Kissing Away Insecurities | ✓

By anamika_writes

955K 75.5K 8.7K

Separated by distance united by hearts. But what happens when time leaves insecurities etched on hearts? A c... More

Prelude
Chapter 1 - Her Life
Chapter 2 - His Excitement
Chapter 3 - Incredulity
Chapter 4 - Restless Eyes
Chapter 5 - Bewildering Changes
Chapter 6 - Hand In Hand
Chapter 7 - Little Perfections
Chapter 8- Another Surprise ?
Chapter 9 - On Her Mind, In His Heart
Chapter 10 - What Hearts Hold
Chapter 11 - Away Or Close?
Chapter 12 - The Pang In Heart
Chapter 13 - Still In Love
Chapter 14 - Searching For Remedy
Chapter 15 - Heartache.
Chapter 16 - His Battles
Chapter 17 - Disobedient Desires
Chapter 18 - Love Is Happiness
Chapter 19 - A Lot In Love
Chapter 20 - Still Falling For You
Chapter 21 - Burning In Your Desire
Chapter 22 - Love Me Like You Do
Chapter 23 - Their Paradise
Chapter 24 - Love Is Still There
Chapter 25 - Heartfelt Kisses
Chapter 26 - Heart Knows
Chapter 27 - Onset Of The Storm
Chapter 28 - Pouring Pain
Chapter 29 - Kissing Away The Pain
Chapter 30 - Love Means Eternity
Chapter 31- Let Me Love You
Chapter 32 - Serendipity
Chapter 33 - In A Family
Chapter 34 - Love Is Crazy
Chapter 35 - Can't Love You Enough
Chapter 36 - Spoilt Plans
Chapter 37 - Togetherness
Chapter 38 - Seed Of Jealousy
Chapter 39 - Dejected
Chapter 40 - Tumultuous Outburst
Chapter 41 - A Day Without Her
Chapter 42 - Won't Give Up
Chapter 43 - Stubborn Hearts
Chapter 45- Holding On To You
Chapter 46 - Insatiable Need
Chapter 47 - Being A Couple
Chapter 48 - Stubborn Insecurity
Chapter 49 - Pushing Away The Anger
Chapter 50 - L O V E
Chapter 51 - Understanding Unspoken
Chapter 52 - Imperfectly Perfect
Chapter 53 - Celebrating Love
Chapter 54 - Beyond The Insecurities
Last Part & Epilogue
#1.1 - Bonus Chapter - "21 Questions"
#1.2 - Bonus Chapter - "21 Questions"
Reader's Review & Reader's Journey
"Quotes From The Book"
Feedback & Fun
Reader's Journey
Readers' Digest
Other Books
Author's Note

Chapter 44 - Longing

12.5K 1.2K 143
By anamika_writes


"Now, will you tell me what's on your mind?" He said wiping his hands with the tissue she gave him. 


"Hmm...We are going shopping." She replied as she started packing the covers and tiding up the table.


"What?" He looked at her dumbfounded.


"Yes. Shopping. You need better clothes."


"Excuse me. Better clothes?" He looked at his shirt and blazer. " Do you see these? I have multiple of these perfect clothing. "


She looked up at him, giving a sugary smile. "Mr. Husband, I know that. But how many jeans? Just two. How many normal t-shirts? Four. How many pajama-kurtas ? Nil. "


"Anika. This makes me look handsome."


"Done?" She gave him a look. "Now, who told you that?"


"Your eyes!" He said without thinking.


She couldn't help but let that curve form on her face. Two things he just perfectly had his way with – words and her. "My eyes are liars. You look like an uncle. That's why kids call me aunty."


"What!" He exclaimed looking at her lamely.


"Exactly! Uncle type."


"Wait. You are saying I look like an uncle. That's why you want me to wear jeans and t-shirts?"


"Of course. "


"I don't believe this." He said throwing his hands in air. "And why pajama-kurta?"


"Because I like you in that!" Anika said getting up to throw away the covers.


"Hmm..interesting. But I have work."


"I am not buying that reason!"


"You've to. I need to finish a lot today."


She looked at him and knew he wasn't lying.


"Alright let's split the work. Tell me what I can do."


