Set in AU
Dean Winchester and Cas Novak were relationship goals at Lawrence High School. No, seriously, that is literally the title Charlie Bradbury gave them.
But it was also completely true. The two boys were happy together, they only fought over fandom related topics (Like who would win in a fight; John Wick or the Punisher), and they borrowed each other's jackets and were generally adorable with each other.
Even the teachers shipped them. It was impossible not to.
And so practically the whole school sighed with fangirl content at the end of the day as Dean and Cas walked off campus, hand in hand.
"Can I give you a ride home?" Dean asked.
"Sure," Cas agreed. He smiled shyly. "You could hang out there for a little while, if you want." Dean blinked in surprise. Cas never let him over his house. Sure, Dean knew where he lived and had picked him up and dropped him off there dozens of times, but he'd never been inside before.
"Okay," He grinned. So they drove to Cas's house. Cas paused at the door and glanced back at his boyfriend.
"I should warn you," he admitted. "My family is a little.....weird."
"I can handle weird." Dean insisted. Cas looked skeptical.
Dean wasn't sure what he meant by weird. He knew that Cas had like, a million siblings, and that his dad was a writer. Cas didn't have a mother, but his aunt lived with them so that Chuck wouldn't go completely insane from all the kids.
"If you say so." Cas commented, opening the door. His siblings had taken the bus home earlier, so they were already home when the pair walked in.
"I'M HOME!" Cas yelled out.
"About time!" A voice called out. A short kid slid down the staircase railing and jumped to the floor, pausing at the sight of Dean.
"Gabe, you remember Dean," Cas insisted. Dean waved. He knew Gabriel- he was friends with Dean's brother. Gabriel smirked at him.
"CASSIE BROUGHT HIS BOYFRIEND HOME!!!" Gabe screeched and Cas and Dean winced at the assault to their ears.
"WHAT?" An older, blonde boy stumbled into the room, tripped on his feet and collapsed on the floor in front of them. He was quickly followed by a slightly younger boy that Dean vaguely recognized from school, and three girls.
"Howdy Cassie's boyfriend," The guy on the floor said, holding out a hand. "I'm Satan. Welcome to hell." Dean paused.
"This is Lucifer." Cas explained. "AKA Satan. He's the oldest."
"And the favorite." Lucifer added.
"Bitch please," Gabriel declared. "We all know Hannah's the favorite, Luci."
"Not true!" One of the girls said defiantly.
"Totally true." The other boy agreed.
"And that's Anna, Balthazar, Hannah, Hael, and Alfie should be around here somewhere if they haven't killed him." Cas offered. "There's also Raphael and Gadreel, but they're in college. And then there's my cousin Metatron who lives here sometimes."
"You mean Douche-atron?" Lucifer asked.
"Big family." Dean commented.
"Oh yeah." Cas agreed. "We're all insane too."
"So, does this mean we get all the dirty details about your relationship now?" Hael questioned.
"No," Cas said sternly.
"YES." Lucifer countered. "So, who tops?"
"Have you ever Australian french kissed?" Anna asked.
"Who's a better kisser?" Hannah questioned.
"Do you fart rainbows?" A little boy popped up and asked. Dean assumed that was Alfie.
"Ignore them," Cas pleaded, grabbing Dean's hand and dragging him upstairs and into his room, slamming the door behind them.
Dean stopped, realizing that this was the first time he had ever been in Cas's room. Sure, Cas shared it with Balthazar, seeing as there were like ten kids in the house, but it was easy to see which side belonged to Cas, and which side was Balthazar's.
The room was neat and clean, but Cas's bed was neatly made. His desk was cleaned up and his dresser was covered with different fandom figurines and pictures. IT was the small bookcase that sold it. The books were organized in a mad fashion, crumpled papers, notebooks, pictures of Dean and Cas from the cheap photo booths at the mall were stuck to it, and there were stickers covering the entire piece of furniture.
Dean smirked at it.
"So, as you can see, this is my room." Cas declared. "Well, mine and Balthie's, but he's hardly here anyways."
"Nice bookcase." Dean commented. Cas smiled.
