“Maybe if my heart stops beating, it won't hurt this much. And never will I have to answer again to anyone. Please don't get me wrong. Because I'll never let this go, but I can't find the words to tell you I don't want to be alone, but now I feel like I don't know you.” I sang along with the track. Our first album was released two days ago which was the only thing that motivated me to get up and do something. Well that and today we have a signing at Hot Topic in Mayfair mall. Sally and Dahvie left yesterday to work on their album. I have no idea what happened to Jayy but I had this weird dream few days ago that Jayy had come into the house, saw me, collapsed, heard me singing Decode, whispered I love you then passed out. Weird right? Every time I bring it up the guys are silent.
Pants and shoes: http://weheartit.com/entry/15890540 top: http://weheartit.com/entry/30754161 makeup: http://weheartit.com/entry/33775511 (also black veil brides earrings, and harry potter necklace)
There was a knock on my door.
“It’s open.” I said putting in my earrings. Skylar’s head popped in, smiling at me.
“You ready?” he asked. I grabbed my phone and my bag and followed Skylar to their car. I got in the back next to Mark and decided to go on twitter since I haven’t been on it in a week, give or take a few days. I smiled at all the praise our album got in the past two days but as I scrolled down my smile disappeared as I read all the ones asking about me and Jayy. I exited out of twitter and sighed.
“What’s wrong?” Mark asked.
“Everything.” I replied. It was silent the next 20 minutes as we drove to Mayfair mall. Ethan met us at the entrance of JCPenny’s.
“Leslie, are you sure you’re ok for warped?” Ethan asked as we walked through the store.
“Yeah but keep in mind that warped isn’t about me it’s about the fans, and you know damn well that I’ll do anything for the fans.” I said. I heard giggling behind me and turned around. Two girls who had on our merch had a camera pointed at us. I smiled and waved at them. They squealed causing me to laugh and turn back around. We exited JCPenny’s and immediately saw the line forming at Hot Topic. A group of girls saw us and started screaming which caused everyone else to look and start screaming too. I felt bad for the old people who had no idea what was going on.
“Is it just me or do you feel bad for the old people who don’t even know what’s going on?” Axel asked.
“I just thought that!” I replied.
“Great minds think alike.” Axel said. We laughed and high fived. We made our way to our table and squeezed in. I pulled out 8 sharpies, two for each of us, and set them out then pulled out my water bottle and chips to snack on. Yeah, I’m eating now. Only because I almost threw up one day because I was so hungry. Yeah not good.
“You brought us sharpies but no chips.” Mark said.
“You are big boys now; you can get your own chips.” I said in that voice that adults use to talk to babies. That caused the fans to go ballistic. God I love this job. Whoa whoa whoa whoa, there is no music playing!
“Yo! Can we get some music playing?” I asked. Ethan nodded and went to go talk to someone. Cinema Bizarre started playing through the speakers. It was I Came 2 Party with Space Cowboy. I got up and started to dance.
“This is my jam!” I yelled and started singing. “I came to party and you came to party so why don’t we party together? I came to party and you came to party so why don’t we party together? We roll up, like no one can do it baby. It’s lights out, turn the fuckin system up. It’s one night, rolling through your town tonight. So stand up Space and Cinema Bizarre. So get up, nod your head and tell me. It’s what’s up, it’s getting hot and heavy. The phone’s on take a picture we don’t care. So get up, let me hear you sing it out.”
Skylar, Mark and Axel joined me on the chorus.
“I came to party and you came to party so why don’t we party together? I came to party and you came to party so why don’t we party together?”
“We all stars, you and me and her together. We go hard; we don’t give a fuck whatever. It’s one night, throw your fucking cameras up and let’s go. It’s cherry boom and red one. So get up, nod your head and tell me. It’s what’s up, it’s getting hot and heavy. The phones on, take a picture we don’t care. And if you got one put your drink up in the air air air.” I sang then all of us sang the chorus.
“Doesn’t matter anyway, know that we can’t stay. Know you had a boyfriend anyway. Got my picture on your phone. When you’re all alone know we got to go. Let me hear you sing it out!” I sang then the fans came in on the chorus.
The song finished and I was a little dizzy. Probably because I haven’t really eaten anything. I just passed it off as exhausted to the fans. I sat in my seat and slumped.
“That was exhausting!” I said opening my bag of Lay’s potato chips.
“What the fuck is this?! There’s like 5 chips in this bag!?” I said. I’m not even joking. Everyone was looking at me, amused.
“I am being fuckin serious here!” I said putting a chip in my mouth. I just sat there eating my chips for a while.
“When can we start? I’m bored.” I whined.
“Not for another 15 minutes.” Mark replied.
“Bullshit. LET THE PEOPLE IN!” I yelled. Ethan talked to someone and two employees opened the gates. The screaming increased as fans pushed forwards. A little girl of maybe 9 came forward with a poster and our album.
“And what might your name be?” I asked. She didn’t answer me but a boy maybe 15 came forward.
“She’s mute, her name’s Meghan.” The boy said. I nodded and signed her poster and CD.
“Are you an older brother?” I asked.
“Yup.” He replied. Meghan did some sign language to the boy. I was so lost.
“She said thank you and I love you.” The boy said handing me a poster to sign. “Wait how do you say I love you too in sign language?” I asked. The boy showed me how and I replied to Meghan. She smiled and jumped up and down. I leaned over the table and hugged her. She went on and hugged the rest of the guys.
“Now I didn’t get your name.” I said to the older brother.
“Zach.” He replied. I nodded and wrote, ‘You are the best big brother a girl could have –Leslie W.’ on his poster.
“Thank you so much.” He said.
“No thank you for enjoying our music and taking care of our younger fans.” I replied.
“Can I have a picture?” he asked.
“Of course!” I replied. He pulled out his phone and I leaned forward over the table. I smiled and he snapped it.
“This is the best day ever!” he said and moved onto Mark.
The day went pretty much like that. Autographs, pictures, complements until about 1 o’clock came. There was yelling towards the back of the line which had shrunk considerably, there were probably only 15 people left. I heard the words fat and ugly and was instantly outraged. I jumped over the table and to the back of the line. I saw a group of barbies harassing one of our fans with awesome rainbow hair like how I used to have my hair. I walked up behind them and tapped the lead bitch on the shoulder.
“What?” she snapped.
“I would appreciate you not calling our fans names and go talk to someone who gives a fuck.” I replied.
“Oh this ugly slut is your fan?” she asked.
“You don’t have the right to call someone ugly. You know why? Of course you don’t. Every single girl in this whole fuckin world is beautiful whether someone has a fake face or not. Every single guy in this world is handsome. Being ugly on the inside is the worst kind of ugly anyone could ever be. And that is what you are.” I replied.
“Whatever.” She said and started walking away.
“Oh and I think you’re lost, the insecure pieces of shit are that way!” I shouted pointing the other direction. I looked over at the girl who they were teasing. She was beaming at me.
“Tha—“ she started.
“No need to thank me, I do anything and everything for our fans. Now if anyone speaks to you or anyone that way just tell them what I just told those bitches.” I said. She nodded and hugged me.
What a great day.