Set in AU
Dean and Cas Winchester had been married and out of the hunting life for three years now. They lived in a small town, that was free of monsters, and Dean ran a mechanic shop in town. Cas didn't have a job, but he hadn't taken over a role similar to Bobby's, making sure that anything supernatural that popped up was being taken care of by one hunter or another.
The two were happy together, and had even adopted a little girl a few months ago. Her name was Ellie, and tomorrow, she'd be turning six months old.
That occasion made Cas very excited, and he wanted to find a way to celebrate it, but Dean disagreed.
Something had been off with Dean recently, and as the ex-hunter got more and more tense each day, Cas was growing worried. So the angel decided to consult the best source he had on the quirks of Dean Winchester.
"Sam, I'm worried about Dean." He began, on the phone with the younger Winchester. Sam was currently out in California, having returned to college to finish Law school.
"You're always worried about Dean," Sam replied.
"No- something's up with him, and I don't know what it is." Cas explained. "He's been so tense lately, and he keeps getting jumpier and jumpier. He seems so distant, and I don't know what to do."
"When did this start?"
"Last week, when I realized that Ellie was going to be six months old. Every day he just gets worse, Sam. It's starting to freak me out." Sam paused, knowing exactly what Dean must be thinking.
"Okay, I think I know what's going on," He admitted. "When is Ellie six months?"
"Tomorrow."
"Well, don't worry, Cas. Dean'll be back to normal after that."
"But WHY? What's wrong?"
"It's....It's complicated, Cas. I'll talk to him." The angel sighed.
"Can't you just tell me what's wrong with my husband?"
".....No. I think Dean should be the one to tell you." Cas scowled.
"Well, thanks anyway."
"He'll be fine, Cas. I promise."
"If you say so." They hung up, and Cas set his phone down, turning to smile at his daughter.
"Who wants to make breakfast without blowing up the toaster again?" He asked. Ellie let out a shriek of delight.
*****
DREAM OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!! Aerosmith's signature voice echoed through the garage, and Dean quickly wiped the grease and oil off his hands before answering his phone.
"Sup Sammy?" He asked, giving the car he was working on a once over.
"Hey Dean." Sam replied. "How are you?"
"Fine." Dean raised an eyebrow. He and Sam talked all the time, but Sam's tone made it sound like he was building to some touchy emotional talk that Dean did NOT want to go through with.
"You need to take a chill pill."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, Cas called me this morning, and he's freaking out because you're acting weird."
"I'm not acting weird."
"Uh huh.So you're completely fine with the fact that Ellie will be six months old in two days?" Dean paused.
"Sam...."
"Dean, we killed Azazel, remember? Nothing is going to happen."
"You don't know that." Dean insisted. "Yeah, Azazel's gone, but that's not stopping some messed up demon from doing the same thing he did! Anyone could break in and-"
"Dean, anyone could break in at ANY time. You can't protect Ellie from everything."
"I can try."
"Well at least talk to Cas! He's worried, Dean, and he has no idea what's going on or how to help you."
"He wouldn't understand, Sammy. He wasn't there for that whole part of our lives."
"But if you explain it to him, he will understand. He loves you, Dean. He can tell when something's wrong."
Dean hesitated. How could he make Sam understand? This wasn't just about Azazel. When Sam was six months old, and the yellow eyed demon had broken in, he had destroyed their entire family. Sam became cursed, their mom died, and their dad.....
Well, the last thing Dean wanted was to be anything like John Winchester.
But now, Dean had his own family to worry about. He couldn't help but have the fear, the positively terrifying fear that someone would break in and hurt Ellie, and that Cas would somehow end up burning on the ceiling.
It was an idea that Dean couldn't shake off. But if he was prepared, then no one would get inside. After everything the Winchesters had been through, Dean refused to let anything happen to the small family he had built. He refused to watch the love of his life go up in flames.
And in order to prevent that, he had to watch Ellie like a hawk. At least until her six month birthday had passed. Then, Dean was confident, she would be okay, and all he had to worry about were average monsters attacking them.
"....Maybe," Dean said vaguely. Sam sighed.
"Then could you at least dial back the tenseness? Because Cas notices that type of thing, and he'll demand answers, Dean, and he'll get them." Dean smirked.
"Yeah, Cas is very persuasive."
".....Ew." Dean laughed.
"Alright, I'll try to chill out a little. But I really need to get back to work, and I'm sure you have stupid boring laws to read or something."
"It's not boring. Criminal Law is-" Dean hung up before his brother could bore him to sleep.
****
As Dean stepped into his house later that day, all thoughts of being calm went out his head. He couldn't help it. Just being there, watching Cas and Ellie, seeing them acting so innocent and sweet- it made Dean's fear of having it all ripped away that much more real.
"Hello Dean," Cas smiled at him. Ellie made a gleeful noise, reaching for the Winchester. Dean smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes as he crossed the room and picked up his daughter.
"Hello Ellie," He commented, kissing the top of her head. "Were you good for Cas today?" She shrieked, tugging at his shirt. Dean smirked and turned to his husband. "Hello angel," Cas kissed him, but still eyed his husband carefully, knowing that something still had Dean on edge.
