Chapter 29
Draco:
Do you ever look at someone and think about why they were put on this planet?
Because I look at Isobel and think about her life's purpose all the time. Up until now I'm drawing a solid blank. Not that she should die or something, just you know, not be around me with her whiny, nasally voice, super shiny hair, nose stuck up in the air and most of all, her wondering hands.
Oh dear Merlin don't even get me started on that!
"So do you want to do something?" she asked, stroking my forearm as she looked up at me and I shook my head.
"Aren't we doing something already?" I asked, gesturing at the books laid around us and my half-filled parchment. She just rolled her eyes at me, pulling my arm around her shoulder and plastering her side to mine.
"No silly!" she giggled, "Something more interesting than the homework!" wagging her too thick for her face eyebrows suggestively.
And here I thought Ravenclaws valued wits.
"I'm sure homework won't take more than an hour today" she argued, and began rolling my parchment up.
Easy for her to say, she's the Ravenclaw.
"Isobel-"
"Don't call me that." She said sweetly, "My parents call me that."
"Isn't that your name?" I asked, snorting at her pouty expression. I guess in some other universe, or circumstance, Isobel would've been a decent person to spend time with but in the current ones she just made me want to rip my hair out. And I love my hair.
"So?" she asked, lowering her voice as she neared my ear, "What do you say?"
"I-"
"Thank you, Miss Pomfrey!" a very familiar voice interrupted our conversation and I looked across the corridor to see Carina step out of the Hospital Wing, hands full with two potion flasks as she kicked the door shut and tried to stuff the flasks inside her bag, oblivious to us staring at her.
Wait.
What's wrong?
Why is she coming out of the hospital wing?
"Carina?" I asked, distancing Isobel a little as dark eyes snapped up to me only to instantly freeze on something beside me.
Very slowly, a smile made its way to her lips, like she had to remind herself to do so.
"Malfoy?" she asked, her voice dubious as she started walking in my direction, giving me the 'What's wrong?' look that I had downpat over break because apparently my face still looked distressed.
"Are you-"
"You must be Isobel!" she cut in for me, extending a hand in the blonde's direction, "I'm Carina Had-"
"I know you." Isobel's nasally voice started, her eyes narrowing at Carina's outstretched arm, "And no thanks."
"Excuse me?" she echoed and I turned to see Isobel's pissed off face change into a sneer.
"You ruined my boyfriend's life!" Isobel loudly snarled at her, her sweet face turning uncharacteristically red, but with what anger? And how did her voice even rise that high?
Wait back up, what?
"Boyfriend?" I asked, yanking the blonde banshee to turn to me, glaring at her, "Who the fuck ever said anything about being your boyfriend?" I turned to Carina, "I'm not her boyfriend!" I clarified hastily, I don't know why it seemed so important for me to do so, but I swear I saw a nerve in Carina's chin relax at my admission.
Carina looked at me suspiciously, before she held up one finger at Isobel's face, and asked, "Are you alright?"
A tanned hand rose up almost immediately at the question but Carina side stepped just as I grabbed Isobel's hand, harshly pulling it in my direction, "What the fuck, Isobel?" Is she this violent usually?
"Get away from me-"
"Shut your stupid mouth." Carina seethed, stepping nearer to her face now that Isobel's hands were restrained in mine, her eyes flashing with anger.
On this is escalating.
"Carina-" I started, coming between the two girls, and pushing Carina back gently, away from Isobel and a possible expulsion, "we'll talk later-"
"You're going to talk to her?" a shrill voice echoed behind me to which I just tsked, but Carina smirked, slowly angling her body to look at Isobel over my shoulder.
"Do you remember last year, Malfoy?" Carina started pleasantly and my eyes narrowed at her, a minute ago she wanted to bite Isobel's head off...and now she's trying to start a conversation?
"You mean the year you put Draco into the hospital?" Isobel cut in and Carina smiled, her eyes shining like she hit the jackpot.
"Carina-"
"She was there you know?" Care added pleasantly and I felt a hand on my shoulder, pulling me back, "Standing and cheering me on as we both fought-"
"I wasn't cheering you on!" Isobel hissed in my ear, making me recoil and pull away from her, instantly stepping next to Carina as we both faced an angry Isobel MacDougal.
"Yes, you were." Carina said slowly, "If I recall correctly it was your brother who wasn't cheering me on-"
"Shut the fuck up-"
"And I have it on good authority that you had a falling out of sorts with your brother earlier last week-"
"You know nothing-"
"Stop it." I hissed finally, successfully getting my request granted and their attention, "I don't know what's your problem Isobel, but Hadley is my friend-"
"Yeah right-"
"I don't care about what you think." I continued, then looked at Carina's pissed expression, "And you don't need to provoke her either."
"She started it-"
"Tell her to stop bothering me-"
"Shut it."
