Valerie:
Tara walked out of the dressing room wearing a strapless puffy and beautiful dress. She had an amazing body and that dress was making sure to let everyone know. I gave her a smile and a thumbs up
"do you think this one would be it?" Tara asked looking at it in the mirror, I nodded eagerly and she purses her lips in thought.
"maybe I should go and put on the previous one" she started putting her hair on a bun with a hair tie and she looked at the low cut on the dress that showed her entire back.
"I have 1 more dress to show you and then we can try on the bridesmaids dresses" the girl from the store said excitedly, I wasn't really enjoying to try on dresses, but if I committed to be a bridesmaid the least I can do is have a good attitude towards the whole wedding.
It was getting closer and closer. It was already done, Noah was never going to be mine, and I had to accept it. My irrational fear of committing in a relationship with Chad should go away, I was probably being so annoying to him... rejecting his dates and all.
She came out wearing the last dress and my mouth fell open from surprise, the dress had beautiful details and looked amazing on her, I don't know if I've said it enough but I envy her life so much.
(a/n: Pic of the dress on top)
She absolutely loved it too, since she couldn't take her eyes off of it in the mirror and her eyes were watery. She looked so happy
"you know you have to take this one, right?" I say standing up from the little chair and giving her a hug, she was crying and nodding
"this is the one" she said chuckling and hugging me happily.
She went back into the dresser and walked out wearing her regular clothes, and then she made me stand up from my chair.
"okay, now since none of the other bridesmaids are here, you'll have the privilege to pick the dress" she said excitedly as we went to a big rack full or colored dresses organized like a rainbow, it was incredible.
We started picking up dresses, Tara was like a little girl in a toy store, I was glad I could make her so happy with such a simple act, she needed a friend as much as I did.
After trying on tons of dresses we picked up a Teal one and sent pictures to the others bridesmaids to see what they thought.
When we were packing everything, Tara's phone started to ring.
"hey baby" she picked up and I gave her a soft smile even though the thought of Noah with anybody else still made my heart wrench.
I stepped away and pretended to be watching the racks of dresses to give her some space.
This annoying feeling inside me Had to stop. But I didn't know how to make it stop. I couldn't even take off the damn charm bracelet, now I had to watch them get married.
Marvelous!!!
What kind of mess did I get myself into? I'm still in time to cancel on the bridesmaid thing... and then what? Go on for another 3 years without knowing where Noah is? Ugh.
God, if you're out there, please, Kill me now
"V?" Tara's voice approached me and I turned around giving her a soft smile. She returned it
"do you want to hang out tonight?" she asked softly and I pursue my lips thinking.
"where?"
"my place, we can have wine and chat..." she suggested and I thought about it
"last time I went there, I kinda fucked up..." I say remembering the little incident in Noah's birthday. That day was terrible.
"nonsense, cmon it'll be fun" she said grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the dress shop. I kinda didn't have anything else to do and I just let her guide me and pull me in a cab with her.
We reach her apartment and I cringe at the terrible memories, it is all organized neatly and it looks way bigger now that there nobody in there.
We sit down on the couch and Tara comes with two glasses of wine and bowl with peanuts.
"do you live here with Noah?" there is nobody home, and I think it's not a weird question to ask. However I would much rather to hear he doesn't live here.
"no, he's got his own place" she says mindlessly and I simply nod, not knowing how to follow up to that response
"where will you guys live when you get married?" am I being too snoopy? Should I not ask these kind of stuff? I know I'd ask even if the groom Wasn't Noah.
"we're not sure, I think here... My apartment is bigger than Noah's, he makes way more than I do but he says he doesn't need much space." she shrugs and I simply nod. We spent most of our relationship in my small dorm and we never really cared about the size of it.
"is it weird that I ask this stuff?" how awkward Valerie, now you made it weird
"not really, we can't avoid talking about Noah forever, besides, you're with Chad now" she gives me a reassuring smile and I smile softly not knowing how to feel about that.
"I'm not officially seeing Chad" I say rolling my eyes playfully and she giggles shaking her head
"I saw him showered leaving for work after staying at your place. Not a walk of shame, not a one night stand" she presses on and I laugh a little
"we're adult people with responsabilities, as fun as it is to sleep around, it's better to be able to go straight to work without rushing too much to come back to your own home after a fun night, right?" I reason and she giggles again. She won't rest until I tell her Chad's my boyfriend.
"still, I know Chad, it won't take him long to ask you to be official or whatever, he is such relationship guy" she tells me that but I find it hard to believe, 3 years ago, he barely lasted a month with the same girl, it was crazy.
"I think we're both okay with the way we're handling this" I say trying to not sound annoyed by the way she keeps pushing me with my relationship with Chad, then there's a ring in the bell
"it must be the guy's" she stands up excitedly and I look at her with widened eyes.
"which guys?" I say frowning, hoping they're not the guys I think.
"Noah and Chad, silly" she giggles and turns around to the door and I grab her hand
"are you crazy? Tara, I don't know what's on your head, but this is too awkward" I hiss and she laughs shaking her head
"it's only awkward if you make it awkward" she says leaving to the main door and I sigh heavily sitting back in the couch and quickly finishing my whole glass of wine.
Both guys come inside wearing suits and I smile softly at Chad while Noah is hugging and kissing Tara.
Chad looks at me with such a sweet smile and I feel bad for thinking about Noah all day when I have a beautiful and charming man trying to win me over.
