A/N: Happy Holidays!
Lisa
"I swear if you're going to drop me," I muttered under my breath as Jisoo and Chaeng struggles to push me up.
Jisoo glares, "This would be so easy if you're going to abandon your bag."
"What if I'll stay overnight?" I countered.
"It's a rich person's house Lisa. Everything you need is there," Jisoo flailed almost dropping me.
"Shit, but what about food?" I ask her below, my hand patting the backpack full of food.
"Can't we just call her and go inside through the front door like a normal person?" Chaeng groans.
Whipping our heads to look at her, Jisoo and I spat the same incredulous reply, "But that's not fun."
We argued some more, my legs shaking while I reach for the foothold on the wall.
"Almost there," I lick my lips.
Inching little by little, tiptoeing I finally had a hold on the ridge as I pull myself up with the little military training I had from a survival show. Cold sweat trailing down my jaw, as I swallow in anticipation of injuring myself.
"Jesus christ Lisa what took you so long," Jisoo raised both hands in victory.
Chaeng slaps her arm, "Don't use the name of the Lord in vain."
Chuckling secretly, I jest at Jisoo who pouted.
"What? I wasn't! I was using my name, Jisoos cries Lisa," she acts it out in defense, almost wailing out my name if it weren't for Chaeng stopping her before she could.
"You look stupid," I tease.
She snarls, "Go to your girlfriend."
Sticking my tongue out, I toss the two some snacks I bought for them knowing that they'll be guarding my backs tonight. I felt like I was back playing Prince of Persia with Bambam while I climbed the wall, finding cracks to rest my hands and feet on.
It took me minutes but thankfully I completed the death defying act.
Ears perking up to a resounding clap below me, knowing it was probably Jisoo. Cringing, I pray that no one wakes up to see what we were doing.
We could go to jail for trespassing and be the biggest news tomorrow in Korea.
Or not.
I'm staking our lives in the latter.
Last ounce of strength, I knock on the glass window of her room. Biting my lower lip, as I wait anxiously for her.
It had been 3 days since we last talked.
I'm finding a way to make peace with her knowing how much Jennie wears her pride like a golden robe. Deep inside, I know this won't end if we keep putting our prides in between us.
So I'm lowering it.
Even though I was somewhat tired, even though I have an empty box of confidence left in me to salvage -- I needed her, like breathing oxygen.
I was so used to her presence, that losing her scared me.
There was no answer so I knock again, this time louder. Few seconds after, there was movement inside, the curtains were drawn and Jennie showed herself, jumping in fright at the sight of me.
"Oh my gosh Lisa," she scrambles to open the window, forgetting that we were both in a cold war.
Grinning stupidly, "Hi."
She furrows her brows, then glances downward to see Jisoo and Chaeng waving at her.
"Why didn't you use the door?" She helps me up, a small tired smile painted her lips.
Shrugging, "It's not fun."
She turns on the lights, while I watch her; missing every little thing about her.
"That's good because Dad is here," she drops the bomb on me and I wanted to just go back and climb down knowing that the monster was inside the house.
She notices my anxiety. Sighing, she steps toward me and there was that single flicker of me that expected her to just slap me.
But she didn't, instead she caress my cheek.
"I'm sorry Lisa, I've done you wrong all this time. I don't know how to make up for it," I felt her hand trembling, she pulls away and hides it.
I lean on the wall, scrutinizing my woman who was now thinner, restless and unhappy.
The gleam was there but clouded.
Had I done this?
It made me feel awful because I made her into a person who was just like me.
Like there was something missing.
"It's okay, we'll make this work," I gave her an encouraging smile as I rub circles on her arm, letting her feel at ease.
This is all I ever wanted, just to see her.
I don't need anything else in this world.
"I have to apologize for my words before, I didn't know what got to me," guilty for hinting she was a slut. Of all people to tell her that, the poison came from my own mouth.
Her forehead rests on my chest, my heartbeat fastens at the intimacy.
"Dony and I were never a thing, Lisa. I was just using him," she raises her head to meet my eyes.
Those brown orbs held me like a lifeline. Pools that drowned me into a never ending chase.
"My eyes were only on you. It was just easy to fool my parents if Dony was around," she reasoned out but I didn't care anymore.
I was simply enthralled.
So I nodded.
But the next thing that came out of her mouth slapped me from my dilemma.