"Anika...its okay, you don't have to. We'll go shopping some other day."


"No. We are going today after we finish your work. "


"Anika."


"Shivaay."


"Fine!" He said giving up and walking to his table. He stacked up a pile. "Here you go, analyse these and form a report for each. Twelve months, so twelve files and thus there should be twelve reports." 


She stared at the files. Ouch! That was a lot of work."Okay. " she said settling on the chair placed opposite to his across the table.


He gave a far away look at her. She could be so adamant at times. He sat on his chair, staring at her. 


"Stop wasting your time looking at me. Start fast. We need to get out before two hours." She said opening the first file.


"Yes Ma'am!" He said sighing and looking at his laptop screen. He occasionally looked up to find her twirling her locks with the pen or her fingers. It was distracting. Minutes later she tied up her hair. He was quietly noticing, not making it obvious. He began gaping when she started biting her lips as she was jotting down some figures. She felt his gaze and looked up immediately. "Stop staring Shivaay."


"It's hard !" He said his eyes piercing into hers.


She gathered the files together and the notepad she had been scribbling on. "If I stay here, you are so not going to work. I will be out. Get your work done quickly. " 


"Wait. Why? Okay where are you going?" He spoke stupidly not wanting her to leave. 


"I will find a small place in this huge office. " she said walking out.


He sighed. This was a good decision. He focused his attention back onto the excel sheet. Now, he was dying to finish this and go out with her. 


* * *


Shivaay entered his room and placed the numerous shopping bags on the bed. God! He had a hard time with his bargaining wife. At the same time he loved every bit of her attention he got. She made him try so many shirts and kurtas. She also bought him a simple sherwani for the baby shower they were supposed to attend in a few days. Today was totally his day. She didn't buy a single thing for herself. The only thing that was bought for her were the bangles he loved. 

The candle light dinner at their favorite restaurant was the cherry on the cake. In short a day spent well.


Anika lay tiredly on the bed as soon as she entered. He shook his head looking at her. Why did women tire themselves so much for the sake of shopping!? 


He quietly picked up the packets and brought out the clothes and neatly kept them in the cupboard. She was so tired the least he could do. "Shivaay!" He heard her call.


"Yes Ma'am!"


She giggled, her eyes still closed. "Wear that pajama kurta, please."


"Hmm.." He said picking the black set. "Any more orders Milady?"


She giggled. "None right now!" 


He smiled walking to the bathroom. He wasn't really the man to follow his wife's orders neither was she that way. They were always more like friends. No one dominating, except the bed of course where he took it to be his duty to be dominating. Secret,  he knew she loved it. Her secrets were always safe with him. 


He stepped out to find her gone. Now where was she?


He went down looking for her assuming she'd gone down to refill the water jug or something. He met her at the stairs. "What's up with you today?" 


"Nothing."


"I thought you were tired and sleepy?"


"Non I was just relaxing. Now I feel much better. I can see a movie till the end!"


"Please. No. No. RomComs. No Action. No Thrillers. No SciFi. No movies. "


"Oh God relax. I just meant I can stay up for the movie's length "


"Now that's nice." He said placing his hands on her shoulder 


"But that doesn't mean, I am so energetic to match up to what you have in your thoughts."


"Anika.  " he said frowning. Great sex would have been the best way to climax the day!


"I have other plans though." She said sweetly.


He blinked. "Are you going to show me a lap dance or strip dance?" He said leaning over her slightly. She was standing facing him in a lower step than him.


"Sick Shivaay. " she said getting his hands off her. 


"What!"


"Pervert!" She said stepping aside and walking up.


"All your fault wifey!" He turned.


"Excuse me. Care to explain?" She turned back at him with hand on her hip. 


"Who asked you to be so irresistibly sexy?"


She rolled her eyes. Usual flirting. She smiled the moment she turned. She actually liked it when he made remarks like that. She wouldn't show, otherwise the man would dance on her head. 


"I can see that smile, Darling."


"I am not smiling!" She said aloud smiling and walking towards the room.


"Liar!" He called out. 