But all that did was make Hadley turn around, hitch up her school bag and start walking away rapidly, "If I were you Malfoy," she said over her shoulder, "I'd ask why her eyes keep straying to her brother everytime you talk to her-"
"You bitch."
"For Merlin's sake MacDougal!" I shouted, yanking her closer to me roughly, "Throw another insult at her and I will make you regret it."
Her face clouded with confusion, barely replacing the fury, but she pushed me away from her blotchy face, "Why are you siding her?"
"Because he just said I'm his friend you dumbass!" Carina shouted from a few feet away, halting her progress away from us. "You on the other hand are using him."
"What?" I questioned, my eyes not wandering from Carina's as she sighed, somewhat in the back of my mind the same question I had yesterday circled, about how everything with Isobel was way too easy, like she wanted this to happen. But that's why I wanted her for this charade, her little crush might actually help me-
"It's her brother who likes you." Carina said, smirking as Isobel's face fell, "She's using you to get to him-"
The next minute played out in fast-forward, one second I saw Isobel's face drop and the next she had her wand out, shooting a spell that caused Carina to hit the stone wall behind her with so much momentum that the entire corridor echoed with a loud thud.
"Fuck."
*
"I'm going to get her expelled." I seethed as I paced around the infirmary, my heart beating too wildly for me to stay still, and under the wary glances of my friends who hovered near a knocked out Carina's bed, I was just as confounded as they were.
"Draco?" Daphne said softly as she shifted Carina's dark hair from across her forehead, an action that made me sigh because my fingers were itching to do so ever since Pomfrey allowed us back in to see Hadley. "Why did Isobel attack Carina?"
Blaise huffed as I rounded in on her, was she out the entire time I explained this ordeal? Twice?!
"Because Carina said something about Isobel's brother liking Draco." Pansy replied, bored on the other side of the bed, leaning onto Blaise too heavily. "Touchy subject among the twins I'm sure."
"Holycrap." Daphne exclaimed, looking as excited as ever, "She actually found out!"
"Found out what?" I asked, coming to stand at the end of the bed, "I didn't even know Isobel had a brother-"
"Yes." Daphne cut me off, her eyes narrowing, "Next time find a girl whose sibling doesn't have a crush on you."
"How was I supposed to know?" I asked, just as a rolled up ball of parchment hit my head, courtesy of Madam Pomfrey making her appearance, yelling at me to be quiet and behave in the hospital wing. I rolled my eyes, but shut up as she checked Carina, and then relayed the news that she's okay and nothing was broken.
"So she's alright then?" I asked, going to stand beside Carina's head as Pomfrey moved, looking through the assorted bottles of potions on the side-table.
"I would say so." She mumbled, picking up one dark bottle and critically studying it, "However I won't discharge her till tomorrow morning." Then she rounded in on me, "Now where is the student responsible for this abhorrent behaviour?" she demanded softly and I pursed my lips at her tone.
Who did she think I was?
Someone who didn't care about Hadley's safety?
"With Flitwick," I said flatly, "Getting punished."
Satisfied with my answer she turned around, reminding us that visiting hours will be over in 30 minutes and left us to ourselves. Correction: Left me to the mercy of my friends.
"Shut up." I mumbled at them, huffing as I sat next to Carina, her petite frame barely covering any of the bed. "It's not like I knew she harboured so much hatred-"
"Yeah well." A voice croaked from beside me, "Maybe her eagerness to date you should've been a giveaway."
"Thank Merlin." Daphne sighed as she sank down to cradle Carina's head in her arms, looking positively relieved at the way she was responding, "Archer would kill me if you something happened to you."
Right, Archer.
"Well if psycho-bitch has been contained," Carina replied hoarsely, patting Daphne's arm as she kept her eyes locked with mine, cutting me with her words, "I think I can make it through rest of the year relatively unscathed."
I rolled my eyes at her dramatics, my heart rate settling down now that I knew she was back to her old self.
And that's how I wanted to keep it.
"On that note." I said, awkwardly patting her forehead, "I'm going to go see what punishment Isobel got-"
"No." Carina said simply and swatted Blaise's hand away from her face as he decided to test her sight, as amusing as that was, I did have to leave.
"Feel better." I said, meaning it with everything I had, it's unsettling how much this was bothering me, but there's little I can do to calm that thought, instead choosing to lock it away.
"Draco!" Carina huffed, and I think started to get up because three different cries sounded, and I turned back to see Daphne, Pansy and Blaise, pushing her back into the cot.
"What?" I asked, staring at her red face, how much is she hurting?
"Fucking let me talk to you!" she ground out, pushing hands away from her again, but staying put, "Alone." She added after a beat and pointedly stared everyone down, until Daphne smiled at her, murmured something in her ear and pulled Blaise and Pansy away, marching to the door.
"What?" I asked, coming to stand at the end of her bed and slowly looked at her pale face, "What is so important?"
