EDITED
Ch 11 | 5 full moons
Mirae |
Time has gone very quickly. I'm now in my second year of college in Seoul. It's from elementary school to university —rich kids are very lucky to attend a prestigious academy and have a high reputation for their own family background. Sometimes I feel shy and ashamed to reveal my true background.
Everything is the Jeon's property is going extremely well —well maybe not too good. Kooki- I mean Jungkook has become harder to control and aggressive. It's hard to control him on my own.
With said that Kookie-ah from 5 years ago has grown into a healthy kid at the age of 11 but who am I kidding he has become a devil literally the devil itself. He is also extremely moody and always sends me glares if I don't do something that does not please his sanity.
He hates it when I call him Kookie. So Jungkook it is.
I've grown fond of that nickname, it makes me sad that will not be using anymore with him.
I fall in a lot of hard situations with him for example right now. This year we're going to have a big Christmas party at the Jeon's mansion.
Mrs. Jeon sent me to the shopping hall Jungkook insisted he wanted to come no matter what. He wouldn't take no for an answer. So now he- he! Has decided to walk somewhere else even when I said you're bound to stay close to me.
This kid thinks he's old enough to do whatever on his own.
"Jungkook!" I grit my teeth advancing from one place to another.
This shopping hall is massive I can tell already it's designed for people that have money. I scream internally stomping on the ground.
"Aish! This kid. Who does he think he is, he's only 11!"
Wait I have a cell phone I pinch my self for being retarded.
I've called Jungkook several times but some annoying phone lady keeps on talking!
"Please try again, call-" I angrily shut my phone.
"Come on Jungkook pick up the damn phone" Pulling my hair in frustration walking fast from one level to another jumping from on one elevator to another.
"Jungkoo-"!
"Why are you shouting like that?" Jungkook stood beside me. I gasp with wide eyes placing my hand on my heart; he stood with a berry lollipop in his mouth and headphones on.
I got scared at how this kid can appear like a ghost and suddenly pop next to you. Malicious devil!
He didn't seem to care much other than chewing on his lollipop and furiously tapping on his iPhone. His two green eyes attached to the glowing screen.
I hope he's not doing anything out of uh ...hand.
A similar event took place a few years back when Jungkook was a little younger. He bragged me for hours to take him to a Park it was near so we didn't need any guards; the troublemaker he is. He decided to disappear for over an hour.
Exactly 2 hours later he came back with red knuckles I never knew what happened but he had the coldest eyes.
Nothing was spoken further for some reason but Mrs. Jeon was so furious she looked like she was going to skin me alive for letting her son out of my watch and coming back with bruised, red knuckles.
I don't think I want to repeat the same history.
"Jungkook! I've been looking for you everywhere for over an hour" I shouted. He did a 'tch' sound rolling his eyes.
"Pabo, it's only been like what 51 minutes get your time correct. Noona" he sneered the last word without any care in the world.
My heart squeezed the way he talked to me. He was so fond of me when we were little why is he like this now? I blink away the unnoticeable tears breathing out.
He put his black hood over his head adjusting the headphones. He rolled his eyes at me tucking his hands on his pocket.
We went to different stores collecting Christmas decorations for a new greenhouse Mrs. Jeon built for Jungkook on his 10th birthday in the back yard.
Since it was a lot of negative space she decided to build it there. Ever since I took care of it at my free times growing flowers and roses, my favorites.
Jungkook followed behind not even uttering a word. Most of the times it's difficult not to cry but I try and try so hard to hold it in. He has no idea how much it affects me, he doesn't have to because I'm just someone that will be forgotten after I graduate.
Everyone will. I never had a real friend other then Hobi but he left to study abroad a few years back.
"Noona, I'm hungry" Jungkook bore his green eyes at me, it seems as if he's studying my soul the pupils of his eyes expanded I can't control my gaze as it automatically looks with his with no vail at all. Suddenly everything deceased me and gone silent for my own likings.
The small moment broke when my phone rang "Hello Mrs. Jeon" I picked it up sorting some things out that I'm supposed to buy.
"Jungkook, we can go to-"
I sigh a long painful moment of my life. Where did you go now? I've decided not to move he'll be back any moment. He said that he was hungry so maybe he went to a convenience store or a fast-food place.
Minutes gone past, hours went past the mall is about to be closed any moment from now, yet no a single sign of Jungkook. My eyes started stinging as I tried to hold on a painful lump on my throat.
I'm too fudging weak for my sake. I hate being vulnerable.
"I shouldn't have let him go and continue shopping" thick tears rolled down my eyes, I silently sniffle.
I've looked around everywhere, every corner of the mall, every shop but no sign of Jungkook for another hour.
My phone died I went to the security room and call out Jungkook by the public microphone stationed on the high ceilings of the mall.
No signs of Jungkook, no even one. What am I going to say to Mrs. Jeon now I've been an irresponsible person. How could I let him go? Maybe something bad happened to him? No please say no.
