" I saw he was loved out of pity,
The worst kind of love there is.
To keep a hold on someone,
Because you think they're weak "
Iris's P.O.V.
Nine pm and I heard the front door of the house open.
I was in the kitchen blending some fruits to make a smoothie when Dylan walked in.
" Hey babe. Where's Louisa?" He came up to me and kissed my forehead.
" She slept early, I think her dance class was too stressful today"
He chuckled at my response and moved straight to the refrigerator to grab an ice cream bowl.
" Dylan? Don't even think about running, you promised" Hunter's voice preceeds his presence before he appeared.
We maintain eye contact for less than a second before he looks to his cousin.
" Chill out dude, I promised and I don't fail" Dylan said as he shoved an overfull spoon of ice cream into his mouth.
Hunter only scoffed and walked out.
And as usual, ignoring my presence.
It took every muscle to hide how much this affected me.
" Iris is there something going on that I don't know of?" Dylan asked with a voice of confusion.
" What? No.. why do you ask?" My voice trembled though I suspect it isn't obvious.
" So is it normal for you and Hunter to not talk for days? Or you guys just choose to talk when I'm not there"
I laughed at his statement and poured myself a glass of my blended mix.
Normal indeed.
" There's simply nothing to say" I sipped my banana and strawberry smoothie and savoured it's lingering taste on my tongue.
" Iris in case you haven't noticed, you're almost tearing up. Your voice is even wavering"
Only when he said it did I feel a tear drop ride down my face.
I really don't know what is wrong with me! Even the day Hunter does nothing he still manages to hurt me badly.
" Dylan I don't know" I keep my glass back on the surface and use my both hands to cover my face.
I feel stupid.
" Just talk to me, what exactly is wrong?" His voice now behind me and he proves it by placing a hand on my shoulder.
" I don't know Dylan! I really don't know, I'm just.. it's just... Arrgh, I have no idea what is wrong with me" I pull at my hair in frustration and more tears slip.
" When did this all start?"
From the moment I discovered something I never expected to.
" I don't know"
" Iris you're confusing me" he scrunched up his brows and stared at my face.
" I think I just need to sleep" I wiped my eyes and try to smile but failed woefully.
" I'm gonna kill Hunter. I swear-"
" Hunter did nothing"
For the first time.
" Huh?"
" Dy, goodnight" I hugged him briefly before leaving the kitchen with my barely touched smoothie.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
3:34am
And I haven't had an ounce of sleep.
I've been tossing and turning about restlessly, taken over five glasses of milk, peed more than eight times, adjusted Louie's position into every possible way but yet I feel like there's something I'm missing. And I think I know what it is.
I need to clear my head.
To do that I'd need to talk to someone, but who?
My parents will freak out if they figure out I'm living with Hunter.
Megan and Meredith will think I'm crazy.
Mason is out of the picture.
Dylan is just too close to Hunter to discuss this with.
That leaves only one option and I think I know who to call.
I grab my phone and sit up on my bed before dialing the number.
It took three rings before it was answered.
" Hello? Iris?"
" Mrs Phoebe I'm so sorry for disturbing you"
" It's okay hun, are you alright?" She yawned while saying that last part.
" I don't know. I can't sleep"
" I would have asked why you can't sleep but your voice tells me something is bothering you"
" Yes, and I want to let it is out so I can sleep" I sighed, finally getting a relief that I can catch some rest.
" alright. Go on"
Then I told her everything.
And by everything, I mean every single thing. Including Hunter's secret.
I know it's wrong but I need someone who will give me rational and fair advice.
Mrs Phoebe loves Me, yes. But she also loves Hunter because he's like a nephew to her, so if anyone is to give me a positive advice on everything it should be her or Dylan but we all know why I won't involve him.
Plus I can actually trust his mom to not say a word.
" Wow. This is not what I was expecting" her first comment to my story.
I chewed on my fingers and waited for her to continue.
" What about you?"
Huh?
" What about me?"
" Iris there's a part you're leaving out, I can feel it. If you want total solution you have to give the entire problem"
That was my theory when I started narrating the story but I felt it wasn't important to make mention.
" I really don't know how to put it" I complained cause it was true.
" Use English dear"
Gee.. thanks.
" Arrgh.. Mrs Phoebe!"
She laughed and I found it comforting at least.
" Fine. These days Hunter and I don't talk anymore. He doesn't even look my way"
" Even at work?"
" Especially at work. Normally, I do have some kind of upper hand in his office. Now I'm just like everyone else"
" So before, he paid you more attention?"
" I guess you could put it like that"
" Have you tried talking to him?"
" Yeah.. many times. But he never responds. He even called me inefficient today"
" Wow, that's got to be harsh"
" It is. It really hurts. More than I think it should"
" Wait! Repeat that"
" It hurts Mrs Phoebe. So bad. I cried tonight cause of it"
" Cause he isn't giving you attention?"
" No... But yes. I know that's not the reason but I'm sure there is a little part of it that is"
" If I don't know better, I'd say you're starting to like him"
My breath hitched.
Like him?
" No... No.. I don't believe you on this"
She chuckled and this time it was less comforting.
" Honestly, what's not to like in him?"