"I made pie." The angel offered, and Dean gasped.
"Oh my god, you're the best."
"You should really stop using my father's name like that."
"Never- especially when it comes to pie."
"Pyyyyy!!!" Ellie cried out, mimicking the word.
"So close!" Dean told her. "PIIIIIIIE."
"IiiiiiiiE!" she screeched back.
"I'm warning you," Cas declared. "If her first word is pie, we're getting divorced."
"But pie!" Dean whined. Cas rolled his eyes.
Later that night, they ended up in Ellie's room, and Cas set the baby in her crib as Dean surveyed the room, checking the window to make sure it was locked.
An unreadable expression fell over Dean's face as his hand rested on the window lock, as if he were afraid it would unlock the second he removed his hand.
"Dean?" Cas asked, snapping Dean out of his trance. The Winchester turned, blinking.
"Sorry," he mumbled. "Just.... making sure the window's locked."
"You've checked that window four times today," Cas proclaimed. "It's still locked."
"I know.....just making sure." Cas frowned, shaking his head with a sigh.
"Okay." He offered, turning to the crib. "Goodnight Ellie." Ellie smiled up at him. Dean leaned over the crib, reaching out a hand so that Ellie could grab onto his fingers.
"Goodnight sweetie." He insisted as Cas shut off the light and they headed downstairs.
Cas flipped on the TV, eager to watch a show that wasn't made for children under a year old. Dean settled on the couch next to him, wrapping an arm around the angel as Cas leaned into him.
As the show continued, Dean found his thoughts wandering. Ellie would turn six months old at around three a.m. But if someone wanted to wait until she was six months old to attack her- would they hurt her tonight, after three, or tomorrow night, when she'd be six months old for the whole night?
Dean had no idea. He had no way to be sure, either, and that terrified him. He tensed slightly, and Cas wrapped his arms around him.
"You okay?" The angel asked, gazing up at him. Dean looked at him, mesmerized by Cas's blue eyes. The thought of something awful happening to him, maybe even that very night.....
"I'm fine." Dean whispered, holding Cas closer.
"....You know you can tell me anything, right Dean?"
"I know." Dean knew. He knew he should tell Cas everything right then and there, but them Cas would just try to calm him down, and insist that nothing bad was going to happen. And then he'd watch Dean like a hawk, just to make sure he didn't overreact in some way. That was not what Dean wanted. He wanted to protect his family, and he didn't want Cas to have to worry about that.
Cas waited, but he knew that Dean wasn't going to tell him anything voluntarily. Even after all these years, Dean Winchester had never quite gotten used to sharing what he was feeling, and Cas knew better then to push him. So he just snuggled closer to his husband and sighed contently.
"I love you." He declared. Dean smiled.
"I love you too, angel."
With every minute that ticked by, Cas swore that Dean was getting tenser and tenser. He looked like a wind up toy ready to snap by the time they turned off the TV and headed upstairs to go to bed.
Cas studied his husband as Dean changed into his pajamas, before finally deciding to ask.
"Is there anything you want to tell me?" He asked. Dean paused, his back turned to Cas as he stood in front of his dresser, shirtless.
"...Not yet." He replied. "But I will." Cas's frown deepened.
"Why can't you tell me now?" Dean shook his head.
"It's....It's complicated, Cas."
"Is there any way I could help?" Dean turned, looking at Cas. The angel who loved him so much, and just wanted to do everything that would make Dean happy. The Winchester fiddled with the shirt in his hands.
"Could you promise me something?" He asked.
"Of course." Cas insisted. "Anything."
"It's just... I'll admit that I'm not entirely myself right now, nor have I been all week, and I will tell you why, angel, I swear. But, for now? Could... could you just not question anything I do tonight, or tomorrow, or tomorrow night, and then I'll tell you everything after that?" Cas thought for a moment, watching Dean's face. The ex-hunter needed this, he knew. He needed to know that Cas would not interfere.
"Okay." He agreed. "But I expect a full explanation, mister."
"You'll get one." Dean promised, ditching the shirt in his hands and crawling into bed with Cas.
"Good." Cas smiled, leaning over and kissing him. Dean kissed him back, his arms wrapping around the angel as Cas's hands made their way into Dean's hair.
Later, as Cas lay with Dean wrapped around him, his husband glanced up at him.
"Can you promise me one more thing?" He asked.
"Anything," Cas said, slightly sleepy.
"Could you stay in bed tonight- no matter what you hear?" Cas blinked.
"But what if Ellie starts crying?"
"I'll get her."
"Okay." Cas agreed, shutting his eyes. "Goodnight Dean."
"Night, Cas."
******
It was pitch dark out when Cas opened his eyes. The angel sighed, assuming it was still late at night. He frowned suddenly, noting that Dean's arms had disappeared. Cas rolled over, reaching out, but all he was met with was an empty space. Dean was gone.
Cas blinked, trying to scan the darkness.
"Dean?" He asked softly, rubbing his eyes. There was no response. The angel paused, remembering what Dean had made him promise.
No getting out of bed. No questioning what Dean was up to.
