The rest of the exam period went by in a blur. At times, I'd blink and there'd be a question paper in front of me. I'd try to answer the questions as much as I could, but, ultimately, the questions were not meant for me—they were meant for Alessia.
Every time I woke up, I pondered just how far into Alessia's life I would make it—or if I would even go back to Olivia's, or another's, or if I'd just stay. The questions kept me awake at night, and I would wake with my bed and my thoughts disarray.
It was now summer break; I could easily catch up on sleep later on in the day if I wanted to. But if I did that, I left myself vulnerable to Alessia's dad.
Today, though, none of that mattered, and I wouldn't let it matter. My eyes ran over my Prom invite as I brushed a copper eyeshadow across my eyelids. I had to work Alessia's eye makeup a little differently to mine since her eyes were a gleaming green, and mine a deep brown. Dylan would always call them a beautiful brown.
As I applied mascara, I swallowed, hesitant about tonight. Alessia did not have friends. Where would she sit at Prom? Who would she dance with? Her only chances were Lucas and Dylan; Lucas hates her, and Dylan couldn't spare more than a second thought for her if it meant giving up Olivia. The same also, apparently, applied to the journey there, since Dylan was driving Olivia. That left Alessia out in the cold, standing by the edge of the pavement.
That would be a problem that we would have to solve later.
I pulled Alessia's gorgeous violet dress up her legs, slipping my arms through it and fastening it at the back. It looked like a violet sky, lavender clouds hanging at the bottom and bright violet rays stringing across the top. Though, it didn't look nearly as dishevelled as you'd probably imagine from the prior description.
As I straightened Alessia's wild hair to resemble curls that were a little tame and voluminous, I watched Snapchat stories, seeing some girls already posting pictures of their dresses for tonight. Then there was Dylan's story. It was a picture that I remember as if it were taken just seconds ago. It was a close-up of Olivia's face, which was glittering with fresh makeup, though taken from the side. Her curls shielded her face slightly, but not enough that her face was completely invisible.
She was beautiful. That's what Alessia thought. Alessia suddenly felt extremely envious, yet not because she holds Dylan's heart, not this time. Alessia was envious of how Olivia looked, and she could only imagine how gorgeous her dress was.
I remember that dress. It was a maroon coloured gown with gold trimmings, one that cinched in at the waist but left room for a ting dosage of cleavage. It was elegant and classy, but teasing and flirty. It was everything I had wanted back then. But now it was just a dream.
I threw Alessia's phone across the room, watching it land smoothly on her bed. I took one last glance at Alessia before continuing to work on her hair. When every strand of hair was perfectly composed, I set the straighteners down and turned them off. I stared into the mirror.
This had once been something that had scared me. When I looked into the mirror, I did not see Olivia Clark, a friendly, popular, and pretty girl, but Alessia Trent, an empty, lonely and ugly girl. But none of that was true. Those were all beliefs concocted by the girl that I share this body with, this life with. Alessia Trent.
Olivia Clark was not always friendly, popular and pretty in everyone's opinion, and Alessia Trent was not always empty, lonely or ugly. Or perhaps not at all. But it's what Alessia thought, and it's what she's thought for a long time now.
I rose from her vanity chair, turning to walk to her floor length mirror. Again, I did not expect to see Olivia Clark, but Alessia Trent. I felt a dull ache when I met eyes that were not deep brown, yet it didn't startle me anymore. I really had sunk to the bottom.
I slipped some trainers on and found a way to hitch my dress up enough that it wasn't obvious under the coat that I was going to wear. I would be travelling in style—public transport.
It was strange; as Olivia Clark, I had only ever dreamed about a limo or a fancy taxi. I wanted to feel pretty on my big day, and that included transport.
But as Alessia Trent, I felt lucky enough just to be holding the piece of card with my name on it—the invitation.
I packed a bag with Alessia's heels and other important things—like her actual clutch—before cautiously unlocking her door.
Hearing no sounds, I crept towards the stairs, checking again. When I got to the bottom, I realised that I was home alone.
