I close my locker and surprise to see Jade leaning against the lockers.
"Hey!" I smile.
"So what's the deal with you and Zabdiel??" She smiles.
"uhm nothing. Why??" I smile.
"nothing?? He drives you to school and home and he's posting things with you on Instagram and nothing's going on between both of you??" Jade rolls her eyes.
"yes Jade! There's nothing going on between us. Plus, Zabdiel is straight so no chance at all" I smile.
"okay whatever! Just be careful okay? I don't wanna see you get hurt" Jade smile warmly.
"Jade I'll be fine. No need to worry" I smile.
The bell rings and we walk directly to the cafeteria to have some lunch.
Jade and I sit with Finn and Zabdiel.
"Hey" I smile at Zabdiel.
"Hey" He smile back.
I look at Jade's plate and notice how few her lunch is.
Like seriously. She has an apple and a salad and by salad I mean lettuce and thousand island sauce.
I stare at her and she stare at me confused.
"what??" she asks.
"is that all your lunch??" I ask.
She nods and smile at me.
"are you on a diet??" I ask.
"No, No I'm not! This is my normal lunch" She smile at me and then to Finn.
I shake my head in disbelief. I've known Jade since like forever.
And I know that she can't live without chicken, and beef and pork.
I guess people do change. But why??
I stare as she forces herself to intake the veggies.
"are you okay??" Zabdiel smile.
"yeah!" I nod and smile.
"you sure??" He asks.
"yes I'm sure" I smile.
"do you wanna go for a drive??" Zabdiel smile.
"Now?!" I ask.
"yeah Now!" Zabdiel takes my hand and smile.
"wait where are you guys going??" Finn ask.
"I have no idea" I reply.
"are you coming??" Zabdiel ask.
"I don't know. I can't miss a class and I don't want you to miss a class Zabdiel" I frown.
"Fine! Another time then" Zabdiel sigh.
"uhm since when are you two friends??" Finn ask.
I stare at Zabdiel. I'm so nervous because what if he's gonna reveal that I'm suicidal?? It sucks that Zabdiel knows but Jade doesn't.
"since at the time when he was in the hospital!" Zabdiel smile.
"you visited him??" Jade ask.
"yeah he did! And now we're friends" I smile.
I can't believe Zabdiel and how good he is on making up things.
The bell rings and we quickly walk out of the cafeteria and walk to our next class.
I walk pass my locker and see Zabdiel leaning against my locker.
"Hey!" I smile as I open my locker.
"I was right! I knew this is your locker" He smile.
"gee! Wow! Impressive! I don't know what to say" I chuckle.
"come on! You should be proud of me" He winks at me.
"Hey Zabdiel!" I turn around and see Denise smiling at Zabdiel.
"Hey" Zabdiel smile at her.
"What are you doing here??" I ask her.
"what's with the tone of your voice fag??" She smiles.
"what's with that last season dress bitch wannabe??" I smile back at her.
"anyways I'm free later! If you wanna join me, I'll be waiting at your car" She smile.
Zabdiel just stare at her and smile.
"call me" she winks
I put my books on my bag and shut the door loudly.
"are you okay?? You look upset??" Zabdiel ask.
I don't know am I upset?? I think not! I just want to go on a killing spree that's it!
"I'm fine Zabdiel go talk to your girlfriend" I roll my eyes as I walk pass him.
"girlfriend?? I don't have a girlfriend!" Zabdiel talks as he follows me.
"yes you do! It's Denise remember??" I raise my voice and people were staring at us.
"she's not my girlfriend!! Can you please calm down!!" He stares at me.
"leave me alone please" I roll my eyes and walk away from him.
"wait! Addison!" He calls out my name but I ignore him.
I run as fast as I could when I suddenly bump into someone.
"ouch! Sorry! Are you okay??" He asks.
I nod and smile at him.
Suddenly someone push me so hard that I fall towards the floor.
"Watch it fag!!" The guy smile.
It's the same guy who always push me on the hallways and the same guy who almost killed me.
"Quintin!! Seriously??!!" The guy that I bumped into raise his voice.
"I'm fine!" I smile.
"are you sure??" He asks.
I nod and smile at him.
"okay!" He smiles.
I run as fast as I could and then I burst into tears.
I don't know why. I just feel upset, betrayed and jealous.
Oh my gosh I'm jealous!
But why??
Why do I feel this way when I have no right to be??
I get inside the restroom and get inside an empty cubicle and cry my heart out.
I have so many questions.
Why are we fond of loving someone who can't love us in return??
It's useless!! We're basically wasting our emotions for nonsense things.
But we can't help it can't we?? We can never dictate our hearts whom to love.
Who would have thought I'd fall in love with my bully?
Well he used to be.
Suddenly someone knock on my cubicle door.
"Addison?? Are you there??" He asks.
But I remain silent and focus on myself crying.
"Addison?? It's me Zabdiel! Are you there??" He asks again.
"No! Go away!!" I cry.
"Addison are you okay??" Zabdiel ask.
"I am not Addison!! Leave me alone!" I cry again.
"yes you are! I know it's you!" He sigh.
"How??" I ask.
"because I know you! There's no way that anyone in this school could top you!! You're better than all the bullies. You're better than me" He sigh.
"please leave me alone!!" I cry again.
"I know why you're upset Addison! Can we please at least talk about it??" He asks.
"if you know why I'm upset then there's nothing to talk about" I cry.
"of course there is!! We're friends right??" He tries to sound optimistic which is a first.
