Jangmi's POV
2 weeks later
DING
I'm just about to tuck into a slice of pizza until my phone starts ringing.
I huff and reluctantly get up from the dining seat and walk over to my phone on the couch. I look at the caller ID and my mood instantly changes. It's Yoongi.
"Hello?" I answer.
Hey, baby. It's me. Are you free?" He asks.
"Hey! Yeah I'm free. What's up?" I reply, sitting down on the couch.
"Good, I just wanted to talk to you about something. I have some... bad news." He says.
"Oh no... What is it?" I ask worriedly.
"They've extended the tour, so I'm gonna be gone for another 3 months. I'm really sorry, jagi." He says with sadness in his voice.
"Oh..." I trail off. "It's okay, you don't need to be sorry. I understand it's your work and you can't help that. We both knew things like this would happen." I say, trying to look on the bright side.
There's a slight pause before he speaks.
"You're amazing, you know that right? I love how understanding you are. But I am sorry. I miss you, I was excited to come home and see you. I really wish you came with me." He says.
I sigh down the phone. "I'm starting to wish I did too."
"Well, why don't you? Get a flight, join me for the next 3 months." He says.
"You know how much I want to, but it's not practical. My boss would never allow me time off for 3 months." I say.
He lets out a frustrated groan. "Jangmi, I don't know if I can go another 3 months without you here, without touching you..." He says.
He knows exactly what to say to persuade me. He's sly.
"I'll speak to my boss tomorrow, I'll ask him to grant me 3 months vacation leave." I say without hesitation. "But don't hold your breath, he could still say no." I add.
"Aish, you know just the right things to say, don't you? You're always persuading me. Devil man." I say playfully.
He laughs at me. "Yes I do. And don't worry, I'm sure your boss will say yes." He says.
"Yeah yeah... We'll see." I say smiling down at my lap.
"See you soon, jagi." He says.
"See you soon." I reply, hanging up the call.
As I'm about to put my phone down, my phone dings again. It's a picture message from Yoongi.
I open it, and I swear on everything that's holy I just had a heart attack. How does he do that? How can he be so perfect?
How can someone so 'savage' and 'blunt' be the most sweetest, kindest, wonderful person? He's not like he makes out to be to the public.
He is the most loving and caring soul I've ever met.
**
I walk into work ready to face my boss to ask for vacation time. I'm nervous, worried he'll say no. I want nothing more but to see Yoongi. My Yoongi. I'm desperate for his touch.
"Mr. Shin?" I approach my boss at his desk.
"Hmm?" Again, he responds not acknowledging me, not looking at me.
"Sir, I'm here to request 3 months vacation time to travel with my boyfriend." I say with confidence.
He looks up at me. God, I think this is the first time he's ever actually seen my face.
"3 months?" He scoffs.
"Yes. I have taken no sick leave, and I still have all of my annual vacation allowance. My boyfriend is away at the moment for work, and we haven't seen each other in 3 months. So I would like to take my vacation time I have to see him. I work very hard, Mr. Shin. I think I deserve it." I say assertively.
Yep, I told him alright.
He stares at me blankly.
"Alright, done. When do you want it?" He says.
"U-uh, starting from tomorrow." I say.
"Aish, a little short notice, Jangmi." He growls. "But fine. I'll grant it for you. Have a nice time." He says.
"Thank you, Sir." I say before bowing to him and walking back to my desk.
Oh my God, it actually worked. He said yes! I get my phone out of my purse and immediately text him the good news.
Ding
I smile at my phone and get on with the rest of my work day.
8:30pm
"Hyerin, what do you want for dinner?" I ask her.
Ever since she found out she was pregnant, she hasn't been the same.
She's always been this over the top, loud, bubbly person. But she's become a shell of her former self.
She doesn't run up to me and hug me anymore, she doesn't scream my name when she's excited to tell me something like she used to.
She seems so lifeless. She's not the Hyerin I know.
She doesn't answer me. "Hyerin?" I say louder, leaning towards her tilting my head.
"Hmm?" She mumbles, turning her head towards me, looking like she's in a daze.
"I said what do you want for dinner?" I ask.
"Oh, anything. I don't care." She replies.
I let out a heavy sigh and sit next to her at the table.
"Hyerin..." I say, holding her hands gently.
"I know you're going through a lot and it's hard for you and Jimin right now. But it's okay." I say, trying to comfort her.
"Is there something you want to talk about? To get off your chest? It'll help if you talk about it." I say calmly.
"God, Jangmi. Just get off my back. I've already told you everything, we've been over it a million times. I've been over it with Jimin a million times too. I'm sick of talking about it." She snaps, snatching her hands away from mine.
"We've already decided I have to carry this baby for 9 months just to give it away. It's not an easy decision to make. So I'm sorry if I seem a little different to you." She says sarcastically.
"I know you're just trying to help, I know you're trying to be supportive and be there for me. But I don't want to talk about it every single day. Just let me deal with this." She says.
"It also doesn't help you're leaving tomorrow for 3 months, leaving me on my own. I don't have Jimin here, I don't have our parents here, I won't have you here. I'll be on my own." She says, tears starting to fill her eyes.
"And it's just shit. Everything is shit. I don't want to be in this shitty situation. I'm sick of vomiting every morning, I'm sick of the pains everyday, I'm sick of feeling alone, I'm sick of thinking about what I have to do with this baby every day, I'm sick of loving someone who can't even commit to me, who can't be in a relationship." She continues.
I don't say anything and let her go on. Hopefully releasing all this pent up anger and stress will help her.
"I miss him, Jangmi."
"I love him." She says.
"I want nothing more than for us to just run off into the sunset and live happily ever after together, but I know that's just a fairy tale, a dream. It's not real, it's not possible."
"If the circumstances were different, if he wasn't an idol, then I would be happy to have this baby. But that's not reality. Reality is that he's too busy. Reality is that I'm a secret, and so is this baby. Reality is that we could never be a normal couple, we could never go out on a date, hold hands, hug or kiss in public." She says.
"The truth is, is that this is all my fault. I got myself into this situation. I have nobody to blame but myself. I understand that, so I'm not asking for your pity or your sympathy. And I'm sorry for snapping at you, I don't mean it. I love you, Jangmi." She continues
"You're all I have at the moment. I have no one else I can turn to for support, physically at least. And I guess it just hurts that you can't be there for me for the next 3 months." She says.
"But please don't get it wrong, I'm not in any way asking for you to not go, you need to go. You have a relationship that's important, and it is important for you to go and see him."
"I just feel so vulnerable and isolated, I feel empty."
"I'm scared, Jangmi."
"I don't know what to expect. I'll have to live the rest of my life knowing I have a child out there who I gave away, who I couldn't love and raise because of my own selfish actions."
"Sometimes I think to myself that I should have just aborted it. But I know that isn't the right thing to do. It's not the baby's fault I got it into this mess. It doesn't deserve its life taken away from it because of me and my stupid decisions." She lets out a long sigh.
She looks at me. This whole time she was staring at her hands on the table.
She pulls me into a hug. "I love you, Jangmi." She whispers.
She gives me a faint smile. "Go get yourself packed for tomorrow. I'll be fine." She says.
"Are you sure?" I ask her.
"You know I'll drop everything and stay here with you if that's what you want. As much as I love Yoongi, family comes first." I say.
"No, don't be stupid. I can survive without you for 3 months. It's not that long. You deserve some time off to relax anyway. Go see your man. I know how much you've missed him." She says and then pulls me into a hug.
"I love you too" I whisper back.