March 2014
Freedom.
Define this with me for a moment. The freedom I am talking about isn't the one justified for America, or a dictionary definition. I'm talking about the feeling of freedom, that rush of empowerment and it courses through your body. You can feel it spiraling all around inside of it you, vining its way around every fiber. Until it reaches your heart, completely engulfing it and squeezing it so tight, telling you to just let it out. Burst threw every pore until you have this moment of complete calm and relaxation that you never imagined feeling.
Judgement.
One of the most dangerous elements of human the human mind. It's a split second or it's an be a matter of years. Judgement comes in all different forms, the one I talk about is the one that has to be a split second decision. That moment of sheer panic and fear. It's a darkness that surrounds everything around you with just the two answer swirling around. The world just seems to come to a stand still, knowing if you don't make the right choice; you will die. It's a fear that encases every atom in your body; but helps you pick what could save your life.
Patience
The one we call a virtue. The simplicity of being at peace with whatever is happening around you. The one thing that could take you from blood thirsty tiger to a happy teddy bear in a split second. The patience I'm talking about is the tunnel. That moment when something seems so much further away, but it's really in front of. Aching and gasping to reach the end but never quite getting there, you have the urge to give up or slow down. Then patience sets in, and you push and push and break through the wall blocking you. Chipping away but then smashing you entire body through it, making it to the end.
One race, can be filled with all of this. Never all at once.
The race is always filled with excitement. New people and the same old people, all together in one place, for the same prize. Which makes a new challenge for the people putting the races together. Generally, we have the same starting line and the same finish line, but the course always changes. We start way out in the country side and just a mile into the city limits. Drivers are smart, that's why the course always has to change so no one can figure it out. No challenge is a real challenge unless every event is different. I was one of the very smart racers, but if I don't get up; I'm going to miss the next one.
"Peter!" Joey yelled up to me from the downstairs, even though he has been here for a while yelling at me constantly to get me moving. "Peter get down here before I come up there! You don't want to know what happens when I come up there." I rolled my eyes, if I knew anything about Joey. He wouldn't mess with a racer even if his life depended on it.
He understands that racing is a specific craft. Though Joey hasn't raced in a long time; we both fixed the car up that I use now. She was a real piece of work when we first got her together, but in the end she was perfect. Racing has been in both of our bloods since diapers. I would always play with hot wheels on race tracks and always try to find new ways to make my car faster than everyone else's cars.
Just a small obsession.
Okay maybe not quite as small as you think. I put bottle rockets on hot wheel to see how fast I could make them go. Even ask Joey he was right there with me. Given that I was in seventh grade though I was willing to do anything to make a car go fast. Joey has been my friend for about maybe five years now. We became friends because he was and awkward kid in shop class that everyone picked on for being black. I saw him as just another person and we have been friends ever since.
"Oh lighten up Joey, we aren't going to be late and it's not like we have a time limit on when we have to be there." I slipped on my jean jacket, coming down the stairs patting him on the back and scooping up the keys into my pocket. "Besides, we can make it there in seconds if we wanted to anyways."
Just then out of the corner of my eye I could see another figure appear in the door way. Turning and looking at them, it was just Frank. Frank I've known for about three years now. He knows everything about an engine. His father was collector of old cars from the 60's, 70's, and 80's. His father was also very wealthy and collected cars from this generation. He knew how to rebuild all kinds of cars, so he taught everything to Frank about every engine. So he pretty much could help us out of any dilemma. He rebuilds all of the engines; he can spot the problem just by looking at the engine without digging into it. He's fixed all of the cars we raced with, and most of the time with no help.
"Frank will you please tell him that we need to get going and he needs to stop keeping his head in the clouds." Joey spoke up folding his arms frustrated. I rolled my eyes at him once again.
"He's actually right Peter if we want to get a good run in before cops start getting suspicious we should head out now. I also want to check your engine again, check your fuel level, tires, breaks-"
"Yes Frank I know the drill we will go over everything when we get there!" I cut him off, "Now let's go since you both are making such a sissy fit over it" I said and pushed them both to the garage door outside.