"I don't want to come out right now!! I need time" I sigh.
"well then I guess I'll have to wait for you here. I'm not leaving until you're okay. In case you change your mind and you want to talk to someone. I'm right here. So take your time" He takes a deep breath and sits on the floor.
That's bullshit!!
Everything is bullshit!!
I bet fifteen minutes later he'll just walk away secretly and leave me leave me here alone. Because that's what boys do. Thank God I'm Gay!!
I cover my face and continue to cry.
Suddenly my phone buzzes and I cry even harder as I check my phone.
It's Mom.
"Hey sweetie!! I'm coming home tonight but I'll go back to Washington DC to discuss your dad's custody. I'm sorry sweetie we'll work this out okay??"
Bullshit!! Bullshit!! Bullshiiiiiittt!!!!
After crying for what feels like an hour.
I slowly open the cubicle door hoping that no one is there. But boy was I wrong.
I see Zabdiel sitting on the floor sleeping.
I don't what warms my heart the fact that he cares or the fact that he kept his word.
I kneel in front of him and gently shake him.
"Zabdiel? Hey wake up" I try to smile.
He slowly opens his eyes and smile at me.
A smile that lights my whole world.
"are you okay??" He asks.
"I should be asking you that. You're here because of me" I sigh.
"ssshhh don't say that. I'm here because I want to. Not because I need to. okay? There's a big difference" He smile as pet my head.
"why are you being nice to me Zabdiel??" I ask.
"I don't know. Maybe because you deserve it" He smile.
I move closer to him and he so did he.
We move closer and closer until we're only a breath away.
I close my eyes then suddenly the door opens and I move away from Zabdiel.
"what are you two doing here??" Mr. Richardson ask.
"Nothing" I smile.
"don't you two have class??" he asks.
"yes we have" Zabdiel smile.
Zabdiel dusts himself up and helps me get up.
"Hasta Pronto??" He winks at me.
"what the heck does that mean??" I ask.
"it means see you later! In Spanish" Mr. Richardson smile.
Zabdiel nods and winks at me as he walks out of the restroom.
I smile as I follow him outside.
~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~
Class is over and walk directly to the Parking lot.
I look for Zabdiel's black car. When I see Denise leaning towards it.
Fuck this bitch.
I take a deep breath and walk towards the car.
Denise must have seen me coming because she smiles and call out my name.
"Hey Fag! You want to join us?? Hahaha sorry but I don't do threesome I want Zabdiel all for myself" she winks at me.
I want to slap her so bad but I'm controlling myself because the Holy Spirit says No.
Suddenly Zabdiel comes out from school and walk towards his car.
"Hey! Are you ready??" He smiles.
"Yes! I'm super ready!" Denise giggles.
"I wasn't talking to you" Zabdiel frowns.
"oh uhm yeah? Where are going by the way?" I ask.
"It's a surprise!" He winks at me.
He gets inside the driver seat and I walk towards the passenger seat where Denise is standing.
"excuse me" I smile at her as I get inside the car.
Zabdiel starts the car and starts to drive.
"So she's not your girlfriend??" I ask.
"yes!" He smiles.
"then why is she bothering you??" I ask again.
"I don't know maybe because I'm hot as fuck" he winks at me.
"uhm I'm sorry but I have to disagree" I chuckle.
"what?? I am hot!" He laughs.
Which is true by the way.
"come feel my abs" he smile as he lifts his shirt.
"I'm sorry but no Thank you" I smile.
"come on just feel my abs! I promise I won't bite unless you say so" He winks and then chuckles.
"eewwww!! Zabdiel!!" I laugh and so did he.
"you just missed half of your life. All the girls want to touch this" He smile as he put his shirt down.
"I'm not in a hurry Zabdiel! Besides, I'm saving myself" I smile.
"saving?? Wait you're a virgin??" Zabdiel smile.
I nod and smile back at him.
"why??" He asks.
"I don't know Zabdiel! Maybe because no one's ever brave enough to ask me out" I sigh and smile begins to fade.
The truth is I'm kinda hoping that you would ask me out Zabdiel!
But who am I kidding?? Of course he'll ask me out! As a friend!
"Hey are you okay??" He asks.
"yeah... I'm just thinking about stuff" I try to smile.
"like what stuff??" He asks.
"you know like, who would be my first?? Have I already met my endgame?? Is Love worth the wait??" I sigh.
"woah Addison that's deep man" Zabdiel chuckles.
"I'm scared that my first kiss doesn't even like me back or too ashamed to be with me" I sigh.
"that's a very serious shit bro" Zabdiel tries to smile.
He stops cause of the red light.
And both of us are silent.
Maybe because my anxiety has kicked in.
The light turns green and Zabdiel starts to drive.
"maybe you already met him" Zabdiel smile.
"who??" I ask.
"your endgame" He smile.
"maybe. But what if my endgame is the one who bullies me??" I ask.
"so what if he is?? Are you not willing to give him another chance??" He ask.
I don't know will I give him another chance?? Will I??
What if he'll hurt me??
Are people really that deserving for another chance?? I mean am I??
We arrive at a restaurant and I'm shocked.
"are we gonna eat here??" I ask.
"yeah come on" He smile.
He quickly gets out of the car and opens my door.
"thanks gentleman!" I smile as I get out from the car.
He then wraps his arm around my shoulder and smile.
"you don't have to answer my question because I already know the answer" he smile.
"what do you mean??" I ask.
"I mean it's obvious. Because you gave me another chance" He smile at me.