Tony let me hold onto him as we walked into the fireproof room that he had built for me in the new base. I was still having trouble walking, but I was too stubborn to use a wheelchair or a cane. It had been a few weeks since the events with Ultron and I had been going to physical therapy, but that therapy hasn't helped everything.
"You sure you want to do this?" Tony asks as he leads me to the center of the room, where there was a bar for me to hold onto. I nod, holding onto the bar. I don't tell Tony that this need came to me after I was rolling through the halls of the base and overheard Natasha talking to Clint and his family about the new baby. It was a boy named Nathaniel. The emptiness settled in my abdomen once again and I pressed a hand to it. The pain stings as I press it harder.
"Yeah. I need to get out some aggression." I tell him and he nods. Tony kisses my forehead and leaves the room, shutting the door. It took a few minutes for him to reach the room overlooking the room I was in. He gave me a thumbs up once he was ready. I sigh and shut my eyes. It doesn't take long for all that anger to come up. The anger towards Clint, towards Ultron, to everyone. It comes out and explodes in a fiery mess. Fire shoots out of my body and towards the walls and roof. My mouth opens and flames shoot out. The room becomes a fiery hell. I let go of the bar and scream.
-
I force myself to walk as perfectly as I can out of the car. I thank Happy for driving me to Matt's and I carefully walk into his building. I take the elevator, knowing damn well I can't walk up the stairs. I hit the button for Matt's level before I lean against the wall of the elevator, taking off the Stark Industries hat I had worn. The elevator dinged as the doors slid open. I grunted as I stood up and walked out of the elevator. I put my hand on my abdomen and continue to walk down the hall. The door is already open for me when I reach it.
"I heard you coming so I thought I might as well greet you." Matt says as he loosens up his tie. I smile at him, standing there like an idiot. I haven't seen him seen he had visited me in the hospital. I was honestly was surprised that he had called me during his lunch hour and invited me to come over after work. I didn't know if I should hug him. An uneasy awkwardness floated in the air between us. He opened the door a little wider and I stepped inside, taking off my shoes and setting my hat aside.
"I'm sorry I haven't asked you to hangout sooner. We've been busy." Matt lies effortlessly. I knew that because Foggy had told me that they haven't been doing much at the office. Daredevil had been out every night though. I don't hold the lie against Matt. I don't even want to be around me right now.
"It's alright." I respond as he shuts the door, locking it. I follow him as he walks further into the room. He picks up a bottle of beer as we walk further into the apartment. My stitched up wound was burning under all of the bandages. It was an ugly looking thing. Natasha thought her scar on her lower stomach was unattractive, but it paled in comparison to the one on my stomach. Cho and the other doctors had tried their best to fix it, to minimize the damage, but it was still large.
"Have you been doing okay?" Matt asks, breaking the heavy silence between us as he sinks into the couch. The light from the billboard outside casts a blue light over both of us.
"Yeah. I have to go to physical therapy a few times a week. I don't have a job so I don't mind." I respond. I don't mention that Tony wants me to start going to regular therapy again. I rather not bring this conversation down swiftly into a black hole. Matt nods, taking a swig of his beer. His tie hangs loosely around his neck and his red glasses are still on. Before Ultron, he'd already be in sweats when I came over. Matt would have on fluffy socks and his glasses would be off. Not anymore, I suppose. I don't sit down. I stay standing, even though my legs beg for a break.
"Well that's good. Are you healing okay?" He sounds like he's talking to a distant relative rather than his girlfriend of almost three years.
"Yeah, I am." I answer, the little voice in my head saying not mentally. I was still a ruin, mentally speaking. I'd cry unexpectedly sometimes when my emotions became too much and for the most part, I spent my days in my room. I didn't have anything to say when everyone looked at me with pity. Before I could control my mouth, the words came out.
"Matt, if you don't want me here, I can go. I understand if you have any...acrimony towards me." I wanted to say animosity, but that seemed too harsh. In the little light that was in room, I could tell that Matt was blushing. He runs a hand through his hair, sighing.
"It's not that I don't want you to be here, I just don't know what to say." His voice is filled with hurt and tears pool in my eyes. It feels like my heart is getting squeezed. I look away from him, blinking rapidly.
