Declan's POV
My heart is pounding so hard right now. I can't believe I just sent that. That poem means the world to me. I wish I could have sent the full poem but it's a bit long. Hopefully he will go and read the rest, maybe he already knows it? He does seem very knowledgeable in all things literature. I can feel my face burning as I think of him. I need to pull myself together.
"Who is this mystery girl Dex?" Reggie asks. I look up at him and shake my head.
"That is absolutely none of your business," I say.
"Fine keep her a mystery, but when you're done with her can I have a go?" Albert asks. I narrow my eyes at him. If only he knew it's actually a boy I'm talking to. What would they say if they knew.
"Not every girl wants to fuck you Albert," Callum says. I smirk and top up my tea.
"Read us some poetry Dex," Reggie says. I smile at him and I can't help but wonder about him. He is the nicest in our group, he is soft and kind. Though he is not my type at all, could it be possible? Could he be gay too? It seems very unlikely that I would be the only one. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I know it is his reply. I decide to ignore it for now.
"What would you like to hear Reggie?" I ask.
"The Long Song of J.Alfred Prufrock," Reggie replies.
"Eliot it is then," I say. I know the piece by heart. It is one of my favorites. I stand up and button my jacket. I stand by the fireplace and hold my teacup and saucer lightly. I clear my throat before I start reciting it.
"Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question ...
Oh, do not ask, "What is it?"
Let us go and make our visit."
The boys are paying close attention, they listen with intent. Poetry has been hammered into us since were very young. I carry on reciting the piece. Reggie is on the edge of his seat and I smile. I try not to be too cocky but I know this is one thing I can do to capture the attention of a room.
What would David think if he were in this very room, would he be impressed? Would my voice lull him? Or would the grandeur of my life sicken him? I try not to let my mind wander too much.
"I grow old ... I grow old ...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think that they will sing to me.
I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown."
I finish off the piece and take a sip of tea. The room is silent, they too are drowning in the movement of Eliot's words.
"Beautiful, well done Dex," Reggie says. He is the first to break the silence of the room.
"Thank you Reggie, excellent choice of course," I say. Reggie raises his cup to me and slowly the buzz of the room returns. I sit down again and Callum nods his approval.
"Very well recited Declan," Albert says. I try to smile at him but it is very forced. My dislike for him is growing each day.
"Thank you Albert, perhaps you can recite something?" I ask. I know he can't, we may all know our poetry but Albert has never been one for public speaking and his memory is shit. I take pleasure in jabbing at him.
"Another day maybe," Albert says. He purses his lips and I chuckle.
"Well boys, I think it's about time that I head home. Mother wants me home earlier today, she wants to go through the guest list for my birthday soirée," I say. I stand up and take a bow.
"Get home safe Dex," Reggie says.
"I will," I say. I wave and leave the library. I sigh and rejoice internally. Sometimes just five minutes in their presence is too long. Now I can go home and read David's message. I have a hop in my step that I haven't had for many years. What is this man doing to me?
I keep my head down as I leave the club, I don't want to bump into anyone and be forced into a conversation. I make to my car and climb in. I wait until I am on the road home before I put on any music. Taylor Swift is the soundtrack as I drive home. I sing with her and allow myself some freedom.
I pull into our driveway and park the car, Taylor's voice cuts off and I run a hand through my hair. One of my many nervous ticks. I get out of the car and head inside. Mother won't be home for a while. She has gone to visit one of her friends in the city today. She does want to discuss the list but not as soon as I had mentioned. I just needed to get out of there. Father is away on business, so it is just me and the nanny at home.
"Declan you are home, I wasn't expecting you back so early," Hazel says as she walks into the entrance hall. Hazel has been the family nanny for many years. She helped raise me and my older brother James, he's away at University now. Lucky bastard is living the high life in England. Sure his workload is insane but he's always been excellent in school.
"Yes, I decided to come home early. I have homework to get through," I say. Another lie, I have already finished all of my homework. I don't wait for her reply and I run upstairs to my room. I close the door behind me and take off my shoes. I sit down at my desk and look at my phone. My heart is beating a bit too fast. I open his message and hold in my glee.
To: @david.C
From: @alwaysalone16
Dear David,
I suppose Dex is a part of my full name, though there is no 'x' in my name. It starts with the same letter though. I don't like to think of myself as spoiled but i suppose others would think I am. I don't necessarily like everything that just falls in my lap. I certainly don't ask for it. That's where my brother and I differ quite a bit. He knows he's rich and he loves being rich. Daddy's money is after all the best kind of money.
Which book would you have me buy for you? I am happy to please.
Gosh, here I am blushing again. You throw the word dick around so effortlessly. There aren't many boys around volunteering their dicks... unfortunately.
I have recently broken up with my long time lover Lefty. I break up with him every now and then to keep things interesting.
Wow, three years. That must have been hard. At least you are still on good terms.
I would love to see your little hideout. I love any room filled with books to be honest. I just came back home from the club. I've spent my morning in the library, reciting poetry to my friends.
If Mr Creepy looks how he sounds then he is definitely jealous of your good looks. I mean have you seen yourself?
I hope you have gotten home safe and I look forward to your reply.
Sincerely,
AlwaysAlone16
P.S. I don't drive around in a limousine, I have a very normal old Jeep thank you very much.
