Chapter 17
It had been 2 weeks since I last saw Gavin and it was starting to drive me a little crazy especially since I think he is actually avoiding me. Denver and Lexi were my constant companions here at the pack and I was grateful for them but there was something about the abnormally handsome Alpha I was slightly obsessed with. I decided after a couple hours of talking myself into it to go to his office and demand he speak to me. It sounded absurd but I felt like I needed to, so I checked my image in the mirror to make sure I look presentable and headed over to the pack house. I was grateful when Denver didn't pop up and question what I was doing, that wolf seemed to be everywhere I went. I made it to the elevator and hit the number 4 and waited for the doors to close. I let out a sigh of relief when it started moving and no one had noticed me. When the doors opened, I turn right and knocked on the Alpha's office door before I could chicken out and run back to my room. When I didn't get a response I slowly opened the door and that's when he looked up at me. A smile started to form on his face and then suddenly he made his face neutral which made me confused and a little worried.
"How can I help you Sam?" he asked and I fully entered the room and shut the door behind me.
"You've been ignoring me." I stated and he seemed surprised my statement.
"I'm a busy man." He replied simply.
"No, I can tell your actually going out of your way to avoid me Alpha." I shot back and narrowed my eyes at him for affect.
"And how did you come to that conclusion little wolf?" He questioned a glint of humor in his eyes.
"You saw my wolf that day and have ignored me ever since, is there something wrong with my wolf?" I asked, panic rising in my chest.
"Quite the opposite, you have a rare wolf, your wolf is white. I have not seen or heard of a white wolf in quite some time. My wolf also reacted to your wolf in a weird way so I felt it better to keep my distance." He responded and I was surprised at his honesty and very surprised that my wolf was special.
"Did your wolf want to attack my wolf?" I asked, trying to figure out what he meant by weird.
"No, the opposite. He wanted to protect you I guess you could say." He replied.
"Well that isn't too weird, you are my Alpha." I said and shrugged my shoulders.
"So, is that the only reason you came to my office, to accuse me of ignoring you?" he asked as he leaned back in his chair with a smirk.
"Well, kind of... I was also wondering if maybe you wanted to come to the beach and the beach house with me soon?" I asked nervously; secretly praying he would say yes.
"I normally don't spend alone time with pack members Sam." Was his response, but it wasn't a no.
"That wasn't a no...Gavin..." I replied and when I said his name he almost seemed to purr in satisfaction which found odd for an Alpha.
"Very observant... when do you want to go?" he asked
"Tomorrow?" I replied, I wanted to see him soon, sooner than soon.
"So soon?"
"yes." I said almost breathlessly. Honestly, I sounded pathetic I'm surprised he hadn't thrown me out of his office.
"Meet me at the beach house at 10:00am." He said and I just nodded and then quickly left his office before he could change his mind.
I tossed and turned all night, I just couldn't fall asleep his grey eyes haunted me every time I tried to close my eyes. These were the feeling I had wanted to feel for Lucas until I found out he didn't wait for me, never cared that he had a mate out there waiting for him... I wish he would accept the rejection, I could feel a stabbing pain in my chest every so often and I wished to be rid of it, rid of him. Yet again Gavin had said there wasn't and never would be a Luna for the Lunar Moon pack, did that mean his mate had died? I was so curious, but I didn't want to push my luck and ask questions that would make him more distant than he already was. My wolf was just as drawn to him as I was which I couldn't explain...
I got up early and took extra care in my appearance today which was very unlike me, I was starting to accept that I had a crush on the Alpha. I know my feelings were misguided and I didn't expect for him to ever reciprocate the feelings but my feelings were there and there was no denying them even though I barely knew him.
I arrived at the beach house at 9:30am and put my stuff on the deck and then just went and sat by the water, the sound was so soothing, and I just let the wind blow through my hair. I felt at peace here, and I never wanted to leave.
"I see you're early..." I heard him before I saw him.
"I always come out here early in the morning, I didn't feel like waiting just because we were meeting later." I replied returning my gaze to the waves.