"I hope you can understand that the only way we can keep our relationship is that we have to keep it a secret," she fidgets the last part afraid to be scolded, "for now."
Oh.
"So does that mean you have to act like you're still with Dony?" My jaws tightened, unhappy with our circumstance.
Why can't her own father just accept it?
Why can't she be brave?
"Yes," she coughs out.
I try my best to not let it show but I didn't like it. Heck, I hated it.
"Lisa?" She cautiously calls.
Scrunching my nose, "The dude likes you Jen."
"I won't let him touch me any more than just to hold my hand," she persuades.
"D-did he kiss you?" I was afraid she'd say yes.
"No, I never let him. It was always on the cheek," she examines my little reactions.
Shifting my balance from one foot to the other. I tilt my head, the thoughts battling it all out.
What else can I do?
If I don't accept this we'll only fight again and I don't want that.
She caressed the back of my hands, urging me to reply.
I guess I just have to bear it.
For now.
"Nini, don't let your heart sway for anyone else."
She flashes me her gummy smile that could melt an entire south pole.
"I love you," her eyes watered, "You mean a lot to me and you need to know that."
Hugging her tightly, her familiar vanilla shampoo hit my senses like a wave of relief.
How could I stay mad?
There was never any shortcut or an easy road in a relationship.
And I get that.
People get tired, frustrated, jealous, fight, etc. But if you just hold on, fix it.
Perhaps the light will shine on the dark road eventually.
"By the way what are you carrying?" She giggles, pointing at my bag.
"Oh this?" Wiggling then propping it on her bed.
"Well your girlfriend knew you were going to starve yourself to death," grinning from ear to ear.
"Did she know?" She held a coy smile, sitting down and crossing her legs.
I pluck out from my bag a gimbap, mandu, green tea, roasted pork belly, black bean noodles and kimchi.
She stops herself from laughing, "That's too much for the both of us Lisa."
Smirking, "I would love to eat with you but your parents might wake up soon so," placing my hand on her shoulder then saluting.
"You have to finish it all by yourself."
Mouth agape, she surveys the food then to me. Hissing with disbelief, "Eat all of this?"
Bobbing my head, I ruffle her clothes.
She always hated when I do it, I know a swat was coming so I instantly dodge it.
"I'll be puffy tomorrow," she pouts.
"Then don't sleep," I shrug.
"But-"
"Call me, we won't sleep tonight," kneeling in front of her, letting my thumb trace her lips.
She shivers at the cold touch nonetheless my lips replace my thumb and I held it for a second before moving.
Jennie follows, missing my lips on hers. It was a sweet and long kiss, nothing filled with lust.
Just pure longing for the other person's presence.
We break off after cutting our own breaths short. Jennie's smiles were my own customized ecstasy. She shies away from my stare, "Stop it Lisa."
"What?" I laugh, grabbing her hands and removing it from covering her pretty face.
"Stop looking at me like that," flushing as she gazes at me.
"I can't help it."
"You're beautiful," she breathes out, "My Lisa."
We were like teenagers in a sleepover, exchanging secrets in hushed tones.
Lovers hiding from the world.
"Should we fight all the time so you'd be that sweet to me?" I joke.
She shoves me playfully, bantering as if we didn't have care in the world.
"Lisaaayaaaa~" a soft bird-like call echoed into the night.
Sighing at the same time.
"That was my cousin isn't it?" she asks, well more of stated.
Nodding, I made an effort to get up and jump out of the window, careful not to slip from the footholds.
Jennie pops her head out, the wind blowing west. She ties her hair into a messy bun and leans on the window.
"Be careful."
"Come home tomorrow Nini, I've missed you," kissing her one last time before I slid out and ran into the night with Jisoo and Chaeng.
----------
She did return home after that day. It was like starting a new leaf for us, well maybe because everything was out of the way.
Except for Dony, however, she pushes all the deadlines to meet him.
Spending it between the four of us -- mostly me.
Jisoo and Chaeng seemed to have their own worlds now and I bet they were sailing a cruise ship almost as large as ours.
It was like journeying back to the past were no one knew what there was between us. Jennie and I in closed walls, no cameras and no one to judge us.
"Lisaaaa," she hummed, dangling her feet on the edge of the bed.
"Jennieee," I mirrored back.