"If I was a sissy I wouldn't be standing here Peter." Joey spoke up.
"Yes but if you weren't a sissy you wouldn't be making such a big deal about being late like a little sissy would." I said as frank laughed afterward as we walked to the garage door. I could see out of the corner of my eye Joey being ridiculous and throwing a little fit and muttering to himself random things about me being a sissy.
I bent down grabbing the handle on the garage door, gripping it tight and throwing it up to open the garage and revealing the car we had spent so much time rebuilding time and time again for these races. We called her Betty because not did she not just win us a lot of races but Frank also liked the name Betty. So that is now the license plate name.
He decided to make it special by adding fake studs around the edges of the plate also. Joey and I couldn't really fight him on it because he spent to most time on the inside of the car then the rest of us had. Betty was jet black and had green racing stripes running up the hood and the back of the car.
"Just how we left her last night boys, and also are Benny and Mike going to be there?" I asked because we needed Mike for the bet making and racing routes.
"Yeah I know Mike with be there but I'm not quite sure about Benny. You know Benny the best though I figured you would know. If I was to make a guess Benny wouldn't miss any of your races for the world." Frank spoke and scratched the back of his neck.
Yes I did know Benny the best. He was older than me by about 4 years. I met him when I was a rookie here and he took me in, taught me everything I know now. Benny was sort of like a big brother type but he had a big ego and loved money now more than the race. This was also sad because he loved the race, and it was what he lived and breathed until one race he won.
He got huge cash reward and the money just started consuming him after that. It slowly became nothing about the passion of racing anymore for Benny, now all he sees are prizes. He used to race a lot but then he started let other people do it for him. He's never has missed one of my races and we are close he is like a big brother and so it means a lot. Even though he might just try to convince the money out of me, it'd not like I care much for it anyways.
"Thank god my baby is okay." Frank spoke engulfing the front of the car, acting as if she was real in any sense. "I'm glad Peter here didn't break you."
I rolled my eyes walking over and patting him on the back while he still stayed in that position for a moment. "I'm pretty sure this is my baby since I paid for her." I spoke and popping open the door and climbing in side closing the door behind me; cranking open the window so I could still talk to the both of them. "And why on earth would I ever destroy a car that races so well?"
"Well..." Frank paused for a moment, "you drive like a maniac all of the time, I wouldn't be surprised." He did have a point but I drove like that because I like it. He knew I liked it but he just believed I was insane, but anyone who races has to be somewhat crazy.
"Okay boys let's get going Benny and Mike are waiting." Joey spoke up, and walked over and slapped the back side of Franks head making me laugh under my breath as joey jumped forward before frank could hit him, losing his balance slightly.
Frank was about the push him back but retreated and just decided to follow him in the car. Joey popped the seat forward so he climbed in the back followed by Frank who pushed the seat back into place and took the passenger. I put the keys into the ignition and started the ignition. Slowly with a slight pause while the engine started she hummed to life, it was a pleasant groan of the car as it sat idling in the garage.
For a moment I sat there just listening to the sound of the engine. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath for a moment, just holding onto this moment. The feel of being behind the wheel is amazing just sitting and hearing the engine. It's like you and car are both in sync and you both know what you are ready to do. I opened my eyes again and stepped on the peddle slowly creepy out of the garage before turning onto the road. Then I stepped on is faster and bolting out of the neighborhood.
***
We slowly pulled into the parking lot of the abandon old police station. This is where the new racing meet up is, for the next couple of nights at least. Each racer usually had some sort of posy with them. Most of them had two to three guys and four girls. I wasn't much about that life. Girls were like a distraction, they mess with your head during the race. No one needs that.
Especially how dangerous this sport can become, but everyone has their own way to win I guess. I kept trying to look past people if I could find mike or Benny anywhere. I finally spotted Mike waving his arms near the end of the lines. I made the car go a bit faster till I got to the spot and slowly turned and put the car in park. All three of us stepped out of the car.