"Who knew a wolf could be so drawn to the water." He said and a soft chuckle followed his comment. I turned to look at him and noticed he was dressed casually and he looked more relaxed than I had ever seen him. I felt myself smile the more I studied him and he didn't seem to mind my staring.
"You're not as serious today...it looks good on you." I said with a smile.
"Sam...there is actually something I want to tell you. I should have told you from the beginning, but I just didn't know how to add to your drama without stressing you out even more." he admitted, and I felt my heart rate increase.
"Is this the topic you and Denver both seem to dance around when your near me?" I asked and he nodded and sighed.
"it can't be anything worse than what I've been through so you should just say it." I said sounding a little more short than I intended. I was so tired of being hurt and I didn't want Gavin to hurt me, I trusted him for some reason and I didn't want that to change.
"I'm part of the reason you don't have your mate...." He said and the words just hung there in silence, I didn't have any words I couldn't register what he just said for a few minutes and when they finally sunk in I felt my heart break.
"I don't understand, explain." I demanded fighting back tears.
"Jen was my mate, I met her at one of the council's annual balls. She was Lucas's date but I knew she was my mate the second I saw her and I claimed as much in front of everyone. She denied me right there in front of everyone, claiming Lucas was her true mate. She privately rejected me in one of the halls an hour later and ran off to be with Lucas. I was a coward and I accepted her rejection and let her move on with Lucas. If I had fought for my mate, if I had made her see she was stealing someone else's happiness and soulmate maybe you wouldn't be in the situation you are now... maybe you would be happy." He explained, my heart shattered but not for me for him. I threw myself into him arms and just hugged him as tightly as I could, I clung to him and i cried, I cried for the both of us.
"Don't you ever blame yourself Gavin, ever. This is not your fault it is theirs and they don't deserve us!" i cried out. He held me just as tightly as I held onto him, I was surprised at this but I also enjoyed it. They both truly didn't deserve mates, how could you so thoughtlessly and carelessly discard what the moon goddess gave you. Soulmates were a gift, humans didn't get them and the overwhelming love and acceptance I had witnessed between other mates was outstanding. Part of me wanted that, having a mate was like having someone who completed you and filled the emptiness in your soul. This must be why Gavin said there would never be a Luna, his future Luna had betrayed him and discarded him before she even spoke to him. At least she and Gavin saw there was no future after that and both accepted, they weren't going to be together. Lucas on the other hand wanted it all, he didn't want to give up Jen and now his pup but he wanted me as well. Yet there was still a small part of me that earned for the mate bond, for feeling complete.
"It is partly my fault Sam and I am very sorry." He said quietly.
"I won't let you blame yourself for what they both did, they made their choices and left us to deal with the fall out. I am sorry for your pain I understand it better than I would like. Is this why you agreed to meet me today, because you wanted to tell me that?" I asked as I glanced up at him.
"Yes, I decided you deserved the truth. I knew your story it was only right that you knew mine. Just so you know it is not why I allowed you to come to my pack, my decision was based solely on what I should do as an Alpha. It would be much easier to not have you here especially since Lucas is petitioning the Council to have you sent back to his pack."
"He found me?" I asked as I felt the panic rise in my chest, I couldn't go back, I'd die there.
"Yes, your mother was forced to give your father your location and Lucas demanded your father tell him. He hasn't told the council the entire story, the part where you are his true mate. I wanted to tell them but since he is expecting a pup I didn't want the council making a judgement on him. The Council frowns heavily upon rejecting your true mate, and even more heavily on marking another Wolf's mate especially an Alpha, I'm afraid of what they would charge him with because they could find him guilty of treason and that is punishable by death." Gavin explained and I suddenly felt all my hope slip out the window, if the Council knew the reason I had left I doubt they would force me back, but if we protected Lucas from the council and kept his secret they might side with him.
"Do you think they will force me back?" I asked trying to conceal how worried I actually was.
"I will do everything in my power to prevent it, hopefully I can hold them off till you are 18 which is only 6 months away and then they have no say. At 18 a wolf is free to choose which pack they belong to regardless of their family or alliance." He replied and I nodded, I just had to make it to my 18th birthday and I was officially free of Lucas, let the countdown begin.