"I understand." I say softly, my voice a little hoarse. I wrap my arms around myself, a stray tear slipping out and rolling down my cheek, "It's a shitty situation all around."
"You-I just wish we knew." Matt says and I nod. If I had knew, I would've stayed home. I wouldn't have fought that day, but I didn't know. We didn't know.
"I should go." I murmur and I turn to leave. Matt quickly gets up, setting aside his beer. His hand wraps around my arms and I freeze.
"Wait, please. I don't want to you to go. It's a shitty situation, but we aren't trying." He says and I turn to look at him, tears running down my cheeks.
"I wish I could go back. I wish I could keep myself from going and fighting that day. I already lost one baby and losing another...it hurts like hell, Matt. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore." I tell him and he swallows loudly. He carefully pulls me close, pulling me into his arms. I laid my head on his shoulder as more tears came.
"It's not your fault, you didn't know." He murmurs into my neck as he holds me. We hold onto each other. He tries to pull me close but I wince and step back, my stitches feeling like they got yanked on.
"Shit, I'm sorry." Matt says carefully as I sit down, lifting up my shirt to check my bandages. No blood seeping through the bandages. Matt sits down next to me, taking off his glasses and setting them on the table.
"I'm okay." I reassure and he furrows his brows, tilting his head slightly towards me.
"How bad is it?" Matt asks, his voice gentle. I press my lips together before carefully grabbing his hand.
"The stitches go from here," I tell him, carefully showing how long and where the injury is, "to here. The pole when through right here and came out," I move his hand to my back, carefully at an angle, "here."
"You could've died."
"Yeah. If it wasn't from the pole, it would've been from blood loss." I tell him, pulling my hand away, but he still keeps it on my stomach.
"I don't think Claire would've been able to take care of that." He carefully jokes and I chuckle. I carefully lean against the back of the couch. I wince again.
"No she wouldn't have been able to patch me up." I say, watching him as he continued to rest his hand on my stomach. Images of a more enlarged stomach and much more loving touches come to mind. A wave of nausea washes over me. Instead of that, I have a flat stomach, with an ugly scar hidden under bandages.
"I love you." Matt says suddenly as he moves closer. I smile, nodding. I try to push the ugly thoughts out of my head. I try.
"I love you too." I say as my hand slides over his, resting on top of it. The Devil of Hell's Kitchen shuts his eyes for a moment. The same thoughts could be running through his mind and I would never know. Matthew moves to the floor, kneeling in between my legs. He bows his head slightly and I run my free hand through his hair. The guilt eats at me once more, especially when he leans forward and presses a kiss to my stomach.
"'Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.'" Matt says softly, his head still slightly bowed. I swallow hard and I keep my eyes on him. I didn't realize I had started to cry until I felt him pull me close are carefully as he could. He's crying too, so it's okay. We hold each other and we cry.
That night, we mourn the lost child, even though we both know that it wasn't even that fully developed-it wasn't developed at all truly. We sleep in the same bed that night, sleeping as close as we can with my injuries. It's nice to be that close with him once again.
-
Cho takes out my stitches the next day and I get to see the scars Ultron left behind on my body. My fingertips carefully trace them. The reddish-pinkish shiny tissue contrasts greatly with my pale skin. I swallow the lump in my throat and drop my shirt back down just as someone knocks on my door. I carefully walk to my door and open it. Natasha stands in front of me, dressed down. I press my lips together as I look at her. She looks nervous as I lean against the wall.
"Why the hell are you here?" I ask, practically snapping at her. Her eyes flicker away from my face, to my stomach, for a second.
"I wanted to apologize." Natasha starts and I hold my hand up. I still want to rip her hair out because of how she lied to me.
"I am not going to accept your damn apology, Natasha. Both you and Clint sure want me to forgive you, but I'm not in a forgiving mood." I say, anger hiding behind every single little word. She nods, tucking a strand of her fiery hair behind her ear. Natalia can't use any of her spy tricks in a situation like this.
"I know you're mad at me and you have every right to be. I shouldn't have lied to you and kept Clint's marriage and his children away from you." She says and I scoff, rolling my eyes.
