Heaven kept a record of everyone. Everyone that had ever lived and had ever died. They recorded their name, the dates they had lived, and then sent them into their own little heaven to relive their best memories for the rest of eternity. Simple.
Except that someone was responsible for writing down the names of everyone who came to heaven and marking down the years they had lived.
Sariel was a low ranking angel in heaven, and years were his full time job. It was his goal to type out the years everyone had lived, and attach it on a neat little sign below every human's name on the door to their heaven. They only bothered to record those that went to heaven, figuring Hell had its own system.
It was a simple task until the Winchesters got involved.
It was amazing how many different scenarios that sentence you be used with too.
The Winchesters were the people that drove Sariel insane.
"Sariel!" One of the angels called, dumping a stack of papers on his desk. "Here's the list of today's deaths, I need their years sorted out immediately."
"Yes Naomi," Sariel insisted, picking up the first paper and getting to work. Every paper had the basic information on someone who had just died. Their name, lifespan, reason for death, and location. When Sariel's work was done, he passed the papers along to another low ranking angel so that they could fill out the names. Sariel glanced down at the first paper.
Name: Samuel Winchester
Cause of Death: Stabbed in the back.
Born: May 2nd, 1983.
Dead: May 10th, 2007.
"1983 to 2007," Sariel recorded, typing out a strip of paper. He noted Samuel Winchester on the back, and moved on.
*****
Name: Dean Winchester
Cause of Death: Shot in the chest.
Born: January 24th, 1979.
Dead: February 14th, 2008.
Sariel vaguely remembered the name Winchester, but he thought nothing of it, recorded the death, and picked up the next page.
Name: Dean Winchester.
Cause of Death: Struck by car.
Sariel blinked. Sure, there was a rare occasion when two people with the same name died on the same day. After all, dozens of people had the same name.
Born: January 14th, 1979.
....But how many of them had the same birthday? Sariel picked up the next piece of paper.
Name: Dean Winchester.
Cause of Death: Crushed by desk.
What the hell? Sariel flipped through the stack of papers in front of him.
Name: Dean Winchester
Cause of Death: Choking.
Name: Dean Winchester
Cause of Death: Laceration to the head caused by slip and fall.
Name: Dean Winchester
Cause of Death: Food poisoning.
Name: Dean Winchester
Cause of Death: Electrocution.
Name: Dean Winchester
Cause of Death: Accidental decapitation with an ax.
Name: Dean Winchester
Cause of Death: Shot by arrow.
Name: Dean Winchester
Cause of Death: Mauled by dog.
"What the-" Sariel started, flipping through a hundred pages of various Dean Winchester deaths, the only difference between them being the cause.
"Sariel! Get to work!" A voice called to him. Extremely confused, Sariel filled out the work for all of them.
*****
Name: Samuel Winchester
Cause of Death: Struck by lightning.
Born: May 2nd, 1983.
Dead: November 6th, 2008.
Sariel frowned. He swore he had filled out a form for Sam Winchester before....
********
Name: Sam Winchester
Cause of Death: Stabbed in the gut.
Born: May 2nd, 1983.
Dead: February 4th, 2010.
Okay, Sariel was sure of it this time.
"Has Samuel Winchester ever been resurrected?" He questioned.
"What?" Hannah asked. "Resurrection is so rare, I doubt it."
"But I swear I've filled out this for him before."
"You've probably just filled out a form for someone with the same name. Just a coincidence, Sariel."
"Sure," Sariel frowned.
******
Name: Dean Winchester
Cause of Death: Shot in chest.
Born: January 24th, 1979.
Dead: April 1st, 2010.
Again? Sariel questioned. Of course he remembered Dean Winchester. It was hard to forget the stupid human who's death form you had filled out over a hundred times. Sariel sighed and picked up the next form.
Name: Sam Winchester
Cause of Death: Shot in the chest.
Born: May 2nd, 1983.
Dead: April 1st, 2010.
