EDITED
Ch 30 | Save me...
I need you girl,
—BTS
Mirae |
"No, how dare you!"
Jungkook gripped his mother's wrists before she hit me, his eyes wavering venomously with anger and wrath.
His mother stared perplexed at her son —shocked at his sudden move.
"Son..." Mrs. Jeon whispered.
"You tried to fucking hit her" he hissed disgustingly.
"Please Jungkook, just once, please... Don't go as far as bringing girls home now" she spoke, her cord braking in the corners "Just please, every time I wait for you at home, thinking that maybe today my son will come, maybe today he'll call mom, maybe today h-he will except m-me... E-every time I ask you if you want to speak to me or in need of anything —you're always busy with work"
She bit her lip trying to keep her tears in "y-you just completely pretend t-that your parents don't exist" she whispered.
Mrs. Jeon puller her hands away glaring at me, as if giving a look that I stole her son away from her.
"You think I care! If she wasn't here I would've–"
"She deserves it —did her parents not teach to not be a gold digger, why is she suddenly special? Is she not here for your money? Why are you suddenly bringing girls home! How far will you go, son? Please leave her be, she's just one of those many girls. I'll find you better, just please-"
Jungkook's glare intensified, almost as if it wasn't a glare; a bullet going through her head. He wanted it, his face held the most dangerous criminal look. The veins in his hands popping, his anger seemed to be exploding.
"How fucking dare you —trying to hit her!" he toned high at every word dangerously.
Mrs. Jeon looked at her son trying to contain her tears.
"You had the nerves to even lift your fingers coming to my house as well" he continued taking large stances towards his mother.
"Never in fucking million years speak to me nor touch her ever again —stop trying, just stop FUCKING TRYING! you're winding me up!" He shouted breathing heavily.
Startled I jumped seeing the glass vase, broken in the floor into millions of pieces. The water and roses all scattered on the floor.
His chest heaved furiously for more oxygen, instantaneously his eyes darkened as his own arms raised—
My eyes widened knowing where the actions will be led.
"NO! Don't hit her" I held to his arm looking at him with an unbelievable expression.
"Let go!" He growled "motherfucker!" He shouted at his mother.
Mrs. Jeon stood frozen not attempting to move away, she still looked at Jungkook like that little boy from years ago.
"Jungkook?" I was too puzzled to say anything else.
I was horrified.
He's not the child from years ago, he's a changed man —shaded only with the color of darkness. He's now something –someone always predicted to be.
Anger was the only thing he felt, if not it's all he could feel. Rumors may not be believable sometimes —but it can only be to a certain extent.
"She was going to hit you" he gritted his teeth pulling me behind him.
"That does not give you the right to do the same, she's your mother Jungkook" he hands gripping tight with mine, he glared at his mother as she looked at me.
"You shouldn't have stopped him, I d-deserve it I completely forgot my dignity and respect. I'm sorry for bad mouthing y-you? What is your name darling?" Mrs. Jeon asked softly, her eyes could be evading thick tears any moment to now.
Aw, I just wanted to hug her at that moment.
I tried to let go of Jungkook but he just wouldn't budge, he pulled me closer to him holding my hands with his into a possessive grip, he stood not even inches away —glaring at his mother.
I had to make sure to clean the mess on the floor, the water and the glass broken pieces are set everywhere, it's too dangerous to leave it to clean it later.
I bit my lip feeling a light pressure on my shoulders, I looked at Mrs. Jeon feeling my palms sweating crazy.
How can say to her that I'm Mirae, it might be embracing to an extent as she already pointed me as an uh- a whore?
"I- Mrs. Jeon is uh little hard to say... That girl that used to look after your son in exchange for educational support, is me —Mirae-ah; after Paris, I was offered a job in his company so- yeah" I gulped nervously.
I don't even know how to speak to her, I didn't see her for 10 years. Speaking to her feels like a foreign feeling in the tip of my tongue.