"It's about time you guys arrived!" Mike shouted from the other side of the car. I closed the door behind me.
"Hey talk to Frank he was the one who was obsessing over the car again because I didn't destroy it!" I said pointed at Frank. Frank gave me a slight glare. All I could do was shrug because it wasn't completely untrue. He stayed silent for a moment before he cleared his throat moving past me bumping my shoulder.
"Oh I'm sorry that I don't always trust fast cars with a crazy racer." Frank protested; waving his hands around to help move his point along. Stepping out of the car next was Joey who hit Frank on the back of the head; for the second time that day.
"Oh calm down Frank we made it hear in one piece didn't we?" Joey spoke pushing slightly to the left and patting the hood on the car before sliding on it and sitting in a relaxed position.
It made Mike cringe at the sight. Mike and I did the paint work on the car. She was pretty beat up and had a od grungy rusty look about her. Very faded brown color, with hints of what used to be left of what the paint actually was. Totally worth all those hour deciding what we wanted her to look like.
I remember it like yesterday too. We wanted our car to look cool originally; we decided to fix her up first before we decided on any paint job. Eventually after months of working we decided we just wanted it simple. We wanted her to have flames beforehand; And be purple ombré to blue. We had no idea what we were thinking then. She looks ten times better the way we have her now. We probably would have been laughed off the track if we had went the original way. In my own thought I heard my name come up in the back and forth bickering between the boys.
"We all know Peter is the best driver out of anyone else anyways!" Mike stepped in and pointed out and leaned up against the front of the car and I stood next to him as Frank stood in front of both of us, while Joey was still in his relaxed position on the hood. "Besides this is a mustang. Driving mustangs is in his blood!"
"That's right it is." A voice came from behind Frank. Frank departed to the left as Benny came up and clapped hands and bumped fist with Mike and doing the same when he moved over to me. Benny looked in a good mood tonight he must have found a good racing bet or something among those lines. I could see the glint of hope in his eyes.
"Benny! Where did you disappear off too this time?" I spoke up clapping my hand on his shoulder.
"Oh you know just finding you some good competition for tonight." He said and patted my shoulder in reassurance. Joey slid off the hood standing up very quickly.
"Oh what rookie has to go up against him tonight?" Joey asked almost a little too excited, and rubbing his hands together. He passed around and looked among the other groups of cars, rookies were usually at the back because they were usually late to the party.
"We actually have a four person race tonight. You are up against-" he paused for a moment turned around and pointed to one person. "Cameron Birch," he paused again, he pointed to a car just a few down from us I could see a guy maybe in his thirties standing with three women around him and a cigarette hang out of his mouth whispering something to the other girls. Pointing in the direction of our car but we tried not to stare.
"Gary Rolls," He paused once again to point to the rookie end to see a guy with a girl who was wearing questionable short shorts; among with a top that showed off a little more than he or anyone would want to see. She was hanging all over him and he didn't seem to mind really he seemed very into her but the boys around where not amused with the distraction she caused for him.
Benny was silent, he looked almost questionable about whether or not he should tell me the last name on the list. I already knew though. Everyone got quiet at the mention of one name. He didn't even need to say the same. My eyes widened but I didn't react but I could feel my heart pick up. Benny scratched the back of his neck taking a deep breath his eyes filled with concern about all of this. I decided to speak up.
"Jay Clark."
"Wait we are racing Jay Clark tonight? Why that douche bag?" Mike asked angrily. All of the boys except me had an angry look on his face, no one liked him. He was a cocky, rich, snobby, party boy who didn't respect the race at all. Somehow he always knew how to bump people of the road without even touching them and somehow could always or almost win.
"I didn't ask, he volunteered." Benny responded and looked at me with a plain but serious look, "You don't have to race him Peter. I can tell him no and find someone else-"
I rose my hand in protest and it cut him off. "No of course I will, if he wants to race then... Let's race." I said even though I wasn't quite sure of my own answer. I needed to make them believe I was sure. Yes Jay Clark was not an ideal challenge but, for one night it's got to be a small money prize. What harm could be done.