She didn't answer, choosing to glare at me for a few seconds until I sighed and walked closer to her side, the glare only softening by a notch, "Why?" she asked when I came to stand next to her, immediately making me look away.
"You know why." I mumbled, my eyes trained on the big windows behind her bed, pretending to look at the picture of dusk that the sun-painted.
"We could've handled Pansy-"
"And then what?" I asked, looking back at her sharply, "How were we going to handle Daphne and Blaise, and Crabbe and Goyle?!"
Her face reddened, but she didn't flinch at my accusation, which frankly stunned me a bit, what was her plan? To come out in the open about this?
"They would've understood." She said quietly after a moment of intense staring and my heart dropped to my stomach at her admittance.
She really was going to tell everyone.
I don't know what scared me more, the fact that I was actively considering it after this debacle or the fact that everything we've done to keep this hidden was going to waste.
"No." I said shakily, "No, they wouldn't have!" my hand shook as I ran it through my hair, "I have a reputation Hadley-'
"Yes." She said loudly, the word filled with so much contempt it felt like a physical blow. "You're precious reputation." She carried on, chocolate browns locked with mine, "They are our friends!" she ground out. "I wasn't telling you to broadcast it around school, just them!"
Every word hit me, which was strange because I actually found myself thinking back to why we were hiding this from our friends in the first place. Okay so maybe Pansy is a bit of a gossipgap but she can keep her mouth shut when she wants to.
They are our friends.
Suddenly our reasons to keep this shut felt stupid.
Yes I hated her at the start, but we still shared the same friend's circle-
What am I thinking?
"It doesn't matter." I said, sighing and pulling back from her face, "I took care of it-"
"Yeah amazingly." she said scathingly, "Next time choose someone who doesn't want to kill me-"
"You provoked her!" I accused, daring her to disagree.
She just shrugged, narrowing her eyes at me as she said, "Thought you deserved to know the truth." She quipped, "You should know that no one in their right mind would ever date you."
"Ha-ha." I deadpanned, then shook my head and turned around. "Feel better." I said bitterly as I finally left the wretched wing, my mind still reeling over my decision to ever sleep with her and even worse, spin this elaborate lie to keep it under wraps.
But something else kept me awake that night, the image of Carina passed out on the floor, burned behind my lids whenever I tried to shut them and the blinding rage that came over me at her vulnerable state was enough to make me dismiss at least one thought.
Seeing Carina get hurt was no longer something to do with being the only person allowed to hurt her.
This was deeper, stronger and scarier.
*
"Which decree are we on right now?" I yawned as we settled for breakfast the next morning, with Crabbe and Goyle already halfway done with emptying everything in sight. Blaise shrugged from next to me.
"Who knows?"
A new decree was pasted on the bulletin board this morning, debarring the teachers from talking about anything other than their specific subject. Fine with me, it's not like I wanted to braid their hair and get on with the newest gossip on the block.
"Do you think it's so that people don't ask them about the breakout?" Blaise asked, his face still groggy, but his words sent a shiver up my spine, waking me up nicely.
Nothing like being reminded that your father set loose a bunch of criminals to wake you up.
"Maybe." I mumbled, the thought of eating now far from my mind.
"Why so glum, chum?" Pansy called, as she settled opposite us, a smug smile on her face as she handed Daphne a few rolls and some bread in a napkin. "This okay?"
"I hope so." Daphne said, shooting us a quick smile as she wrapped the napkin up and stuffed a piece of fruit in her mouth, "See you later."
"Do I even want to know?" Blaise asked, as we saw Daphne's blonde mane disappear in the constant throng of students entering the hall.
"Carina will be realised in a few minutes," Pansy said, buttering some toast, "Daphne didn't want her to be late for first class so decided to get her breakfast."
But it wasn't until Potions that either of us saw Carina and by then we had very happily assumed she was skipping, so when Snape suggested partnering up for class today, I didn't even think twice before pulling Blaise to a table, followed by Pansy and Daphne taking the table next to us.
It was just as we were starting to gather the ingredients for the brew that Carina entered, handing Snape a small piece of parchment and looking over at us with an amused smile, however that smile was wiped right off her face when she heard Snape say, "Hadley go partner up with Potter there, him being with Weasley might just blow my classroom up."
Horrified faces looked up at Snape, who calmly turned around and started listing the needed ingredients on the board, leaving Carina to gawk at his demeanour.
"Professor-"
"Now Hadley." He cut her off, "I can assure you that the potion will need all the remaining time left, unless you want your tardiness and Potter's complete ineptness to be held against you."
The entire classroom waited with baited breath as Carina slowly turned around and hesitatingly made her way to Potter's table at the very end of the classroom, her carefully blank face looking at us from time to time, but even my half-hearted attempt at smirking at her didn't bode well.
