Shivaay had never felt so broken. The way her hand held on to his. Despite everything, she wanted him to be by her. No matter how much pain he gave, no matter how far he went. He held on to her hand, looking down at their hands. He couldn't sum up the courage to see what her eyes showed him. See her tears- which had his name etched on them. He was upset that she couldn't see how he saw things. But he was mad at himself for not seeing things the way she had been seeing it. He had left her so lonely.
His heart shivered to think of what would have she gone through every single day in his absence when she was suffering so much when he was with her. Almost immediately he wrapped he arms around her pulling her close to his chest. He couldn't even say a sorry. It was too small for apology. A part of him knew he had struggled as well. He had been thinking she was he strong one in them both but he was wrong. He had drawn all the strength from her. Every time he thought he should give up it was her thought that kept him going. Every time he was lonely it was memory of time spent with her that kept him insane. Every time he missed her he would do something she would.
The driving force for his success had been her. To see her proud of him. To see her happy. To be with her soon. He couldn't forget how much in despair he was at the end of those six months when the Colonial Hotels had withdrawn interest to associate. He was scared to comeback like a failure. But, Anika wouldn't listen. She kept saying it did not matter to her. He wished he would have explained to her than getting mad at her that day. If she was his strength she was also his weakness. He had to avoid her for a while to not be weak. He did not know whether he was right or wrong. But seeing her like this he knew- ha had perhaps been wrong. Maybe he should have found another way.
She sobbed into his chest her arms around him holding him tightly. Silent tears streamed down his cheeks like never ending tributaries. They stayed like that crying their hearts out in each other's arms.
He pulled apart cupping her face and wiping her tears. "Don't cry. You - you know, right, I can't." His voice broke and he hugged her not able to hold back himself. He did not want to break in front of her. He knew she would be hurt to see him like that. She pulled away, siding her hair sticking to his tear smudged face. She looked at him not meeting her eyes. This is what she was afraid of. Breaking him.
"Shiv-va-aay." She called his name between her sobs. She can't see him break. She could break a thousand times to keep him from breaking. She could see how the walls that made him strong fell and how he was sinking in guilt. She did not want this.
He rubbed his tears looking up at her biting his tongue. "I am sorry!" He said trembling.
She moved closer cupping his face. He looked at her guilt written all over his face. "I am sorry."
"No. Its not your fault. Maybe the time...whatever. It wasn't your fault. You did everything for - for the family. Please. Don't be guilty. I can't see you like that. " she managed to say with multiple pauses.
He bent his head crying and she pulled him to her chest. He was weeping like a small child. Her hand caressed his back. She could feel him trembling in her arms. She should have found another way out of this mess. She had wounded him so badly. Her soul did not know whom to blame.
He pulled away, his eyes were rimmed red and lashes blinking heavy with tears. Like his blue oceans were set to a raging fire. His hair a mess. He cupped her face while her hands were still on his cheeks. Both couldn't stop crying. Every time one rubbed off a tear from the other's cheek, the next came down.
Frustrated she pulled him locking her lips with his. Kissing him with a desperate urge. She wanted him to know, no matter what she was always there. To be a part of his pain, his happiness, his everything. She was a part of him. Like he was hers.
He kissed her back slowly though, wrapping his arms around her. Letting her feel his hold. He broke apart quickly not able to hold his sobs. She pulled him back again resting her forehead against his. "I will always love you, no matter what!"
He looked into her eyes. He was lucky. Very lucky. "I love you too. " he whispered, slowly touching her lips with his. Their lips stayed like that. Quivering against each others. Their breaths united. Steadily, he pulled her closer by her waist. She moved her hand yo the back of his head, pulling him closer. Simultaneously their tongues met. Kissing each other like it was their only lifeline.
That one long kiss. Not control. Not passion. Not madness. Not anger. Neither hurt, nor pain. Only love. A promise to love each other forever, no matter what came. That one kiss, was a silent exchange- of a promise. To let nothing part them, not even they themselves.
They broke apart smiling at each other. Love was like magic. The tears which seemed endless now dried. The hearts which were burning now settled into cool waters. The breaths which pricked now caressed their soul. She kissed his nose smiling. "You look like a mess.." She could still see a glimpse of guilt in his eyes. He couldn't hide it from her.
"And still I know I look beautiful. Your eyes say it." He whispered a small grin appearing. She hit his chest playfully.
"Look at you... You still look sexy!" He smiled with difficulty. She noted it.
"Sexy?"
He nodded. "Tell me when I don't look?" She smiled sniffing.
He tried laughing, but his heart was heavy. She could say.
"Stop pretending Shivaay." She said slowly.
He looked into her eyes. She was his strength. She was so bravely trying to push away his pain when he knew she was still on pain. "You really look sexy every time I see you. There is no pretence." He said slowly.
She giggled. He knew how to make her laugh. She grabbed his shirt pulling him closer. Putting her hands around him she hugged him tightly. He sighed returning the bone crushing hug.
"Shivaay!"
"Hmm."
"You are a part of me, don't hurt yourself. You'll hurt me."
He smiled his eyes moistening. "Same to you!"
She giggled running her hands over back. "Let's sleep."
"No. Stay like this longer. "
She smiled. Hugging him more, if that was even possible.
A while layer both lay on the bed not leaving each other's side. She rested her head on his shoulder, her hand over him. He kept caressing her arms and looking at her every now then as though making sure she wasn't crying again. Both were sleepless lost in thoughts. Of what could have gone right if they had trued and how they could set right what was wrong. The silence was soothing after the reckless storm of emotions.
Can't explain how tempted I was to end this book at that kiss! Weird but true!
I usually don't blow my own trumpet, but I have to confess that I am proud of myself for writing the best kiss so far!
Running too busy these days, anyway managed to write it. Addicted. 😫
-Anami!