"Oh god we sound like fools," she rolls towards me, naturally snaking my arm on her shoulder, she side hugs in return.
"I want to travel the world," I said without thinking much.
"Camera in hand," she pauses after staring at me, "with you beside me."
Smooth talker.
We were silent, enjoying each other's company. It was so serene, maybe others would feel like there isn't much to be happy about with just lazying around.
But when you get to have that silent war with your girlfriend for months, I think it's understandable to find happiness in the smallest things like this.
To be satisfied without greed.
"Lili," she sits up, earning my attention.
"What is it?" I prop myself up using my elbows.
"You deserve to know."
Okay what do I have to know?
"My relationship with my own family," she answers my mental question.
Oh.
I really don't need to know since Jisoo told me before.
"Sure," I grin, intently looking at her eyes to make her feel that my attention was never divided.
Grateful, she palms my cheek.
"We're rich," she brags.
Rolling my eyes, "That was so not obvious."
Way to start an emotional story, Jennie Kim.
She giggles at my thick sarcastic remark, "Seriously, we're rich. Typically the Kims are born rich, but my family is richer than Jisoo's family, that's because other than we're the main branch; my parents are also heavily invested in their work."
"Hold up. How many times have you mentioned rich in your story-telling? Four, Jennie."
"Focus," she laughs at my light-hearted mood.
"Okay okay," my accent giving away my foreign blood.
"So you could connect the dots that when your parents are always busy, their child is left alone. You could drop me into that category, all my life I was left in the mansion with maids who were probably replaced every year so there was no attachment to them."
This was hard for her so I let my hand ran on her arm. Gesturing to her that I was still here.
She kept going, her eyes swallowing the blanket whole.
"Because I was born with a golden spoon, I had to meet their expectations; I had to be feminine at all times, good at academics, fluent with English, active in sports, etc."
"How did you pursue your dream?" I softly probe.
Smiling at my question, she averts her gaze on me, "I held interest in music for along time when I was a kid, and for the first time in years my parents took heed and sent me a music teacher."
Her dreams still stemmed in the recognition of her parents.
It was heartbreaking to hear about my girlfriend grow up to such an environment. I couldn't blame her for harboring this habits in socializing when she was never taught and guided by her family.
If things weren't like that before, would I have met a brighter Jennie?
Her expressions darken and I am met by the story Jisoo unnie had told me. How Jennie became a laughingstock at their own family because she wanted to pursue something so unstable. How she got shunned, tried to run away but was punished for it with a slap.
And how she had had enough.
My girl broke rules to pursue everything she had always wanted.
It was amazing hearing it from Jisoo unnie, but breathtaking to hear it from the person itself.
Jennie gets what she wants.
One way or another.
Groaning, "You couldn't just make it harder for me to love you more?"
She laughs, resting her face on my shoulder.
"Are you okay now? Does it feel lighter that you talked about it?"
She nods, forming a smile on her lips like no other.
"I should've done this before."
"You should've," I gave her a peck on the tip of her nose.
Moving on from the topic, we chatted about nothing particular. We stopped when we heard a knock from the door, Chaeng intervening our moment.
"Miyeon and Sorn's here."
Exchanging puzzled looks, we went out to see them for ourselves.
I haven't heard from Miyeon after she had received a call from Jennie. Heaven knows how she managed to survive being bit off by Jennie.
Nudging Jennie as we made our way, "You should apologize to Miyeon."
"Wha- wait why?" Distaste in her voice.
"Did you forget that you bitched her out days ago?" She crosses her arms, scoffing, "In my defense, that was not bitching. I was asking her."
"With what tone?" I battled.
She thinks of something to say but found none. "Fine," she mumbles, stomping to the living room.
I smirk at how I just won from her.
"How did you do that?" Chaeng asked, wide-eyed.
"I'm Lisa Manoban, what can I not do?"
"A lot of things. Do you want me to list them?"
"Fuck," I breathed out.
Chaeng giggles yet finding a way to scold me with such an unconvincing expression, "Mouth Lisa."
"What about it?" I teased.
She flails her hands, "Why do you all like cursing?"
"It's not like you don't curse when you sing, chipmunk."
Puffing her cheeks, "It's part of the song!"
"And still cussing," I swiftly ran away before she could kill me, slowing down to match Jennie's pace. Our eyes lay on the two guests, Jisoo entertaining them with her old man jokes.