I couldn't stop myself from glancing over at Carina the entire time Blaise and I stood behind others, lined by the storage cupboard, and the stiffness with which they both moved and barely exchanged words with each other was downright comical, if only I was still the same Draco I was a few months ago.
Watching both Carina and Potter squirm would've made my entire week back then.
But right now, it just made feel sorry for her.
Nevertheless, Blaise was quick to divert my attention from the enemy pair, getting us to move fast and finish today's potion. It wasn't until I heard the tell-tale sound of Carina's laugh that my head sharply turned, only to find both Potter and Carina laughing as they poured ingredients into the mixture, seemingly over the moon now that the tension had melted.
I wasn't the only one who was flabbergasted at the new development, Weasel didn't look happy about the advancement either and made his displeasure clear as they abruptly shut up, only till Granger whacked Weasel's head and they all laughed.
I was even more aware of the knife I was clutching now, feeling my hand grow numb before a warm hand wrapped around it and Blaise shook my arm roughly, "Draco?"
"Huh?"
His gaze followed mine as we looked at Carina happily chirping next to Potter, looking as blissful as ever and a strange feeling coiled in my stomach, the one which told me to physically pull Carina back to my side.
Lest she join forces with Potter?
What?
No.
Calm down, Draco. She's working with Potter because Snape ordered her to not because she wanted to. Carina has always hated him, what did she call him? Oh right, an unnecessary disaster on legs.
There is no rhyme or reason for you to feel...protective over her at the moment.
None.
"Malfoy?" Carina's voice broke through my internal rambling and I realised I had walked up right behind her and Potter to the storage cupboard, "Draco-"
"Are you alright?" I asked, looking her over thoroughly to which she just tsked, crossing her arms over her chest and peeking at Snape behind me, "Carina-"
"Hey, I think I've got the powder." Potter said slowly, turning around with a confused expression as he took in our stances.
"Oh um..." Carina turned to him, slightly coming between the two of us, I wasn't sure of it was intentional or not, "I'll be right with you Harry..."
That was enough for Potter to turn his green eyes at me, the friendliness dying in them to be replaced with hatred. Pure and raw. Not like that wasn't mutual.
Boy who lived.
What a fucking joke.
"Potter-"
"Shut up." Carina hissed, shoving Potter away as she pulled me closer and into the cupboard slightly, "Are you out of your mind?"
"Me?" I asked, surprised at being the one on the bad side, "Are you crazy? Laughing with Potter?"
She sneered, "Why do you care?"
"I hate him." I announced, "Everybody knows I hate him-"
"Exactly." She said, looking up at me with bright eyes, "You hate him, I don't care about him enough to spend any emotions in that direction."
"Oh right." I barked, "Is that why you were canoodling and giggling?"
It was instantaneous, her face going from pissed off to enraged to an immediate shut down, like blanks being lowed over a window, I felt her face close off.
"You know what, Malfoy?" she said calmly, "In the past 24 hours I've been assaulted, hurt and made to believe that I was nothing but a waste of your bloody time. So forgive me if I don't give a fuck as to what you think." She pulled away, stepping around me to go back to her workstation. "As for my bonding with Potter, at least he doesn't hate me because I don't hate muggles. In fact, he actually tried to hold up a conversation with me, we have a lot in common, you know, we both grew up surrounded by them."
That said she flipped around, her hair hitting me in the face like a whip, just like her words had and she left, not looking back for one second.
The coiling I had in my stomach was gone, interchanged by a fiery pit of rage, but as I made my way back to my bench I realised I didn't want to hurt Carina. Far from it. I wanted her with me, next to me, and away from anyone else.
Motherfucking Merlin, I was jealous.
*
I didn't see Carina for the rest of the day, and I'm wasn't sure how I felt about that. Yet.
But trying to finish homework while keeping my mind off her was starting to become an issue, especially since Blaise and Daphne kept discussing how shocked they were at the unnatural bonding. So while the root of my problem was off gallivanting, I was stuck in the cold Common Room, still somehow surrounded by her presence.
"Guys!" Pansy shrieked as she collided into us, spilling inkpots and ruining parchment, full of so much happiness, I wanted to ask her if she was high on something. "Hagrid's on probation!" she announced, a shit-eating grin on her face and the entire room cheered.
"About damn time!" I muttered, because frankly I was starting to lose faith in Dumbridge and her ridiculous decrees.
While the news made me very happy, I was overjoyed at the way Blaise and Daphne's conversation took a new turn and for 10 blissful minutes, no one mentioned Carina.
Until the very persona non grata, solely by me of course, came into view, almost slumping down on the couch looking like she was too exhausted to function.
So I pushed down the part of me that wanted to ask her if she was doing alright and stared down at my half-written Transfiguration essay.
"Carina!" Pansy pounced, always the overhyped bitch with new gossip, "Did you hear that Hagrid is on probation?" I didn't looked up to see her reaction.