Frank then stepped in front of me with an intense look across his face, "Peter, don't be crazy. Jay Clark is dangerous. I've seen what he has done."
"Yeah man," Mike spoke up, "I mean I have all of my faith in your ability but I don't want to take the risk that he could throw you off the road. You could seriously get hurt; I mean you have seen the guys he's taken out and you know what they looked like afterwards. Don't take the risk, you and him both the youngest racers here but still, don't take the risk even if you think you have all of the power and road against him."
I cut him off before he could continue, "I know the risk, and I know what I'm getting into here. Just trust me, if I feel like something might happen I'll pull back. I promise." I said and patted them both on the shoulder. I wasn't even sure in myself if I should do this. I know if I back out then I would be labeled as too scared, but I'm not. I know what could happen. We are both the two youngest racers here. We both have one our fair share of races now. Nothing like a new challenge though.
"The race starts by the front of the building, and it ends at the exit by the freeway just after you pass the exit and enter onto that road that's leads to the farmstead." Benny said and patted my back before walking away to go talk to someone else. I took a few deep breaths trying to calm my mind. Also try to slow my heart rate and less my chances of panic. It will help because I need to be able to get to the starting line without a shock. No fears no doubts. Before I was about to get into the car a voice behind me rose.
"Ronan!"
Of course now was the time when god wanted to screw with me. Why am I not surprised.
"Get out of here Clark. We don't need crap right now." Joey spoke up I could feel his body and Franks shielding mine from behind me. "So just turn your no good, party boy ass around and go back to your stupid upper class jock posy, because we don't give a-"
"Joey." I spoke up, cutting him off. I could defend myself. I stepped between Joey and Frank standing in front of them and face to face with jerk himself. Jay. "What do you want Clark?"
He said nothing he just passed us and began to circle our car, all of our eyes followed him as he walked around the car. Looking into the interior and observing the paint job on the outside. I could feel the pulsing anger vibrating off of Frank. He did not like this silence one bit. Neither did I. Jay placed himself in front of the car looking at it, almost admiring it with a hint of jealousy in his eye. He turned on his heal and looked at me. A smug smile suddenly plastered across his face.
'It's a shame; it's a very beautiful car. Too bad it will be a pile of nothing when I'm done with it." Frank lunged at Jay after his words tumbled out of his mouth like venom. Joey and I quickly restrained him from getting any closer to Jay. Jay had not even flinched he stood there with that stupid smug smile looking right at me. "See you on the track Ronan."
Frank was still straining between me and Joey. We released him and he grunted with anger, he paced back fourth. He came up in my face and his eyes pleaded don't do this but his voice said. "Win this so I can go kick him in the ass." Before I had anytime to respond Mike pulled up with his truck and Benny in the passenger's side seat. Frank and Joey swiveled around and jumped inside of the truck bed and banged against the side and Mike took off saluting me on there way.
******
My mustang just kept humming and I kept praying in my mind to help me at least make it through the whole race and I knew I was crazy for doing this but I don't have a choice now. I'm in the hug mess of all of it now. I then heard another car pull up next to mine. I turned my head to see Jay Clark sitting there starring at the back of the car in front of him. Dick.
It was almost as he had heard my thoughts; he turned his head to me with a smug look on his face. I raved my engine frustration a little bit. I closed my eyes, and just tried to concentrate and not to bother with him. He was just another racer. Nothing more. His smugness will get him nowhere. I then heard the first horn go off telling us to get ready. I opened my eyes again and focused on the road. I revved my engine again. It felt like slow-motion for a moment as the second horn went off signaling us to go and all four of us stepped on the pedal.
******
I took a long breath and smiled, I looked in my rear view mirror to looked at Jay. It was slow going for a while but eventually I had passed Jay and another guy that kept himself in front of Jay. It's Karma Jay, and you will never learn. The guy was not going to let Jay in front of him anytime soon.