My cries became uncontrollable as I sat on a bench away from the streets of the shopping hall. My eyes cried it's a soul out but tears just keep rolling out I wheezed out a painful sharp breath right when my stomach knotted inside the most painful away.
Aish! Jungkook... please be back early.
"Stop crying Noona, look I've got you food" A familiar soft voice whispered in my ear next to me. My eyes scanned him from head to toe his hands held a plastic bag with a familiar scent of Korean food.
"Kookie-ah" I choked out hugging him close to me. I know I'm being childish but I panicked a lot when he was gone.
He wrapped his hands on my waist stroking my hair "I'm here now, I didn't mean to leave for that long I was a little lost on my uh- way. Stop crying now Mirae" I didn't hear what he said I was too busy sniffling.
"W-why, why are you such a troublemaker?" I forced out to speak still sniffling, I rubbed my eyes trying to pry off my shameful tears.
I'm too old to cry like this!
Jungkook looked at me. His forehead creased biting his lower lip then sigh heavily as a puff of air came out of his mouth due to the chilly evening.
"I've got your favorite" he took out the boxed food inside.
We sat there eating comfortably on the bench, even it was cold my thick clothes paid off and Jungkook's warmth solved the chilly night as well.
After finishing eating we called our driver. He came with a worried face and drove us back to the mansion.
I already know I'll be facing Mrs. Jeon's scoldings just like a few years back. I deserve it though —should've looked after Jungkook.
"Mirae, I've sent you to the mall with Jungkook at 12:00 why are you back so late in the evening!" We stood in the large living room, Jisoo stood beside Mrs. Jeon not looking please at all. They were all fuming in silent anger.
I shouldn't have declined the bodyguards they've insisted to come with us, I thought we'll be alright but I'm always wrong at everything.
That's how stupid I'm and that's how I know my bully's from elementary school was correct. I am a stupid, selfish, dumb, and naive person.
"It was my fault, I didn't listen to Noona and wandered off on my own" Mrs. Jeon gapes inspecting Jungkook everywhere muttering "are you, okay sweetheart?" Over and over again.
I shamelessly put my head down trying to hold the tears. Mrs. Jeon rubbed her forehead looking over at me "thank you for helping me shop, but please Mirae next time control Jungkook. You know better than that" she walked away as her heels clicked on the marble floor.
"Agassi, please escort Jungkook and freshen him up" she walked off with her back turned towards me. Jisoo unnie gave a guilty look following Mrs. Jeon.
I down heartedly walked to my chamber I took a long warm shower. I wore my pajamas not caring about my night routine and quickly dived under my duvet. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks and soon my quiet room filled with the depressing sounds of my cry.
I never really had anyone being disappointed at me like that other than my parents. That's why when Mrs. Jeon scolds me like this it reminds me of how my parents sometimes treated me.
No one likes me in this world except my long gone grand-ma my sweet halmeoni. She always stood by my side and inspired me to follow my dreams to be a fashion designer.
I didn't bother going for dinner. I know it's disrespectful but I can't face Jungkook's mother right now my face is already written with shame and guilt.
5 full moons have gone past too quickly. Why do we have to grow so fast and witness the full moon just once a year?
The moonlight shimmered through the French window in front of my room facing it at me. The small sparkles lit flowing on the thin atmosphere lighting up the sad mood.
If only someone existed that can understand me.
I sad smile appeared on my face as I slowly, slowly fall asleep completely. I really hope I never wake up and sleep in this warmth forever and ever.
—
Jungkook |
I walked to Mirae's room. I didn't give a shit about dinner, I hate how my mother treated my Mirae.
She's going to get it for treating her like that. Just because I'm rubbish towards Mirae doesn't mean I'm rude I'm just like this because I am. I don't need a fucking psychologist to see how I act.
I can act how I want it's my body and my mind. Everyday eomma brings some stupid half doctors and gives me the same medicine and stuff. Is she trying to kill me with all those drugs, does she not get it that her doings is my problem. I'll fucking snap one day and leave this house once and for all.
I brush my hair back as Mirae's flowery scent filled my nose. I relax at the fresh scent suddenly recalling my behavior with her.
Come on everyone knows I am not being rude. I am too cute to be rude.
I walk gently to where Mirae's sleeping. Her chest raised up and down softly in rhythm with her soft breathing. Her porcelain skin glowed under the moonlight shadow.
I have the urge to sleep next to her but I refrained the act years ago. It infuriates me thinking of someone other guy sleeping next to my noona, it doesn't matter if he's touching her or not he's not even allowed to breath next to her...
If he wants to stay alive.
"Noona, It's been 5 full moons. Would you like to wait a bit more? when the right time comes I'll let my beast out" I sit next to her stroking her ebony strands of hair.
"I can't control my actions because he's eating my soul inside me"
I smile knowing the future is very near. 'I just hope you don't turn like the ones that sin in this world and leave me, because I'll do anything. Anything to pull you back at your righteous place...'
I lean next to her face stroking her cheek ever so gently. You're a precious jewel darling.
"With me"