"Yes." Carina replied, sighing, "So is Trelawney."
"What?" Blaise cried, making me look up at her bored expression to which she just shrugged.
"And how do you know?" Pansy asked, noting the discomfort growing on Carina's face at the question. "Care-"
"Well, Potter told me..."
That's it.
"Oh yes." I sneered, "Potter told you so it must be the truth right? His words are holier than the-"
"So what if Potter told me?" Carina rounded, sitting up straighter as I shot her a glare, "It's just gossip, since when do you care about what Potter gossips about?"
"Since you seem to be getting chummy with him." I jeered and I was sure my face was twisted in a scorn.
"At least the people I socialise with don't attack people on sight." She shot back, effectively freezing all my movements and it was then that I realised we were nose to nose, my body angled up and hers crouched down at me, heavily breathing on my face.
Just like me, she blinked in disorientation when I didn't fire back immediately, and bit her lip, making my eyes zero down at her now plump ones, the same feelings I have been ignoring all day returning with crescendo and damn me if I didn't still want to kiss Carina Hadley.
It has been far too long.
Like an entire day...fuck I sound so needy. Buck up Draco, you can't have such strong feelings for Carina Hadley.
"Fuck off, Malfoy." She hissed, pulling back and shouldering her bag, swiftly walking out the Common Room in the next instant.
"Draco-"
"Yeah I got that." I said, shrugging Blaise's hand of my shoulder as I picked up my stuff too, hastily dumping it all in and making my way behind my now steadily snowballing problem. A problem that made me feel lightheaded in her company and made my heart beat twice as fast.
Nope, not even going to go there.
This is Hadley.
I may not hate her, but there is no way I can like her.
But before I could repeat my mantra again, a soft hand stopped me from exiting the Common Room and I turned back to see a tired Daphne, looking at me reproachfully.
"Draco," she said, looking around imperceptibly to see if anyone was around us and before leaning in, "I know you've been there for her over the break, but that doesn't mean you are the only person she can hang out with."
The funny feeling in my stomach?
Turned to anger at her words and I pulled back from her too, giving her a mock sneer.
"Just think about how she feels with the entire Isobel scene, Draco." She said softly, "Especially after everything that you two have been through."
I want to say I dwelled deep into her words and got everything she implied the minute she did, but I ran out there like a bat out of hell and it wasn't until I saw Carina's dark hair turn a corner that I came to stop. My mind finally catching up with me, halting me completely.
Everything that we've been through?!
Well, Hadley came clean to Daphne then. Wonderful. No wonder she was no longer scared of telling people about us. If she told Daphne and she's still living, there's probably no one else she will be scared of.
"Hadley!" I called out, seeing as she was just about to turn another corner the last one before the library, her sanctuary. "Wait up."
She didn't.
So I ran, shoving a few lowerclassmen out of the way and finally succeeding in pulling her to me right before she crossed through the library threshold. "I said, wait up."
She huffed, half-heartedly trying to pull out of my grasp, "Why?"
"Because I want to talk to you." I said, guiding her to the staircase at the end of the corridor, mostly so that we could have some semblance of privacy even though we would be in full view of everyone in the hallway. At least they won't hear us.
"Well, spit it out then." She said just as we reached an alcove seat, "Because I have zero time for you bullshit anymore."
I rolled my eyes at her dramatics, the funny feeling seeping back in me now that I had Hadley ready to listen. What was I supposed to say?
I got jealous of you getting along with Potter and I wish you never talk to him again?
That'll go so well, I can already feel the bruise forming on my face from the punch it would inevitably receive. Carina does not do orders.
"I wanted to..." C'mon Malfoy, words, think, use that brain of yours, this is Carina, remember how easy it was to talk to her? Or not talk?
"Malfoy-"
"I'm sorry." I broke in, falling silent at the admission and waiting for her to relax in some way, but she stayed stony, a sign I took to talk further, "I shouldn't have let Isobel do that you, or get mad at you for wanting to be honest with our friends, or even have the right to judge you working with...Potter and-"
"Stop." She said softly, shaking her head almost sadly, "I don't want you to apologise for things you didn't do Malfoy-"
"But I did!" I said, and my hand extending itself to latch upon to hers, pulling her me, "And I'm apologising!"
"A feat in itself." She murmured, looking at our intertwined hand, "Thank you, but it was unneeded." She looked up then, her anger replaced by something I couldn't quiet discern in her eyes, "However I've realised that no matter how hard we try to be friends, we just aren't."
"What?"
She met my gaze head-on, hers slowly clouding over with sadness, "We aren't friends." She echoed lightly, "We shouldn't pretended to be."
"Of course we are friends." I said, baffled at the new turn this conversation was taking, "What are you talking about-"
"No." she said, shaking her head as she went on, "We aren't friends, we are two people who went through stuff and falsely assumed that it connected us somehow but it was just us using each other as crutches to get over our own emotional hell-"
"Hadley!" I cut her off, a dull ache settling at the back of my head at her long, really confusing explanation, "What's gotten into you?"