But, then again, when had any Winchester ever kept a promise? Cas got up, and looked out the window at the driveway.
The precious Impala was still there, so Dean had to still be in the house.
Cas sighed, knowing that Dean would only get mad if he went looking for him. Reluctantly, the angel climbed back into bed, his mind clouded with the possibilities of what his husband was up to.
****
Dean sat in a chair in Ellie's room, watching as the baby slept peacefully, snoring slightly. His gaze shifted from her to the window, moonlight barely illuminating the dark room.
All seemed well, but that didn't stop Dean from being on high alert, a pistol in his hand that was loaded with the same bullets they put in the Colt.
If anything could stop something from hurting Ellie, it was probably those bullets.
Dean had slipped out of his own room at midnight, too worried to sleep. He knew Cas would probably wake up, and that he'd get worried after noting that Dean was not beside him. But that was a risk Dean had to take.
It was better for Cas to be a little angry at him then for him to be burning on the ceiling.
The rest of the night passed incident free, and at 7:00, Dean decided that it was okay to put his weapon away.
He walked downstairs with a sigh, only to see Cas sitting in their kitchen, sipping coffee and looking at him like a parent who had just caught their child sneaking back into the house.
"Good morning Dean," The angel offered. Dean sighed, already knowing that Cas was irritated, if not fully pissed off at him.
"Morning, Cas." He replied, heading for the coffee maker. While the Winchester had plenty experience with not sleeping, it didn't make functioning all day on no energy any easier. Coffee was a necessity.
"So," Cas set down his coffee. "Am I allowed to ask where you were last night?"
"Cas-"
"Because I know you were home," He went on. "And I know you're totally freaking out over something I can't ask about."
"Angel, I promise-"
"Yeah, I know." Cas sighed. "You'll tell me everything later." Dean fought back a wince, realization striking through him. Cas wasn't mad at him- he was hurt. Hurt that Dean wouldn't trust him with whatever was going on. "Just don't get hurt, okay?" Cas pleaded.
"I won't." Dean insisted. "...I'm sorry."
"I know." A cry shot through the baby monitor, signalling that Ellie was awake for the day. Dean practically jumped at the sound, earning him a quizzical look from Cas.
The rest of the day passed smoothly in Dean's eyes, although Cas was still watching him carefully. Dean had taken the day off from the garage, so he stayed home to play with Ellie, and help Cas bake a small cake for Ellie's six month birthday.
But Cas noted all the things that Dean didn't realize he was doing. Checking that every window in the house was locked, making sure all electronic things were safe and not in risk of catching fire in some way, staring off into space for minutes at a time, watching Ellie's every move as if the baby would disappear any second.
That night, Cas pretended to go to sleep, shutting his eyes and listening intently to Dean. A few minutes passed before Dean thought the angel was asleep, and he carefully slid away, leaving the room.
Cas sighed. Dean better have a great explanation for his sneaking.
****
Dean stayed in Ellie's room all night, gun at the ready. But, still, nothing came. The wind barely even howled.
Nothing, and no one dared to enter Ellie's room.
As the sun came up that morning, a certain dread lifted from Dean's shoulders, the tenseness and anxiety of his fear leaving. After putting away the gun, Dean went back to his room, crawling back into bed, and wrapped his arms around Cas, breathing in the angel's familiar scent with a surprising amount of relief.
"Can you explain now?" Cas whispered.
"I thought you were asleep." Dean offered.
"As if I'd sleep, knowing that my husband is up to something." Dean sighed, leaning closer to Cas.
"When Sammy was six months old, Azazal broke into our house, cursing him, and killing my mom. My whole world changed that day, Cas- my whole family got torn apart."
"I know."
"So, when you said that Ellie was going to be six months old, all I could think of was that Azazel or some other yellow eyed demon was going to break in and hurt her, and that you'd go see what was wrong, and end up burning on the ceiling too. And I.... I couldn't get that out of my head, Cas. The idea of something hurting you and Ellie- it ate away at me, and I thought that if I was ready, and prepared for something to happen, then I could stop it."
"But Azazel is gone. There's no one to stop."
"I know, but that wouldn't stop some random demon from copying what Azazel did."
"So you got more nervous every day, because every day brought you closer to the night that you thought might destroy your family."
"Exactly. And I refused to let that happen."
"So you checked the windows, and watched Ellie closely- but where did you go at night? And why the promises?"
"I went to Ellie's room at night, with a gun in my hands, just in case. If something had come, I was going to kill it before it hurt her. And I didn't want you to worry, or think I was overreacting, so I didn't tell you anything. I made you promise to stay in bed all night, because if something did happen, I didn't want you to get caught in the middle and get hurt." Cas turned to face him.
"Nothing like that is going to happen to us, Dean." He swore.
"I know that now." Dean insisted. "I just had to be sure." Cas gave him a half smile.
"Well, it's all over now."
"I know." Cas kissed him, and Dean closed his eyes. He really needed to sleep.
"Oh, and Dean?" Cas added, as the ex-hunter slowly drifted towards sleep.
"Yeah?" He asked.
"If you EVER go into our daughter's room with a gun again, I'll stab you." Dean grinned.
"Love you too, angel."