I put down my phone and laugh to myself. I am still in shock. This is the most open I have ever been with anyone. I stand up and walk over to my closet, there is floor length mirror just next to it and I allow myself to look. This doesn't happen often. Could it be possible for David to find me attractive? I take off my jacket and throw it on the wing back chair behind me. I then proceed to take off my shirt and trousers. Leaving me only in my underwear. I look at myself closely, am I his type? I'm too thin and I know it, pale and I have a few moles scattered over my body. I close my eyes and turn away. I can't look at myself anymore. I put on some sweat pants and a t-shirt. I move over to the window and look out. I can see our entire garden from my windows. It's all so green, I often wonder how it could be possible for the garden to be that green.
I love going out there on warmer days, i sit under the trees and read or draw. Reading often turns into drawing for me. I am so inspired by the written word I just have to draw.
My phone vibrates snapping me out of my thoughts. I rush for the phone. I open the message and smile.
To: @alwaysalone16
From: @david.C
Dex... Well it does have quite a ring to it. I have to guess here, but I am guessing your name starts with "De"? Detlef? Dean? Denton? Dennis? I would probably be guessing for messages upon messages without getting it right hey? I will settle on Denton since it sounds posh.
Hey... Money and such doesn't make a person. I hope you know that. Between me and you, I grew up dirt poor to be honest. My dad has two jobs and my mom works double shifts at a local supermarket to get us through school. Me and my little sister if nine. I also work at the supermarket in holiday times, and even though my grades are good I am super busy with some more college applications to try and get a full bursary. I got into Brown University... Yeah, I know! It is a privilege! Unless I can get a full scholarship however I won't be able to go. But that's okay. Looking on the bright side they still accepted me, and maybe if I study somewhere else for now I can revisit the idea of studying with them a bit later in life when I have better opportunities.
I have to admit that I don't think I will be able to get along with your brother. Guys like him... Yeah. I just can't handle people like that, just being spoiled and not thinking that there are other people in the world starving.
I hope you don't see this as me hating on rich folk. I am not. I think I am just a bit frustrated with the college thing at the moment but that will work itself out. Everything works out the way it's supposed to be in the end right?
Lol. I think it is really cute that you want to buy me a book. How does a copy of the Gutenberg Bible sound to you? Lol. Nah, I'm just kidding. I have an awesome bookstore that caters for all my needs. Sooner or later every new book will become a secondhand book, so if I can't buy it when it comes out, I wait until it ends up at Julie's Bookstore and grab it then at the bargain price of under a dollar a book. And when I don't have the dollar I settle for reading online here on Instawrite. A guy doesn't have to buy me things to impress me. To me it is the little things that count to be honest.
And shame... My condolences on the breakup with Lefty. You must be quite frustrated, or do you have a little something-something on the side with a Righty as well? Lol.
Reciting poetry with your friends??? Is that what teenagers there do? Oh my god... I love poetry, but spending my days like that would probably drive me nuts. Add in those Royal Albert cups and Earl Grey tea... Nope. I think I am very happy being poor for the moment. At least I am allowed to rather go to the beach with my book and read while sitting in the sand. Though it does sound very old world and romantic in a way.
Oh and thanks for the compliment about my looks... How do you know? I don't think I am hot, but I have these freckles along my nose that I think is kinda awesome for no apparent reason. Lol.
Hope you get home safe, and lots of hugs,
David
P.S. A Jeep? Not a Bentley? Well you could have fooled me.
I am smiling from ear to ear. Could I be falling for this guy? Is it possible that he could be my first big love? No, I need to control myself. I am taking this way too far. I can't do that to myself, maybe he just wants to be friends. Besides, I might never get the opportunity to meet him. I slap myself lightly and get more comfortable. I hit reply and think of my next message carefully.
To: @david.C
From: @alwaysalone16
Dear David,
I like to think of myself as rather down to earth thank you very much. A Jeep is a perfectly respectable car. I don't like to be flashy, unless we're talking clothes. I do like my Burberry...
I will tell you name, just to stop you from thinking of me as Denton. My name is Declan. Look at how easily you got that out of me! What are you doing to me... I'm talking to a man I met online through a gay fanfiction, and I gave him my real name! I can't believe how comfortable I am with you.
I admire you, you work hard for what you have and you don't give up. I would love to work but my parents won't allow me to get a part time job. I hate taking money from them, I want to be able to pay my own way through life. I would leave this world with a drop of a hat if I could. I'll even leave the Burberry behind. I would get into my car and go far away, live day to day, find work wherever I can. I will draw and write (granted not very well) I will meet new people. I will be able to breathe. This life suffocates me. Sorry, now I'm rambling. Let me get back on topic.
Not many people like my brother, he's rather fake most of the time. So no offence taken.
A Bible? That's what you would ask for? I didn't see that coming.
I would think a second hand book has more to offer, it has been abandoned by its previous owner, all it wants is to be loved once more.
As for the break up, Righty is always there to comfort me.
Yes, that is how we entertain ourselves here. Poetry and lots of bragging about our latest conquests. Those poor girls... Reggie isn't so bad, it just occurred to me today that he might be gay too. He has never gone all the way with a girl and there's something in his eyes. I don't know how to explain it.
I know you are a stunner because of your profile pic. Unless that isn't you?? Not that, that would change how I feel but I do appreciate those green eyes.
You have freckles and I have moles... not gross ones. Oh god, I can't believe I am telling you about my moles... I'm going to stop talking now.
Looking forward to your reply.
Sincerely,
AlwaysAlone16
I groan loudly after I hit send. There is a scratching at my door, Jessica is wanting to come in. I get up and open the door for her. She runs in and jumps on the bed. I sit down next to her and sigh.
"I am hopeless Jessica," I say. She looks up at me, her eyes are kind and I know she thinks I'm a catch. She gives me hope.