That seemed to irritate her further, her mood souring in an instant, what's with these terrible mood-swings, she usually had a bit more patience when she comes to me right?
"Oh I'm sorry." She hissed, pulling her hand back from my hold, "Maybe your girlfriend throwing me into a bloody wall messed up my brain-"
"She's not my girlfriend!" I hollered at her face, grimacing with her at the memory, "And I just apologised for the Isobel thing!"
"And that magically fixed everything?" she asked, shooting guilt into me with those words and I sighed, mentally scolding myself for my next move as I stepped in and pulled her flush into me, holding her tight enough so that her resisting arms cannot push us apart. It was comical, but very much needed.
We both knew I was at fault, and that no matter how much we denied it, we needed each other, so when my hands started rubbing soothing circles around her back she relaxed.
Yes, we put us in this position by juvenilely hooking up, but we were the only two people who could understand each other now. Our secrets were the same, our homes were mashed up and our fears rivalled each other.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled in her ear again, feeling her arms wrap around my waist, "Even for your dad, and mine and the-"
"Yeah." She murmured, knowing exactly what I meant and we stayed that way for a few minutes. A joyous feeling rising in me at having her so close again almost like I was finally calming down.
A very painful realisation made itself known then, reminding me I needed to sort out my feelings for the brunette before either of us did something drastically game-changing. But that part was still squashed down by how at peace I was right now, with citrus in the air and her warm against me.
"Dray."
I hummed in response, unwilling to let go of the serenity just for a while longer. But when I loosened my hold on her to have her look up at me, a mischievous twinkle caught my eye. "Will you do me a favour? You know to make up for your..." she pursed her lips, tilting her head, "whatever it is that Isobel was."
"A distraction." I supplied, trying to be helpful, but I was positively bursting with what I think her train of thought was leading to.
She shrugged, "Meet me at the Commons couch at 1am."
A grin responded to her question, "Yes ma'am."
And she smiled the rest of the way as we walked back to the Slytherin Common Room, significantly better and happier.
It was a little after 12:30 that night, when I saw the last of the 7th years leave, that I retreated to the far corner of the room, one that was perpetually in darkness if you extinguished the lamp next to it. I fell into the couch, my eyes trained on the dormitory door and my mind trying to sort out the jumble mess that was my thought process when it came to Carina Hadley.
I didn't like seeing her have a good time with someone other than me. Oddly jealousy but I can still live with it.
I didn't like it when someone else hurt her, again oddly jealousy and territorial, but now something I couldn't live with.
I didn't like seeing her being fucked over by her parents. Oddly humane of me, but again something I couldn't live with.
But then there she was, coming into my line of sight, swallowed by one my hoodies and a beanie, from the complete opposite direction she was expected to come from. She was out. And from the way she was running her arms around herself, cold too.
Only a blind person could say that Carina Hadley wasn't a complete vision as she walked to me, somehow knowing I was there even when I knew she couldn't see me in the pitch black darkness I was absorbed in. But dear Merlin the moonlit waters did a number on her, making her glow as she walked, dark hair framing her pale face and a smile lifting her lips, that I couldn't wait to kiss off.
That, I decided, I didn't like it when anyone else saw her the way I do, and as enamoured it sounded, I realised I was okay with it. I liked Carina Hadley in the way any normal teenage bloke can like his crush, and I definitely more than liked the fact that even after all the crap we've been through, Carina could still make me feel normal like that.
She made me forget, because to her I wasn't Draco Malfoy, the son of Lucius Malfoy, I was just Draco.
And I like Carina Hadley.
"Where have you been?" I whispered as she blindly reached for me, pulling her onto my lap swiftly and throwing a blanket around her shoulders to start warming her up.
"Just posting a letter to Will." She replied, her voice shaking a little at how cold she was and my movements halted.
Then there was Will. Her muggle bestfriend.
And in the minute it took for her to find my face and leave a kiss at the side of my lips I realised something else too.
I didn't give a flying fuck.
I didn't care if she associated with muggles anymore.
And that was liberating.
Like I was finally tearing myself away from my father's shadow, and that gave me a renewed sense of hope.
I wasn't my father, I wasn't a criminal, and I wasn't a death-eater.
I was Draco Malfoy.
And I liked a girl, for who she was, not her blood status.
*
I woke up warm, cuddled, and extremely rested to pitch black darkness.
The sun hadn't risen yet and it was just as well because Carina was plastered to my side like a tattoo, one that didn't hurt. So I did the only thing I could do to wake her up slowly.
Hummed classical piano music as I played with her hair slowly, almost caressing her scalp that always made her purr in her sleep. It was wonderful and she loved every minute of it, if her reaction to it over the break are anything to go by.
