SHANELLE's POV~
It's been a month since I haven't seen Trav. I really miss him so much. This is the very first time I haven't talk to him for a long period of time. I miss him so much.
I know he always went to our house but I always asked our guard and maids to tell him I'm not home.
I always about to go to him when he arrived in our home but I have to hold myself not to see and talk to him.
It's against my will but this is the only way I could protect him. He's like a younger brother to me and I don't want him to get hurt, especially because of me.
Rico got so jealous to him ever since he saw my photo albums since when I was young. Trav is always there in those pictures and we look so happy when we're together.
He got so jealous because Trav is always there in all important moments of my life. I have told him that Trav is just like a brother to me and nothing more, but still he couldn't believe. He said, he can really feel that Trav likes me more than just a friend or a sister. I tried to convince him that its not yet he insisted.
I don't know how to tell Trav that don't get close to me anymore since I know he loves me more than I thought.
Rico threatened me that if he sees Trav and I together even if we're just doing a friendly talk, he will breakup with me or worse, he will do bad things to Trav. And I don't want that thing to happen.
I love Rico even if he's possessive, rude and arrogant. I know he's not a boyfriend material but I find myself in love with him because we have the same passion and senses.
I am the head Chef in my own Italian Restaurant. He became my business partner because he has his own restaurants too.
He seems really nice and gentle to me, but he is possessive and easily get jealous that even to my staff in my restaurant, he doesn't want me to talk or get along with.
Yes, it's childish and selfish but I really don't know why I love him this much that even Trav doesn't want me to talk with.
I don't want him to get mad nor get jealous in anyone. I love him deeply that even the closest person I know, I am willing to let go.
I never reply or answer Trav's call. He always texted me and reminds me that he's always there for me no matter what. I do really appreciate him on that but at the same time got hurt me because even if I want to, I still can't do. He don't deserve this.
I feel sorry for him because I guess he is paranoid thinking about me. It's not that I like the way he is always around me and became martyr to me but he is the only person I could trust with.
And so much love of him, I can't stand seeing him looks miserable because I chose Rico over him.
When we were younger, I fell in love with him before but I am also afraid that when we get together as a couple and got into a fight, I might lose him forever.
Even the whole world turn their backs to me, but Travis is always there, I couldn't ask for more.
I'm afraid that I might lose him so I'm stuck to the point that we should be just best friends until the end.
I know it's rude and stupid reason but I know this is the only way I could stay with him.
There's always a part of me that I love him and always be.
On the other hand, the second reason why I'm avoiding any contacts on Trav, is that I want him to move on. I can't stand seeing him still so in love with me while I am with somebody else.
I always push him to meet other girls yet he never does. I guess, he really insist it.
I want him to take care now himself. I don't want him to stuck with me forever and doesn't live his own life.
I hope he understand me regarding this. This is all for his sake too.
I hope he may find someone who will love him more than I could do. I know he doesn't deserve me nor my treatment to him and I always blame myself for that.
I always pray that he is in the good hand and find a girl who can he love more than his life and so its her to him.
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TRAVIS's POV~
I stopped calling Shanelle since I have realized what Dylan and Bricks' said to me.
I want to confirm from her if its true but I couldn't.
It hurts me so bad that everyday I haven't talk or see her, I felt some bones are about to break apart from my body until it kills me.
How can I move on if still her all I want? I want her so bad.
I still love her but they are right, how she will realize my importance if I'm always by her side?
I want to move on, its not that I don't want Shanelle anymore but I guess this is the most right thing to do.
I couldn't believe that I would say this to myself but I wanna try to live my life without her.
Nasa bar kami ngayon nila Dylan at Bricks.
As usual, nagiinom na naman kami at sila ay nambababae.
"Yayaman ako sayo niyan pare eh. Wagas ka palagi makapag-order ng alak ah."- Si Dylan habang hawak ang bote ng beer.
Kahit pa kanya ang bar na ito, sagot ko pa rin ang inumin namin. Kahit pa nag-insist siyang wag na kaming magbayad pa.
"Wag mo nalang ako pakialaman."- Sabay inom ko sa bote ng beer ko.
"Oo nga pareng Dylan, hayaan na natin ang lover-boy natin."- Sabay cheers nila ng bote ng beer ni Dylan. Mga nangaasar na naman ang mga toh.
"Mga gago. Yan na naman kayo."- walang gana kong sabi at inom ulit ng alak.
Nakaupo lang kami sa bar stool area ngayong tatlo at isang malaking himala na hindi nila ako iniiwan ngayon.
"Ano pare? Suko ka na ba kay Shanelle niyan?"- Sabi ni Bricks sakin at lingon sa kanan niya.
Pinaggigitnaan nila akong dalawa, si Bricks sa kaliwa ko at si Dylan sa kanan.
Uminom muna ako ulit bago sumagot, "Hindi ko alam pare, pero yun na nga siguro ang dapat."- Nanghihina kong sabi.