That was another thing about Olivia Clark. She valued friends and family dearly, and it's not to say that Alessia didn't, but she didn't have any to value. Whilst a picture of me in my prom dress was my mum and dad's profile picture on Facebook for months, Alessia's father was one that could almost be non-existent. Whilst my friends celebrated me on their Snapchat stories, Alessia was a name that barely anyone remembered, it travelled like a whisper and halted when no one cared anymore.
I walked shamefully to the nearest bus stop, getting strange looks from passerby's. I was lucky enough when the group of boys who were at the bus stop with me boarded the first bus that came, otherwise I feared that they would do or say something stupid.
I got on my bus with my head down, taking a seat at the back, again getting looks from those already seated. I tried to ramp up feelings of excitement within me on the journey, but I could only feel vacant as the feeling of loneliness trembled deep within me.
It took three buses and a one-stop ride on the train to finally get to the venue, and when I was there, I was late by half an hour. I was guided by a party manager of sorts, who led me to the nearest toilets when I asked where they were.
In one of the cubicles, I quickly ripped off my coat and sprayed myself down with my perfume. I powdered my face and ran a brush though Alessia's hair. I slipped off my trainers and shoved them into my bag, bending down to fasten Alessia's purple heels onto her petite feet.
When I was done, I snuck out and found some sort of cloakroom, where I stuffed Alessia's bag and coat into a small corner.
Now ready, I exhaled deeply, running my clammy hands across the skirt of Alessia's gown. I could hear the music; I had been able to hear it since I got here. It flitted between pop and slow dance. When I finally entered the hall, it was playing an R&B song of sorts, and my steps seemed to mirror that of the beat of the song.
It was one of those songs that broke the dancing, and people dispersed, finding food and drink, or breaking into chatting clusters.
I let my eyes soak up the hall once more, just as they had done when I was Olivia Clark. Alessia was stunned by how a place could look so beautiful, but feel so daunting at once. She couldn't appreciate the glittering lights when judging eyes fell on her.
Alessia tried to stay to the walls, but as the song transitioned into a more of a slow-dance song, she found herself getting tangled up. She was soon pushed into someone.
Eyes wide, she finally realised that it was Dylan.
I remembered this moment as Olivia Clark. I had been dancing with Dylan, and everything had felt so velvet, carefree. Dylan kept telling me how beautiful I looked, and I had risen my head to glance up at him, telling him the same in response. Grinning, he had spun me. And then I got lost in the crowd. It seems, that as I fell into Matt's arms, Alessia had fallen into Dylan's.
Dylan beamed down at Alessia. "You made it." He said, eyebrows risen.
Alessia quickly relaxed, and I mentally stepped back to allow her this pure moment of gold. "I did," she said, "did you ever doubt me?"
Dylan's smile grew, if at all possible, but he didn't respond. Alessia relaxed in his embrace, pressing her face against his chest. It was a moment of bliss, one that she wished would last for the whole of eternity.
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such a pure, crystal chapter
watch it all go downhill from here 👀
my infamous bomb-worthy endings don't just stop at my hollows series ;)))
-this is the segment of the book where everyone just watches as hollows readers burst into tears
FABULOUS SONGS
Songs that played when I was writing this chapter (in order):
Emerge Part Ⅱ - Ruelle (TRAILER SONG!!)
Just Tonight - The Pretty Reckless
Wicked Game - Lauren Aquilina
Dead of Night - Ruelle
Tears - Clean Bandit
The House We Built - Gabrielle Aplin
Stay - Gabrielle Aplin
Sweet Dreams - Emily Browning
Waves of Gray - Ruelle
Seventeen - Troye Sivan
Low Light - Aquilo
END OF FABULOUS SONGS
Date written:
13/10/18
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Next update: Tuesday
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CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR SPOILER:
Moments of bliss are all Alessia has ever wanted, right from the beginning.
But now?
Now it's the beginning of the end.
🕊
CHAPTER COUNT UNTIL THE END OF THE BOOK:
seven & epilogue