"It's really nice to meet you again..." I said giving her a genuine smile.
Jungkook's mother broke into a big smile as a nostalgic expression washed over her broken emotions. What a nice feeling seeing her smile, I haven't forgotten how she treated me but- I just want to think positive. Is it a crime?
"Oh my god, f-for r-real?" She gasped holding her tears in, then she looked at me confused maybe at why I'm in her son's house.
"I had a little trouble yesterday, Jungkook was kind enough to give me a lift" I'm never drinking that drenching alcoholic drink ever again.
She smiled at me as if understanding what I'm trying to say, I couldn't move since Jungkook held tightly on to me. I could feel the soft rhythm of his heart similarly matching my nervous beats —except his ones might be the anger flowing through his blood.
I just realized how he's holding on to me —in front of Mrs. Jeon. Unfortunately, I blushed as I cleared my throat. I poked Jungkook but he just wouldn't budge.
Muscle pig.
Watching Mrs. Jeon, it looked like she had dark bags under her eyes —worse than she had before, she seems genuinely tired. Not physically but emotionally, she's fighting something —a mother's worst nightmare.
She was a crying mess, I really really wanted to go and hug her but-
"So...what's your problem why don't you get out of my house" Jungkook barked angrily.
"No she's not going anywhere" I snapped back.
Mrs. Jeon looked between us containing her timid smile, her eyes shone brightly "it's fine Mirae-ah, I'll just go now —I don't want to force him into anything because of my own selfishness"
"Get out" Jungkook demanded sternly glaring daggers at his mother.
"Jungkook, please" I scolded as a warningly.
"I have just wish... Please" Mrs. Jeon spoke.
His mother's eyes filled with pain, her face hurtful —clearly visible. She forces a smile bowing at us "just once, please come for dinner tomorrow –just for a short time" she begged
"No-"
"Of course" I replied trying shake Jungkook's hand from mine but no vail "we'll definitely come, it's been a long time Mrs. Jeon I would love come for dinner, uh- do you want me to drive you-"
"Oh no is fine, my driver is with me" she smiled bowing one more time before leaving.
She looked back at Jungkook, not regretting a single ounce —that, that cold, vitriolic, I'll-natured, emotionless man is her son.
She looked she wanted to say more to us. My heart can genuinely not take this broken relationship between them.
What a quick reunion, how far will it go?
•••
I slowly walked into the living room cleaning all the broken pieces of the vase, after Mrs. Jeon left —Jungkook immediately went to his office. I found out it's quite fancy and big, right next to his bedroom.
And afterward, breakfast was great. I'm just a little too embarrassed to ask him more, oh well.
Every time I think about how he spoke to his mother, then even going as far as hitting her. It must've wounded his mother's heart more than as much I have ever been bullied or picked on.
I want to help him, something is going on with him —I need to find out what it is. He definitely isn't normal after all his behavior —is the most irregular of most children when he was a small child.
The boy has a confusing behavior, everything about him gets me confused. They say he's diagnosed with something, even the doctors can't figure out what the problem is.
Yet sometimes he's so normal you can't figure out what is wrong with him. The symptoms are so hard to detect, is not even considered psychopathic.
His brain just functions differently but his emotions are an entanglement of dark emotions, a series of confusion and just... Cold.
"At least you shouldn't have broken this cute vase" I mumbled after cleaning the floor.
I passed my time looking for Jungkook's office, I really need to go home. I stayed too long in his house. I knocked and opened every single room but he was nowhere. I forgot where his bedroom is. The apartment is not even that big —or maybe it is.
I sighed giving up on knocking, I bruised my knuckles enough.
I came towards another door, without knocking I tried to open the door but it just wouldn't budge. I pressured my weight on the door trying to push it open until something clicked.
Gravity played games with me as I flew like a bee and ended up on someone.
"You can never do batter" I heard his chest vibrate.