He was definitely not happy and was trying creep a way between me and the guy in second but one of us would veer in front of him. He knows what can happen if he tries to back bump though. He knows he could get crushed also. We then took a U turn and the guy in second suddenly slowed and I was able to rush into second place and get in front of him.
I watched the road also as I watched both of them. He shifted gears again to try to gain on the guy and first to get along side of him. When the world suddenly came into a slow motion picture in my mind. I watched as I saw Jay had grabbed his wheel and swerved hard into the side of the other guy's car. The world still in slow motion the other guys car spun out of control and flipped onto its side and then flipped upside down. My eyes widened at the sight of what I was seeing.
The world came back into full motion again and then I was almost going off track too another hard left. No one had ever really watched what Jay did on the road other than the ones who raced with him. No one had ever seen his car hurt at all when he would make it to the finish line.
Somehow though the people he raced had scratches. He didn't play fair. He only played to win. But that wasn't going to happen tonight as I shifted gears and sped up quickly pulling next to the guy in first and pressing on the pedal going faster this stretch of road was just two miles of straight road till the end. I shifted my gears down and then quickly shifted them up again and pressing on the pedal as much as I could. I slowly watched as I pulled from second to first and veered my car in front of his. I looked at the guy and waved goodbye. Before smiling and thanking the world.
"Woo! Come on baby we got this! One mile left let's do this!" I yelled before quickly speeding up faster. Even though this car was old, it could still go as fast as she did in the old days any day. I watched in the rear again to see far behind me Jay and the last guy. Jay then quickly pulled in front of him. I knew that this was going to be the longest last mile. It was me and him.
I knew what he could do but if I could just keep far enough ahead of him we could win without a scratch. I could see from here the end of the line and all of the people and the light it was so far and yet so close at the same time. I pushed the pedal down farther to go fast but Jay was still close behind. I smiled as he was doing child's play stuff and try to swerve next to me; I then pulled in front of him. Every time he swerved I would just swerve in front of him. He was not going to come up next to me anytime tonight and he most certainly was not going to bump my rear.
I could see the finish line, the stretch of road suddenly seemed longer, I watched in my rear mirror to see jay pull to the side of me but he was fully to the side of me it was just his front. I was going to win this. I just knew it and I would be okay. I was so excited to wipe that filthy little smirk off of his face. Prove to him that crashing into other was not the right way to win.
It was the way to lose.
That actually having patience and waiting was the way of winning. A party boy who doesn't respect the sport does not deserve to win this time. As we moved closer and closer to the finish line, I was then seeing Jay swerve away from my car. I thought for a moment maybe, maybe he is just going to accept defeat. I knew I was wrong though.
I focused back on the road when suddenly I felt my grip with the car and the road go lose and felt a bump the to side end of the car. The car veered sharply to the right and I felt when it drove off the side barrier and flip. I knew, I was wrong, everything began spinning through the air as I saw Jay car drive past and my car fell to the earth with a crash on the side and I saw myself slowly losing consciousness and it began to tumble. Then there was only darkness.
I couldn't see, hear, or feel anything. Nothing but darkness. I tried moving but I felt that I couldn't, nothing in my body would work. Did I die? No I couldn't have, I was wrong and I should have known that he would do something like that. Jay was a cheater and a liar. I should have pulled out of this race. The boys where right. I should have just said I'm not going to race him and make up some really good excuse. I should have known that this could happen. Now I might not be able to make any of this up. I could smell the burning of fuel, I couldn't gain enough consciousness to focus on it though.
I suddenly started to see a slight blur, and I could smell the small hint of smoke. I tried moving my body but everything hurt so I just stayed still. So this is how I die huh? By fire. By a kid who thought cheating was winning, and was blinded by the win. I could hear small voices outside of the car. I turned my head slightly before the car door was ripped off and I could see a dark figure undoing the belt around me and taking both of my arms and dragging me away.