"No shit, Nat. You let me sleep with a taken man, even when he got fucking married. You didn't tell me that his beloved was pregnant when he knocked me up. I could forgive you if you stole a soda from me, but this is unforgivable." I fire back. The shiny pink tissue hidden under my shirt burned as I shifted.
"I know, I know. I feel like shit for not telling you. This whole situation is just a huge fucking mess." Natasha runs a hand through her hair, sighing. I cross my arms over my chest. Tony and Pepper suddenly walk down the hall. Pepper's holding a tablet in her hand. They look worried.
"Turn on the news right now." Pepper commands as she walks past me, into my room. FRIDAY turns on my TV, immediately playing the news. Natasha and I follow Tony further into my room. We all stand in front of the large television. The text on the bottom reads: BREAKING NEWS-SHOCKING AVENGERS SCANDAL. My heart suddenly drops into my stomach.
"A few minutes ago, a file was sent out to all major news channels. On it, was security footage of a very shocking scene." The female reporter says and a very familiar video starts to play. One that I had saved myself. I swallow as the video shows Clint and I arguing, my hands glowing before he suddenly slaps me. Natasha inhales sharply as she watches the me on screen, stumble backward and hold her cheek.
"As you can see, Hawkeye also known as Clint Barton, hits Peyton Stark following an argument. Our hearts go out to Miss Stark, who has been keeping out of the public eye since she was injured during the events in Sokovia." The newscaster says, a very solemn look on her face. Tony turns the TV off, running a hand through his hair.
"How the fuck did they get this video?" I ask, my voice and hoarse and scratchy. Natasha and Tony look angry as Pepper looks at me, sighing.
"Someone managed to find a saved file of it and released it." She explains and I shake my head. I feel sick.
"That's-No that's impossible I was the only one who had that copy and-and it was safe it was encrypted." I stumble over my words, tears brimming in my eyes. My cheek is stinging like it did that day.
"He hit you?" Natasha asks, turning her head to look at me. I press my lips as I look at her.
"Yeah he did. Apparently we knew two different Clints." I snap at her as I sit on my bed, looking up at Pepper and Tony, "Well what's the damage?"
"Well there's no way Barton can sue for defamation. He hit you. If anything, the public would expect you to come after him." Pepper tells me as Tony sits down on the bed.
"But he hit you, which isn't okay. I'm sure Rogers will want to punch his teeth in." Tony says, attempting to cheer me up. My stomach is still turning and I look at Natasha.
"I'm not going to sue your best friend, if that's what you're thinking. I have nothing to gain from it, but he has issues with the missus and the family because of this video, then he shouldn't have fucking hit me. Do you understand? It isn't my fault that I wouldn't fuck him so he hit me. And you can tell him that if he tries to spin this to make me look like the bad guy I have the audio of that clip hard copy. I'll fucking release it myself." I almost growl at Natasha. She doesn't say anything as she quickly walks away, leaving me to cry in Pepper and Tony's arms.
-
Clint Barton was completely and utterly pissed.
He had no idea that there was footage of what happened that day. He had no idea that it survived the fall of SHIELD.
Laura Barton was pissed. She was watching the video when Clint came back from picking up diapers. The brunette was sitting on the couch, feeding her newest child while the news played. Her eyes were glassy as she watched the video for what could've been the tenth time. Clint stopped as soon as he saw the headline on the bottom of the screen: AVENGERS SCANDAL.
"Why did you hit her?" Laura asked as she looked at her husband and the father of her three children. Clint quickly wiped the shock off his face and pretended to be confused. He was good at that. He was expecting the affair between him and Peyton to be exposed, not when he had slapped her.
"Hit who?" He asked and she pointed at the TV as the replayed the video. His jaw clenched slightly as Peyton held her cheek and stumbled back.
"You fucking slapped Peyton Stark. Why? Is that why she ran out of the house when the team came?" Laura questioned and Clint held his hands up.
"Sweetheart, breathe. We just got into a heated argument, that's it. And I already told you that she ran out because after what Maximoff did with her brain, she couldn't handle being around children." Clint explains, lying cooly. Laura narrows her eyes at her husband.
"Don't lie to me, Clint."
"Now why would I ever lie to you?"