Oh, fudge of sweet strawberry vanilla cake!
Blushing, I tried to pry away from his hold but he just tightened the hold staring into my eyes —I cleared my throat feeling fuzzy "uh, you can let go"
"If I do will you come back to me"
"What no, I have to go home —I think I had stayed enough. I'll return these clothes tomorrow or–"
"You're missing a whole day of work because of your immature drinking problems, I have the right to keep you as long as I want —am I not your boss?" He quirked an eyebrow with a smirk.
"I don't have a drinking problem" I muttered annoyed "f-fine but can I just call Jenni–"
"No" is he serious!
"Why?"
"You ask too much"
"Then please let me go, you're holding me extremely inappropriately" I gulped nervously feeling his muscle under my hands "this is strictly business purpose..."
"Really?" he realized me like the piece of simple cloth I am and locked the door behind me.
I'm getting annoyed now.
"Why are you locking the door!"
He glared at me coming short strands towards me like a predator, "to mess with a few rules" he spoke darkly with the coldest chuckle.
"I need to find out if you really are that bitch or not —I'm getting very impatient this days" he laughed "–why do you take everything seriously, you have done wrong as well"
His voice made my cold shivers down my spine "Jungkook, what you are doing is extremely wrong" I pressed into the matter with a serious tone.
"Aha..." he mocked walking towards me slowly, as I stepped back every time he moved closer.
My heart thumped every time his eyes seemed to have gone lifeless, his odd behavior is frightening the chills out of me.
"Your act with your mother was disgusting–"
"And maybe you should shut the fuck up because you don't know anything. You don't know me, what if I do the same to you as I was going to do to that lady" he won't even call her his mother.
His tone and the aura from him —it's killing me.
He kept taking slow steps towards me, his eyes were depressingly empty.
"S-stop" I stuttered warningly, rather scared at his behavior "stop!" I shouted at him.
His knuckles turned white as he fisted his muscles, a mocking laugh left his mouth in the most painful way. I'm not sure if I imagined but maybe —a single drop of tear melted onto the carpet.
"Why?" He whispered.
He glanced at me through his lashes as he looked down, somehow enchanted by the deep grey color of the carpet. A mellifluous chuckle.
"All the times, now you're scared of me aren't you? But you're not scared when Jimin approaches you like that. You really thought I would hurt you?" Why is he confusing me? "You even enjoyed staying away from everyone —enjoying the blissful moment with that trashcan..."
He swiftly plopped down on a sofa, keeping his head low directly looking down as his hair covered his eyes.
I couldn't see his face properly. I was in a faze where I couldn't move. My pulse is beating bullets through my chest —maybe for other reasons.
"...maybe I never had a good impression towards you. Did I ever? but for you, I'm doing the most ridiculous things ...my fucking head is driving me crazy" he breathed deeply holding his head tightly "why aren't you the way I saw you before" he whispered.
"Jungkook, what are you speaking about?" I asked genuinely confused.
"No!" He shouted shaking his head gripping his hair tight "why aren't you looking beyond what you see physically, I need you to save me...please —my head, my head is feeding me lies, they're trapped in that stupid entanglement of lies and lies!"
He isn't acting normal, not at all.
"Jungkook..." I slowly walked up to him, my eyes hungry to release a blend of tears.
I may be a cry baby for anything, I just liked that one thing I have of my mother.
He's hurt, I can now see.
Generally, it hurts me too see people go through pain.
Why is he in so much pain? Why now suddenly? Why can't the stupid doctors try to figure out with him —or even run a test with his blood, his mother isn't giving up until she finds out what has caused her son to become a stoic, stone-cold person just out of a minute.
As a mother Mrs. Jeon wants to know why Jungkook did not speak until he fully turned 4 years old. He never shed a single tear, he didn't cry as most babies adopt later in a few weeks. He didn't cry for food. He was an emotionless mess.