I could feel the cold ground under my back and I was pulled slowly across the pavement. I tried speaking before I saw a flash out yellow light come from where I was being dragged from and a bang that should have been louder. My vision was slowly coming back when the figure set me on the ground gently and was kneeling next to me.
"Peter? Peter can you hear me? Come on Peter?" I could barely hear the voice but I recognized it as Mike as his face came into view. I saw the relief come from his face as he started yelling for the other guys. "Get help! HURRY! Don't worry Peter you are going to be okay man help is coming just hold on! Stay with me!" he was panicking and was yelling such urgency it hurt my ears.
"Mike." I tried to speak but coughing up a lung in the process and it hurt like crazy because it burned inside my lungs to even breathe. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you."
"No need for any sorry's. You raced really well, you did awesome. You just need to stay awake for me okay? We don't need any dying here. I'm going to kill Jay! He's going to pay for all of this!" I cut his angry tone off and coughing again before I spoke quietly.
"I thought I could beat him, I was so close. He bumped me," I started coughing again and this time I felt a little blood come out of my mouth. "I should have listened to you guys and pulled out of the race." I felt myself slipping away, my voice was even more faint and Mike was becoming even more blurry this time.
"No no no no, come on Peter stay with me here help is almost here just stay alive okay? Where is help! Someone get some help please!" He was screaming as hard as he could but I knew I wasn't going to make it. I reached out and took his arm. He turned his attention back to me.
"Tell them I'm sorry and tell them that it was my fault, not theirs." I let go of his arm as I was slowly slipping away again I could still hear him but now I had no energy to speak only see and hear now. Before I went completely out I could see and ambulance and fire truck pull up next to Mike and paramedics running out. Before my vision went black I could see a tear slowly falling down Mike's cheek. Then there was nothing once again.
*******
I took a deep breath and found myself confused was I living just not seeing anything? Had I gone blind? How can I breath was I in heaven or was I going to heaven? I was lost, should I try opening my eyes? Yeah, let's try that. I tried lifting my lids open and slowly a dim room came into view. I blink a view times trying to clear my vision more trying to focus on what this room is, I squinted my eyes to see Frank, Mike, and Joey sitting chairs in front of what was a bed, that I was laid in. I could see a football game buzzing from the T.V. I couldn't help but smile; this is what we boys would always do on Sundays. Wait what day was it? How long was I even out for? How long has it been? They must be waiting for me or something.
"You didn't think I wouldn't be here for football on Sundays did you?" I spoke in a raspy voice sitting up better in the bed. Wincing holding my ribs adjusting how I sat. I watched as all of their heads tuned around with beaming eyes. I couldn't help but smile. "I mean come on our team is playing I have to watch at least."
They stood up from their chairs to give him some sort of pat on the back or what Joey did was give me a fist bump. He couldn't help smile seeing all of them, after all it's been darkness for what seems like a day. He probably should see how long he was out for.
"Don't ever go out like that ever again." Mike spoke up and patting me on the shoulder. "We saw the whole thing you were right next to the finish line. I think for a moment my heart stopped."
"Yeah you scared the crap out of every single one of us." Joey spoke up.
"Jay is going to pay for ever bumping you. He's going to get what is coming to him." Frank said and started to crack his knuckles. I smiled but I knew it was no use. I remember what he did to the other guy. I might have been worse but now I'm a victim. I know what he would do to win. It would be no use anyway. Jay was rich, he probably already paid everyone off who was there to keep their mouths shut about what happened.
"Guys what day is it?" I asked my voice still scratchy and I have to cough to help clear it out. I looked at them and they shifted eyes between each other. I knew something was wrong. "How long a few days a week?"
Mike cleared his throat before he spoke, "Peter you were out for three weeks." He shuffled in his place almost nervous to how I would react to that kind of time frame. Three weeks. It could not have been that long, could it?
"Three damn weeks!" I shouted and then regretting it for it hurt a lot, "How was I out for three weeks, it only felt like a day."