"Thanks." Suddenly, the alarm clock near Cas's bed went off, blasting an annoying beeping sound into the room and causing them both to jump. Cas glanced over at the clock. "Oh shit- what day of the week is it?"
"Monday?" Dean offered, confused.
"Crap, I forgot."
"Forgot what?" Cas sighed and looked at him.
"Well, you're about to witness the weirdest tradition my family has, so get ready." They left Cas's room, and Dean could hear alarms blasting in practically every room of the house.
"I GOT HIM!!!!" Lucifer screamed from downstairs.
"CASSIE GET THE SPEAKER!!!!" Gabriel called. Dean looked even more confused as Cas grabbed a speaker and hooked up his phone to it, scrolling through the music on it.
"What's going on?" Dean asked.
"What's your favorite song by Celine Dion?" Cas asked suddenly.
"Um, I dunno.....Ashes?" Dean guessed, because that song was in Deadpool 2, and Dean loved Deadpool.
"Perfect." Cas commented. "IT'S ASHES WEEK PEOPLE!"
"FREAK YES!!!!" Hannah called.
"Come with me," Cas pulled Dean down the stairs, and he only got more confused when he saw Lucifer pining a struggling Balthazar to the floor.
"NO!" Balthazar yelled out. "Not her! ANYTHING BUT HER!" Lucifer cackled in response, and all of Cas's siblings gathered around, laughing as Cas set the speaker on the table.
"My brother has an unusually strong hatred for Celine Dion." Cas explained. "So we torture him every week by singing one of her songs." He clicked play.
"NOOOOOO!!!!!" Balthazar screamed bloody murder at the sound and fought against Lucifer as hard as he could. "MAKE IT STOP!!!"
"What's left to say? These prayers ain't working anymore," Anna started.
"Every word shot down in flaaaames," Hael went on.
"What's left to do with these broken pieces on the floor?" Gabriel sang.
"I'm losing my voice calling on yooooou" Satan sang out.
"'Cause I've been shaking," Dean blinked in surprise as Cas started to sing. He had a much better singing voice then he expected. "I've been bending backwards till I'm broke, Watching all these dreams go up in smoooooooke!"
And then, as the chorus hit, the calm, peaceful singing disappeared as all the siblings screamed out the chorus, off-key and loudly to muffle up Balthazar's screaming.
"LET BEAUTY COME OUT OF AAAAAASHES, LET BEAUTY COME OUT OF AAAAAASHES!!!! AND WHEN I PRAY TO GOD, AAAAAAAAAAAALL I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAASK IIIIIIISSSSSS, CAN BEAUTY COME OOOOUT OF AAAAAAAASHESSSSS!!!!"
"Can you use these tears to put out the fires in my soul?" Hannah soloed now, the song calm again.
"'Cause I need you here, woooooooooooah" Alfie piped in.
"'Cause I've been shaking," Satan sang, with a surprisingly decent voice. "I've been bending backwards till I'm broke, Watching all these dreams go up in smooooooke." They glanced over at Dean, who shrugged and joined in.
"LET BEAUTY COME OUT OF AAAAASHES, LET BEAUTY COME OOOUT OF AAAAAASHES, AND WHEN I PRAY TO GOD, AAAAAALL I AAAAAAAAASK IS, CAN BEAUTY COME OUT OF AAAASHES? CAN BEAUTY COME OUT OF ASSSHHHHESSSSSS!!!!!!"
Balthazar was screaming like someone was slowly carving his limbs off, and then Chuck stormed into the room.
"Stop torturing your brother!" He yelled at them. "And Balthazar, quit screaming or the neighbors will call social services on us again." They all stopped and Chuck glanced at each of them in turn, stopping on Dean.
Dean could see him doing the mental tally of his children when he didn't recognize him.
"And whoever this kid is," Chuck pointed at him. "He can't stay- I've got too many college payments to worry about as it is." Then he stormed away, quickly as he had entered, and Lucifer released Balthazar, who fled from the room instantly.
"I HATE YOU ALL." He yelled to his siblings. Cas turned to Dean.
"Sorry about that," He apologized. "What do you want to do now?" Dean blinked, and he broke into a grin.
"Cas, your family is awesome."
"I know."