"Morning." She rasped, rubbing her nose into my chest as she slowly roused from her sleep-coma. "What time is it?"
"I don't know." I murmured, still continuing my ministrations on her head, now that I was at peace with my feelings towards her, somehow everything felt calm, a strange quiescence settling in me, I hoped it would last. Not having to think so much was definitely advantageous, now I could pay attention to school work more.
I wasn't sure how long we laid there, both still too lethargic to get up, it wasn't like we had been up to anything last night, I was almost too used to Carina's start of the month cycle now and knowing that she slept better next to me not only boosted my ego, but also made me want to do it more. But we got up, languidly making our way to the dorms in darkness, all until I pressed her against the door to the girls dormitories and kissed her senseless. Well it almost rendered me senseless, I have no idea how she felt, but her sigh was heartening.
"Bonne nuit. (Good night)" She mumbled against my neck, leaving a searing kiss on it as she turned around.
"Doux rêves, amour (Sweet dreams, love)" I echoed, making her halt and look at me with awe.
"You speak French?" she asked, her pretty face glowing in the darkness and I nodded, leaning in to kiss her cheek.
"Latin and Italian too." I informed, smiling with her.
She nodded then, "You're part French aren't you?"
I gave her a smug grin, "From my father's side yes."
"I'm just surprised it took you that long to show it off." She murmured, then shook her head and opened the door, "Au revoir. (Good bye)"
"à bientôt (see you soon)" slipped out before I even had the chance to rethink.
As much as the thought of sleeping more sounded great, I felt restless and by the time anyone else woke up in my room I was showered, fully dressed, and already done with a major part of my essay.
"Draco, what the fuck?" was what Zabini greeted me with as I slowly looked up from my homework, "How long have you been up?"
"A couple of hours." I said, going back to my work as I gestured for him to get on with it. "Hurry up, I'm hungry."
"Man please tell me you didn't spent the night with fucking Isobel again." He groaned as he stretched out of bed, giving me a sour expression to which I just sighed.
"I didn't." I affirmed, "Just wasn't tired enough to sleep for long."
"You weren't in bed last night-"
"I was working in the Common Room." I explained, "Got in late, got up early."
I felt his gaze burn the side of my face but I refused to look up, with my excuse gone I had nothing else but the truth left and I would like to talk to Carina before I went around wagging my eyebrows at Zabini of all people.
"I don't believe you." Zabini finally ground out, huffing as he went to his trunk and I pursed my lips, gauging how I wanted to approach this. Well, seeing as I have no idea how I'm going to even start telling Carina that I actually genuinely like her and with the odds of her actually believing that and by some grace liking me back being slim to none...
"Well, Zabini." I said pleasantly, shooting him a smirk, "I don't care."
"Draco, she blew Carina to the wall-"
"Morning!" Nott shouted, coming between Zabini and me, his face anxious as he hurried over to me, shutting my ink pot and rolling up parchment. "I'm starving, Malfoy, want to join me to breakfast?"
This is new...
I rolled my eyes but complied, eager to get out of this conversation.
"Don't think this is over!" Blaise called back as we exited the dorm and I sighed, knowing full well it wasn't.
"Thanks mate." I mumbled as Nott and I ascended the stairs to the Great Hall, keeping an eye out for a certain brunette who I now realised I have to talk to real soon.
"Don't sweat it." He said, taking a seat next to me, but then he wagged his eyebrows at my face and I knew this conversation was going to go the exact same direction as the previous one.
"Shut up, Nott-"
"Okay fine!" he amended, sneaking a quick glanced behind me and standing up, "Pansy has been on a downer lately I have to talk to her first, as for you, Daphne's here, she will protect you from Zabini now." That said he scurried off to steer Pansy away from me and take a seat at the end of the table. I didn't have the desire to tell him exactly why Pansy was so down, I'm sure he'll figure it out soon enough.
"Why am I protecting you from Zabini?" Daphne asked as she took a seat next to me, looking dubious.
But I answered it with, "Where's Carina?"
She smirked at my reply.
Of course.
She knows.
"Are you going to answer?" I pressed, trying and failing to keep my curiosity at bay as I turned back to look at the doors.
Her laugh brought me back and she punched my shoulder, "She's still getting ready." I nodded, now getting back to my breakfast, "Can I ask you something?"
"No." I answered, because honestly I needed to talk to Carina before any of this escalated.
"Too bad I'm going to anyway." She continued, dumping a generous amount of porridge in her bowl, "Now tell me when you bitches are going to get out of your heads and do something about this?"
"I'm sorry what?"
She tsked, "She likes you Draco." Daphne sighed, spooning in some food, "And I know for a fact that you do too, so which one of you is going to get a move on?"
It is not healthy how fast my heart started beating at her simple admission and I worked hard on keeping my face from doing something weird, like grinning, so I cleared my throat and shook my head at her.
