me the same question. "You should ask that to yourself."
Ask myself? I know exactly what my heart feels. It knows who Zayn is to me.
"No you tell me, what the fuck are we? Enemies? Frenemies? Strangers?"
He chose to keep him mouth shut.
"Don't blame me Zayn for whatever you believe we are. We are just mistakes in each other's story. "
"Mistakes?" He grabbed me through my arms and looked in my eyes, his eyes were narrowed, cold. His nails hurt me as they dig in my arms.
"Let go Zayn. You're hurting me." I mumbled. "Maybe you really were a mistake, Marie. Since the day you came here, everything is going wrong. You're trouble, you create drama."
"It was not my fucking choice to cause trouble. I didn't intend to cross your life. I fucking stayed away. You are the one who crosses the line, all the damn time." I struggled getting out of his grip, but he just won't let me go.
"I fucking cross lines to save you. Can't you see, Marie, I fucking care for you. It wasn't my choice to get close, to be around you."
"So back off." I was almost about to cry. "Just let me go. Let go off your mistakes, Zayn."
That's when he let me go. I could finally feel my arms. They turned red to where he dig his nails. I could feel the print of his palm on my skin.
Before five minutes, a cute little scene happened between us and now again we are fighting and for what? Him smoking, my past, us being mistakes?
The door flew open and Tricia walked in.
"Woah, guys. Your screams are heard down there."
"Tell him. He is the one who is screaming. He is the one who is talking about my life. He fucking considers me a mistake." I tried to hold back the tears. "You know what Zayn, You have no right to interfere in my life, not that night when you asked me to stay away from Nathan and not today as well."
"I can interfere in your life if you have to speak of my life and am I the only one? You asked the stupid question in the first place. You were the one who asked me my personal life's question." He said crossing his arms against his chest. "And you better stay away from Nathan, if you don't, he will hurt you and I won't let that happen."
"I asked because I cared. But now I think why should I even care for an Asshole. I'm over with this and tomorrow, I'll talk to Mr. Johnson and ask him to withdraw my name and make someone else your project partner."
"Good. Or else I would go myself and ask him to change my partner, someone who doesn't drag her nose in other's business."
Without speaking anything further, I walked out from there. I ran downstairs and opening the door, I left the house and ran through the garden in my house.
This time as well, I walked away from a fight and again left a conversation half ended.
But wait, did he say that he'd save me from Nathan? He won't let him hurt me? why does Zayn have to be like this? Why can't he just not twist words and complicate my head! He said he cared for me.
"Sophia." I bumped into Liam. Wow. Now he will ask me questions. "Woah, what happened, why are you crying?"
"I'm not." I said gulping down my own tears. "I'm your brother. I know you very well. Now tell me, what did he do this time?"
He made me sit on the couch and sat next to me. Tears still managed to crawl down my eyes.
"Who he?"
"I know that you know who I'm talking about. You went to Zayn's place for your project work. Did you guys get into a fight?"
"Don't we always?" I asked him back. He didn't say anything though. "It hurts Liam, it hurts so bad." I hugged him crying.
"What hurts?" He asked rubbing circles on my back. I liked it, it calmed me down.
"The way he insults me. I, being concerned for him asked him why did he smoke and he asked me back why I used to smoke in the past and also assumed that I smoked because I broke up with my boyfriend."
"He knows about Chris?"
"Not his name but only knows that I had a boyfriend."
"Do you still like Chris?"
Do I? Even I'm not sure about that because now I maybe have feelings for someone else.
"I don't know."
"You do, that means?"
"Maybe I care, because he was my first love and people say first love is always remembered even if it hurts."
"Maybe you should go out with someone else now. Maybe Niall. It's high time. You should forget and move on from your past."
"No he is just my good friend and he already has feelings for Ella. I don't want to date someone just to forget about my past boyfriend." People have to realize, I don't have those feelings for Niall.
He reminded silent.
"Saying of date, when are you having your date with Lauren?"
I changed the topic. He wouldn't stop asking me questions and get information from inside me. I don't want to talk about Chris, or Niall or Zayn.
"It's a surprise. You all will come to know tomorrow."
"Wow, you've already started hiding things from me." I pouted. "Maybe."
"I should seriously find a new brother."
He laughed.
"You'll never get a brother like me. I'm your only one."
I rolled my eyes but smiled. I know he'll be my number one, always.
"And about Zayn, he never liked when anyone asked him that question but you did, he might've got angry because he hates to be judged. Give him some time." He said, on a serious note.
I wasn't judging him. I know he smokes, I was just concerned for his health.
"I asked because I care. He always has his problems that creates a problem in my life and I'm the one who ends up crying in bed."
"But he always stands next to you to save you. That is strange but you guys have gotten used to each other. You both cannot stand each other, but do stand for each other."
I was trying to understand what he just said. Are we more than what we think, we are to each other?
"You never showed me your boyfriend's pictures. I might find him and rip his head off for breaking my sister's heart." He changed the subject and I passed a week smile.
"No need. Dad already did that."
"So which love story will you both write? What have you decided?"
"I'm not going to work with him. I backed out from the project. " He lifted my chin. "Don't do that and work on it. You both are great artists. This is a college project and so do it."
"Explain that to him." I said and stood up walking upstairs. "Good Night, Liam."
"Good Night, Princess." He said smiling.
I can't just work with him. He called me a mistake of his life. I can't let him fuck my self respect.
I'm feeling so sleepy that I can even sleep on the floor. I have a headache and if I don't take care of it right now, I might go insane till the next morning.
My phone vibrated and it was a message from my best friend from old place.
From: Myke ❤
Hey. I have something important to tell you. Call me when get free.
I decided to leave an answer.
To : Myke ❤
Hey. I'll call you tomorrow. I need to sleep right now. I look like a ghost who has dark bags under her eyes. Bye. Good Night.
Without waiting for his answer, I laid my body under the duvet and drifted myself to sleep.
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Oh my holy god, this is the longest chapter i've ever written.
Keep voting and feedbacks are always welcomed.
Dedicated to my_kai for being an amazing friend.