He sits down next to me and kisses my cheek softly, the gesture feeling so endearing. I turn my head to him and pout a little
"that's not where I wanted a kiss..." I keep pouting playfully and he chuckles cutely. I keep frowning Missing the feeling of his lips on mine
"I thought you didn't want to look coupley around our friends" he whispers softly in my ear
"well, maybe not everyone, but Tara and Noah know we're dating, so it's okay in front of them, I think"
"so we're dating, huh?" He smirks playfully and I roll my eyes
"not precisely" I reply stubbornly but maybe what Tara has been saying is true, I just didn't want to admit it.
"you know we are, V" he chuckles shaking his head and relaxing himself in the couch. I decide not to say anything else and I quickly steal a peck from his lips. He seems pleased by my action and I go back to my previous position only to realize both Tara and Noah were watching our interactions.
I wonder how long have they been standing there
"mind your own business guys! " I joke rolling my eyes and I scoot a little closer to Chad, Noah sits down on the other side of the living room and Tara comes back with a tray with 4 glasses of wine.
I look at Noah trying to decipher what's on his mind, but he looks strangely serious. Tara did mention he wasn't a ray of sunshine but I didn't think it was possible that such a lovely and happy person as he used to be, was now a serious and expressionless man.
The whole room had an awkward vibe, of course I knew this was going to happen I don't know what's on Tara's mind, honestly.
"sooo" Tara started, trying to break that terrible silence "V and me were trying on dresses today" she tried to say, both Chad and Noah looked up at her "the bridesmaids dresses are going to be so gorgeous, V looked Super hot in it" she said smiling sweetly at me
"I don't doubt that, she's absolutely gorgeous" Chad said kissing my temple sweetly. Noah looked at us but I still couldn't read his expression. He had a little frown, our eyes locked together for a few seconds and I felt like I could see through them, he looked... Sad?
I snap out of it and try to carry on with the conversation, I hope Tara didn't notice the way we looked at each other "you're not so bad yourself, Mr. Wickens" I say smiling softly and Chad chuckles. Tara is just looking at us like you see a couple of old people. She's fascinated by our relationship. I wonder if hers is so bad that she finds interest in everyone else's.
"Chad, you have to get yourself a Teal tie, so you will be matching V's dress, for the pictureeeessss, you two will look so cuteeee" she kept saying excitedly, I'm not dumb, she wants to make sure I'm with Chad so there are fewer chances for Noah and me. Clever girl
It just feels so weird. Why is she so eager to be my friend, then? If she doesn't want me around Noah and her... maybe she wants to keep her enemies closer? Am I her enemy? Maybe she's just like me, she is glad she found a friend but she hates the circumstances...
"Tara... enough with the pictures " I say giving her a stern look and she giggles, probably starting to get tipsy, I asked her not to say these things and jinx it.
"you don't think you'll be with me then, right?" he says raising an eyebrow and I widen my eyes in surprise
"I.. I didn't say that, I mean I.. I don't know, I don't want to get ahead of the-"
He chucked cutting me off and shook his head "it's fine, V, I'll prove to you that I can last that long with someone" he winked and squeezed my hand in assurance. Noah stays oddly quiet, I take glances at him every once in a while, and he notices, I catch him looking at mebtoo sometimes , but it doesn't make us uncomfortable to catch each other staring. It's like none of us can help it
"the only couple that's gonna look absolutely gorgeous is Noah and Tara" I try to make Noah spoke but he only turns his head to look at Tara.
"baby, I wish you could see my dress, it's gorgeous" she says leaning her head on Noah's shoulder and he kisses her hair. He hasn't spoken a word but he looks so cute giving her at least that little of affection.
"I'm sure you'll look lovely, I can't wait to see you in it..." he pauses giving her a soft smile and then continues " and can't wait to take it off of you"
I know it should be a joke, and Noah even tried to talk low, but we all heard it. Tara and Chad let out a laughter and I had to pretend the same even though the little comment took me by surprise and made my heart ache.
Fuck Valerie. Stop wanting your friends fiancé and pay attention to the man sitting next to you, for fucks sake.
The night kept going casually. We would talk about random stuff, either about one of our jobs or trivial things like politics, the weather, the traffic.
Niah kept acting weird, but now a couple of times that I catch him staring he would smile a little at me or wink his eye to make sure I know he caught me looking at him too. His smile making me melt inside, but also making me feel guilty for enjoying it so much knowing he is a taken man.
By midnight we were all pretty wasted and Chad and I were saying goodbye to Tara and Noah. I hugged Tara and Chad hugged Noah, Noah was whispering some things in Chad's ears, when Chad pulled away he was frowning a little , then we switched to hug the other person.
I wrapped my arms around Noah and he hugged me back tightly. I felt like I hadn't hug him in centuries. His smell was the same and I wished I could just hide my face in his neck and run my fingers through his hair. I closed my eyes and held him tightly trying to treasure the couple of seconds I had.
Why can't you be mine?
I wish I could tell him this telepathically or something. That way he'd knew what I'm thinking about.
But that would be so selfish. Why would I make him feel bad about his engagement when he didn't do nothing wrong? He moved on, what he was supposed to do
I pulled away softly not wanting our hug to last too long to make Tara or Chad uncomfortable , but I swear I could've stayed there in his arms for hours. I gave both Noah and Tara a smile and turned around leaving their house holding Chad's hand. He had a frown in his face, I hope he didn't find my hug with Noah so weird.
It wasn't such a terrible night. I guess. But instead of wanting Chad more and Noah less the opposite happened.
Am I ever going to stop feeling like this?
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A/N: I don't know what's the best time to upload hehe. what do you guys think? at what time do you read the most?
Is Noah really Jealous? or he is just never happy since valerie and him are not always together?