* * *


Shivaay had been waiting for her to step out of the washroom. He was wondering what was on her mind. He couldn't take his eyes off her when she stepped out. Not because she was looking seductively gorgeous. But because she looked like the cutest woman alive. Dressed in loose shorts that ended right at her knee, baggy pinkish tee with loose half sleeves and her hair braided. Jeez! She was so cute. He wanted to hug her right away and lift her in his arms and twirl her. God keep mercy. She brought out different sides of him, ones he never knew existed. She had thought him how a man could love a woman in different ways. 


She walked up to him, raising her brows. 

"You look so..cute."


She grinned cheekily. "Thank God you spared the word sexy."


He pulled her for a bear hug. 


"Shivaay! "She  said breaking the hug before he could pull her on the bed.


" What's your problem? " he looked annoyed.


"Aww..baby is annoyed. So cute!" She pulled his cheeks.


"Baby?" He looked at her with displeasure.


"Why? Have you seen your face. Reminds me of Raunak!"


"Oh that boy. He has my wife's thoughts all to himself!" He made a sad animated face.


"Cute!" She said kissing his cheek.


"Just because we don't have a baby, so you treating me like one huh?"


"God. Relax. Darling." She stressed on the last word.


"Better. I was just going to suggest we make babies." He said looking at her with desirous eyes.


"Full stop. We've discussed this and I think we both need time with each other. " she spoke lovingly raking her fingers through his hair.


"Hmm..I love this."


"My hands playing with your hair?"


"No. Your entire attention all for me. " he confessed.


She kissed his forehead. "I am all for you !" She pulled his face closer to her chest while his hands wrapped her so perfectly. She could feel his insecurity. The letter had inflicted hurt. But it was the truth. There was no way out running from the truth. She was glad he read that. She'd stopped feeling guilty. There was nothing hidden from him. Nothing. 


"Come." She said holding his hand. She led him to the poolside. He noted the mattress laid out with cushions against the wall. There was a pinkish blanket. He looked at her. She simply pulled him. "We are sleeping here tonight."


"Anika..."


"Wait...we are going to talk tonight!"


"What?" He asked baffled.


"Technically, you are going to. You spent more than one entire year without me. " she pulled him down beside her on the mattress. "And Mr. I need details."


"Anika. Are you serious?" He said looking about. 


"Why? Isn't it romantic."


"Very. But, The talking part. You really want to talk?"


"Yes. I need details from you. "


He lay back defeated. "There isn't anything worth telling. I had very boring life. "


She stared at him. He looked so handsome in that pajama-kurta. She scooted closer and held his hand, rolling up his sleeves. He stared at her. He could see how madly in love she was with him. It made him happy. Because he was just as madly in love with her.


She leaned on his chest playing with his hands.


"I am sorry Shivaay. I was so selfish. I never tried to reason or understand what your life was away from home. Just got so deprived of you, your care, your presence, your love that all I could see was me and my incomplete life. Never realised you were incomplete too. " she softly ended kissing his hand. She couldn't sum up the courage to look at him. She would cry and then he would cry and then the moment would be spoilt. He would never talk then.


"I missed you..." His soft voice trailed as he rubbed her arms. His gaze looking at the rippling water on the surface of the pool at a distance.


"I know."


He smiled.


"More when I saw cute couples. "


She smiled.


"More when I got on bed. I missed your warmth." He said pulling her closer.


"I missed fighting with you." He admitted honestly. She giggled.


"I missed being fed when I was late. Missed your taunts when I messed things up. Missed your touch when I cut my finger. Missed your breath on my eyes when something caused irritation in them. Missed waking up to your arms. Missed those walks with your endless chatter. Missed laughing so much. " he kept saying and she was looking up at his face. The expressions that crossed his face were so precious. They said everything. 


She wasn't the only one who longed for togetherness. He longed for it too! 


"Anika, one thing I have realised is, that I can be without anything but not you. But you know, there is this strange thing. You weren't with me and still your mere thought was enough to drive me. You live in me Anika. " he looked at her.


Her smile faded slightly. Why didn't she feel the same way? Why did she constantly need him by her side? Was her love weaker than his



Hey lovely people,

Have been busy with festivities and all, so excuse me for being irregular around. 

As usual waiting to hear from you.

-Anami!

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