"I know Carina told you, but let's not get too ahead-"
"Oh get off of it!" she cried and I sharply turned my head to watch as Carina entered the hall, looking over at the table until our eyes met and a huge grin broke over her face, almost mirroring the one I wanted to sport a second ago. "You better get off your arse and do something about this, Malfoy." Daphne warned, greeting Carina as she went back to her breakfast, giving me a triumphant glance.
"Hey." Carina said as she sat down next to me, a smile on her face and a toast in her hand.
"Hey." I muttered, smirking at her as I spooned some porridge, for the first time in a long time, I was happy. Carina was right, we aren't friends, we were something much more and I needed to stop beating around the bush.
*
It was dinner by the time I had come to terms with my decision, only more fuelled to do so when I saw Carina laughing with Potter and Granger in one of the corridors between classes.
I get jealous easy. There, I said it. I've always had everything handed out to me on a platter and seeing Carina taken away from me doesn't sit well with me.
Not just that, Daphne has been on my head all day. Between avoiding her, trying to keep up with Carina and positively running in the opposite direction of Blaise, I've cut more lessons than usual and I think I need to settle this. If only for the sake of my grades.
Oh who am I kidding? This is Carina. Not some flimsy fling with Pansy. Come to think of it I don't even know how I managed that, nothing with Pansy compared to anything with Carina, but then again Pansy I were a thing for one full day so how would I know?
So when I entered the moderately filled Great Hall for dinner that evening, too early for any of the teachers to even be there I was shocked to find Carina happily munching on bread rolls.
"Hey." I said as I slid in next to her, noting that Daphne, Pansy and Nott were seated on the other side of the table, seemingly too busy talking amongst each other. "What are you doing here so early?"
She titled her head in Daphne's direction, "Pansy and Blaise really need to sort their shit out." She murmured into my ear, then turned to distastefully glare at Blaise as he made his way to us.
I groaned at his menacing expression narrowed at my face, causing Carina to snort, "What's up with you two? Why is Blaise ready to chop your head clean off?"
I shrugged as he finally neared us, "Draco-"
"Thanks for noticing me too, Blaise, wonderful day." Carina cut in, smirking at him as she shifted into me a bit, laying a hand on my thigh and I reached down to grasp it. I don't know how she knew there was slight tension in the air, but she did and I was so thankful for her perceptiveness.
"Did you know he spent the night with Isobel again last night?" Blaise cut in, giving me a smug grin as Carina loomed over at me with raised eyebrows, fighting a grin herself.
I shrugged at her and she just shook her head, the hand on my thigh tightening.
"So?" she asked turning back to Blaise who had now taken a seat next to her. "What do I care?"
He spluttered out the water he was drinking, "What do you mean why do you care?" he asked loudly, his eyes bulging to occupy almost half of his face just as people turned to us at his sudden blow.
"Blaise..." Carina started, glancing around at the unwanted attention we were now getting. "I think you're overreacting-"
"I'm overeating?" he exploded, successfully making both of us cringe in unison. "Do you have a head injury for the time Isobel threw you into a bloody wall?!"
"Blaise!" a new voice interrupted and we all turned to see Daphne staring daggers in his direction, "Don't you think you need to keep it a little low?"
He laughed, "If you want to be mad at someone be mad at Draco."
"What?"
"No." Carina cut in, making us all turn, "Stop it-"
"Why are you siding him?" he asked, looking between the two of us strangely and Carina sighed.
"He was just helping me finish my potions essay-"
"Lie." Blaise shot back, "Your eyes are doing that thing where they don't match the words that come out of your mouth."
"Enough, Zabini." I ground out, sending him a warning glance over Carina's head.
"Do you even understand the meaning of the word enough, Draco?" he asked, leaning forward on the table and shooting me a sideways look. "You just went ahead and spent time with the girl who hurt one of your friends-"
"Okay that's it." I stated, swiftly turning Carina to me in one moment and shooting her a wink as I leaned forward to press our lips together, softy at first, until the shock passed and then she was kissing me back, hands coming up to loop around my neck as the heady rush she always evoked in me took over, tuning everything else out but just her.
It took us some time, I might even go as far as to say we were at it for multiple minutes, but I'm certain it must've only been a few seconds, that we finally separated. With lazy grins on our faces we noticed the silence that had fallen around us along with the gaping, shocked faces aimed in our direction.
I rolled my eyes, threw an arm around Carina's shoulders as I prepared to tell them to piss off, but some beat me to it.
"Shows over, people!" Daphne shouted, her voice a direct contrast to her face, which was positively glowing with happiness, "Get back to your dinner!"
Carina groaned next to me, burying her face into my shoulder as I finally turned to Blaise, who still had his mouth hanging agape.
"Flies, Zabini." I said smugly, lightly flicking his shoulder, "Shut your stupid mouth."
**