They stand up at the sight of us, pushing each other to be the first to say anything.
"Hi guys," I wave at them while the other hand held Jennie's waist, nearing our distances.
Jisoo stands up, "We'll give you space to duke it out," she exits together with Chaeng. The two oddly jolly to be away from us.
I should really ask them about their status.
"So why are you here?" Jennie interrogated haughtily.
I should've told her to behave.
Glaring at her, she sighs.
"Hey Miyeon, I'm sorry about last time."
They were stupefied. A Jennie Kim apologizing was not an everyday occurrence.
"U-uh yeah, it was okay," Miyeon stammered, squinting at Jennie; scrutinizing if Jennie was okay. Chuckling, "She's fine Miyeon."
Jennie rolled her eyes, resting her head on my shoulder.
It was so good to boast like this in front of my friends. It was understandable they were startled and even ogled at our intimacy.
"So?" Jennie prodded, remembering that Miyeon and Sorn had a purpose in coming all the way here.
"Oh uhm we're," Sorn elbows Miyeon to continue, the latter being forced to spit it all out.
"We're sorry for the trouble we've caused. It was Sorn's plan to make Jennie unnie jealous, I was just playing along."
Wait what?
"See? I told you there was something fishy," Jennie crossed her arms stubbornly.
"Sorn?" I assess my friend who was looking elsewhere, avoiding my contact.
"Was this what you told Bambam and Ten inside the car?"
"Maybe?" she vaguely answers, afraid of me. Well mostly Jennie, she's the scary one between the two of us.
Exhaling, I scratch my nape and glanced at Miyeon.
"Don't tell me you did all that just to--"
She cuts me off and shakes her head, "No of course not, I was also glad we got to spend time together like back in our trainee days. Believe me when I say I really don't harbor feelings for you now."
"Oh I do believe that, you reek of heterosexuality."
"I don't think so," Jennie and Sorn argues.
Raising my brow at them, Sorn started off, "I wouldn't have picked Miyeon if it weren't for her past bonds with you."
"They were friends, just really close ones that is," Jennie snarls at me.
It wasn't my fault she hated me before so I couldn't go near her!
"Well I did have a small crush on her before so I can't blame you," Miyeon supports them.
"Is there seriously no one in this world that doesn't have a crush on me?!" I cry out.
"Me," Sorn raises her hand.
"Dalgom," Jennie shared.
Very funny.
They laugh at my contorted face, dropping their bad feelings for each other. Although something tells me they were still holding on to bad first impressions.
To be honest, if they didn't come in and cause this whole thing maybe Jennie and I would still have that partition of unspoken words.
The day ended well for all of us.
It feels new not to have that internal conflict or searing pain in the heart.
Odd.
Yet a good thing, expectantly this would stay the same in the long run.
Third Person
"Baby!" Jisoo cooed at Lisa, rubbing her cheeks on the younger girl. The two were hugging each other, playing around.
Usually Jisoo isn't this touchy.
However the younger girl just bet a box of chicken if Jisoo could withstand putting a cute font for Lisa.
Underneath the endearment, Jisoo shuddered, her soul crawling out from her body.
Chaeyoung and Jennie though had other things in mind. Their eyes on the two girls happily 'flirting' with each other.
Jennie clenched her jaw. What is Jisoo thinking? That's my call sign with Lisa, she thought out.
She stabbed Lisa with her glares but the latter didn't seem fazed at all, since she had her back on her girlfriend. Chaeyoung on the other hand, had her head tilted, just waiting for her Jisoo to stop this eyesore of a movie.
Well they were not yet girlfriends, but they were indeed dating. The news still not reaching the other two, but they'll drop it later on.
Finally, Jisoo and Lisa stopped as if they felt the awkwardness of the air around them, looking around. The two swallowed in unison at the sight of their lovers.
Jennie faked her smile, "You guys seem to be happy?"
Chaeyoung had a dead expression on her, "Don't stop. Continue what both of you were doing," she said with crossed arms.
Jisoo quickly pushed Lisa away, Lisa falling back on the couch with a thump.
Trying to give Chaeyoung all the attention she needed. The Australian surprisingly didn't look as if she was pleased, instead she shrugs and leave to go to her room.
Jisoo's mouth hang open and so did Lisa. Without further ado, Jisoo chased her soon-to-be-girlfriend praying for Jisoos to have mercy on her and may Chaeyoung spare her.
