Sleep didn't come easily, then again it never does lately. I was up and dressed long before my alarm went off. Maddie had text me last night to let me know she wouldn't be going in until later today. So I was driving solo today.
After checking the time for the 6th time in two minutes, I decided to head out. Class didn't start for another hour and a half but I wanted to check out the schools library. I left my apartment, making sure the door was locked behind me.
Once in the parking lot, I started my car and made my way to school. The parking lot only had a few cars in it when I arrived, probably just teachers and janitorial staff. The library wasn't hard to find, it was one of the biggest out buildings on school grounds.
I was beyond impressed with the inside of the library, it was absolutely massive. There were 3 floors and the books seemed to go on forever. I was just aimlessly wandering around the library when I noticed Mr. Gardner sitting in the lounge area off to the side. He looked up at me and waved. I smiled and went over to join him.
" Good morning Alex, how are you? I'm surprised to see you here so early." He said with a bright smile.
I smiled back, taking a seat on the couch across from him. " I'm fine, I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep. I wanted to check out the library before class."
He nodded, lowering his eyes to my hands. I always fidgeted with my fingers when I was nervous, I guess he noticed. It was a bad habit I developed due to anxiety.
" Are you nervous?" He asked matter-of-factly.
I quickly put my hands down roughly on my lap and shook my head rapidly. He chuckled, closing his book. I raised an eyebrow at him as he stood up. He walked around the table in the center of the lounge area and sat next to me. He took one of my hands in his and stroked my fingers with his thumb. It felt like an electric shock just pulsed through my whole body. I looked up at him and my heart began to race.
" You're damaging the skin around your finger nails Alex." He said quietly, running his thumb over my fingers again. " You need to find another coping method for your anxiety."
I shivered and pulled away instinctively. Is he.. flirting with me? Mr. Gardner chuckled and got up, moving back to his seat.
" I have a bachelor's degree in Psychology as well as a Master's degree in English. I'm trained to recognize these types of signs Alex." He said calmly.
My eyes went wide. Shit, he could probably tell just from looking at me yesterday something was wrong with me. A slow nod was all I could muster. Every word in my vocabulary seemed to have abandoned me.
I took a deep breath and tried to steady myself. " Is that why you emailed me last night?" He nodded, causing me to sigh in relief.
" You sound relieved." He laughed, " Did you misunderstand what I'd written in some sense?"
I started to blush, " N-No. Not exactly, I mean.. not on purpose anyway. I'm sorry."
" There's no need to be ashamed Alex. I'll admit the last line of my email did strike me as a little too forward when I read it over again. I apologize for that." He said sincerely.
I could feel my whole body temperature rising. He was so modest, which made him even more attractive. I stood up and threw my backpack over my shoulder.
" It's fine really, no harm done. I have to go, I'll see you later Mr. Gardner." I smiled before quickly spinning on my heal to leave.
I turned back to look at him and saw him wave. I quickly threw open the door and ran away from the library. Once I was back to my car I hopped in and slammed my door shut, locking it. I took out my phone and pulled up my contacts. Once I found who I was looking for I hit dial. I tapped my foot in agony as I listened to ring after ring. I was about to hang up when someone finally answered.
" Dr. Hadley's office, how may I help you?" The receptionist spoke politely.
" Can you transfer me to Dr. Hadley, please. It's Alexandra Mills." I said as calmly as I could.
" One moment please "
I rolled my eyes as the typical elevator music started to play through the phone. Whoever thought this music was soothing was clearly out of their mind. Thankfully I wasn't waiting long before she answered.
" Alex? What's wrong?" Dr. Hadley said in a worried tone.
I completely broke down crying. I told her how I was seeing Derek everywhere again, my lack of sleeping and my feelings towards my new professor. I must have been babbling for a least a 15 minutes before she finally managed to get a word in.
" Alex, listen. Everything is going to be fine. You've been through a traumatic experience, you won't forget about it over night. You're making great progress. It's normal to be attracted to someone you find handsome, even if it is your teacher. I know you may feel terrified of these feelings because of what happened, but you can't let that keep you from going to school or talking to your teacher. If he does have a bachelor's degree in psychology talk to him. He might be a great help to you while you're there." She reassured me.
I nodded, realized she couldn't see me I answered her. " O-OK. Thanks Dr. Hadley."
" Alex, everything will be fine. Take care of yourself " with that she hung up.
I relaxed back into my seat and let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I just need to make it through this week, then I could relax for the weekend.
~*~
"So, has everyone got a quote in mind?" Mr. Gardner asked, turning his attention to the class.
There were a few mutters of "yes" and the occasional nod. Mr. Gardner scanned the room before pointing to a guy in the back.
" You in the back with the blue hoodie. What quote did you pick?" He asked, waiting patiently.
" I'm Adrian." He stated quietly. " Um, my favorite quote is, 'Happiness can be found even in the darkest or times, if one only remembers to turn on the light'." A few girls smiled widely, obviously recognizing the quote.
Mr. Gardner chuckled, " Albus Dumbledore was a wise man. Though he is fictitious, still a solid piece of advice. What do you think the quote means?"
Adrian scratched his head, "I think it means no matter how bad things seem you can find happiness is you look for it. Basically bring light to your darkness."
Mr. Gardner nodded, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Anyone else?" He looked around the room, no one was volunteering. " Alex? What quote did you pick?"
