(This is the second book in the series, please find Something Great (Book 1) on my profile, before reading this book)
Jen's POV
My life could only be described as three C's; Crazy, Chaotic and Confusing. I felt like I had made it full circle in the past year, because here I was again, on another twenty three hour flight to London. The only difference being I wasn't embarking on a new adventure, I was going back to one I had left behind six months ago, when I said goodbye to Harry that day.
I hadn't seen him since that miserable afternoon at Heathrow airport. We tried to make the distance thing work, but after two months of living in constant aching, emptiness and feeling lost without the only thing I wanted- or person I should say- I decided I had to take control of my life, and close the chapter that was holding me back from seeing the light again.
I still loved him, more than my own self could comprehend, I guess I didn't really know how much until three weeks ago, when my boss informed me I would be coming face to face with him again. It was that very afternoon I was reminded of my life for the last year, and how I knew once I saw him again, the butterflies I used to have, would take flight again.
"How are you feeling babe?" Mason turned and asked from the seat next to me.
"I'm nervous, you know I haven't spoken to him since we broke up, I don't know how he's going to react when he see's me," I sighed anxiously.
"I won't leave your side, I promise...unless you want me to of course," he assured me, squeezing my hand in his.
"Thank you for coming with me," I placed my other hand on top of his. I was so incredibly grateful for him, he was a strong factor in my heart somewhat mending after my break up with Harry.
"You know there isn't anywhere else I would rather be, than right here supporting you, my girl."
I smiled and laid my head down on his shoulder, attempting to sleep for the remainder of the long, anxious filled flight.
*3 weeks earlier*
I was sitting at my work desk, going through the latest celebrity gossip for my news segment later today, when Ava- my boss here at MTV- called me into her office.
"You wanted to see me?" I stood in her doorway, waiting for her to invite me in.
"Yes, take a seat Jen," she gestured for me to take a seat directly opposite her. She was a really friendly woman, only a little older than me. I got on really well with her. She was so vibrant and confident, which made coming to work each day, less daunting. Her personality reminded me a lot of Karen, which also made my job a little more bearable now that Angus was gone.
He had been offered a job over at the London MTV headquarters, we both had, but only one of us accepted. He had his life set up in London with Gemma. They had moved in together and often still bickered like an old married couple, even though they were still only engaged.
I still kept in contact with him, mostly on a weekly basis, but we never spoke about Harry. I also kept in occasional contact with Eleanor, Sophia and Perrie, as well as the 5SOS boys. Not as much as before, but the odd text here and there.
Sam was still going strong with Calum, they were about to celebrate their one year anniversary over New Year's. Ashton was still with Summer to my knowledge, and Luke and Kirstin were still managing to make it work from different countries, from what Sam had told me.
Everyone's lives were exactly how they were six months ago, except mine, I was the only one missing a huge part of my life. Sometimes I thought Harry and I could have tried harder to make it work, but my life was so crazy at work, and he was busy touring the world, the timing just wasn't right, right now.
"So I just got off the phone with Karen from the London office, and she wants to invite you over to the MTV awards over there. She wants you and Angus to present," she showed genuine excitement for me, but I wasn't so enthusiastic about this.
"Why? I'm a nobody," I responded. I didn't think highly of myself in the industry, this was the last job I thought I would be offered. It wasn't that I doubted myself, I just didn't think I had that much experience under my belt, to work an awards show.
"Jen, you and Angus were a huge success globally. Your show was the number one rated show on MTV, you don't give yourself enough credit girl," she shook her head.
"Ava, they watched for 1D and 5SOS, not Angus and I," I brushed off her praise. I also knew they only wanted to tune in to see Harry Styles' girlfriend, in hopes they would see some interaction between us, to layer on write about on social media.
"Oh is that why I'm constantly bombarded with appearance requests for you, thousands of tweets from crazed fans begging that you have more air time, and the fact you have about two million more followers on social media than anyone in this building, combined?" She questioned my dispute.
No one really made a big deal over me in the office, they knew I dated Harry for a while, but once we broke up they never really mentioned him. I was treated as an equal around here, and that's how I liked it.
I had to admit, it was a huge honour to be asked to present at the MTV awards, and whether I wanted to admit it or not, my celebrity status had grown dramatically over the past year. It also wouldn't have hurt to see Angus again, I did miss working with him every day.
Maybe I needed to stop being so hard on myself, and take the opportunities that were given to me. I was obviously considered for a reason, so I had to start being confident in myself, and my ability to handle such big projects.
"You think I'm ready for this? It's one thing to film segments that can be edited, it's another to present live, to a worldwide audience."
"If I didn't think you were capable of doing this, this conversation wouldn't be taking place. You're one of our best presenters Jen, believe in yourself, like I do," she said very genuinely, giving me the confidence boost I needed.