"Both of them on the same day," He commented. "Huh." The doors to the office slammed open suddenly, and Sariel glanced up as a furious looking Castiel stormed in.
"Castiel?" He questioned, but his brother didn't seem to hear him.
"WHERE IS ZACHARIAH?!" Castiel demanded.
"I don't know." Sariel admitted. Castiel growled and moved on, storming out. Sariel glanced back down at his paperwork. He knew that Castiel had been the one who had raised Dean Winchester from hell. Every angel in heaven knew that. But if Dean and his brother were dead....
Well, then it made perfect sense why Castiel was pissed off.
******
Name: Dean Winchester
Cause of Death: Lethal Injection
Born: January 14th, 1979
Dead: December 10th, 2010
"And another one for the chart," Sariel muttered, filling out Dean Winchester's form. AGAIN. He was running a tally of every time he had filled out a form for the stupid Winchesters. Too many damn times, if you asked him.
****
Name: Dean Winchester
Cause of Death: Stabbed in the chest.
Born: January 14th, 1979
Dead: May 20th, 2014
"Two years," Sariel commented. "It's a new record."
"Shut up Sariel." Castiel muttered. He had come to check up on the office, something he rarely did. There were a lot less workers now, but it was to be expected after the fall.
"What, is it still a sore subject whenever your boyfriend dies?" Sariel questioned.
"He's NOT my boyfriend," Sariel laughed.
"Sure, buddy."
******
Name: Dean Winchester
Cause of Death: Poisoning (Pill overdose)
Born: January 24th, 1979
Dead: March 30th, 2016
"They're getting better." Sariel insisted. 2010 had been a death filled year for the Winchesters, but now at least they were taking year long breaks between deaths. The constant forms still drove him crazy though....
*****
Name: Dean Winchester
Cause of Death: Reaper Deal
Born: January 24th, 1979.
Dead: January 26th, 2017.
Name: Sam Winchester
Cause of Death: Reaper Deal
Born: May 2nd, 1983.
Dead: January 26th, 2017.
"Seriously guys," Sariel muttered, rolling his eyes and filling out the paperwork.
****
Name: Dean Winchester
Cause of Death: Lethal Injection
Born: January 24th, 1979.
Dead: November 9th, 2017
"Another one?" Sariel questioned. How many times could you die of lethal injections? Did Dean just not realize that he SHOULDN'T let a needle full of poison get jammed in him?
******
Name: Sam Winchester
Cause of Death: Exsanguination.
Born: May 2nd, 1983.
Dead: May 3rd, 2018.
"A day after his birthday. Nice." Sariel commented.
******
It had been centuries since Sariel had ever walked the earth in a vessel, but he did now because there weren't many angels left, and he needed to speak with Castiel.
His brother took him to a bunker in Lebanon, Kansas.
"Cas?" A scruffy looking man questioned, eyeing Sariel. "Who's this?" A much taller man joined them, looking equally confused.
"This is Sariel," Castiel explained. "One of the few angels left. Sariel, this is Sam and Dean Winchester."
"Sam and Dean Winchester?" Sariel echoed, staring at the men.
"Yeah, that's us." Dean declared.
"Samuel and Dean Winchester," Sariel went on.
"Yeah," Sam frowned.
"THE ALMIGHTY WINCHESTERS," Sariel got a crazed look in his eye. "Born on January 24th, 1979, and May 2nd, 1983??"
"Oh no," Castiel muttered.
"Um....yes?" Dean offered.
"THE SAME FREAKING WINCHESTERS THAT HAVE DIED OVER A HUNDRED TIMES???"
"Yep, that's us." Sam confirmed. Sariel stared at them, and something snapped.
With a maniac screech, Sariel lunged and tackled Dean to the floor, punching him in the face. Sam ran over to pull him off, and Sariel attacked him too.
Castiel sat back and facepalmed.
"What the hell??!" Dean demanded.
"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FUCKING PAPERWORK I'VE HAD TO DO BECAUSE OF YOU!?!?!?" Sariel yelled.