Lisa on the other hand wanted Jisoo to stay inside the living room, she knew it was't possible. Jisoo had pressing matters, and Lisa was just about to thank God for the wonderful time she spent being alive for all these years.
Jennie will have her head off.
Jennie continued to smile at Lisa, "You seem to like being called 'Baby' by a lot of people, huh?"
Lisa profusely shook her head, "Ani! Ani! I love hearing it from you the most!" She was sweating like crazy, her nerves getting the best of her.
Jennie pouted, bobbing her head in thoughtfulness, "Huh, yet you let others call you 'Baby' when it should be our call sign. Mine must not be that special enough."
"No!" Lisa waved her hands, she was about to run to her girlfriend but Jisoo comes back with a dead expression, grabbing Lisa by the collar.
"She ignored me."
"Chaeng?" Lisa looked at the midget.
"What's with you and Chaeng anyway? It's not like it's the end of the world," Lisa jokes. Jennie glares at her girlfriend to shut up as the former walk to her cousin.
"She ignored you before, what's the difference now?"
Jisoo turns her un-oiled head to Jennie, "We're dating."
"Fuck, really?" Jennie and Lisa said in unison.
Jisoo nods with no life.
"I knew it," Lisa snaps her fingers.
"This is a restricted homosexual dormitory everyone!" she was excited to ask more about the new couple yet her phone blares.
Why does it that every time I'm onto something, someone calls me? Lisa smacks her head, excusing herself from the cousins who were now squealing, Jennie most especially as she squeezed out the details.
Lisa
"Hello?" I greeted the unknown caller cautiously. Since it might be another one of those people who had tracked my number.
"Lalisa Manoban," a gruff voice greeted back.
Stomach churning, knowing who it was.
"Mr. Kim?"
He chuckles, "No need to be so stiff with me, Manoban. My daughter hasn't been coming home, you know what happened?"
He clearly knew why Jennie wasn't going to the mansion.
It's because she's been coming home to me.
Sighing, "She's with us, Sir."
His demeanor suddenly changed, "Didn't I tell you to not get carried away? I'm warning you Manoban."
Shaking my head, "Sir I--"
He ends the call, confusing me more.
Wow, well okay.
Not letting other people finish their words must be some kind of a Kim tradition.
Running my fingers through my hair in stress. I received another one from also another number.
"Give me a break," I whined, placing my phone near my ear.
"Hello?" I uttered apathetically.
"What's with the long face, Pranpriya?" a gay voice I haven't heard in a long time sang melody in my ears.
Instantly smiling, "Camillo!"
He laughs, "I called you because I couldn't contact your mother yet something tells me I was in the bad time to call you, am I right Pranpriya?"
Camillo was a gay I met before when I came to visit in Thailand. Our visit in his mansion was brief, but he struck a good impression on me.
His words are one of my lifelines that kept me going these days. I realize words can give life to people however, it could also bring destruction to another.
Words are power individuals carry in their mouths.
And Camillo, carried his with goodness.
"Yes," I crouched on the floor, hugging my knees.
"Do you still remember what I said to you before?"
I rack my brain for any event in particular and it wasn't difficult to recall it.
"If I persevere I might find happiness?"
"Correct!" He claps in the other end of the line, exaggerating his glee.
Camillo's happiness was contagious, it wasn't long before I finally got in sync with him and caught up about life.
It was easier to talk to someone who left no judgments as he listens to me, fully understanding my story. He would lighten my mood every time through remarks and suggestions.
Like a big gay brother I never had.
Jennie comes into view, "Camillo I have to let you talk with Jen--"
Halting as I see her scowl plastered on her baby face. She was already dressed and dolled up, stomping to the door.
We didn't have any schedule for today, where on earth is she going?
She meets my gaze and the guilt flashes.
There, I realized what she was up to.
"Dad called me, he said he wants to meet me with Dony. The guy's already waiting for me outside," she explains.
Displeased, I let it slide. "We're in this together, don't worry," a huge smile on my face, "Call me if you're done."
She nods, finding strength in me.
Leaving me with a kiss and hug, I step aside for her to leave.
"Pranpriya?" Camillo hollered.
"Sorry Camillo, maybe next time."
Watching her outside the window as she came out of the building with her hand hooked to another man's arm.