"Okay fine, you've made your point, when do I leave?" I accepted the offer.
"After the New Years break, the awards show is on January thirteen, so we'd fly you over a day or so before so you can make it for rehearsals, and maybe reacquaint yourself with a couple of people..." She pressed her lips together, to mask her smile. I knew exactly who she was hinting at, and now I was incredibly nervous thinking about seeing him again.
"There's not going to be any secret little rendezvous if that's what you're hinting at!" I said firmly, not entirely believing my own words.
"Hey, I didn't say anything about Harry!" She rose her hands in surrender, acting completely innocent.
"Sure...can I at least take someone with me?" Having the support of someone with me would calm my nerves only slightly, but it would be comforting to have the company, especially since I still wasn't fond of flying on my own.
"Who do you have in mind? Mason I'm assuming?" She grinned, like it was a given Mason would be my answer.
"If that's okay..." I confirmed her assumptions.
"Yeah it's fine, i'll make sure to let Karen know he'll be accompanying you. I'll arrange everything for you both, and i'll email you over all the details. Now get your butt out of my office and this building, and go enjoy your well deserved break!" She signalled for me to leave.
"Have a good Christmas and New Year," I walked over and hugged her.
"You too babe, now off you go," she laughed as I exited her office, making my way over to Mason's desk which was a short walk from mine.
He was tapping along to a new tune we had just received from Sony, making me laugh to myself at how adorable he was. Mason had been hired just after Angus had left. He had been working at the London office, but was waiting for an opening here in the Australian office, so when Angus left, they basically swapped places.
The two of us hit it off immediately, he had become a best friend to me, the two of us were basically inseperable since the day we met. I'd often post photo's of us together on social media, to which of course sparked up dating rumours.
Neither Harry nor I really ever confirmed our break up, I guess the fans just assumed we were no longer together since we hadn't been spotted together in six months, and neither of us mentioned one another on social media.
I suppose you couldn't really blame the outside world from thinking Mason and I were an item, but considering I knew his sexual preference and I did not match up to the gender he preferred, I knew we would be nothing more than friends. Not that I was ready for another relationship anyway.
Not many people knew about Mason's sexuality, only those closest to him. You couldn't even tell really- he was masculine, granted he was very well groomed and loved shopping, otherwise he didn't fit the stereotypical image people described.
"Hey you!" Mason turned his attention away from his computer screen, and smiled up at me. His brown eyes squinted- just like you know who's- when he smiled. He had the most infectious smile, it was almost impossible not to be happy in his presence.
"Hey Mase," I took a seat on his desk.
"So I saw you go into Ava's office, everything okay?" He sat back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. He was well toned, and I completely understood why the MTV viewers swooned over him.
"Yes and no," I shrugged.
"What happened?" He leant in closer to me, resting his elbows on his knees. He always sensed when I was uneasy with something, he described it as his sixth sense.
"They want to fly me over to London to present at the MTV awards with Angus," I answered.
"What? That's incredible!" He beamed.
"Yeah, it's an honour, and i'm excited to see Angus again..." I trailed off.
"But..?"
"But Harry's going to be there Mase," I looked outside the window to the busy streets beneath us. I couldn't even remember the last time I was truly happy walking the street's of Melbourne. Actually I could, it was when I had Harry by my side, but I couldn't admit that to myself. He'd made no attempt to contact me since our break up, but I had made no attempt to contact him either.
Every time I looked down at my tattoo, it was a constant reminder of him and our life together earlier this year. I still wore the necklace he gave me for my birthday, his ring, and the ring he gave me at the airport, I never had the heart to take them off. I tried not to think of him often, but it was damn near impossible when he was the most important part of my life at one point.
"Jen, I know you still love him, and I don't think either of you ever got the closure you needed. Maybe it's a good thing?" He tried to reassure me.
He was always really comforting, and I was grateful he was around after Harry and I broke up. He cradled me on the kitchen floor more times than I was sure he would have liked, wiped my tears, and promised me I wouldn't feel this sting in my heart forever.
"It's not that I don't want to see him, what if he doesn't want to see me? What if he completely ignores me and wants nothing to do with me? My heart is only just starting to mend Mase, I don't want to go back to square one!" I sighed, burying my face in my palms.
"Babe, it's going to be fine, I promise! I wish I could be there for you," he stood up, wrapping his arms around me.
"Well that's why I came over here actually," I looked up at him, and he pulled back. "Ava said you could come along with me."
"You're kidding!" He looked so thrilled, and it made me happy to see him this way.
"Not kidding, I asked if you could come, and she said yes! So Merry Christmas, get your passport ready, we're going to London," I smiled.
"Oh my God, oh my God!" He beamed, covering his mouth to mask the huge smile that took over his face. It was times like this I was reminded of his sexuality, and I found him to be extremely adorable.