"Woah! Yeeees! Sa wakas!"- Biglang sabay na sigaw nilang dalawa sabay taas pa ng dalawang kamay nila kahit pa may hawak na beer.
Parang nanalo sa lotto ang dalawang toh. Mga ugok talaga.
Kahit pa nabigla ako sa ginawa nila, tiningnan ko nalang sila at nangiting konti.
"*smirk* Mga gago talaga kayo!"- Natatawang sabi ko pero wala pa rin akong kagana gana.
"Congrats pare! Natauhan ka rin! Whoah!"- Sigaw ulit ni Bricks at sabay tapik sa balikat ko.
"Makakapangbabae na rin tayo ng sabay sabay! Sa wakas!"- Sabay apir nila ni Dylan sa harapan ko.
"Asa pa kayong sumama ako sa katarantaduhan niyong yan noh!"- Natatawa ko ng sabi sa kanila.
Nakakagaan din ng pakiramdam na may nakakaramay kang mga siraulong kaibigan at hindi ka iniiwan. Alam kong kahit palagi nila akong inaasar, hinding hindi nila ako hinahayaang maginom magisa. Kahit pa hindi ko sila iniimbitahan.
"Oy pre"- Sabay harap ni Dylan sa akin habang nakaupo pa rin. Inikot niya upuan niya paharap sa akin.
Tiningnan naman namin siya ni Bricks.
"Since you are now officially moving on, may gusto sana akong ipakilala sayo."- Nakangiting sabi sa akin ng loko.
Tiningnan ko lang siya ng masama.
"Ayoko!"- Humarap ulit ako sa table bar.
"Bakit naman pre? Bading ka ba?"- Pangiinis na sabi ni Bricks. Bwisit. Umpisa na naman sila.
"Oo nga pre, yung totoo? Baka panakip butas mo lang yang si Shanelle ah! Yun pala.."- Dylan
"Aww pre naman!"- Sigaw nilang sabay. Binatukan ko kasi silang sabay ng magkabilang kamay ko.
Natahimik lang ako at inubos na ang laman ng bote ng beer ko.
"Paano nga mga pre kung -- kung bakla pala talaga ako?"- Seryoso kong sabi sabay kuha ng bagong bote ng beer.
Mapagtripan ko nga rin ang dalawang toh.
"Ho-hoy Ta- Travis! Umayos ka ah. Hindi maganda yan."- Mukang gulat na sigaw pa sa akin ni Dylan.
"Oo nga pre. Para kasing.. Ah basta!"- Naguguluhang sabe naman ni Bricks.
Nakakatawa na tong dalawang toh. Hindi ko akalaing ganito ko sila mauuto kaagad. Haha.
Suddenly nakalimutan ko ang lungkot sa puso ko dahil sa dalawang ugok na ito.
Pero para kasing may kulang pa. Hindi pa man talaga ako nakaka-move on pero tingin ko hindi ko pa magawang tuluyan yun dahil parang may kulang pa.
Baka kulang pa ang sa pangti-trip ko sa dalawang toh.
"Sorry mga pare ah, para kasing ngayon ko lng nare-realize na--"- Ako
"Whaaaah! Hindi! Wag po lord!- Sigaw nilang pareho na parang pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa.
"Bakit ngayon pa Trav? Bakit? Alam mo yun pre?"- Parang dismayang dismayang sabi ni Dylan. Umaarte pang naiiyak iyak at napapasubsob sa table ng bar.
"Oo nga Trav pare!- Gatong pa ni Bricks.
"Nakakakadiri ka!"- Bigla nilang sigaw parehas na parang nagiba ang mood.
Kung kanina pinagsakluban sila, ngayon parang dinilaan ng baka ang mga mukha nila kung makareaksyon.
"Hahaha. Mga unggoy talaga kayo!"- Sabay ko ulit batok sa dalawa ng magkabilang kamay ko. Buti dalawa lang bestfriends ko, kundi magagamit ko pa ang paa ko para lang mabatukan ang mga yun.
"Tama na nga yang lokohan. Hoy Travis pare. Basta wag mong kalilimutan, may gamot pa yang kabaklaan mo. Konting hilot lang yan."- Dylan
"Mambabae ka lang!"- Sabat ni Bricks.
"Cheers!"- Sabay na sigaw nila at nag-cheers sa harapan ko.
"Cheers"- Sabi ko ng malumanay at ini-toast rin ang bote ng beer ko sa kanila sa harap ko.
Naginom lang kami hanggang sa malasing yung dalawa. Syempre ako dinadaan ko sila sa pananahimik para di kaagad ako malasing. Madaldal kasi silang dalawa at kada matapos ang sasabihin nila, panay silang lagok sa alak.
Syempre hindi ako nagpapakalasing nga dahil nakaka-trauma.
Baka mamaya kapag nalasing na ko nito at may makatabi na naman sa kama ay hindi na ko makapagpigil pa.
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