I'm so sorry Yoongi
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Yoongi POV
I had taken three pills of suppressant today. I curled myself into a ball, laying on top of Taehyung's parents' bedroom floor.
It was cold, it cools down my rut. It gets even dizzier as the time passes by. I choked on my sobs once I remembered what I did earlier.
"I'm so fucking stupid!" I banged my head on the floor, didn't realize how it had bleeding until I felt the sting on the side of my forehead.
"Soomin..."
"I'm so sorry..."
I promised you I will protect your sister. I swore to my self I will protect her. Yet, here I am almost hurting her, almost ruining her.
Why am I being like this?
I should have fallen in love with my own mate. But as if I'm being cursed, I just couldn't take my eyes away from Y/N. Not even once, not even today.
When I saw her kissing Namjoon, the thing inside me snapped. I knew she never belonged to me and never will.
But I just...
I knew her the longest! I met her first! I love her first... I thought... if I could fall in love with someone that wasn't even my mate, so why couldn't she?
Then I realized my one great mistake.
"You know what's wrong, hyung? It's because Y/N and Namjoon love each other"
"and you're getting in their way." Taehyung said.
"I should have listened to you, shouldn't I?" Yoongi chuckled pathetically at himself.
Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! *slap
I kept hitting myself, blaming myself. If just I wasn't being selfish. If just I let her go... at least...
At least I won't lose her.
She's going to hate me forever and I will hate myself even more.
"Yoongi!" The door was slammed open, showing the sight of a familiar blonde.
"Oh my god... Yoongi.." she lifted my head, resting it on top of her lap.
"Lisa... please bring me back home..." I panted out.
She quickly nodded before signaling Bambam who stood behind her with a shocked expression attached on his face.
"Go grab some first aid kit please!" Lisa told him.
The younger quickly ran off to the bathroom to pick up the small white box, bringing it back inside the room. Bambam handed it over to his girlfriend before silently watching her treating me.
"It'll hurt." Lisa muttered as she took out the cotton ball from the box and poured some alcohol on it.
She carefully patted my busted lips as well as other places that were injured.
"You used your power, didn't you?" I didn't have any more power to answer as I just nodded my head.
"Oh, Yoongi. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I should have just held you back like before! I should just never let you chase her!" Lisa frustratedly said.
"I-it's not your fault." My voice came out hoarse after hours of crying alone.
"It's always been my fault. I should have been faithful to my mate, to Soomin." I choked on my tears.
"But what can I do, Lisa? When my heart keeps calling for her. It's hurt when I was with her, but it hurts even more when I wasn't."
"I wish I should have died instead of Soomin. She won't even need to feel the pain of losing mate, unlike me. It was painful. The fact that-"
"Yoongi... I know you didn't feel the same way as I do." Soomin whispered softly while laying her head on top of sleeping Yoongi.
"But I love you so much and I was grateful that you are willing to be my boyfriend, even though it's not for a long time *cough."
"I won't hold you anymore. *cough *cough You can finally be with her... I know you love her and not me..."
"Really, Yoongi... For the past two years I-i spent with you like your girlfriend, I never once felt s-sad... I'm a-always h-happy... Thank you... thank you so so much." She pecked his cheek.
"So please, I will let you go. Please be happy. Please protect and love her. I trust you." Soomin slowly fluttered her eyes closed. Yoongi chest moved up and down frantically.
He wasn't sleeping.
Yoongi heard it all.
"It's not your fault, Yoongi." Lisa said, caressing his bleeding forehead.
"That's why its called falling in love. No one could control how they would fall, who they are going to fall into." Lisa sighed.
"Let's go back before your rut coming back." Lisa wrapped Yoongi's arm over her shoulder. Bambam quickly crouched down on his left, picking up his other arm. They dragged his limping body inside the car and drove back to Seoul.
"Taehyung, I left and picked up Yoongi already. I placed the key under the vase as you told me to." Lisa called him on her phone. Bambam was driving beside her.
"Yeah- Thank you-" I could hear her voice slowly fading off.
I rested my head on the window, watching the blurry road moving in slow motion while blinking my tears away.
Sorry for ruining your trust, Soomin-ah.
I guess I never meant to be happy.
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Special chapter as well as a spoiler for my spin-off short story featuring Yoongi's POV. Will be published when this book ended. 💜