"You were in really bad shape man, you had internal bleeding, you had a concussion, broken leg, dislocated shoulder, broken wrist, and you have a few broken ribs. You have a huge gash in your shoulder; it's mostly healed now but still. You were in terrible shape man. The doctor told us he wasn't sure when you would wake up." Frank explained. The thing was I hadn't noticed the cast on my wrist or leg. I looked down at my body and I had a wrap all the way around my chest and I had a slowly healing shoulder with stitches holding it together. I hadn't even noticed any of it; I guess I was just so happy to see everyone.
"You're lucky to still even be alive." Mike said with a sincere look on his face.
"Look on the bright side you only have to live with that cast for three more weeks! All the girls at school will be all over you also." Joey smiled trying to make this situation better in some way, and it wasn't working.
I sat there thinking for a moment. I swear it felt like only a day. "Where is Benny?"
"Benny hasn't had the courage to come see you," Frank said, "he was too emotionally distraught to come and see how you looked. He was pretty messed up when he saw your car tumbling across the road Peter. He couldn't move when your car stopped."
"Yeah after we finally got you into the ambulance he was just kneeling in the same spot he was standing in just staring at the car. When he got him back home he was just a mess." Joey added.
"He'll be happy to know you woke up! I'll go get the doctor and then go and call him." Frank said and quickly jogged out of the room.
"Don't worry buddy, and besides think about this. Once you get all of these bandages and all the crap off and you get your full strength you will be able to be back on the road in no time!" Mike said and patted me on the shoulder.
"Yeah," I spoke and wasn't really sure in my voice, "I mean it will probably be hard but I guess I could start driving again."
"There's the Peter I know. Don't worry we can just take baby steps" Joey smiled.
Just then Frank walked into the room with the doctor. The doctor walked over to my bed and picked up a chart that was on the end. He flipped through a couple of papers on the clip board.
"Okay Mr. Ronan how are you feeling?" The doctor asked.
"I'm feeling good except for in my shoulder." I responded, reaching up and rubbing it slightly.
"Yes well any pain is going to be normal for your condition. Your vitals are good and your heart rate has regulated from what it looks like. I would say you could go home today if you would wish. You would just have to come back in about two weeks to get your stitches removed and so we can check to see how you are healing. You don't have to leave today-" I felt bad but I cut him off and gave him a warm smile.
"I would like to go home please."
"Okay great I'll get someone to bring you a wheel chair. Also I'm going to send home these pain medicines with you there will be instructions on the bottles when to take them. Also what to take them with, I hope you will be feeling better, and I will see you soon Mr. Kent." He smiled and handed me a slip of paper and left the room. A few moments later a nurse walked in with a wheel chair and which she proceeded to help me sit down in.
Mike took control of the wheel chair from her proceeded to wheel me down to the front desk. Another nurse handed me some paperwork to fill out and I also she gave me a bag which was filled with about five different pill bottles. My head throbbed a little bit thinking about how long these next couple of weeks of recovery were going to be. There was one thing I didn't want the boys to know though.
Thinking about it, I had no urge to race.
I didn't want to tell them that now though. I was scared how they would react to me telling them. The thought of a car going over 50 is terrifying me right now. I couldn't stand the look of disappointment on all of their faces if I told anyone of them that I was too afraid to be in a car.
I'll tell them after I recover a little. Racing was something I loved. I played with racing cars when I was little. I started racing as soon as I could drive. I played street racing games growing up it was something I had loved so much and racing I believe is what I was born to do in this world. I remember the first time I felt a real rush from it and how amazing it was.
I remember the first time I won a street race. I remember the feeling of turning a corner so fast without losing control of the car. Racing was the thing I loved more than anything else, and now it's the one thing that terrifies me the most out of anything in this world. And I could not stand the pain of watching the disappointment run across the boys faces when I say 'I'm too afraid too drive.' That terrified me even more.
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Hey guys this is my first chapter for my first story on here and I hope you all enjoy it :) please comment and I will have the next chapter that will be up soon!