" Err- the fact that he's a beast"
" Was a beast"
" Doesn't change the fact that he's evil"
" Dear from what I hear, Hunter isn't evil anymore"
" That's not true, maybe you didn't hear me right"
" Okay"
"Mrs Phoebe?"
" Yes?"
" You're kidding me right? I can't like Hunter."
" Actually yeah. You can't and you don't. All you're feeling now is pity"
Pity? That's odd.
" How?"
" Analyze it this way, Hunter was someone who's hurt you in ways we can't even begin to mention and now a chance to save his life is in your hands"
" Uhun?"
" That's where your pity comes in. Your subconscious is feeling pity towards Hunter because it knows that in the end, you'd prefer Mason to saving Hunter"
" What!? How can you say that?"
" But you didn't deny it"
" I never accepted either"
" Iris don't pretend with me. You're given a chance to terminate the one person who made you regret life once and live with a guy who makes you happy and is going to make a perfect father for Louisa. Your heart had already made the choice before you thought about it. Your heart aches when he pushes you away because you're trying to get close, trying to be his friend. And do you know why you're doing that?"
" No?"
" Because deep down, you feel he's living his last moments on Earth and that good nature in you is trying to get close to him for that reason. Tell me the truth Iris, if you were asked to make the decision now, pick Mason or get rid of Hunter which would you choose?"
I said nothing cause I knew she had a point.
" So I'm right"
" What can I do?"
" You already know what to do but you don't want to do it"
" I really want to help Hunter too, but he's giving me more reasons not to by pushing me out"
" Did he ever let you in?" She chuckled at her statement but the silent answer to this is actually a yes.
We never became what you could classify as friends but our interaction had gotten different till now.
" I'm scared" I whispered in the receiver.
" Sweetie don't be"
" What if he dies cause of me?" I hated him doesn't mean I have the heart to watch him lose his life.
" You can change that you know"
" Are you advising me to leave Mason?"
" I never said anything. I will never make a decision for you but I'd rather give you choices"
" Your choices are confusing"
" Confusing? They're the only choices you ever had"
I bit my bottom lip before continuing
" I want to help Hunter, it's the right thing to do"
" Then help him"
" How? He wouldn't even let us breathe the same air"
" Then keep trying. I've known Hunter from when he was a kid and what I've learned is when he needs help he'll never admit it or allow himself to be assisted. Keep trying and he'll pop"
That's the problem.
" I don't want to keep trying"
She sighed at the other end and I heard shuffling.
" Iris, please listen to me. Like I said, I've known Hunter for a very long time and he's almost like a son to me. Hunter is not a bad kid, at least in the way I saw him. But the moment you told me all the things he did to you it took me a while to believe it was possible. Everyone knew he had a thing for ladies but we could swear on one thing, that Hunter would never hit a girl. Heck, back in their school day, Hunter beat up guys for talking trash to his sister that's why they put them both in separate schools. So when I heard he hit you and even raped you I was shocked and I felt something was wrong but this drugs issue explains it all"
" Mrs Phoebe he caused me pain" I whimper.
" I know Iris, but I also know you're big enough to understand that this choice you're about to make will have a grave effect on everything"
" I doubt so"
" Doubt everything, but you may never forgive yourself for indirectly murdering Louisa's biological father whom she always wanted to know."
" He doesn't want me to help"
" He will never ask you for your help and you know it"
" Well it's his loss, he's basically losing his mind"
" Iris please help him. Hunter really isn't a bad kid and if he dies a whole lot of people will feel his loss"
" He's too freaking stubborn!"
" Then put your own stubbornness on array. If he pushes you bounce back. Make him see that you're willing to help him live just because you want to be with Mason with a clear conscience. He'll understand it's a mutual understanding between you both and get through with his plans fast so you can be with who you really like"
" Do you think it will work?"
" It should under one condition"
" Which is?"
" Don't do it out of pity. Pity will only make him feel like a dead man and he'll end up pushing you to be with Mason and risk his own life. Do it cause you want to show him that you are bigger than revenge. Do it cause you want to show him that he didn't break you in the past, that you're strong enough to work with him for your own good"
And I smiled.
" Thanks Mrs Phoebe"
" No worries love. Goodnight"
" Goodnight"
And then, I went to bed like a baby.
A√N.
So this is the first time I'm writing an author's note in this novel at the end of the chapter but I really want to say something.
Sometimes, we do things out of pity and it's very wrong.
We love out of pity
Help out of pity
Give out of pity
And even befriend people out of pity.
THIS IS VERY WRONG!
You shouldn't do things because you pity people, you'll only make them feel worse than they already are.
Don't love someone out of pity. The person is professing an undying love for you and you feel nothing but because you don't want to break the person's heart you pretend to like the person.
It's not right!
Loving someone out of pity will only make you see the person as inferior and weak.
Learn to do things without pity.
I think this is my Christmas message to everyone..
Merry Christmas to you all... I love you ❄️☃️❤️
I was really feeling sleepy while I wrote this chapter, but I had to update today. I apologise if it seems shabby and I promise to edit and make amends tomorrow.
It's 12:47am over here right now, what about where you are?
Thanks for reading..
Love,
Rose 🖤💖💝
Poem above written by me three years ago 🤶🖤