It was as if he was a porcelain doll. He was dead. Emotionless.
I can never put between a mother's pain but I understand her resilience towards her son.
I want to help him.
Slowly I reached up to him, placing my hands gently on his shoulders as his head still remained down.
I crouched down holding his hands, he still didn't look at him.
His breathing was ragged and slow "Jungkook, there's nothing wrong with you" I put my other hand on his cheek.
" —people are just born in a way they hold different specialties and differ from the rest. You're special —I see you as a special person. You have skills, you're everything a man envies to be —please just see it as a blessing, see what you can do and get"
"Just stop chatting shit Mirae, you know nothing about the voices in my head —eating me alive" he suddenly gripped my wrists, his dark green eyes stared into my eyes deeply —devouring my soul in his empty one.
He simply stared into me, his facial expression as soft and delicate while giving me the rare smile I yearned to see a long time ago.
"At times I wish you weren't an angel, even look like one" he stroked my cheeks making me blush.
"This world will one day come to destroy you; you know that right, we're... just minorities —even when the sun will explode we will already be under the ground..."
"...Do you know how scary death is, it's so fascinating for me to see this nature in so many ways —death can hold many precious forgotten memories —it keeps them safe and sound, it keeps secrets safe because no one can find it out" he kept stroking my cheeks consciously.
I was so into at what he's saying I forgot about the world, his tone was so mellifluous and flawless.
"Death locks away the scary superstitious feelings you feel... Yet it shows the reality of those feelings. Everything is real, people are just idiots —they don't realize how close we are to death. Life is just a one-time thing in this world —"
"I'm sorry, I don't seem to comprehend you?" I interrupted.
Jungkook sighed, not daring to look away from my eyes —slowly he turned his head away for following the large hand if the big clock on the wall.
"It's just a matter of moving on sweetheart and time is golden, just like it's so easy for other people that say it —but it excavates a fucking hole through my soul. I don't want to forget, I want to deal with it, I want to know that I can, and have the power and authority over"
My eyes softened at his painful honesty, he's indirectly feeling pain.
He's more lost than most of us, my sudden behavior hadn't ruined the moment but it did increase a few beats in my chest.
My heart thumped deep, enclosed in this small study —the air conscious of oxygen. The simplicity of his tone made me want to hear it over and over again. Almost playing it like a broken radio.
I softly leaned into him and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek.
"Then deal with it... I'm trying —I don't know you well but I'm trying too... For you" I whispered not knowing why I'm feeling out of breath.
His touch intoxicates the oxygen around me, making it very difficult to pick up my normal heartbeat. I owe him that, as much as he does now.
If I hadn't known how to describe the moment in words. Maybe I wouldn't know, maybe because I hadn't expected that coming.
He held my head and sinfully pulled me into an invigorating kiss.
His hands gently gripped the back of my waist pulling me impossibly closer, I know it's wrong but it's like I'm drunk all over again.
Is either a sinful act I'm trying to stay away from —now dealing with it.
The feeling is so out of control, such a sinful act invading my heart, making me enjoy the sole skinship with his.
It isn't sexual, it's out of that ridiculous term. It's like something happened out of serendipity and the feeling of euphoria blasting in my heart —If it's maybe epiphany that my heart has found to be.
The feeling almost left me out of breath. His scent was too intoxicating for me to stay alive.
"Don't say this is wrong, cos I don't give a shit" he mumbled against my lips, covering them with mine again.
His lips massaged against mine, lithely speeding up the passion in its glory. The taste of fresh chocolate coffee in his mouth, molding with mine.
His hands have decided to take my hair band off and let all that tied hair down.
He took his sweet time not wasting a single breath.
Jungkook pulled away with a sweet smirk plastered in his beautiful structure face, his eyes held a demure yet a mischievous glint and of satisfactory, a sweet gesture of him gracefully tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my hair —reddening my cheeks much more.
"I should've done that a long time ago"