"Are you excited?" I asked.
"Bloody oath I am! I miss London, and I've always wanted to go to an awards show! Jesus Christ I'm going to be the biggest fanboy there!" He laughed.
"Calm down," I laughed at his giddiness.
"I'll try! So when do we leave anyway?" He asked, much more relaxed than a few seconds ago.
"I haven't got all the details yet, but Ava said we'd be there a day before the actual show, which is January thirteen."
For some strange reason, I felt like January thirteen had some significance to me. I couldn't for the life of me think why though. It was no one's birthday, I had no appointments, but I couldn't shake the feeling I was missing something pretty important.
"I can't wait. I'll be with you the whole time, if you want to walk right past Harry and not say a word, i'll engage you in a conversation and we'll pretend like we didn't even see him, I promise this is going to be a good trip for you," he assured me.
I believed him.
"Thanks," I gave him a small smile, feeling slightly better about the impending reunion than a few minutes ago.
"Of course! So you finishing up or what? Today's the first day of your holidays," he reminded me.
"Yeah, I'm going to go off now! But you're still coming over tonight right?"
"Yeah, we spend every friday together, can't see that changing any time soon," he smiled.
"Okay, i'll see you tonight," I kissed his cheek, and finally headed home.
...
"WHAT?" Sam screamed when I had told her I was going back to London in three weeks.
"Relax!" I rolled my eyes, heading into the kitchen to make myself a tea.
"Relax? How are you so relaxed about this? He's going to be there isn't he?" Sam knew hearing Harry's name only upset me, so we made a promise to one another she would never mention his name.
"Yeah..." I tried to act unfazed by it, but internally I was hurting, and anxious just thinking about it.
"Have you spoken to him lately?" Calum asked. He had been in town for a week now since the 1D tour had wrapped up for the end of year break. Harry should have been here with me, but he wasn't, and I needed to stop wishing for things that wern't happening.
"No, and please don't tell him about the awards show. I've already told Angus not to say anything to him about it, I don't want to make a big deal about this. He'll see me on the night, and that will be it, we probably won't even talk."
I almost believed what I was saying, but I knew it was bullshit. You couldn't just ignore the person you loved more than anything in this world, even if we wern't together anymore.
"You're not serious! You don't actually believe the shit you're talking right now do you?" He called me out.
Calum saw first hand what Harry was like when we broke up. I told him I didn't want to know anything, as knowing how Harry reacted would have only broke my heart further, so he never mentioned him to me.
"He's probably forgotten about me anyway. I was a fling, we had fun, but it's over. Who knows, he probably has a new girlfriend now anyway." It killed me to even think Harry had moved on from me, but it was selfish of me to expect he hadn't.
"If you only knew how miserable he is without you Jen," he shook his head at my suggestion that Harry had moved on.
"You're in so much denial dude," Sam backed her boyfriend up. "You try to act like you don't care about him anymore, and you can belittle your relationship and call it a fling as much as you want, but everyone that was around you both know's it was more than that, and I think you know that too," she scolded me.
"I'm not in denial Sam, I'm just trying to move on with my life! If Harry missed me at all, he would have made an attempt to talk to me, but he hasn't!" I lost my temper.
I was angry at the whole situation. Angry that I gave up on him when I promised I wouldn't, angry he didn't try to save us, and angry that I still loved him after all this time.
"He stopped contacting you because he didn't want to make it hard on you! He knew if he kept messaging you and calling you, you would resent him for it in the end! He thought he was doing the right thing by letting you go, as much as he didn't want to.
I can't even remember the last time I saw him laugh, or even crack a smile that wasn't forced. You really have no idea how miserable he's been. I don't want to sound like a d*ck, but you really shouldn't assume things you have no idea about," Calum defended him. He was right though, I was just jumping to conclusions.
I should have known Harry's silence was to protect me, not to hurt me, but I was always too damn stubborn to see that.
"I still love him," I exhaled a deep breath I didn't know I was holding in, and finally admitted out loud.
"We know you do," Sam said in a much more sympathetic tone. "Jen, you can't just shut off feelings, especially strong ones like you had for Harry. Plus if you were over him you would have taken the rings and that necklace off. I think deep down you know you two aren't finished, and this trip may be a step in the right direction to repairing the broken relationship." I hated when Sam made sense, she was my younger sister, I was meant to talk sense into her, not the other way around.
"I guess we'll see what happens," I sighed, walking into my bedroom, not being able to deal with this situation anymore.
I walked over to my draw and pulled out a photo of Harry and I. We were dressed up, and we were looking at one another smiling, with our noses touching. We looked so happy...so in love.
Maybe this coming trip would be a step in the right direction, but I didn't know if I was ready to step back into our old life.
I guess time would tell...