"Should we like meet at someone's house or?"
"thats a little to straightforward for a first time so no how bout this café?" No, damnit! Why did I send the link now we're going to have to talk and all that I should've suggested a place where we could do more stuff.
"You make it sound so weird HAHA 'first time'." I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and I quickly typed out the thing that came first to my head.
"fuck u" Didn't know he had such a dirty mind.
"I wonder if you have the guts to say that in real life :)" I scoffed and gave my screen a bitchy stare. 'Have the guts' what a joke.
"wanna bet"
"Sure." Oh, it's on alright.
I still can't believe we're going to see each other like for real tomorrow. It's insane. Thinking such surreal thoughts with a headache isn't the best either. I sipped on my tea that sits on my nightstand. Life saviour. Just kidding, pills and water is my saviour. Tea is just a bonus.
Without much thought I wrote something random, "i have a hangover" Why did I write that?
"I didn't know you drink."I'm not even old enough.
"i dont"
"usually" I added.
"Why did you decide to drink now then?"
Because I realised I have feelings for you and I didn't know how to handle that like a normal human being so I turned to alcohol and I also smoked a little before but I didn't mention that since then it would make me sound like a total addict, and I really, really care about your opinion of me since I have a fantasy in my head that we're going to hold hands and run into the sunset or something like that and that won't happen if you don't like me back so, yeah.
"just felt like it"
I groaned into my pillow.
"im gonna take a nap ttyl" I didn't even wait for his reply even though I kinda wanted to read it and instead hit the hay or whatever you call it.
It was easier to fall asleep in the middle of the day, weirdly enough.
At five AM it was pretty cold outside.
I watched the smoke that escaped my lips dance out into the night air. The sun was just starting to show. I rolled the cigarette between my fingers as I stared at the pitch black sky from my window. I swear this is the last cigarette in like years. Unless something else big happens but you know.
My toes felt like they were going to turn into ice cubes and then snap off, yet I still wiggled with them above my window frame. It was nice sitting on the slim frame with cold air whipping my face every now and then.
Me and Dominic decided to meet early since otherwise I might wuss out if I had more time to think during the day. Not that I told him that.
In three hours I was going to meet the guy I met online. This sentence doesn't make a lot of sense but at the same time it kinda does.
I flicked the cigarette butt out the window. Ops.
Then I slipped my legs down onto the floor again and put my candelabra back to its rightful place. I know I'm going to change outfit like ten thousand times to I might as well start now. I blew up my cheeks and then huffed out the air, deflating them as I grazed my clothing in my wardrobe.
I never really was very stylish.
I had a couple of black t-shirts, some red nike shirts, some grey, some with weird prints and different colours. I didn't have a lot to choose from. I wonder what Dominic is going to wear?
I ended up not being very fancy, that would be weird. A green hoodie that apparently makes my "eyes pop" according to Paige and a pair of black ripped jeans. While looking in the mirror I couldn't help but think, not bad.
I mean after smoking and sleeping all day and not sleeping a wink at night and being a complete mess inside my head, I look pretty good.
I snuck down to the bathroom and cursed every time the stairs felt like it was a good time to creak so loudly my ears bled. I already know what happens when I decide to try and do my hair with gel or wax. I didn't look like a disaster on Christmas Eve but that was pure luck.
I splashed some water on my locks to try and calm them a little at least. When I was done laying my hair flat I finished it up by messing with it a bit, making it stand in every direction in a messy-hot way. I might've stared at myself in the mirror for just a little bit to long but it's fine.
Now, I'm starving.
I tiptoed to the kitchen like my life depended on it and I opened up the fridge in slow motion. There wasn't much, just some yogurt, milk, butter and some other stuff. I ended up taking the yogurt. Sorry Mom, I know you love yogurt but I took the last one.
My eyes found the dog themed clock across the hall and I gulped as I saw that it had already gone an hour. I must really be doing everything with the speed of a sloth. I wonder if Dominic is awake right now? Is he preparing? Is he nervous? Maybe he's doing his hair or eating, like me?
I sighed and threw my head on the table. I'm nervous. Like really, really nervous.
What if he doesn't like me? Or maybe he'll think my double chin is ugly- wait I don't have one unless I press my face together but still. What if he'll get pissed off at me? What if we fight? But why would we fight? Because I can be a prick when I'm stressed, sleep deprived, nervous and high on crushing?
If we did fight it would probably be about something stupid. Like if pineapple goes on pizza or not. It's nearly impossible to imagine us fighting. I wonder why that is?
I threw the empty box with the yogurt label on it in the trashcan. I stared into space for two seconds, thinking about nothing and everything then I pulled out my phone.
Dominic's online.
"hi"
"You're up early."
"you too"
"Mm."
It felt weird between us. Like we were both standing on either side of a locked door then suddenly one of us has the key in their hand. It was hard to talk or write in this case as the door muffled our voices.
"why" I wrote.
"I don't know. I just woke up earlier then I thought. What about you?"
"i didnt really sleep much"
"Well you've been out like a light all day so that's no shocker."
"true"
"I know it's a bit early, especially since I only need like 20 minutes to get ready but I should go and get some stuff done. See you soon :)"
I swallowed and slumped down into my seat with a sigh. The yogurt still left a taste in my mouth. I tried to focus on everything other than the fact that me and Dominic are seriously about to breath about a meter away from each other soon.
My green eyes bore holes into the clock as I let it do its work.
The café was quiet today. Usually it's pretty busy, although it is kind of early. Especially thinking about the fact that I came here about 15 minutes earlier than I should. I was never one to be early yet here we are.
My leg was jumping up and down so much it was nearly hitting the table and I turned to chewing my nails since I didn't want Dominic to see me with a bloody lip. I stared at the door in horror. I could still leave. I could say I got sick or something and then I don't need to deal with these fucking feelings. It's so embarrassing looking at him while knowing I'm hopelessly into him.
I feel bad for rejecting Mikayla. Just imagining Dominic rejecting me seemed like the end of the world. Hey, at least I have music in my ears.
It was nice seeing the chill café scenery with Please never fall in love again by Ollie MN in my ears. As cliché as it sounds I always think about Dominic when I hear this song even dare to think of it as 'our song'. He'll laugh at me if I ever tell him that.
I flip up my phone. "im the lonely looking guy with a green hoodie and earphones" I hope he smiles at that.
"I could've guessed that ;)" Dick. I smiled.
I took a breath and continued to wait. Only a few minutes later the door opens. With a chest full of hope I look at the entryway and see no one other than... That douche who sleeps in hallways? What's he doing here so early? What's he doing here at all?
I watch him curiously as he looks around the room, is he looking for someone? Or maybe he's just looking for another place to sleep, what do I know? Ugh, just seeing him makes me irritated. I can't believe I just can't let that incident go. Or actually no, I do believe I know why I can't let it go, it's because he was just so mean!
I was so nice yet he just treated me with such disrespect. I might seem childish but I don't fucking care. I rolled my eyes and was about to write to Dominic again to hurry his ass up but sleepy boy did something weird.
His dark brown eyes searched and searched until they stopped, and they stopped on me.
I saw how the realisation dawns upon him with front row seats and he slowly starts to make his way over to me while clutching onto his usual black coat. What the hell is going on? I raised a brow while keeping my eyes on him. I might seem calm on the outside but inside I was on fire. My heart was in overdrive and the blood in my body was rushing to my head. I felt dizzy. I already know.
As he stands by the end of the table I take out my headphones. The world suddenly seemed to go faster as he leans down to go closer to me. Panic was what I felt.
This can't...No...
"Is it you?"
Hell no.