I cleared my throat, "This above all, to thine own self be true."
"Ah, Hamlet. An excellent example of great literature. What do you think it means?" He asked.
" Be true to yourself, no matter what." I stated, fidgeting with my fingers again. I stopped when Mr. Gardner raised an eyebrow at me.
He smiled and nodded. Moving on to the next person. When the last person finished telling him their quote, he assigned us to write an essay about our favorite quotes origin. There were a lot of groans in response but I was happy for the distraction it provided.
" Um, Mr. Gardner?" A blonde girl in the back row called out, her hand raised above her head.
Mr. Gardner sighed, " Yes Tracey?"
" What's your favorite quote?" She said with a devilish grin, biting the end of her pencil.
Mr. Gardner huffed, "An apple is an excellent thing, until you have tried a peach."
My whole body froze. Images of last summer flew through my mind. Knocking over the peach stand in the grocery store, Derek offering to help me. Introducing the nickname "peaches" for the first time. I could feel my heart rate picking up. I swear everyone in the room could hear it, my eyes shot around frantically. No one was looking at me, but Mr. Gardner was. He was just opening his mouth to speak when the bell rang, signaling the end of class. I took this opportunity to throw everything in my bag and bolt for the door. Mr. Gardner was still talking to the class when I left.
I managed to make it outside to the courtyard without anyone stopping me. I took a few deep breaths and sat down on the edge of the fountain. I let my fingers gently graze the top of the water. Making small, smooth waves ripple around them.
" Alex?"
I jumped, splashing the water over my arm. I turned and saw one of the guys from my class.
"Adrian? Sorry, you startled me." I chuckled nervously.
"Oh, sorry. Um, I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee after school?" Adrian scuffed his feet on the ground, looking around nervously.
I smiled. "Sure." Normally I'd say no, but my therapist told me to not let my feelings hold me back. Maybe this would help keep my mind off my teacher too.
"Awesome! See you after school Alex!" Adrian chirped, smiling as he waved me goodbye.
I looked back towards the English building to see Mr. Gardner standing by the entrance. His arms were crossed and he had an annoyed expression on his face. I cursed under my breath, he was staring at me. He was obviously mad I'd ran out of class as soon as the bell rang. I got up, dusted my jeans off and walked towards him. Mr. Gardner turned and went back inside the English building. Oh great, I was definitely about to get an earful.
I knocked on the door lightly before entering the classroom.
" Close the door." He demanded coldly.
I did as he asked and slowly made my way to the front of his desk. I bit my bottom lip, waiting for him to yell at me. When he didn't speak I cleared my throat.
" I'm sorry I ran out when the bell rang, I wa-"
" Well, what did he want?" He scoffed.
I raised an eyebrow at him, confused was an understatement. " W-What?"
"Don't play dumb." He snapped. "I know Adrian was talking to you by the fountain. What did he want?"
"I'm sorry, how is that your business?" I asked, annoyed.
Mr. Gardner stood up and slammed his hands down on the desk. I flinched, taking a step back.
"It's my business when it involves the welfare of one of my students, Alexandra." He snarled.
I shivered at the use of my full name. He never let me get another word in before speaking again.
"Stay away from Adrian. He's not a good person Alex." Mr. Gardner warned.
"I'm not going to stand here and have you threaten me" I snapped, turning on my heel to leave. Mr. Gardner's hand went around my wrist, holding me in place.
He sighed, "I'm not threatening you Alex, I'm trying to protect you."
I pulled my arm out of his grip, "I don't need this. I can take care of myself."
I stormed out of the classroom. I didn't spare him so much as a glance when I left. Who did he think he was? Telling me who I could and couldn't spend time with. The nerve of that man!
I made my way to my next class, still cursing at Mr. Gardner under my breath. I wasn't about to let him push me around. I was a grown woman, I can do what I want.
~*~
Once my final class was over, I made my way to the cafe near the school. I didn't bother taking my car, it was only a short walk away.
Adrian waved me over to a table in the corner of the shop. I smiled as I walked over to join him.
"I didn't know how you take your coffee, so I just got you black. There's cream and sugar over there." He stated, pointing to a table off to the side.
I smiled, " Thanks. So, what's up?"
Adrian blushed, " I, ah.. I just wanted to get to know you better."
" Okay. What do you want to know?" I tried to mask the nervousness in my voice. I didn't like talking about myself, especially when people tried to dig into my past.
Thankfully our chat remained casual. We talked about our hobbies, and school work mostly. It was nice to have a relaxing conversation for once.
" So what are you doing this weekend?" Adrian asked, holding the door for me.
" Maddie and I were going to go to that dance club in town. How about you?" I asked as we walked back to the school. It was starting to get dark by now.
" A few of my friends were planning on going there too. Maybe I'll tag along and we can hang out there." He said with a hopeful smile.
I chuckled, " Yeah, sounds fun."
" Well, this is me." Adrian stated, stopping by a red Ford Focus. " I'll see you tomorrow Alex."
" Later Adrian." I waved, then made my way to my own car.
The parking lot was deserted. Only my car remained once Adrian drove off. I sighed in relief, at least I wouldn't have to face Mr. Gardner again until tomorrow. What in the hell was up with that obsessive behavior? I shivered involuntarily at the thought and climbed into my car. I'm sure there was a reason for it, there was a logical explanation for everything. Right?
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